- Thread starter dv8
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cedula, now you see it , now you don't
We recently got together with an old friend ... he happens to be Polish. This is what he contributed to the conversation ...
A Polish man was walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a Frenchman lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybee I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the Pole, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the Frenchman.
"I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.
After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?"
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybee I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the Pole, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the Frenchman.
"I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.
After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?"
Thats life ha ha take it easy dominican time
#16 01-04-2007, 02:11 PM
dv8
Gold Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 659
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mr holmes, welcome, my complaining buddy!
rocky have made it clear for me that i will never even get used to the life here. thing is, i do not like children, and now i have to live among millions of them, everyday.
it all makes perfect sense.
i fell the need of banging my head on the wall.....
#16 01-04-2007, 02:11 PM
dv8
Gold Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 659
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mr holmes, welcome, my complaining buddy!
rocky have made it clear for me that i will never even get used to the life here. thing is, i do not like children, and now i have to live among millions of them, everyday.
it all makes perfect sense.
i fell the need of banging my head on the wall.....
Mierda y mas...
Try not having a "selective mind" and you will notice that from her very first posts, all she does is bash Dominicans and the Dominican Republic. If you can't see it because you have met her, that's your problem.
I wonder if you would be "Mr Defender" is she was bashing England, or wherever you come from.
Now, let me make something VERY clear to you: This, for me, is NOT a popularity contest, therefore, I don't give a shyt if you or anybody appreciates me.
I am not like SOME (NOTE: SOME) of the morons on this site, that just because they have met a member, that that member can't do NO wrong. Crap, I have met AZB and Charlie and there's no way in hell that I would go to their defense if I see that they are doing/saying something wrong. I would let them "have it" (and I have, MANY times) and much as they would "let me have it" (and they have, MANY times) also. A buttlicker I am not.
Let me get this straight: because you are British and got her "humour" everybody else should get it?, give me a fricking break, this is DR1 senor, get a clue!.
Lambada:
I don't understand English humour because am not English and I don't live in England. I do know it's a beautiful country, hehe.
Am I supposed to be impressed that you have met her, should I care?.
Try not having a "selective mind" and you will notice that from her very first posts, all she does is bash Dominicans and the Dominican Republic. If you can't see it because you have met her, that's your problem.
I wonder if you would be "Mr Defender" is she was bashing England, or wherever you come from.
Now, let me make something VERY clear to you: This, for me, is NOT a popularity contest, therefore, I don't give a shyt if you or anybody appreciates me.
I am not like SOME (NOTE: SOME) of the morons on this site, that just because they have met a member, that that member can't do NO wrong. Crap, I have met AZB and Charlie and there's no way in hell that I would go to their defense if I see that they are doing/saying something wrong. I would let them "have it" (and I have, MANY times) and much as they would "let me have it" (and they have, MANY times) also. A buttlicker I am not.
Let me get this straight: because you are British and got her "humour" everybody else should get it?, give me a fricking break, this is DR1 senor, get a clue!.
Lambada:
I don't understand English humour because am not English and I don't live in England. I do know it's a beautiful country, hehe.
No Chiri, I'm too young :laugh: I think it must be hard for those who don't share the same sense of humour: while you, Bushbaby, Chris and I wipe the tears from our cheeks others will do the predictable & come out flailing.....
The closest I can get to explaining the inexplicable is to suggest they look at Matilda's transformadora or bochinche's one legged beggar. Remember that? That had a whole lot of folks bursting with indignation I seem to recall.Never mind Miguel, you obviously do not see what most other posters are telling you - Dv8 is writing with HUMOUR & not really complaining!! She sees the funny side of things down here & writes about it so we all can have a laugh - Dominicans, Europeans and North Americans with a sense of humour!
Do I take it that the compliment you paid me some weeks ago about trusting what I say & respecting me has now gone out the window?? Oh dear, that's a pity - just when we were getting on so well!
As you often say, this is just a notice board & shouldn't be taken too seriously. Not having met Dv8 you can not know her spirit, sense of fun & character - I have & can commend it to you. So breath easily 'old chap' & let the trousers out a bit. Oh, & YES, we British DO let people make fun of us .... we have sort of gotten used to it over the years because oft times enough, we DESERVE it!! :ermm: (over to YOU Chris for another of your Brit Bashing lines!!).:cheeky:
Have a nice day tomorrow Miuguel! ~ Grahame.
Do I take it that the compliment you paid me some weeks ago about trusting what I say & respecting me has now gone out the window?? Oh dear, that's a pity - just when we were getting on so well!
As you often say, this is just a notice board & shouldn't be taken too seriously. Not having met Dv8 you can not know her spirit, sense of fun & character - I have & can commend it to you. So breath easily 'old chap' & let the trousers out a bit. Oh, & YES, we British DO let people make fun of us .... we have sort of gotten used to it over the years because oft times enough, we DESERVE it!! :ermm: (over to YOU Chris for another of your Brit Bashing lines!!).:cheeky:
Have a nice day tomorrow Miuguel! ~ Grahame.
Of course...
Listen man, you are an old member and what I told you before still stands, but that doesn't mean that whatever you say is the "Gospel". But if you read my previous post, I will tell you exactly how I feel when I feel that you are sticking your nose where it doesn't belong (and throwing some "jabs" at me while at it). Shyt, if I don't have a problem letting AZB, someone whom I truly like, have it, why would I have a problem letting you have it after you let me have it first?.
Please "don't pee on my legs and tell me it's raining", you don't speak for everybody on this site, therefore NO, not everybody with a sense of humour sees the humour in her post.
Again, if it's a joke, which I may add it's not a very funny one (perhaps because I am not English), then it should be sent to the proper Forum.
Ps: Thanks for the "wish" but I can only hope tomorrow is as nice as today was.
Btw: what's the difference between an old nosey Englishman and a very "hansome" American?. Ohh never mind, jejejeje............
Let's just move on with the "joke" at hand.....
Guess what, if she is writing in humour, then this should be sent to the "Clown Bin".Never mind Miguel, you obviously do not see what most other posters are telling you - Dv8 is writing with HUMOUR & not really complaining!! She sees the funny side of things down here & writes about it so we all can have a laugh - Dominicans, Europeans and North Americans with a sense of humour!
Do I take it that the compliment you paid me some weeks ago about trusting what I say & respecting me has now gone out the window?? Oh dear, that's a pity - just when we were getting on so well!
As you often say, this is just a notice board & shouldn't be taken too seriously. Not having met Dv8 you can not know her spirit, sense of fun & character - I have & can commend it to you. So breath easily 'old chap' & let the trousers out a bit. Oh, & YES, we British DO let people make fun of us .... we have sort of gotten used to it over the years because oft times enough, we DESERVE it!! :ermm: (over to YOU Chris for another of your Brit Bashing lines!!).:cheeky:
Have a nice day tomorrow Miuguel! ~ Grahame.
Listen man, you are an old member and what I told you before still stands, but that doesn't mean that whatever you say is the "Gospel". But if you read my previous post, I will tell you exactly how I feel when I feel that you are sticking your nose where it doesn't belong (and throwing some "jabs" at me while at it). Shyt, if I don't have a problem letting AZB, someone whom I truly like, have it, why would I have a problem letting you have it after you let me have it first?.
Please "don't pee on my legs and tell me it's raining", you don't speak for everybody on this site, therefore NO, not everybody with a sense of humour sees the humour in her post.
Again, if it's a joke, which I may add it's not a very funny one (perhaps because I am not English), then it should be sent to the proper Forum.
Ps: Thanks for the "wish" but I can only hope tomorrow is as nice as today was.
Btw: what's the difference between an old nosey Englishman and a very "hansome" American?. Ohh never mind, jejejeje............
Let's just move on with the "joke" at hand.....
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Maybe you should watch a whole series of Fawlty Towers, Keeping up Appearances and Little Britain. British humour 'bashes' Britain more than anything else. I'm sure dv8 would do a great job 'bashing' England, but then, this is dr1.
I understand the Americans don't have a word for 'taking the ****'. Do Dominicans?
Oh, and about moving something to the clown bin if it's humour, British humour is not locked up in jokes and confined moments of humour, but part of every single part of life. well, more or less, getting hoe in time for Eastenders is serious business. If you think of it it's amazing there even is something as a separate clown bin here with Robert running the forum; is he really British?
Right on old chap, bloody funny if I dare say so, oooops, time for a spot of tea.
Now Grahame, did you mean the last part of that as WRITTEN:
Funny to Dominicans,
.....Funny to Europeans,
.......... and Funny to North Americans with a sense of humor?
The responses all even funnier that the original post.......
Don - SantiagoDR
I'm not fluent in British Humour, so please joke slowly!
e?
is that a dv81.com? in that case i found a home away from home!
i am a sweetheart, really, those nicknames given to me by my classmates mothers - "devil's child", "bad seed" - were based on a principle of contrast, i swear! i complain about DR just as much as i complained about UK and before that about polonia. hell, i even complain about god! (there MAY be some truth in the "devil's child" thing after all...).
this thread is headed by a grinning face icon, that should be a clue enough even for all watsons...
cedula, yeah, i am lucky i've got it at all and i feel much better. there is no stopping me from getting a drivers licence now!
a.hildago, thank you for correcting me!
is that a dv81.com? in that case i found a home away from home!
i am a sweetheart, really, those nicknames given to me by my classmates mothers - "devil's child", "bad seed" - were based on a principle of contrast, i swear! i complain about DR just as much as i complained about UK and before that about polonia. hell, i even complain about god! (there MAY be some truth in the "devil's child" thing after all...).
this thread is headed by a grinning face icon, that should be a clue enough even for all watsons...
cedula, yeah, i am lucky i've got it at all and i feel much better. there is no stopping me from getting a drivers licence now!
a.hildago, thank you for correcting me!
Sorry S-DR, can't answer that on this forum as Miguel would insist upon it having to be transfered to the Clown Bin. Let us just say 'that you pays your money & you takes your choice"!!
The response however, might have been almost as humorous as your question - Well done on picking up the subtlety (&/or Satire)!! ~ Grahame
The response however, might have been almost as humorous as your question - Well done on picking up the subtlety (&/or Satire)!! ~ Grahame
If you have a good lawyer then he will be able to pick it up for you, my company lawyer even renews my Residency without problem. Remember that if you have the Temp residency ... You will need to do the whole process again after one year.
Good luck,
Good luck,
it's international, just like music. either you feel it or you don't,but it hasn't got anything to do with our heritage or the first language!
just mho,
P.
I don't see what the big fuss is, but reading between the lines I can see the positive side of her observation. For instance,
"in SD my abugado picked me up and drove me to the meeting point with puerto rican girl smugglers, or at least something you would have expected from the lowlives hideout that from any government agency." Here she is trying to say that she got first class transportation/security service. She was picked up at the bus station, escorted by an undercover agent posing as a puerto rican smuggler, and hand delivered to government officials for VIP service. You won't get this type of service in the US, unless you were a very important person.
"narrow street with overflowing rubbish bins behind ferreterias and some repuestos garages leads to cement and wood warehouse that looks nothing like any official building and everything like a background from steven segal movies. " Here she is trying to say that the Dominican Government is fiscally responsible. The government is not spending too much money on constructing or leasing a state of art building where a cheaper facility (shack) will do, and on top of that the government is very sensitive to the need of its poor by providing the services right in the under developed areas. In the US, the poors are intimidated by the fast pace of downtowns and town centers that sometimes they forgo getting services from their government.
". snap - the fat woman takes you passport and fills up two sheets of paper, snap - another fat woman (how do they get into the room?) with a tooth braces (betty la fea) takes your pictures, misspells your names, takes a scan of your fingers and gives you few more sheets of paper, snap - thin woman put a few stamps and gives you... a piece of paper." Here what she is trying to say, that despite the DR being a 3rd world country, its people are not starving, they are fat. Also, she is saying that people makes good money here, that they have excess cash for cosmetic items such as braces. Furthermore, she is saying that Dominican fats are physically fit, and more acrobatic. In contrast to the US, where heavy set people wobbles as they walk and if they fall down, it takes two or more people and an ambulance to pick them up
"at this point it turned out they run out of plastic and do cedulas will be released today." Here, she is trying to say that the government is so committed to environmental issues, that public offices have a quota on plastic items. In her case, the office used up their quota on plastic in hope to discourage people from coming back and taking another plastic thing into the fragile environment.
"i get the residence although honest to god i have no idea what i paid 1000 pesos for since i have to go back to SD anyways." Here, she is trying to say, that Dominicans are capitalistic, business oriented individuals, that make a profit even when they are not expected. In this case the office/person made $1000 pesos eventhough there was no production. They give Wall Street the run for their money/COLOR]
"worse still, what was supposed to take "half an hour" took 4" Here, she is trying to say that government personnel are so committed to customer service, that they take it to the next level. They love their clients that they spend extra time nurturing them and making sure they understand everything. They truely love the company of their clients.
"in SD my abugado picked me up and drove me to the meeting point with puerto rican girl smugglers, or at least something you would have expected from the lowlives hideout that from any government agency." Here she is trying to say that she got first class transportation/security service. She was picked up at the bus station, escorted by an undercover agent posing as a puerto rican smuggler, and hand delivered to government officials for VIP service. You won't get this type of service in the US, unless you were a very important person.
"narrow street with overflowing rubbish bins behind ferreterias and some repuestos garages leads to cement and wood warehouse that looks nothing like any official building and everything like a background from steven segal movies. " Here she is trying to say that the Dominican Government is fiscally responsible. The government is not spending too much money on constructing or leasing a state of art building where a cheaper facility (shack) will do, and on top of that the government is very sensitive to the need of its poor by providing the services right in the under developed areas. In the US, the poors are intimidated by the fast pace of downtowns and town centers that sometimes they forgo getting services from their government.
". snap - the fat woman takes you passport and fills up two sheets of paper, snap - another fat woman (how do they get into the room?) with a tooth braces (betty la fea) takes your pictures, misspells your names, takes a scan of your fingers and gives you few more sheets of paper, snap - thin woman put a few stamps and gives you... a piece of paper." Here what she is trying to say, that despite the DR being a 3rd world country, its people are not starving, they are fat. Also, she is saying that people makes good money here, that they have excess cash for cosmetic items such as braces. Furthermore, she is saying that Dominican fats are physically fit, and more acrobatic. In contrast to the US, where heavy set people wobbles as they walk and if they fall down, it takes two or more people and an ambulance to pick them up
"at this point it turned out they run out of plastic and do cedulas will be released today." Here, she is trying to say that the government is so committed to environmental issues, that public offices have a quota on plastic items. In her case, the office used up their quota on plastic in hope to discourage people from coming back and taking another plastic thing into the fragile environment.
"i get the residence although honest to god i have no idea what i paid 1000 pesos for since i have to go back to SD anyways." Here, she is trying to say, that Dominicans are capitalistic, business oriented individuals, that make a profit even when they are not expected. In this case the office/person made $1000 pesos eventhough there was no production. They give Wall Street the run for their money/COLOR]
"worse still, what was supposed to take "half an hour" took 4" Here, she is trying to say that government personnel are so committed to customer service, that they take it to the next level. They love their clients that they spend extra time nurturing them and making sure they understand everything. They truely love the company of their clients.