Inspired by Cabarete Diaries, I'm posting selected entries from my blog about my life and times here and there.
This one is from August 4th of this year.
Wherein My Son Buys Me a Taser
Posted on August 4, 2015 by meemselle
%Taser-Stun-gun-300x200
The title is not a mistake. It happened. It really happened. And mine is bigger.
Here I am at Caf? Valentino with Beloved Son and Beloved Son?s roommate. We had had a horrible beach day in Sosewage?no umbrellas at Playa Alicia (a must for the red-headed set) and then very crowded Playa Sos?a because of scheduled nighttime concert of huge old Dominican singing star, Fernando Villanova. I confess: I had no clue. I have a lot to learn about being Dominican.
So no umbrellas at Alicia, and then no space with my usual beach guy Roberto. So he sends us to his brother at the very,very,very Batey start of the beach where they anchor the boats and the swimming is awful. But by now, Beloved Son and Best Friend of Beloved Son have discovered pi?a coladas made in the pineapple. So this demands attention.
Yadda, yadda, off we go. We head for Caf? Valentino in search of ? I swear ? cigars. The Boychiks do indeed find cigars.
However, as we are reposing there, ?sun-tanned, windblown?* a vendor man approaches. Beloved Son is sitting curbside. Vendor-man flicks open 5-inch blade and says to Beloved Son: ?Do you wanna buy a knife??
Incredible marketing. Blade pointed to solar plexus. Darling Son is nothing if not resourceful, and manages to inquire: ?Anything else??
So Dominican vendor-man pulls out a personal sized, hand-held, rechargeable effing Taser. For RD$800 (US$20). He demonstrates; but only into air. It makes a very scary noise. A sort of Republican noise. Beloved Son instantly tosses $800 onto table and voila! I, his demure Jewish mother, am the owner of an expletive deleted Taser.
This, Gentle Readers, is a conundrum.
Those who know me (and who are members of my family because I know you are my only followers) know that I am anti-gun beyond anti-gun. When Beloved Son was small and would get invitations for play-dates. I was, yes, that mother who said, ?Do you have guns in your house?? There was a horrible gun-related tragedy directly affecting one sister when she was just a child, and I can never forgive or forget.
I know that there are even Democrats, and I know some, who can make the case for responsible gun ownership. I accept that. Proper training. Proper licensing. Complete understanding of need to use.
I still don?t get it.
Here?s just a snapshot of what guns & ?Murrica mean to each other:
http://www.thenation.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/GunsGR615px2.jpg
I am anti-gun. To the core. I have also read and studied the US Constitution and guess what? Disagree with the NRA about interpretation of the Second Amendment. Particularly in the 21st Century.
So what happened at Valentino?s?
My 20-year old son bought me a Taser. Not legal on about 6 levels in US. The demonstration was very dramatic. Nothing has been tazed. I do admit that I love the flashlight feature.
But it?s sort of like Pilot Sully Sullivan?s landing in the Hudson. You can?t really practice. What if a friend/family member you practice on has some undiagnosed heart condition (think Len Bias) and you give them a friendly practice zap and they die? Would never do to dogs. Not fond of the cat, but do not wish to incur even further disdain from the feline quotient.
So practice on myself? Physical courage is not one of my strong suits.
I thought maybe on a lizard, but Beloved Son says the lizard would explode and I have no desire to see that. Inside out gekko? No thank you.
So: the Taser. Lovely birthday gift (?Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I?m 64??) I do freely admit I have never received anything like it.
Is it a good idea? Probably. If danger presents itself, will I think to use it? Probably not. If I think to use it, will it be turned against me? Chances, I think, are high for this scenario.
So how does a demure Jewish matron born and reared in a small town in Massachusetts, who came of age in hippie-Boston of the 1970s and free-wheeling New York City of the late 70s-80s, fiercely feminist, so leftist that if on the rare occasion I don?t like the Democrat I vote for the Communist (I did so love Angela Davis?s hair and you know how much I j?adore Jessica Mitford) come to have possession of a personal Taser in my handbag? (Mid-sized embroidered black and red Liz Claiborne?lovely scarlet interior lining).
First of all, it was just funny that the salesman flicked open a switchblade as the opening to his sales pitch. How does one say no after that? ?Do you want to buy a knife?? ?Ummm, no? So what else do you have?? ?Aha. A Taser. For my mother. Please, sir. Put away the knife.?
So for $800 pesos?and to make the salesman go away without stabbing us or tazing us, I have received my 64th birthday present from my equally pinko-Commie-liberal son.
This is just bizarre.
It?s in my Liz Claiborne bag. Will I ever have it in my hand? I don?t know. If I did, will I have the presence of mind to use it? I don?t know.
So I guess this is the difference between Republicans and Democrats. They know. I don?t.
*Purely for pleasure: my parents? most favorite love song. One of mine, too. Grace sings!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ1ZLiyGrE0
This one is from August 4th of this year.
Wherein My Son Buys Me a Taser
Posted on August 4, 2015 by meemselle
%Taser-Stun-gun-300x200
The title is not a mistake. It happened. It really happened. And mine is bigger.
Here I am at Caf? Valentino with Beloved Son and Beloved Son?s roommate. We had had a horrible beach day in Sosewage?no umbrellas at Playa Alicia (a must for the red-headed set) and then very crowded Playa Sos?a because of scheduled nighttime concert of huge old Dominican singing star, Fernando Villanova. I confess: I had no clue. I have a lot to learn about being Dominican.
So no umbrellas at Alicia, and then no space with my usual beach guy Roberto. So he sends us to his brother at the very,very,very Batey start of the beach where they anchor the boats and the swimming is awful. But by now, Beloved Son and Best Friend of Beloved Son have discovered pi?a coladas made in the pineapple. So this demands attention.
Yadda, yadda, off we go. We head for Caf? Valentino in search of ? I swear ? cigars. The Boychiks do indeed find cigars.
However, as we are reposing there, ?sun-tanned, windblown?* a vendor man approaches. Beloved Son is sitting curbside. Vendor-man flicks open 5-inch blade and says to Beloved Son: ?Do you wanna buy a knife??
Incredible marketing. Blade pointed to solar plexus. Darling Son is nothing if not resourceful, and manages to inquire: ?Anything else??
So Dominican vendor-man pulls out a personal sized, hand-held, rechargeable effing Taser. For RD$800 (US$20). He demonstrates; but only into air. It makes a very scary noise. A sort of Republican noise. Beloved Son instantly tosses $800 onto table and voila! I, his demure Jewish mother, am the owner of an expletive deleted Taser.
This, Gentle Readers, is a conundrum.
Those who know me (and who are members of my family because I know you are my only followers) know that I am anti-gun beyond anti-gun. When Beloved Son was small and would get invitations for play-dates. I was, yes, that mother who said, ?Do you have guns in your house?? There was a horrible gun-related tragedy directly affecting one sister when she was just a child, and I can never forgive or forget.
I know that there are even Democrats, and I know some, who can make the case for responsible gun ownership. I accept that. Proper training. Proper licensing. Complete understanding of need to use.
I still don?t get it.
Here?s just a snapshot of what guns & ?Murrica mean to each other:
http://www.thenation.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/GunsGR615px2.jpg
I am anti-gun. To the core. I have also read and studied the US Constitution and guess what? Disagree with the NRA about interpretation of the Second Amendment. Particularly in the 21st Century.
So what happened at Valentino?s?
My 20-year old son bought me a Taser. Not legal on about 6 levels in US. The demonstration was very dramatic. Nothing has been tazed. I do admit that I love the flashlight feature.
But it?s sort of like Pilot Sully Sullivan?s landing in the Hudson. You can?t really practice. What if a friend/family member you practice on has some undiagnosed heart condition (think Len Bias) and you give them a friendly practice zap and they die? Would never do to dogs. Not fond of the cat, but do not wish to incur even further disdain from the feline quotient.
So practice on myself? Physical courage is not one of my strong suits.
I thought maybe on a lizard, but Beloved Son says the lizard would explode and I have no desire to see that. Inside out gekko? No thank you.
So: the Taser. Lovely birthday gift (?Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I?m 64??) I do freely admit I have never received anything like it.
Is it a good idea? Probably. If danger presents itself, will I think to use it? Probably not. If I think to use it, will it be turned against me? Chances, I think, are high for this scenario.
So how does a demure Jewish matron born and reared in a small town in Massachusetts, who came of age in hippie-Boston of the 1970s and free-wheeling New York City of the late 70s-80s, fiercely feminist, so leftist that if on the rare occasion I don?t like the Democrat I vote for the Communist (I did so love Angela Davis?s hair and you know how much I j?adore Jessica Mitford) come to have possession of a personal Taser in my handbag? (Mid-sized embroidered black and red Liz Claiborne?lovely scarlet interior lining).
First of all, it was just funny that the salesman flicked open a switchblade as the opening to his sales pitch. How does one say no after that? ?Do you want to buy a knife?? ?Ummm, no? So what else do you have?? ?Aha. A Taser. For my mother. Please, sir. Put away the knife.?
So for $800 pesos?and to make the salesman go away without stabbing us or tazing us, I have received my 64th birthday present from my equally pinko-Commie-liberal son.
This is just bizarre.
It?s in my Liz Claiborne bag. Will I ever have it in my hand? I don?t know. If I did, will I have the presence of mind to use it? I don?t know.
So I guess this is the difference between Republicans and Democrats. They know. I don?t.
*Purely for pleasure: my parents? most favorite love song. One of mine, too. Grace sings!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ1ZLiyGrE0