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  1. #1
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    Default Why is it so hard to say 'Thank You'?

    I have noticed that here in the DR, when you tip, very often you don't get a 'thank you.' I just wonder why that is. In our casino, we literally had to train the staff to say 'thank you' when getting a tip. I noticed it again on the tennis court, I tip the ball boy RD$100 after a game, which should be considered a good tip, but he just doesn't get the word 'gracias' or 'thank you' out of his mouth. I have lived here 7 years and I just don't get it.

  2. #2
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    Default Merecido

    Quote Originally Posted by Conchman View Post
    very often you don't get a 'thank you.' I just wonder why that is.
    Lack of politeness and good manners.
    Not taught at school nor in most families.
    Todo es merecido.

    donP

  3. #3
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    Default wow

    I do not think this is a "Dominican" thing at all....

    i do not understand that at all...

    i tip the guys from the colmado ten pesos and always get a thanks

    ditto the guys from the grocery who carry the ten bags up three flights...

    I always get thanked here...

    perhaps they figure that you at the tennis club are richer and should tip more
    ? Maybe they are only living on tips? what is the deal? maybe you should ask? But you tip the waiter 100 peso on a good meal, I mean a 1000 pesos meal, right? So maybe he is comparing his tips with the waiters and figuring he is getting a bad deal......dunno...

    try not tipping for a while

    there is the old capitalist saw

    to make the poor work harder, pay them less
    to make the rich work harder, pay them more

  4. #4
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    Default

    It's the same in most of Latin America, saw a difference though in Colombia and Costa Rica. Don't know how it is south of Colombia though.
    Had a hard time adjusting to it also.

  5. #5
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    Lack of family values in recent Dominican families than come from barrios (not all, just some) specially when the mother had them while been a teenager herself. Go to El Cibao or a campo and tip somebody $50 and you'll get the thank you always. One of the reasons I love El Cibao.

  6. #6
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    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by donP View Post
    Lack of politeness and good manners.
    Not taught at school nor in most families.
    Todo es merecido.

    donP
    I find it at all levels in my dealings here. Business and personal - executive or in the colmado.

    Just not enforced as a cultural norm. It goes with the "dame" as well. After 9 years in the culture and 6 here in DR, it still irritates me as well

    One of my clients has a sign hanging in the employee cafeteria. It says some like:

    "It is easy to say: Please, thank you, at your services, have a nice day"

  7. #7
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    Default STGO. vs. SD

    Quote Originally Posted by ExtremeR View Post
    Go to El Cibao or a campo and tip somebody $50 and you'll get the thank you always.
    Quite true.
    That's why I rather shop in Santiago than in SD, people are just more polite and friendlier there.

    donP

  8. #8
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    Default

    I would say that most people I have come across are polite and do say gracias but there are many who do not.
    At least give me a smile and a nod.

    If I give someone a tip and don't get a gracias, I will loudly say "DE NADA!"

    Sometimes when I see a friend or acquaintance and they don't say hola or como estas I will say, "HOLA, BIEN GRACIAS, Y TU?"

  9. #9
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mountainannie View Post
    I do not think this is a "Dominican" thing at all....

    i do not understand that at all...

    i tip the guys from the colmado ten pesos and always get a thanks

    ditto the guys from the grocery who carry the ten bags up three flights...

    I always get thanked here...
    Yes I mostly always get thanked too, maybe because I had a conversation with the person while they were packing up my shopping, asked about their family, remembered something they told me last week and asked about it again. In other words, I endeavour to treat the person as a person and not a function (bag packer, fuel dispenser, meal carrier etc etc).

    The few who haven't thanked me in words necessarily have been young kids whom I don't really know being given a colouring book and crayons or somesuch, but........the joy and happiness is obvious in their eyes and smiles. So........I take the smile as a thank you. I would say 90% of the time it is really easy to spot the appreciation. Just because I was brought up to say thank you verbally in my culture of origin, doesn't mean I would expect this response globally.

    And as a Brit. when I first lived in the US and thanked someone, it took a while to adjust to the rejoinder 'you're welcome' . What do you mean I'm welcome, I haven't just arrived, I've been in this place 2 hours already..... How thanks are communicated and how people then thank for the thanks has to be culturally determined, surely? Watch the interviewers on CNN thanking the guest who then thanks them which in turn elicits another comment from the interviewer........whilst the poor viewer is thinking 'for heaven's sake, get on with it!'. And what's best, real heartfelt thanks, either by word, gesture or facial expression or robotic parrotting of words which someone has been taught via a script?

  10. #10
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    Default

    In Spanish-speaking culture the courtesy is conveyed in the phrasing and in the way the person is addressed. Although I think this applies to 'please' more than 'thank you'.

    In general I find Dominicans much more courteous than people in Europe, but yes, in some situations the absence of thanks does leave me wondering.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lambada
    And what's best, real heartfelt thanks, either by word, gesture or facial expression or robotic parrotting of words which someone has been taught via a script?
    At the same time I have a similar reaction to the phoney, passive-aggressive use of 'usted'. Is respect conveyed through grammar or by the way you actually treat a person?

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