Sending Gifts...

Blanca Goddess

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Dec 19, 2006
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I am looking for some ideas on what Dominicans would appreciate / need. My husband is from DR but I have only been there once and his family is in my opinion quite poor. I want to send over a package for Christmas and I need some input on what they could actually use and would appreciate getting. My husband is no help, when we had gone last time he brought his grandmother perfume. I find this to be inappropriate because, in my mind, she could probably use a 100 other things that are more beneficial to living comfortably. I would never want to offend anyone so here I am asking for your imput...what do you think they could use?
 

J D Sauser

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Nov 20, 2004
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www.hispanosuizainvest.com
I am looking for some ideas on what Dominicans would appreciate / need. My husband is from DR but I have only been there once and his family is in my opinion quite poor. I want to send over a package for Christmas and I need some input on what they could actually use and would appreciate getting. My husband is no help, when we had gone last time he brought his grandmother perfume. I find this to be inappropriate because, in my mind, she could probably use a 100 other things that are more beneficial to living comfortably. I would never want to offend anyone so here I am asking for your imput...what do you think they could use?

They could probably use a 1000 things, but will most likely fancy other things, like designer wear, name brand perfumes, fancy cell phones with tools they can't use, mp3 players (load them up with bachata and reggaeton as they probably don't have a computer!), etc. If you send money, they will take it to the next beauty parlor and the way home from Westen Union and be hungry again next day and the kids without cloths, but most everybody will show off (privar) some funny hair makeover for a day or too, so don't.
If they have kids, send kid's clothes and shoes! School supplies are often recommended too. Books for kids (depending the ages) are few and costly here too and most certainly something most parents will not spend on. If you can get something in Spanish AND English with pictures which has an educative value, like explaining things or other countries, you might be starting something. Don't send too much or they will come for more too often. Don't send too luxurious things for the kids, or the elders will eventually sell it to buy beer or feed the hairdresser.

... J-D.
 

wuarhat

I am a out of touch hippie.
Nov 13, 2006
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I am looking for some ideas on what Dominicans would appreciate / need. My husband is from DR but I have only been there once and his family is in my opinion quite poor. I want to send over a package for Christmas and I need some input on what they could actually use and would appreciate getting. My husband is no help, when we had gone last time he brought his grandmother perfume. I find this to be inappropriate because, in my mind, she could probably use a 100 other things that are more beneficial to living comfortably. I would never want to offend anyone so here I am asking for your imput...what do you think they could use?

a decent manual can opener
a flashlight with a crank that recharges its batteries
a set of plastic bowls with sealable lids
still usable pieces of used luggage
 

Blanca Goddess

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Dec 19, 2006
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:speechles Yes, your right they do do that! I remember his sister asking for a gold braclet didnt think anything of it till I when to DR and saw how and where she was living I was dumbfounded! Seriously the tin roof has holes in it. I just don't understand. Why are they like that? I agree about the money that is why I would rather pay the shipping cost to send stuff there. Maybe they won't even appreciate my efforts?
 

wuarhat

I am a out of touch hippie.
Nov 13, 2006
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:speechles Yes, your right they do do that! I remember his sister asking for a gold braclet didnt think anything of it till I when to DR and saw how and where she was living I was dumbfounded! Seriously the tin roof has holes in it. I just don't understand. Why are they like that? I agree about the money that is why I would rather pay the shipping cost to send stuff there. Maybe they won't even appreciate my efforts?

I think it?s systemic discouraged poverty. Nobody has a clue how to escape it, because so few have ever done it. Therefore, very few even have a notion to try it. It kind of makes sense to spend the money that way, because regardless of what they do with it the system will beat them down again within a month. A few weeks of a better diet in a lifetime of drudgery isn?t going to make that much difference. I think the best anybody?s (I?m using that word statistically i.e. in better than 99% of cases) ever gotten in their world, for generations, is a few moments of enjoyment from that kind of splurging.
 

J D Sauser

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Nov 20, 2004
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www.hispanosuizainvest.com
:speechles Yes, your right they do do that! I remember his sister asking for a gold braclet didnt think anything of it till I when to DR and saw how and where she was living I was dumbfounded! Seriously the tin roof has holes in it. I just don't understand. Why are they like that? I agree about the money that is why I would rather pay the shipping cost to send stuff there. Maybe they won't even appreciate my efforts?

It's "relatively easy" to be poor here... it's bearable too. People don't freeze to death in the winter, they don't need to starve unless they force themselves into big city ghettos. The often hot and heavy and rain scattered climate also does not seem to enthuse to regular hard pioneer work.
What really gets me at times, is that they don't seem prepared to work hard so their kids will get a better future. Yes, maybe many have just surrendered to the fact that they were born poor, born to die poor.
On the other hand, making it here, is NOT easy. You try! But at times, they sure seem hell bound to do everything to assure they and their familiy will remain poor.
Help is often mistaken as "luck", and as luck is rare, they use it up at once and never look back and much less forward.

When I got into hillbilly, country and western swing music, my musical heroes where people like Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash, Hank Thompson etc... all white men from poor families living what was then considered a "black folks" life in a depressed South. This was how I got to know the US... reading biographies of sons of white cotton pickers, sharecroppers! Poor, hungry, muscle and bones, but bound to make it and not just in music... the last pioneer spirit, maybe. Their families giving up EVERYTHING just to give their kids a shot at a better future. It's only 60 years back!
Some times I really have a hard time digesting the lack of that spirit here, especially when I see people trying to help, trying to show ways, trying to help their kids... and then, what they get? ... "traeme un celulal jebi de paya!"

... Boy, did we sway off topic... and then, maybe not.

If you do help, do it YOUR way. Analise the situation and act directly helping those who may have a chance.
If you don't want to risk seeing all your effort being wasted by compulsive and as "culture" declared ignorance... giv'em some sugar candy and enjoy the great big smile.

... J-D.
 

Blanca Goddess

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Dec 19, 2006
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I completely get what you are trying to say about them laughing more and able to deal with things. I have only gone to DR the one time because I was in shock and spent so much time crying on my vacation. I think my husband thought I was crazy. He was saying that they eat everyday and couldnt understand why I was sad. I knew that it was not all resort beaches and that there are poor people but I was expecting poor like they lived on a farm and worked the land to eat and survived that way instead of getting a paycheck from a cozy deskjob and going to the grocery store. They lived in close proximity and in shacks... but true they seemed very happy. They wanted to give me everything they had. I truely do value the closeness to family and friends, something that you don't always find here where I live. (I barely know any of my neighbors.) I want to help out but as I said before don't want to send just cash. Was looking for idea's on what might be expensive or difficult to get there but easy here in the states. I thought about sending a basket ball hoop that the neighborhood kids could play on and my husband shot that down quickly telling me they wouldnt play that...it is all about baseball. But to me baseball seems to need a large area that's why I thought the basket ball would work better but I guess I will keep thinking.
 

La Mariposa

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Jun 4, 2004
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:speechles Yes, your right they do do that! I remember his sister asking for a gold braclet didnt think anything of it till I when to DR and saw how and where she was living I was dumbfounded! Seriously the tin roof has holes in it. I just don't understand. Why are they like that? I agree about the money that is why I would rather pay the shipping cost to send stuff there. Maybe they won't even appreciate my efforts?

You said it, they won't
 

La Mariposa

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Jun 4, 2004
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I completely get what you are trying to say about them laughing more and able to deal with things. I have only gone to DR the one time because I was in shock and spent so much time crying on my vacation. I think my husband thought I was crazy. He was saying that they eat everyday and couldnt understand why I was sad. I knew that it was not all resort beaches and that there are poor people but I was expecting poor like they lived on a farm and worked the land to eat and survived that way instead of getting a paycheck from a cozy deskjob and going to the grocery store. They lived in close proximity and in shacks... but true they seemed very happy. They wanted to give me everything they had. I truely do value the closeness to family and friends, something that you don't always find here where I live. (I barely know any of my neighbors.) I want to help out but as I said before don't want to send just cash. Was looking for idea's on what might be expensive or difficult to get there but easy here in the states. I thought about sending a basket ball hoop that the neighborhood kids could play on and my husband shot that down quickly telling me they wouldnt play that...it is all about baseball. But to me baseball seems to need a large area that's why I thought the basket ball would work better but I guess I will keep thinking.

I'm sure they are expecting money if not the gifts and money. If you send some expensive gifts but not the gifts they want, what do you think they will do ?? Yes, selling it for about half the price you will buy it.
 

minerva_feliz

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May 4, 2009
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Don't turn into the gift horse...

You've met them once. They're poor, but so are millions of others, probably more so. They were poor before you met them, and have made it up until now. Keep that in mind...

If you let your emotions get in the way and/or give them what they say they want or cash money, you are setting yourself up to ruin a potentially good family relationship. How? By creating too many expectations, by fulfilling the stereotype of the rich gringa, and by contributing to a culture of 'give me something for nothing' that will continue to keep people in the cycle of poverty for years to come.

I'm not saying be a jerk or be a scrooge. It is your HUSBAND'S family, and it's the holidays. Just keep it under control set up some guidelines first. Here are my suggestions:

-If you want, send them a box once a year for Christmas gifts, marked from you AND your husband. You probably don't want to be known as 'the American lady who sends us stuff'.
-Get one person 1 gift each. Make sure the gift is labeled (like on the tag of the item) with the person's name, so that whoever gets the box doesn't take something that isn't theirs because they like it more.
-Don't buy expensive things such as electronics, ipods, etc. Gifts can be practical and nice at the same time, and less likely to be re-sold.
-Buy clothes smaller than you think would work for them as people don't like them baggy. Should probably have husband pick out clothes, as he may have a better idea of the styles people like wearing here.

That being said, here are my cheap and practical gift ideas...when I say cheap, I am talking about clearance/sales...Old Navy and similar stores are good. People will appreciate it just the same, and it would cost way more than retail here anyway, so why pay more?!

-For women, a purse, a going-out shirt, bath and body works type products, a pair of high-heel dress shoes, a fashion watch.
-For men, a belt, a set of dominos, a baseball cap of their team, a pack of white Hanes undershirts, pack of dress socks, a short-sleeve button-up dress shirt.
-Teens like in-style clothes such as polo shirts (remember, tight!), accessories such as belts, caps, fashion jewelry (think Claire's), and shoes
-Kiddies like toys, of course. Matchbox cars, nerf balls, dolls, outdoor play stuff (kites, bat and ball, easter basket-type toys...), coloring books and crayons, anything you think is sturdy and can be shared with others. Can also get them something practical, like a pack of underwear, socks, or kiddie toothbrush/paste. Could also get teens/kids a little pouch of school supplies.
-For the whole family: Tupperware set and wind-up flashlight (good ideas from other poster), set of sheets (full), tins of cookies/candies, re-chargeable batteries and charger.

Have fun shopping!
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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your bet choice would be food - if you were here to buy it.
do they have power in their house? if so i would suggest rice maker and sandwich maker. both as simple as possible and second hand - maybe from garage sales? both will be needed and appreciated. sandwich maker can even become a small business :)
other than that clothes (sales or nice second hand).
hair product for women (in a supermarket in DR you will see a choice of three or four shower gels and two full isles of hair stuff): relaxers, extensions etc.
notebooks and pens/pencils for kids.
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
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Jan 9, 2009
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What we're bringing in Dec

We'll be in DR for a month from late Dec through late January, so we'll be there for January 6th - when all the gifts are exchanged there. We're old-timers at this, my husband is Dominican born and we've been going back there for 33 years. We send big boxes there frequently [right now we have a deal for 3 huge boxes for $200/US delivered right to their door, no weight limit, if it fits it goes in], and we're in the process of packing things now. This is a great time to buy summer clothes, I've been trolling Old Navy, Gap, etc. picking up amazing bargains [$15 tops for $2.49, kids shirts for $1.25, etc]. They know the brands, and that's what they look for. Of course, we know everyone's size, which makes it easier for us. So far I've packed:

Lots of ladies tops
Men's and boys t-shirts
Men's dress shirts
GAP, Old Navy baseball caps
Plastic storage containers [they use everything under the sun for storage there, those Milex cans come to mind]
Bath & Body Works body washes, splashes, creams [they like the vanilla fragrances there]
Jumbo packs of bath soap like Safeguard [I know, they sell it there, but la suegra likes the ones we bring because she only goes to the colmado, not the supermarkets]
Wind up flashlights - even found a wind up radio
Underwear - bras and panties for my mother-in-law, she swears what they sell there is junk
Fluffy Towels
Kitchen towels
Kitchen utensils
Tray Sets [they love trays to serve coffee on, and they're not easy to find]
Sheet Set
Bathroom Rugs
Nice Plastic Place Mats [his family likes them better than the fabric ones, easier to clean I guess]
Non-stick and stainless steel pots/fry pans

The younger nephews all want sneakers, and again, they know the brands they want [expensive ones that are like $80 here! Those won't be in the box:cheeky:].

My husband packs his own box - this time he has a chain saw in there [need to cut some trees on our property] and he brings down all sorts of tools. He was aggravated last time we were there because the drill bits for cement that we bought in SD kept breaking, and so he prefers to bring hardware items from here. He picks up extra drills and such at yard sales and sends them down - with 5 brothers someone always needs something. So think about maybe a set of tools/screwdrivers, etc. for any men in the family.

I noticed someone mentioned undershirts, which brought to mind something that has always puzzled me about Dominican men. Why do so many of them wear undershirts under their dress shirts in that un-Godly heat?

AE
 

AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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Because they suck up the sweat and the shirt won't stick to the body. Actually, if it's pure cotton, it will keep you feeling cooler, dryer and cleaner longer. Nylon, Elastane or Lycra does obviously on the contrary.

... J-D.

Thanks J-D. It makes me hot just looking at them tho. (no smart a$$ comments please....) :cheeky:

AE
 

Blanca Goddess

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Dec 19, 2006
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3 boxes for $200

Thanks for your idea's. I feel the same way about the deals in the stores right now for summer clothes. I didn't know about the January gift giving time. I just assumed it was in December but that is good to know because after Christmas sales are outstanding too for the rest of the stuff. (I will need to investigate how long it takes to get to its destination to ensure it would arrive in time). I would love to know who you use for shipping. I live in NH and I was under the impression that the mail system was not very secure, especially for packages. I heard that people just open them up and they usually don't even make it to the destination. I heard of a place in Lawrence MA 1/2 hr away from me that sends packages over on a boat and then they need to be picked up in DR from that port. Your way seem much easier.
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
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Thanks for your idea's. I feel the same way about the deals in the stores right now for summer clothes. I didn't know about the January gift giving time. I just assumed it was in December but that is good to know because after Christmas sales are outstanding too for the rest of the stuff. (I will need to investigate how long it takes to get to its destination to ensure it would arrive in time). I would love to know who you use for shipping. I live in NH and I was under the impression that the mail system was not very secure, especially for packages. I heard that people just open them up and they usually don't even make it to the destination. I heard of a place in Lawrence MA 1/2 hr away from me that sends packages over on a boat and then they need to be picked up in DR from that port. Your way seem much easier.

There are a LOT of Dominicans in MA, there have to be the same shipping companies there. The 3/$200 deal is with a couple of companies I think, they provide the boxes, they go into a container and are shipped by sea, so you have to allow up to 6 weeks for them to get delivered in DR. I think things move faster before Christmas because there is a larger volume and the containers fill up faster. The regular post office is usually a disaster, lots of lost packages and costs a fortune too. Hopefully someone here from MA will post the names/addresses/phone contact for the shippers there.

If there are any Latino grocery stores near you, or places that send $$ to DR, ask there first, most of them have connections with the shippers. We drop our boxes off to one of those, and the shipper comes and picks them up once every couple of weeks or so.

As far as I know, they exchange gifts on Jan 6th, the day the Three Kings brought Jesus their gifts. At least that's what my in-laws do. My husband used to put out (I think!!!) straw for the camels when he was a kid, the way we left cookies for Santa.

Good luck goddess!



AE
 

wuarhat

I am a out of touch hippie.
Nov 13, 2006
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blankets

I've found this to be very popular, and it?s cheap. In WalMart?s sewing section they sell fleece on 59? wide bolts. From time to time they will clear a certain bolt at around $3 a yard. A two yard section of this makes a nice individual?s blanket, sufficient for the coldest of Dominican nights.