Who will we get to hold you still during this procedure, Robert..?
It might not be pleasant.
- Thread starter Celt202
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Colonoscopy in Santo Domingo
Who will we get to hold you still during this procedure, Robert..?
It might not be pleasant.
Perhaps. How much did you pay to have yours performed? It seems like they did a good job.
~and if you had to pay for that in CASH in the good ole USA you would have paid a couple of thousand....broken down: Doctors fee, Operating room fee, Operating room tech(s) fees, Anesthsia doctor, Anesthsia tech....cups, saucers plates and yeah don't forget this doesnt include any pathogy in the event they find a polyp of anything that may need to be removed....Agreed with CB as a Freaking BARGAIN at $600.00
Are you aware that you may have a virtual colonoscopy performed without the intrusiveness? I have been informed that the results are as conclusive as a traditional colonoscopy. I may be performed with or without the oral contrast. I have seen the Catscan machine at Cedimat in Santo Domingo.
Was that with or without health insurance?
I should have that procedure done....don't want to, but I am sure they have a morphine drip available
No insurance. Cash. It was a non-event. The nurse put in a saline drip and the anesthesiologist knocked me out. Never knew what happened.
Dave Barry,one of my ATF columnists, describes the experience well...:
Dave Barry said:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, ``HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!''
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called ''MoviPrep,'' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes -- and here I am being kind -- like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, ''a loose watery bowel movement may result.'' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. (CB:How true!)
:After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, ''What if I spurt on Andy?'' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the hell the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was Dancing Queen by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, Dancing Queen has to be the least appropriate.
''You want me to turn it up?'' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.
''Ha ha,'' I said.
And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking "Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine . . .''
. . . and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. (CB: :cheeky: MY experience, except in Espanol...)
But my point is this: In addition to being a pathetic medical weenie, I was a complete moron. For more than a decade I avoided getting a procedure that was, essentially, nothing. There was no pain and, except for the MoviPrep, no discomfort. I was risking my life for nothing.
Oh My !!!! That guy is hilarious...... should be on TV..... what a writer.....
Great start to the day !!!!!!!
Great start to the day !!!!!!!
Cobraboy..you are right on with your experience. Did you get the color-photos like my DR Gave me? Also, when I woke up I had an engagement ring on my finger..haha. When the Dr asked me how it felt I told him to bend over and I would be more than glad to have him experience it first hand. By the way, it looks like our season will start Oct 8th. Either I or Ross will email you with schedule.
LOL! I had a chance to get the full DVD of the Tubular Journey put passed. I was just happy to know I had a "perfect" colon...
I loved the sleep.... need some of that for the afternoon siestaa!!
I passed for the next 10-15 years....
I passed for the next 10-15 years....
I was lucky. I did a colonoscopy at age 40. I was told I did not need it to age 50. At age 40, the docs start doing different things during a physical and I questioned the procedure. They told me that if I wanted to do it, my insurance would pay because younger people were being diagnosed with colon cancer at a younger age than 50. Well I did it and Lord and behold I had too many polyps on my right side of the colon that I needed surgery to have them removed. They removed 2 feet of my colon and 14 lymph nodes. When they did the biopsy, it turned out that a cancer the size of a millimeter was forming already. If it wasn't for the procedure being done at age 40, I would have been dead 2 years later because the doc said the cancer was the aggressive kind. No chemo, no radiation, just follow-ups with the oncologist every six months for tumor markers and to make sure the cancer is completely gone. It has been 5 years already so no more follow ups.
You have been forewarned. Have it done as soon as possible. The worst part is the colon cleansing the day before. That's it!!!!!!
You have been forewarned. Have it done as soon as possible. The worst part is the colon cleansing the day before. That's it!!!!!!
~Thanks for sharing Bronxboy....I've been putting it off way to long...making my appt to go....
~And Cobraboy....What a freakin hilarious version of what is a known Tabooish medical procedure....spit my coffee out through my nose at this part....
"What if I spurt on Andy?'' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough."
~Thanks for the side splitting laughter at 10am....
~And Cobraboy....What a freakin hilarious version of what is a known Tabooish medical procedure....spit my coffee out through my nose at this part....
"What if I spurt on Andy?'' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough."
~Thanks for the side splitting laughter at 10am....
I remember the GI @ HOMS who did my procedure: Dr. Rub?n Russel, #801 in the Professional Bldg. Speaks excellent English.
I recall he's the President of the Dominican GI Society and a ranking professor of medicinein the DR. I thank Hillbilly for the referral. It's odd for a patient to be given a doctors cell # but Dr. Russell does that.
I give both Dr. Russel and HOMS my highest recommendations...
I recall he's the President of the Dominican GI Society and a ranking professor of medicinein the DR. I thank Hillbilly for the referral. It's odd for a patient to be given a doctors cell # but Dr. Russell does that.
I give both Dr. Russel and HOMS my highest recommendations...