Should I change my ways or just stay who I am, by changing my ways I mean now that I live here should I try to become more Dominicanized. Now the first response I think will be an obvious yes, but that is not what I am talking about per say. I am desperately trying to adapt to the culture, I love dancing, I love going to the local clubs and hanging with the locals, and not go to so many tourist type places, I am desperately trying to improve my language skills.
But what I am talking about is I guess I am somewhat particular, in my living arrangements. I think it has developed because i didn't get married until my late 30's, and then I was separated and haven't really lived with anyone since, so I am peculiar in my own ways and how I like things done.
Case in point, last night I was telling some friends over drinks that when a chica comes to my place I consider her a visitor, even my "semi-regular girl friend" that spends at least 20 nights a month normally in my place. But I don't really let her clean (sometimes she does despite my protestations) my apartment, I wash and iron my own clothes, I wash the dishes, I do most of the cooking when eating in.
I guess I have been burned before (so I am somewhat cautious), and I first of all enjoy doing those things, I always know where my things are (if someone else cleans you sometimes have to find things), but mostly I feel if they(she) do(es) it they feel they have certain rights in your place (because they have done for you), and I don't want to give anyone that feeling. The other three gentlemen (my friends all living down here, one Dominican the other two ex-pats), all said I was wrong, that; that is what Dominican women do, and by my doing it and not allowing them to do it, I am taking something away from them (pride and self worth wise). They all have their women do all those things, or hire a maid to do those things for them.
I try to adapt to other Dominican things, besides this and wearing shorts often (most days just to daggone hot not to wear shorts); (which by the way I have found is not a kosher thing to do down here for a respectable gentleman that is not a tourist).
Again do I need to change my ways and allow the woman/women do these household chores?
Your thoughts as always would be appreciated.
But what I am talking about is I guess I am somewhat particular, in my living arrangements. I think it has developed because i didn't get married until my late 30's, and then I was separated and haven't really lived with anyone since, so I am peculiar in my own ways and how I like things done.
Case in point, last night I was telling some friends over drinks that when a chica comes to my place I consider her a visitor, even my "semi-regular girl friend" that spends at least 20 nights a month normally in my place. But I don't really let her clean (sometimes she does despite my protestations) my apartment, I wash and iron my own clothes, I wash the dishes, I do most of the cooking when eating in.
I guess I have been burned before (so I am somewhat cautious), and I first of all enjoy doing those things, I always know where my things are (if someone else cleans you sometimes have to find things), but mostly I feel if they(she) do(es) it they feel they have certain rights in your place (because they have done for you), and I don't want to give anyone that feeling. The other three gentlemen (my friends all living down here, one Dominican the other two ex-pats), all said I was wrong, that; that is what Dominican women do, and by my doing it and not allowing them to do it, I am taking something away from them (pride and self worth wise). They all have their women do all those things, or hire a maid to do those things for them.
I try to adapt to other Dominican things, besides this and wearing shorts often (most days just to daggone hot not to wear shorts); (which by the way I have found is not a kosher thing to do down here for a respectable gentleman that is not a tourist).
Again do I need to change my ways and allow the woman/women do these household chores?
Your thoughts as always would be appreciated.
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