When expats decide to throw in the towel and return to the 1st World...

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mrgood1000

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I wanted to ask why many expats are disillusioned and abandon their expat dreams. I was just curious. Like many things in life (marriage is a good example) things sometimes don't work out because people have expectations which aren't met. I sometimes say "unrealistic expectations" but this sounds like a value judgement. Probably those responding to this won't be the expats who have sold in the DR and returned for good to the States or wherever. Is it because people don't do due diligence? Do they see the palm trees on a one week visit and just come on a whim? I am not talking about those who leave because of a problem (sickness, financial, some terrible experience). I refer to those who just see their decision as a mistake and cash in their chips.
 

Afgan

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I wanted to ask why many expats are disillusioned and abandon their expat dreams. I was just curious. Like many things in life (marriage is a good example) things sometimes don't work out because people have expectations which aren't met. I sometimes say "unrealistic expectations" but this sounds like a value judgement. Probably those responding to this won't be the expats who have sold in the DR and returned for good to the States or wherever. Is it because people don't do due diligence? Do they see the palm trees on a one week visit and just come on a whim? I am not talking about those who leave because of a problem (sickness, financial, some terrible experience). I refer to those who just see their decision as a mistake and cash in their chips.


not true! nobody in his/her right mind will ever leave this ultimate perfect paradise. nobody.
 

Robert

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Are about those that start businesses or have jobs here, or people that retire here?

Most of the ones I see leave due to lack of due diligence and not being able to
assimilate into the local culture. This also depends on location, as some parts of the DR are highly populated with foreigners in comparison to others, so assimilation into local "Dominican" culture is not so easy.
 

RUBIO4U

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I would like to read posts from those that "actually" live here and not from those that live here in “their minds” because they pop in several times a year. I have been traveling here since 1993 and I do live here since retiring. I assimilated just fine despite my problems early on. Who’s fault was it? It was mine and nobody else’s. Why, because I knew nothing about this country when I first started coming here. Sure, I had to “learn” the language. I had to “learn” the laws. I had to “learn” the culture. One thing I did do was assimilate instead of trying to force the indigenous people to assimilate to me, my culture, laws and way of life. Remember, you left the errr hmmm 1st world to come here, not the other way around. Ex pats become disenchanted because their expectations fall very short of reality. They come charging down here without learning a thing and become frustrated and infuriated with the Dominicans because “they” do not speak “your” language and do not understand “your” way of life. Try closing your mouths and opening your mind while learning a thing or two. I assure you, you will be just fine!
 
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Matilda

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Sep 13, 2006
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The ones who I have known who have left have left for the follwoing reasons:

1. lady in 50s - sanky cleaned out her bank account so she had no money and he left her. She went home to her husband.

2. lady 40s. Left as needed hospital treatment as was free in Uk

3. Two 20 year old ladies. Needed money and did not like jobs here and were not earning enough money. Sankies did not work out either!!!

4. Gentlemen who had been here for 15 years plus. had just had enough of life here and especially doing business here.

To be honest it appears to be

1. relationships do not work out
2. lack of money
3. An illness - which can be treated better or cheaper in homw country
4. just had enough - after a long time

matilda
 
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cobraboy

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Even though it is called "paradise," you still have to take in to consideration, the political/police corruption, along with super unreliable electricity and come up with a more accurate word, like "almost paradise," or "third world type paradise," or "corrupt paradise."

Just a thought.:surprised
Paradise is what you make of it.

You can come here, but you're the same person you were before.

And life here is not a permanent vacation party, not here, not anywhere.
 
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tflea

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Can't Get Away

We do tend to take ourselves with us where ever we go, eh? Funny how that works. But I sure do like not getting snail mail everyday....loads of it. To be transient now is more common than ever. That vagabond nature is not available to most in the world, by choice anyway. Choice is fortunate. Reasons to come and go are as varied as those among us. What a ride.
 
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bachata

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Aug 18, 2007
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Try closing your mouths and opening your mind while learning a thing or two. I assure you, you will be just fine!

Or you will become an indigenous too.
Dominican slang:
EL QUE ANDA CON COJO AL A?O COGEA

JJ
 

RacerX

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Well, I dont know. I left myself in NY real fine. I think people expectations make them leave. I wouldnt say go back because people have different needs at different times. I never expected this place to be like Xanadu. I knew what it was and why I was here. It just so happened that it is humanitarian, but I found a way to add a selfish twist to it. And there's the cure. Dont expect it to be all one way. It isnt all cookies and no croutons. Dont think you re walking into a Jimmy Buffet record.
 

Lambada

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Maybe not a Jimmy Buffet record but there is a certain..........deja vu :cheeky: Didn't the OP post similar questions 3 years ago when he had a slightly different handle? ;). Perhaps they weren't answered fully enough then?
 

Bob K

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Aug 16, 2004
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Some that i have seen "not make it" came with problems (personal and relationship wise) or excess baggage and the problems did not go away when they got here. Others "retired" here and for the first time spent 24/7 with thier spouse and it was not all it was cracked up to be.
We came to "retire" but after 6 months or so go bored so we went to work here. Have not looked back for a nanosecond.

Bob K
 

oldschool

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Oct 9, 2004
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Dont think you re walking into a Jimmy Buffet record.

Tread carefully my friend I am Saint Oldschool

Patron Saint for those who try to slander Jimmy Buffet. Believe me he knows it isn't all Cheeseburgers and Paradise.

:smoke:
O.S.
 

wimbleton

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People repeat history ,history does not repeat

The long and the short of it ,maybe the sky is blue ,and trips newcomers easily that for get commonsense , that to make it here there is a wealth of knowledge to learn in many categories that ,learned in your home country may be completely if you want a satisfactory resulthere .For example to be kind ,in your own country ,almost 99 percent of the time ,cars or motorcycles have lights that work .Here the road is abundant with cars,motorcycles,on a regular basis at night with no lights driving down the road ,and at a incredible speed to boot.If you dont find this out and take extraordinary care you could be in jail ,because you ran into them ,even if its the other way around ....There are many idiosyncrasies like these ,and much different cultural differences that you must find out and incorporate into your way of being to reduce problems,harmonizing with the environment here.The fact that you are in the middle of the ocean ,with blue skies,much of the year as opposed to your original country that has grey,listless , unappetizing weather maybe,should make all of aware that paradise comes with a price !A undisciplined offspring can cost parents their entire savings if they arent prudent to ensure their kids take the high road here. Experience can be overated ,but not here:squareeye:surprised
 
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mountainannie

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For me, although I think that I have adapted pretty well, the main part is that I really underestimated how much I would miss my friends and family. There is a new baby in the family and I really want to watch him grow up.......That would be what would take me back to the "mainland" if I go.
 

RUBIO4U

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LOL, I'm smiling as I type this. I am sitting in a cafe, having a cup of good Dominican coffee talking (in Spanish) to one of my favorite waiters. Eh, the weather is not so good, but then I think about what it is up north and smile again. I drove very slowly here today, I'm retired and in no hurry. LOL, again, sorry. I was passed by two ex-pats or tourists (I am not sure). Flying down the road waving their arms and yelling. Where are they going? I soon passed one of them, not too far down the street. He was going nowhere I am sure, but I am sure he thought so. I am reading the posts here and appreciate them, because most are right on the money. Slow down, leave your problem behind and enjoy! If you can't then you will not be happy here, just as you most probably weren't wherever it was you came from! PEACE.
 
?

? bient?t

Guest
LOL, I'm smiling as I type this. I am sitting in a cafe, having a cup of good Dominican coffee talking (in Spanish) to one of my favorite waiters. Eh, the weather is not so good, but then I think about what it is up north and smile again. I drove very slowly here today, I'm retired and in no hurry. LOL, again, sorry. I was passed by two ex-pats or tourists (I am not sure). Flying down the road waving their arms and yelling. Where are they going? I soon passed one of them, not too far down the street. He was going nowhere I am sure, but I am sure he thought so. I am reading the posts here and appreciate them, because most are right on the money. Slow down, leave your problem behind and enjoy! If you can't then you will not be happy here, just as you most probably weren't wherever it was you came from! PEACE.

Good lyrics, my friend.
 

dv8

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i think there are generally two reasons why people leave:
1. failure - those who failed in business or relationship often decide to go back home unable to face DR reality - some may laugh at their lack of insight and common sense.
2. crime - some of those who fall victims of brutal crime, have their house burglarized, family member killed, land in prison because of false (or not) accusations, yes, they will also leave.
 
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Why I left...

I lived from May 2005 to June 2006 in first, Juan Dolio and then moved to La Isabelita. Things were fine, I was opening a business, the kids all in private school, happy with dominican family, etc....

We decided to leave after a taxi driver was murdered outside the front gate of our home. That was it for us, we were gone within 10 days. The risk was just too high. (only three blocks from the police, and the poor taxi guys car was stripped and he lay in the road next to the dismantled car).


I somewhat regret that decision, and am looking forward to going back, but at the time, it seemed like the safe thing to do. I miss my family, but between the violence and corruption, I am worred that the DR is too far gone to recover. Who knows, only time will tell.
 

bachata

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I lived from May 2005 to June 2006 in first, Juan Dolio and then moved to La Isabelita. Things were fine, I was opening a business, the kids all in private school, happy with dominican family, etc....

We decided to leave after a taxi driver was murdered outside the front gate of our home. That was it for us, we were gone within 10 days. The risk was just too high. (only three blocks from the police, and the poor taxi guys car was stripped and he lay in the road next to the dismantled car).


I somewhat regret that decision, and am looking forward to going back, but at the time, it seemed like the safe thing to do. I miss my family, but between the violence and corruption, I am worred that the DR is too far gone to recover. Who knows, only time will tell.

Where did you move to be Attacked_by_a_Monkey? Man you are not lucky at all.
Si naciste pa' martillo del cielo te caen los clavos.

Jeje

JJ