During my recent trip to the Dominican Republic I was exposed to the gender culture. I was introduced to a young woman in Santiago and we went out for dinner. We returned to my hotel later to use my laptop for translating because my Spanish is very basic. When we entered the room she noticed my unpacked suitcase on the bed. She immediately unpacked my suitcase and put everything away. I sat on the bed and started to remove my shoes but she took over and did it. I put sugar in my coffee and she is stirring it before I have a chance. She tried to clean the hotel room, twice. Finally I just let her. She always tried to defer to me when I would ask her something. Now, I have always done for my self so this was an experience. I have been told that this is part of the culture and normal. Looking for some more experienced observations on the subject. Oh, and she is a very nice girl. Has a decent job and went home alone every night we went out. She told me she was raised in the campo if that makes a difference.
- Thread starter Rbh44
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Culture Shock
Overture
I call it "part 1".
It's only the 'culture' in certain girls to go to your hotel room 'tan rapidamente'.... :cheeky:
I call it "part 1".
It's only the 'culture' in certain girls to go to your hotel room 'tan rapidamente'.... :cheeky:
She's probably a country girl. She might be a bit uneducated, but could be a really nice person and worth getting to know. It sounds like she has good intentions since she's trying to take care of you.
I wouldn't be concerned; I think you should treat her well.
I wouldn't be concerned; I think you should treat her well.
Customs
Of course I paid for dinner. I would have paid for dinner no matter what country I was in when out with a woman. And she did not stay in my hotel room; only went there to use my laptop. She never asked me for anything and she has a job. I am well aware of the possible "sankie" angle but that was not my question. Is her behavior part of the macho culture in the DR? One person told me that this is what the woman brings to the table in a relationship, largely because the man is the bread winner, and they take pride in their contribution to the relationship. Is this common and part of the culture?
Of course I paid for dinner. I would have paid for dinner no matter what country I was in when out with a woman. And she did not stay in my hotel room; only went there to use my laptop. She never asked me for anything and she has a job. I am well aware of the possible "sankie" angle but that was not my question. Is her behavior part of the macho culture in the DR? One person told me that this is what the woman brings to the table in a relationship, largely because the man is the bread winner, and they take pride in their contribution to the relationship. Is this common and part of the culture?
YES!!!
Personally I prefer to do for myself around the house, that is just me, and it is something that most Dominicanas don't get, and feel that I don't appreciate them because of it, but I do these things for myself (I prefer to be in control of my living space), not for them.
If she, was really raised in the campo, it could be true. Ask her fro the name of the campo where she was raised and then posted back.
Ocd?
If that is the case then it is of epidemic porportions, among Dominican women and someone should call the health department and look into it.
Just kidding with you, it does seem to be cultural though the way women were brought up down here, always sweeping and mopping etc.
If that is the case then it is of epidemic porportions, among Dominican women and someone should call the health department and look into it.
Just kidding with you, it does seem to be cultural though the way women were brought up down here, always sweeping and mopping etc.
It's the way we are raised. My mom and her sister were raised to do everything for the men in the house, they had to do everything for their two brothers. They are both college educated, professional women who grew up in the big city of Santiago, so it has nothing to do with growing up in a campo.
My mom raised me in a similar way and I grew up in the U.S. She gets upset if she visits me and sees my husband pick up his dinner plate and put it in the sink after he is done eating. She thinks I should be doing everything for him even though I work a full time job also.
My mom raised me in a similar way and I grew up in the U.S. She gets upset if she visits me and sees my husband pick up his dinner plate and put it in the sink after he is done eating. She thinks I should be doing everything for him even though I work a full time job also.
Yes. Its part of the culture. Women serve, men do whatever they want. Its extremely convenient for men (*ahem* Pig) but not so much for the women, as they seem to believe their purpose in life is to serve and be a maid to men.
So its "lovely" if you're a man and, well, exploitative if you're a woman.
So its "lovely" if you're a man and, well, exploitative if you're a woman.
No, Its because even though this culture is wonderful for men, it hurts and demeans women and makes them out to be second class citizens, whether expats see them that way or not. Dominican men usually do. Nothing to do with the US and more to do with basic equality that people deserve everywhere. If this wasnt a problem there wouldnt be so many emerging feminist groups in the DR. Some ladies are tired of it and others simply dont know any better. See the "Dominican women and cheating" thread.
Heres a DR1 link to an article http://dr1.com/articles/machismo.shtml
and the thread http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/92771-dominican-women-cheating.html
Basically its insanity to deny the gender-based oppression women in the DR face due to the typical latin-american "machismo" attitude that many expats dont necessarily share (thats not to say it doesnt exist everywhere to varying degrees). There are real and true VERY negative effects, as cute as it may seem for those who dont understand the plight of dominican women.