- Thread starter NALs
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Are DR1ers perverts or is love blind to age difference?
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I will say something on this topic. You have to live here for a while in order to understand that women often prefer a much older man. That is because there is a better chance of him being faithful, of being sincere about creating a family. He has sown his oats or much of them. He is more likely to have something financial to offer. And money is always an issue in a relationship. Doesn't matter where you are at. Girls are everywhere here and every year the new batch walks out into the light of day. Will the older man continue to see other women? Maybe. But the odds are decreased. After you have lived here for a while the girls become like parking meters...their are many on every street. You don't notice them or pay attention. Women like Gringos not always for the ticket to another world...but because Gringos are considered to take the family more serious. Always true? No. But that is the perception. These women want a good man that they can start a family with. These young women are calculating the odds. That is why you get the following stream of question in the following order....
1. Are you married...........YES........odds decrease.
2. Is she here or in the USA........HERE.........odds decrease
3. Is she Dominican.........YES.........odds decrease
4. Do you have children........YES......odds decrease
5. How many.............ONE..........hmmm still possible
TWO.........Impossible.
she is trying to determine if she has a shot at being your second wife or even possibly taking you away from your first wife all together. I don't know how many times I have heard Dominican women say that Dominican men all have many girlfriends and they cannot be trusted. Again it is an exaggeration but it is the general perception.
A young girl may have young boyfriends but she is also keeping a sharp eye out for an older gentleman who may be a good catch. And that is true across the socioeconomic spectrum. Well that is what I seem to find.
Now...really what is the big deal. If she is happy and he is happy...so what. Let it go. I sort of like the idea that she wants an older man for a sincere committment to a family. versus in other places where the relationship is often not thought out and based on emotion and fantasy. Thus it falls apart often. Of course that can be debated also for I have met scores of women who claim to be divorced here.
The problem with the poll question is that it is leading. It insinuates that something is wrong with expats who come here and marry a much younger person...just by the very act of asking the question. It is a topic that is very misunderstood by most new to the country from the world north and northeast. Your rules don't apply here. You live all your life in one part of the world and you spell God GOD........you go to another part of the world and they spell God SATIN........shocking? Now Nals is not the culprit. We all know Nals is much to intelligent for that.
1. Are you married...........YES........odds decrease.
2. Is she here or in the USA........HERE.........odds decrease
3. Is she Dominican.........YES.........odds decrease
4. Do you have children........YES......odds decrease
5. How many.............ONE..........hmmm still possible
TWO.........Impossible.
she is trying to determine if she has a shot at being your second wife or even possibly taking you away from your first wife all together. I don't know how many times I have heard Dominican women say that Dominican men all have many girlfriends and they cannot be trusted. Again it is an exaggeration but it is the general perception.
A young girl may have young boyfriends but she is also keeping a sharp eye out for an older gentleman who may be a good catch. And that is true across the socioeconomic spectrum. Well that is what I seem to find.
Now...really what is the big deal. If she is happy and he is happy...so what. Let it go. I sort of like the idea that she wants an older man for a sincere committment to a family. versus in other places where the relationship is often not thought out and based on emotion and fantasy. Thus it falls apart often. Of course that can be debated also for I have met scores of women who claim to be divorced here.
The problem with the poll question is that it is leading. It insinuates that something is wrong with expats who come here and marry a much younger person...just by the very act of asking the question. It is a topic that is very misunderstood by most new to the country from the world north and northeast. Your rules don't apply here. You live all your life in one part of the world and you spell God GOD........you go to another part of the world and they spell God SATIN........shocking? Now Nals is not the culprit. We all know Nals is much to intelligent for that.
ufff!
i swear, for a moment i thought that your wife is 13 years old! :ermm:
THIS does not happen, does it?
btw what is a legal age for marriage in DR?
i swear, for a moment i thought that your wife is 13 years old! :ermm:
THIS does not happen, does it?
btw what is a legal age for marriage in DR?
Nicely put,
It appears that Dominican women are looking for security and a better way of life. It makes sense that they seek older more established mates, who know what they want and are more stable. Dominican men do have a bad reputation for cheating and abusing their wives.
I must say, this is a very well thought out response. I was one of the ones who thought that maybe these men are just trying to get what they lacked at home and maybe were a little perverted (of course I would not express this to anyone out loud because I am of the thought that people can do whatever they want to do since it's their life), but this gave me a nice new perspective on the issue. I see it a little different now and do agree that the question is a leading question.
Clarification attempt...
People, read the following carefully so you can fully understand how this poll came to be:
1. I knew how controversial such a poll would be on DR1. This was the reason why I REFUSED TO POST THE POLL when Vince1956 originally asked me to post his question as a poll back in OCTOBER. However, after a few weeks, he PM'ed me once again asking me the exact same question and asking me if I could post his poll.
Now, to be fair, the way I rejected his initial inquiry by not responding to his first PM. I could not find the correct words in telling him that I will not post his poll for xyz reasons since I have never objected anyone else's desire for a poll that may interest them. When he contact me the second time, I decided to offer him a modified version of his original question (which, would have been much more controversial than this one, keep reading to find out why). He accepted the question and the answers I suggested and voila, the poll was created.
I created the title, everything else was agreed by Vince1956. All in all, I consider this poll a success because each part worked as expected. The title attracted enough attention for a rapid increase in vote participation, views, and responses. Of course, some people find it funny and others are offended, but that is the nature of these types of things, particularly concerning this topic.
2. The original question was "What DR1ers married a young Dominican lady". Now, I considered that question to be extremely offensive to some people, because it implied several things.
A) The question was geared towards DR1 males.
B) It was even more geared towards DR1 males who married young ladies.
C) It would have offended pretty much everyone who has been offended with the current version of the poll.
3. In order to make the poll more potentially inclusive of various DR1ers, I proposed the modification of asking the age difference between a DR1er and his/her spouse. Why did I did this?
A) The question will apply equally to both, DR1 males and females.
B) Since the answers varies from less than 10 years difference to over 50 years, this version of the poll did not focused in on the older guy dating a young lady dilemma. Despite this, criticisms focuses almost exclusively on that dilemma which this poll was meant to prevent. Despite the fact that nowhere in the title or question has there been an implication that the question was geared to males - but all the critics are taking it as if it was geared towards males who date young ladies. I find it interesting that people immediately picture an older guy with a younger lady the moment they read the word "pervert", why is it not the other way around? And why is it that only some DR1 males are the one's feeling insulted at something that they really created in their minds, because nowhere in the poll title/question has there been a sexus bias towards any of the two sex.
4. The title did it's job, it attracted enough people so that the poll could get a quick start in receiving relatively large amounts of voters (compared to other polls during similar time spans). HOWEVER, it caused such an emotional unsettling in some members, which I expected for it to be modified by the way the title ends, but it surprised me how some members were bothered so much by the word "pervert" that it appears many responded without even finishing reading the title or without putting much attention to anything that lied past the word "pervert".
Even more surprising was the instant misguided assumption that this poll was geared towards older men dating younger women, which it was not. It was geared towards all DR1 members (men and women) with any age difference between themselves and their spouses (from less than 10 years to over 50 years difference), and this poll (like all of them) is completely optional. People don't have to vote if they want to.
5. Because I perceived a certain level of criticism from this type of poll, I made this the very first poll with a time limit. The poll will automatically close on the date chosen when I created the poll. It's an option that is available and the poll will close on that date regardless who votes, regardless if I log on or not on that day, regardless of anything.
This is, in fact, the only poll thus far that I have incorporated this feature precisely due to the expected criticisms, although the actual criticisms exceeded expectations.
Ony two other polls have been closed, and both were closed by ME in order to put an end to the circle of criticisms which overan such polls. This one I will not close manually, because it will close on its own.
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One thing this poll has revealed to me is how people have preconceived notions which fall right along gender lines regarding what it could me meant by a simple question. In this case, what surprised me the most was that many people (particularly many of the critics) jump to the conclusion that this thread was meant to demonize older men dating young women, when the reality is that the thread's title or poll question never made a clear preference for either males or females or for couples who have an age difference that is minor to those who may be greater.
What the title did convey was the two attitudes that cling to such subject such as this, but nothing about who could be consider what if they were the older male or older female in a relationship. In fact, that is beyond the scope of this thread and some people have missed the point completely.
And once again, this and all polls are completely voluntary. No one is being forced to read this, nor to vote, nor to post a comment.
-NALs
People, read the following carefully so you can fully understand how this poll came to be:
1. I knew how controversial such a poll would be on DR1. This was the reason why I REFUSED TO POST THE POLL when Vince1956 originally asked me to post his question as a poll back in OCTOBER. However, after a few weeks, he PM'ed me once again asking me the exact same question and asking me if I could post his poll.
Now, to be fair, the way I rejected his initial inquiry by not responding to his first PM. I could not find the correct words in telling him that I will not post his poll for xyz reasons since I have never objected anyone else's desire for a poll that may interest them. When he contact me the second time, I decided to offer him a modified version of his original question (which, would have been much more controversial than this one, keep reading to find out why). He accepted the question and the answers I suggested and voila, the poll was created.
I created the title, everything else was agreed by Vince1956. All in all, I consider this poll a success because each part worked as expected. The title attracted enough attention for a rapid increase in vote participation, views, and responses. Of course, some people find it funny and others are offended, but that is the nature of these types of things, particularly concerning this topic.
2. The original question was "What DR1ers married a young Dominican lady". Now, I considered that question to be extremely offensive to some people, because it implied several things.
A) The question was geared towards DR1 males.
B) It was even more geared towards DR1 males who married young ladies.
C) It would have offended pretty much everyone who has been offended with the current version of the poll.
3. In order to make the poll more potentially inclusive of various DR1ers, I proposed the modification of asking the age difference between a DR1er and his/her spouse. Why did I did this?
A) The question will apply equally to both, DR1 males and females.
B) Since the answers varies from less than 10 years difference to over 50 years, this version of the poll did not focused in on the older guy dating a young lady dilemma. Despite this, criticisms focuses almost exclusively on that dilemma which this poll was meant to prevent. Despite the fact that nowhere in the title or question has there been an implication that the question was geared to males - but all the critics are taking it as if it was geared towards males who date young ladies. I find it interesting that people immediately picture an older guy with a younger lady the moment they read the word "pervert", why is it not the other way around? And why is it that only some DR1 males are the one's feeling insulted at something that they really created in their minds, because nowhere in the poll title/question has there been a sexus bias towards any of the two sex.
4. The title did it's job, it attracted enough people so that the poll could get a quick start in receiving relatively large amounts of voters (compared to other polls during similar time spans). HOWEVER, it caused such an emotional unsettling in some members, which I expected for it to be modified by the way the title ends, but it surprised me how some members were bothered so much by the word "pervert" that it appears many responded without even finishing reading the title or without putting much attention to anything that lied past the word "pervert".
Even more surprising was the instant misguided assumption that this poll was geared towards older men dating younger women, which it was not. It was geared towards all DR1 members (men and women) with any age difference between themselves and their spouses (from less than 10 years to over 50 years difference), and this poll (like all of them) is completely optional. People don't have to vote if they want to.
5. Because I perceived a certain level of criticism from this type of poll, I made this the very first poll with a time limit. The poll will automatically close on the date chosen when I created the poll. It's an option that is available and the poll will close on that date regardless who votes, regardless if I log on or not on that day, regardless of anything.
This is, in fact, the only poll thus far that I have incorporated this feature precisely due to the expected criticisms, although the actual criticisms exceeded expectations.
Ony two other polls have been closed, and both were closed by ME in order to put an end to the circle of criticisms which overan such polls. This one I will not close manually, because it will close on its own.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
One thing this poll has revealed to me is how people have preconceived notions which fall right along gender lines regarding what it could me meant by a simple question. In this case, what surprised me the most was that many people (particularly many of the critics) jump to the conclusion that this thread was meant to demonize older men dating young women, when the reality is that the thread's title or poll question never made a clear preference for either males or females or for couples who have an age difference that is minor to those who may be greater.
What the title did convey was the two attitudes that cling to such subject such as this, but nothing about who could be consider what if they were the older male or older female in a relationship. In fact, that is beyond the scope of this thread and some people have missed the point completely.
And once again, this and all polls are completely voluntary. No one is being forced to read this, nor to vote, nor to post a comment.
-NALs
- Status