Am I being duped again..????

[Lucille]

thanks to all for the support.. I know ( yet again) what I must do- cut the ties altogether.... but I still worry about one thing.. I am paying for the rent on their house.. I pay 2500 pesos a month for the house- in la Caleta.. they were living in a shack with 6 people- I felt I needed to do something... now I really need to stop but don;t know how.. I paid three minths updront a year last August , one to lawyer, two for security. Should I just tell him he has two months to look for a new place.? I tried to do this last time but they threw the kids at me again and I just couldn;t do it.. I am weak as you all by now have guessed......

amstellite: IMO
When we make mistakes we have to pay for them, either with money or tears (or both) in your case is with $cash...
If you care for them (Kids) get out of their lifes slowly ...(little by little)
1-Do not send money for Juanito's illness...(No-No_No)
2-Prepare them, so they know you won't pay the rent anymore. (give enough time for them to get a new place) because you are responsible for the actual place and you are the one who took them out of the shack.
3- and a sweet way, explain that you are not "Rockefeller" and you have your own bills to pay.
Good luck.

 

[Chip]

thanks to all for the support.. I know ( yet again) what I must do- cut the ties altogether.... but I still worry about one thing.. I am paying for the rent on their house.. I pay 2500 pesos a month for the house- in la Caleta.. they were living in a shack with 6 people- I felt I needed to do something... now I really need to stop but don;t know how.. I paid three minths updront a year last August , one to lawyer, two for security. Should I just tell him he has two months to look for a new place.? I tried to do this last time but they threw the kids at me again and I just couldn;t do it.. I am weak as you all by now have guessed......

Just keep on paying the house and nothing else.

 

[Chirimoya]

That's what I'd be inclined to do, but the drawback is that he won't have severed contact. Juan knows full well that he will always have a hold on the OP as long as this avenue remains open.

 

[Anastacio]

Where in la caleta do they live, I know it very well, all my Dominican side of family live there and they own a few extra homes also. You can get independent homes in la caleta for 3000pesos per month, decent ones by some comparisons. We had a 3 bedroomed house there for a while and only paid 3500 pesos, no lecy or water costs, fully ironed, garden, but it is a rough area to live.
You must be paying for everyone and they are taking rent from the other 6 ?
Pretty shifty in itself.

Forget the kids, they aren't yours and will be absolutely fine. Toughen up, tell him to use the months deposit on rent while they look for another place. If he hadn't lied to me then I may have been inclined to continue with rent, but he doesn't respect you, even though you have done so much, so screw him. Write one last message telling him you can't do any more, I promise you one he sees the free ride is over he will hurl abuse at you, give you the chance to see what he really thinks.
Like I said. Chin up, move on!!

 

[cobraboy]

If he hadn't lied to me then I may have been inclined to continue with rent, but he doesn't respect you, even though you have done so much, so screw him. Write one last message telling him you can't do any more, I promise you one he sees the free ride is over he will hurl abuse at you, give you the chance to see what he really thinks.
Like I said. Chin up, move on!!

I can 100% appreciate where you're coming from, Anas...

 

[the gorgon]

sat in a restaurant last saturday, and this lady bounds over to my table, asking for money. her kids are home alone, and hungry. so, i inform her that this is a restaurant, so i will just call over the waitress and place an order for takeout, so she can feed them. she left just as quickly as she arrived.

 

[Lando calrisian]

Awwww poor kids, they probably will never live in such a nice place again. You could pay half the rent and encourage him to actually work for the other half. Naahhhh it ain't gonna work, Juan is a scumbag and he hates working and work hates him, so he will probably drink the money and give the rest to his putas!
You can go Trujillo on his behind and send him flowers and write "dime cuando te van a enterar lambonaso". You can also write, yo te iba seguir pagando la casa tu maldita m**, pero por tratar de cogerme de pendejo ahora no te voy a dar na. Muerete y no coma ma sal mamao y ponte a correr pa bajar la grasa azaroso.

 

[Anastacio]

We all deal with freeloaders every day, beit here or in our native lands, the only differences are here we have a choice. In our native land the freeloaders live stealthlike under the protection of our government, we are forced to help out, even those abusing our taxes to the extreme. Here it is much more personal and anything but stealthlike, in your face outright freeloading, conmen and plain lazy ass mo fo's.
Part of my reason for leaving the UK was my income being cut to help those I don't wish to help. It is all about choice, at least we have that here!

I will help anyone I can if I see a genuine need and level of respect, I detest people of this nature though, nasty little rat people, don't deserve anything more than they have.

 

[Expat-in-Cabarete]

I had an interesting experience once coming back to Cabarete from Santo Domingo in Caribe Tours. Several passengers, young men and women, who weren't traveling together started chatting and exchanging tips on how to get in touch with their foreign "friends" and what was the best line to get them to send them money (from my grandmother died--need money for the funeral, to my daughter is very sick at the hospital, kids need school supplies even when they had no kids, so forth and so on). I can't tell you the words they used to refer to their victims. How sad!

 

[El Tigre]

Amstell,

What a freaken' night mare you have. If I were you I would call/write telling them that you can pay for only a few more months (3 tops) and cut ALL TIES period!!!! You have to stop this man!!! NO BUENO!!!!!!

I've been duped by my own family down there. I had to learn the hard way...other family members would warn me about certain cousins and I never paid attention. But like I said...I learned the hard way and lost a lot of money. Now I have that experience to serve me as an example. Cut the ties and run!

 

[amstellite]

that really sucks

 

[AZB]

When he stops sending them money, watch how fast they will lose interest in his friendship.
AZB

 

[RacerX]

Forget the kids, they aren't yours and will be absolutely fine.

Write one last message telling him you can't do any more, I promise you one he sees the free ride is over he will hurl abuse at you, give you the chance to see what he really thinks.

There you have it kid. Dont send a dime, and since you re going down there in 10 days you should take a page out of my book and make some demands in exchange for your money. You re the paying the piper so its time for Juan, Juana to do the dance...if you catch my drift.

He couldnt do it to me man because I d be so blatantly overbearing that I would have that dude pimping his mom, his wife and 2 sisters for the rent money.

 

[willieg]

Being a Dominican myself, i know exactly how my people are. Give them an inch and they will take several miles. I love to help my people too but I now know when i'm being scammed. Tell him you lost your job and have spent your savings. Ask him if maybe he knows anybody that can get you a job in your city. Apologize that you cant even afford email or phone anymore tell him to have a nice life "Live long and prosper..."

 

[ExtremeR]

Being a Dominican myself, i know exactly how my people are. Give them an inch and they will take several miles. I love to help my people too but I now know when i'm being scammed. Tell him you lost your job and have spent your savings. Ask him if maybe he knows anybody that can get you a job in your city. Apologize that you cant even afford email or phone anymore tell him to have a nice life "Live long and prosper..."

Exactly, when I do help, I know I may be tried to be taken for a mile, not because of that I stop helping, but I also put a very clear line to them and they cannot cross them or else.

 

[amstellite]

Racer you crack me up- beers on me if I ever get o meet you in the DR!!!

 

[amstellite]

I was once told by a Domincan that all white people( and that's not being racist) are considered rich Americansby Dominicans on the island, but that person could easily be from Armenia.. if you are white, no matter where you're from- you're a rich white American and iyou are fodder to be cheated..

 

[RacerX]

It has nothing to do with being white, it is ALL EXTRANJEROS are considered to be rich. The fare for a flight from NY is above the monthly wage. There are things I dont understand though. You budget your money and you hear "You must be poorer than me." And it is meant to be an insult because you dont throw money at everything running but its all in how you look at it. Your response should be along the lines "No. YOU cannot afford to do the things I can. I, just dont want to do them." I had a friend from La Vega who went on incessantly about how her father was sick and she needed $100 for some shyt and her sister who lives in NY wont her send her any money. "He aint my father what do you want me to do? If your own sister doesnt believe you then what more do you want from me?" I tell them "I dont want to buy a bottle of wine to meet your family. I dont want to pay you 400 pesos to get a babysitter for 3 hours so we can go out, especially when you have 2 teenage boys."

 

[waytogo]

I was once told by a Domincan that all white people( and that's not being racist) are considered rich Americansby Dominicans on the island, but that person could easily be from Armenia.. if you are white, no matter where you're from- you're a rich white American and you are fodder to be cheated..

We'll, I don't blame them for trying, I would blame myself if they were successful.....

 

[Berzin]

Racer you crack me up- beers on me if I ever get to meet you in the DR!!!

You are obviously familiar with RacerX's posts, which is why you seem enamored by his tales.

But here is your problem in a nutshell. You need to stay away from Dominicans who either are or would attempt to fleece you for money and get with people who will introduce you to Dominicans who have a modicum of decency and shame.

Do RacerX's stories amuse you? Because to me they are not funny. Behind the humor they serve as a cautionary tale of the types NOT to associate with.

If you don't understand this, maybe you should ask your friend Juan for the name of the medication that will relieve his cranium of excess fat, purchase your own dose and proceed to self-medicate.

Juan is in the DR laughing at you. He's been laughing at you, and just from the thread title nothing RacerX tells you in person over a few "frias" is going to make you comprehend this.