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  1. #1
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    Default Its not my fault; I'm the real victim here

    Lu and I were talking this weekend about the victim mentality in the DR; how whenever something goes wrong, the Dominican feels they are the victim, when they actually caused the problem.

    Basically lets say you hire a Dominican to do a job for you. If they screw it up due to their incompetence, they will find a way to blame the problem on you and be upset with you.

    Americans don't realise how this works and its something to be be extremely wary of. Its pretty hard to come across remorse, or people apologizing here.

    Here's an example from another thread:

    >> Originally Posted by jalencastro
    >> she is really getting abused here....her boyfriend should be
    >> ashamed of what he is putting her through....totally being robbed
    >
    > huh, huh! He even cried when she accused him of robbing her
    > and complaining about the state of her house.

    http://www.dr1.com/forums/legal/9780...al-advice.html

    I run into this victim mentality problem from time to time and its pretty distasteful. Please be careful out there, especially if you're new to the DR.

  2. #2
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    Default

    Hardly ever noticed that when living in santo domingo

  3. #3
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    Default

    Can these scenarios be summarised as "it's not the problem but your reaction to the problem that is a problem"?

  4. #4
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    Default Not Me

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian Bye View Post
    If they screw it up due to their incompetence, they will find a way to blame the problem on you and be upset with you.
    Not necessarily you.
    It could be the hammer, the nail, the sun, whatever.
    "No tengo la culpa", is among the first sentences a Dominican learns.

    donP

  5. #5
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    Default

    No es la culpa mia, sounds like a very honed response to me. Politicians around the world use it often, and it seems to work for them. Learning plausible deniability is worth knowing in a survival mode. Maybe the crux of that is unrecognized by the foreign eye in unfamiliar surroundings. That's leverage.
    Who throws their hands first up in frustration, and walks away?

    That would be the loser.
    Happens everywhere, every day, not just here.

  6. #6
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    Default

    Sounds like human nature

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by drcaycu View Post
    Sounds like human nature
    much more natural here

  8. #8
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    there are consequences if you lie somewhere else - so you learn to lie better, you dont have to be convincing here

  9. #9
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    When a Dominican contractor screws it up for his Gringo employer - who cares apart from the Gringo?
    What are they going to do? Litigate? HA!

    Also, when a Dominican employs a Dominican contractor the expectations are realistic and implicitly understood. (Lower)

    And if a Dominican contractor screws it up for or rips off another Dominican then there will be repercussions for his business so he is less likely to do it.

    It is the free market not working for you. (again)


    Maybe??

  10. #10
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    This is the national sport along with asking for money here in DR.
    How about when you get into a car accident with a motorbike driver, when they see what type of car is involve in the accident and the way the people are dress.

    (long post)

    My cousin was here from New York last week, she owns an SUV here, about the 3rd day she was here she went to a supermarket in Gurabo, as she was pulling out of the parking lot, two guys in a motorbike crash into her right side back door, and she stops to see what had happen, she sees the two guys in the road and a lot of people stopping to see what is going on, one of the person who stop to look tells her to take them to the hospital as she has a US way of thinking she says in her broken down Dominican, let's call an ambulance (big mistake) the two guys who were injure with minor cuts on their head and hands and by the way they were both drunk!
    staring asking her for money, but an AMET officer came by and said no both of you have to go to the hospital, and them she call me and I came and agree to take them both to the hospital in my cousin's SUV, so when we got the local hospital here in Santiago, the cop who is the hospital ask her what had happen and she told him, the officer them says to the AMET officer to let her go, that she has insurance and a driver license, the AMET officer call his "boss" and was told not to let her go and to take her to the AMET main station in Santiago so that they can take her statement, so the AMET agent takes both of us there, in the mean time she is getting upset, and asking why Dominicans treat an accident like a crime, I tell thats' the way its down here, finally we get into the AMET main station and they (AMETS) tell us that they have to wait for a phone call from the hospital emergency room to let them know that the two injure drunks were going to be ok!!!
    So after insisting on the AMET calling the hospital, they finally find out that the two injure guys were going to make it!! (minor cuts to the head and hands).
    The AMET took her statement and when were both ready to leave, they told her that her SUV had to stay in the AMET Parking lot overnight as insurance that she was going to come back, I told the officer in charge there that she had insurance and that they could find her if she did not come back, officer told that the way it was here in DR,. so we went home.

    The next day we both arrive back at AMET at around 8 am sharp as we were told, well the one guy had spend the night there and the other with some relatives, I find out that the guys were from a place in Puerto Plata call Yasica.
    So finally the other guys shows up around 9 am or so, them they are both told to go to the medico lesgista, (the doctor who tells how long it will take their injuries to heal)
    so, they both go me and my cousin are told to stay there until they get back, so we wait about 2 hours in AMET for the guys to came back from the medico legista.
    When they got back about 11:15 am or so, an office hands my cousin a paper ( the accident report) and tells her that she has to make 8 copies of it!!! (they don't have a copy machine) so we both go outside to make the copies and the two guys follow us while we do this, and the some due pops out no where and says to me "what type of insurance you guys have ( I guess he has see how my cousin was dress), I am their attorney ( the two drunks), I told the guy to f*** off, and go ask the officers at AMET (attorneys are not allow up in the AMET station), I never saw the guy again.

    Back at the AMET, we were told to sit down and wait to be taken to the court house to see the Majistrado de PAZ, ( civil case court), I ask the office why do we have to go there if her SUV has insurance and she has a driver license, he said ohh its the way here, so we wait about 12:30, we get taken there, now the AMET had no vehicule to take us there ( the two guys, me, my cousin and the AMET officer) so we take my car and head there, when we get there we are told to sit and wait for the judge to see us.

    About 1 PM, the judge steps into the court and wave at us to came in, as we sit on his office the first thing out of the drunk guy mouth was we want $30,000 pesos for the motorbike fixing and the compensation to us, the judge stop and look at him and said the motor its not worth $20,000 pesos!!.
    So he listen to my cousin first and then to them the one drunk guy that was driving tell the officer that my cousin was going the wrong way, so he (judge) ask him ok if she was coming the wrong where did you guys land when you cash, in the curd or the middle of the road and the guy told him in the curd side, there was his error, the judge told us to leave his office to my cousin to call her insurance to have her car fix and the two guys were issue two violation tickets one for no insurance, driver license and the other for no helmet.

    Now as we were leaving the building one of the guys ask my cousin for money, tell her look at me, look at my injuries, and the judge who was behind me, told well she is not injure because she was in large car that you, and then yell to the both of them to go pay the fines!!!

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