Anybody Think It's Funny?

Apr 26, 2002
This article was originally posted in the air travel and general forums, but the travel people took it too seriously, and I got no response at all in the general forum. So I'll try it here. If you follow the irrational exhuberance of the people in the air travel forum and Dominican politics in general, you might find it funny.


World Airline Gazette - June 23, 2002

Sanford, Florida

Pan Am World Airlines announced today that it will begin service between Santo Domingo and the Moon beginning November 22, 2002. Pan Am expects to use the Space Shuttle Columbia, recently acquired from the Air and Space Museum, for this flight. The anticipated flight schedule will be:

Depart SDQ 0600 --- Arrive Moon 1840 +3 days

Depart Moon 2030 --- Arrive SDQ 0340 + 3 days

"Unlike other airlines that have cut back, we will be providing real meal service on this flight," announced Pan Am CEO and Chief Pilot A. Rich Mellon.

"Though the Space Shuttle Columbia is a little old, and parts are a little hard to come by, we just acquired twenty-five 1970's era 727-200s to use for parts, and a spot welder. That should do the trick," continued Mellon.

Pan Am has announced its intentions to serve 87 destinations from its new Santo Domingo hub. From 1998 to the present, the North American version of the airline has flown to over ten destinations in the United States, but never to the same destination for more than two weeks. "We like to keep the airports and the passengers on their toes," explained Mellon, who continued, "besides, our route structure and business plans don't need to make sense just as long as they let me continue to fly the plane."

Though Space Shuttle type aircraft dating from the 1970s are known to burn even more fuel per revenue passenger mile than 727-200s, Mellon notes that "fares will be competitive because we'll be the only Dominican flag carrier going to the Moon, at least for a while."

President Hipolito Mejia of the Dominican Republic welcomed the announcement of service to the Moon, pledging to be a passenger on the inaugural flight. "I'll be on that flight to the Moon," said Mejia, "if they can schedule it between my exceedingly important government missions to Cannes and Las Vegas."

Mejia also mentioned that the Dominican Government might purchase Space Shuttles of its own from Ukraine. "I'm working a $RD10,000,000,000 loan from First USA Bank right now, which I fully expect the Senate to approve," explained the Dominican President.

"This announcement of service to the Moon brings the Dominican Republic to the forefront of science and technology," continued Mejia, whose comments were cut off abruptly by a power failure at the National Palace.

When asked for comment, opposition leader Leonel Fernandez was quoted as saying, "C_nyo, more Pan Am mi_rda! That rich Mellon kid has never flown to any airport for more than two weeks. But, if the flight to the Moon does really depart, I will look forward to seeing President Mejia on it."


Jan 14, 2002
I think that it is silly and YES I believe you have some sort of Axe to grind albeit don't know why.

This silly post belonged here or in the Garbage bin simply because it is just a figment of your imagination.

To respond to your other silly post, even if American puts them out of business it is still good for the DR. It will heighten awareness of the DR with more planes going there and more promotion by Airlines since the DR Government in their wisdom doesn't feel it necessary for them to self promote. Every American flight I have been on has been full after 9/11 and I have been bumped 3x in about 7 trips. I want more flights, I want more tourists, I want a price war to try and put everyone out of business so that there are LOWER prices and the DR DOES become a destination. I believe that once people discover the DR they will come back even if it is on a charter.

Don't let Pibs (who is a bright women) comment encourage you out of her hatred for the president.

Just my 2 cents.