Cultural Bedtimes: Why So Late?

[arete92]

This used to not bother me at all ( before I had a son ) in Canada and US kids normally go to bed 7-9 some sooner some later but these are the general culturally accepted times I think.

I don't even really consider this cultural question to be honest because going to bed even as an adult before 12 is objectively healthier but cultural awareness of this issue?

For children under 10 this is even more important so they can develop properly do well in school etc. My son was born in North America and has a minor medical condition where the doctor has advised/stressed the importance of his sleep especially due to his neurological issue which is provoked my stress and lack of sleep.

When we're in the Dominican I hear kids, especially in the Barrios going to bed 12 - 1AM with their parents getting upset. in the good neighborhoods I still hear them up but they're not as loud - I honestly don't care what other parents do it doesn't bug me at all but it becomes an issue when people invite themselves over at social hour which is 9 - 10 pm at night and bring their kids.

Some family members are really understanding and good and bring their families to visit around 6pm or so and others just seem to not care and get really offended if you tell them to come earlier and not late at night when everyone works and needs to sleep.

I always find myself here trying to not offend people as I find they can get offended pretty easy and hold grudges; but everyone is so laid back and acts as if nothing they do affects another person and it's their issue if it does - mentioning something that puts accountability turns out to be a huge cultural no no that I have a hard time with here i.e (you take my bike and run out of gas you need to treat it as your problem, not mine) there are people like this everywhere of course but what I am doing is applying a generalization here based on years of observation and cultural normalities.

I enjoy laid back surprise visits sometimes and the hospitality that comes with them if you're on the receiving end.

So to the original question again, do Dominicans know that kids need extra sleep in order to develop ? perhaps it's the afternoon school classes kids? why not put them to bed early so you have more adult time to yourselves ? the preparation or routine takes 45 mins max. Is this just an employment issue? parents dont have a job receive money from someone and have zero routine?

 

[JD Jones]

This will be a great thread!

 

[reilleyp]

This used to not bother me at all ( before I had a son ) in Canada and US kids normally go to bed 7-9 some sooner some later but these are the general culturally accepted times I think.

I don't even really consider this cultural question to be honest because going to bed even as an adult before 12 is objectively healthier but cultural awareness of this issue?

For children under 10 this is even more important so they can develop properly do well in school etc. My son was born in North America and has a minor medical condition where the doctor has advised/stressed the importance of his sleep especially due to his neurological issue which is provoked my stress and lack of sleep.

When we're in the Dominican I hear kids, especially in the Barrios going to bed 12 - 1AM with their parents getting upset. in the good neighborhoods I still hear them up but they're not as loud - I honestly don't care what other parents do it doesn't bug me at all but it becomes an issue when people invite themselves over at social hour which is 9 - 10 pm at night and bring their kids.

Some family members are really understanding and good and bring their families to visit around 6pm or so and others just seem to not care and get really offended if you tell them to come earlier and not late at night when everyone works and needs to sleep.

I always find myself here trying to not offend people as I find they can get offended pretty easy and hold grudges; but everyone is so laid back and acts as if nothing they do affects another person and it's their issue if it does - mentioning something that puts accountability turns out to be a huge cultural no no that I have a hard time with here i.e (you take my bike and run out of gas you need to treat it as your problem, not mine) there are people like this everywhere of course but what I am doing is applying a generalization here based on years of observation and cultural normalities.

I enjoy laid back surprise visits sometimes and the hospitality that comes with them if you're on the receiving end.

So to the original question again, do Dominicans know that kids need extra sleep in order to develop ? perhaps it's the afternoon school classes kids? why not put them to bed early so you have more adult time to yourselves ? the preparation or routine takes 45 mins max. Is this just an employment issue? parents dont have a job receive money from someone and have zero routine?

Just a few theories;
Maybe they don't go to school full time so they take a nap around noon after lunch and as a result they do not need as much sleep at night?
Do the kids that go to school full time have a long break during the day as well, when they could take a nap?
My construction guys take a two hour lunch and frequently take a nap after eating a gallon of rice.
Maybe that is why they walk to slow, because they are exhausted?

 

[bob saunders]

There are a lot of children that do attend classes only in the afternoon. I am up at 0600 am and out walking and there are lots of Dominicans getting ready for work at this time, and lots of Dominicans put their younger children in bed at nine or ten pm. Our secretary and her family are all in bed before ten pm. In the barrios the kids are almost street kids with very few rules.

 

[CristoRey]

So to the original question again, do Dominicans know that kids need extra sleep in order to develop ? perhaps it's the afternoon school classes kids? why not put them to bed early so you have more adult time to yourselves ? the preparation or routine takes 45 mins max. Is this just an employment issue? parents dont have a job receive money from someone and have zero routine?

I've lived in two barrios since moving down to the DR.
They ran 24hrs a day/ 7 days a week. Sleep, education
and work were never very high up on the list of things
to do tomorrow.

The preparation takes 45 mins max?
This ain't Kansas.
Children are often treated like adults in this country from
a very young age. Parenting skills are almost nonexistent
in most under-privileged neighborhoods across this country
of which there are way too many to count.

My advice would be to keep your feelings and ideas about
how these people parent their children to yourself because
voicing them will almost certainly blow back in your face.
I learned this lesson the hard way over a decade ago.

 

[ramesses]

I've lived in two barrios since moving down to the DR.
They ran 24hrs a day/ 7 days a week. Sleep, education
and work were never very high up on the list of things
to do tomorrow.

The preparation takes 45 mins max?
This ain't Kansas.
Children are often treated like adults in this country from
a very young age. Parenting skills are almost nonexistent
in most under-privileged neighborhoods across this country
of which there are way too many to count.

My advice would be to keep your feelings and ideas about
how these people parent their children to yourself because
voicing them will almost certainly blow back in your face.
I learned this lesson the hard way over a decade ago.

I remember when I would stay with a girlfriend I had in Villa Liberation, it would not be uncommon for kids to just show up at her door at 10 or 11 at night and stay for a few hours. It's not what we are used to. Yes, I never said anything.

 

[Gadfly]

It’s different here. Understatement. Can’t put a round peg in a square hole.

 

[beeza]

I put it down to laziness on the part of the parents. Many Dominican are lousy parents. Many people will disagree and say that they a great parents. But when it involves making a discerned effort on their part to enforce the discipline of going to bed at a proper hour, the parents will follow the path of least resistance and let them auto-dispatch themselves when the kids want to.

This laissez faire attitude towards parenting has the knock-on affect that children are raised without rules, discipline and obedience. This then follows on in adulthood and is passed onto the next generation.

Another factor that I've noticed is that very few fathers are hands-on parents and they leave the parenting job for the mothers. The ratio of single parent families is enormous, with the majority being single mums looking after the kids and probably trying to hold down a job. They must be exhausted. Bed time for kids can be a real chore, especially if all their friends are running around the street and playing.

My 11 year olds go to bed at 8:30 on a school night and can stay up at weekends, but never beyond 11. There is no way they would be in any fit state to leave for school at 07:30 every morning if they went to bed any later.

 

[Drperson]

We had a school meeting last week and the school director talked about this exact thing . about the importance of geeting kind to sleep early. I do not understand why this habit ot sleeping late became a cultural norm. 20 years ago the campo had no lights and I assume people went to bed early.

 

[Squat]

We had a school meeting last week and the school director talked about this exact thing . about the importance of geeting kind to sleep early. I do not understand why this habit ot sleeping late became a cultural norm. 20 years ago the campo had no lights and I assume people went to bed early.

Same here! Are your kids in Las Terrenas?

 

[Unit5]

This used to not bother me at all ( before I had a son ) in Canada and US kids normally go to bed 7-9 some sooner some later but these are the general culturally accepted times I think.

I don't even really consider this cultural question to be honest because going to bed even as an adult before 12 is objectively healthier but cultural awareness of this issue?

For children under 10 this is even more important so they can develop properly do well in school etc. My son was born in North America and has a minor medical condition where the doctor has advised/stressed the importance of his sleep especially due to his neurological issue which is provoked my stress and lack of sleep.

When we're in the Dominican I hear kids, especially in the Barrios going to bed 12 - 1AM with their parents getting upset. in the good neighborhoods I still hear them up but they're not as loud - I honestly don't care what other parents do it doesn't bug me at all but it becomes an issue when people invite themselves over at social hour which is 9 - 10 pm at night and bring their kids.

Some family members are really understanding and good and bring their families to visit around 6pm or so and others just seem to not care and get really offended if you tell them to come earlier and not late at night when everyone works and needs to sleep.

I always find myself here trying to not offend people as I find they can get offended pretty easy and hold grudges; but everyone is so laid back and acts as if nothing they do affects another person and it's their issue if it does - mentioning something that puts accountability turns out to be a huge cultural no no that I have a hard time with here i.e (you take my bike and run out of gas you need to treat it as your problem, not mine) there are people like this everywhere of course but what I am doing is applying a generalization here based on years of observation and cultural normalities.

I enjoy laid back surprise visits sometimes and the hospitality that comes with them if you're on the receiving end.

So to the original question again, do Dominicans know that kids need extra sleep in order to develop ? perhaps it's the afternoon school classes kids? why not put them to bed early so you have more adult time to yourselves ? the preparation or routine takes 45 mins max. Is this just an employment issue? parents dont have a job receive money from someone and have zero routine?

Glad I'm not the only one who has observed this...lol

 

[Big]

Parents that allow children to be out and about unaccompanied after 900pm are losers, and they are grooming their children to follow in their footsteps.

 

[arete92]

I've lived in two barrios since moving down to the DR.
They ran 24hrs a day/ 7 days a week. Sleep, education
and work were never very high up on the list of things
to do tomorrow.

The preparation takes 45 mins max?
This ain't Kansas.
Children are often treated like adults in this country from
a very young age. Parenting skills are almost nonexistent
in most under-privileged neighborhoods across this country
of which there are way too many to count.

My advice would be to keep your feelings and ideas about
how these people parent their children to yourself because
voicing them will almost certainly blow back in your face.
I learned this lesson the hard way over a decade ago.

I normally do tbh it's just when they come into my atmosphere ( house ) with late night visits and tell me in a really relaxed way that its fine for kids to go to bed late that it's not big deal is when my opinions normally come out lol

 

[arete92]

Parents that allow children to be out and about unaccompanied after 900pm are losers, and they are grooming their children to follow in their footsteps.

Yeah I agree, the laid back bedtimes normally go with the laidback lifestyle of putting very little effort into everything as a parent - really bothers me when anyone doesn't matter if we're here or in our countries using the excuse of "chill" to evade something that may be difficult but beneficial to the kids development and even conductive for life progression in general.

 

[arete92]

Glad I'm not the only one who has observed this...lol

I kid you not I just went to a kids birthday party yesterday that turned 2 and rice, salad and hotdogs were ready at 22:30 cake at 23:15.

 

[arete92]

Glad I'm not the only one who has observed this...lol

It took me a while to care in all honesty; wasn't an issue until I had a kid.

 

[arete92]

We had a school meeting last week and the school director talked about this exact thing . about the importance of geeting kind to sleep early. I do not understand why this habit ot sleeping late became a cultural norm. 20 years ago the campo had no lights and I assume people went to bed early.

That's really great actually to hear - I think if they talked more about this kind of thing to parents and educate the ones who have little education they may just listen - the educated Dominicans would listen and take it into consideration. The campo I visit doesn't have electricity they go to bed late too tbh this is mostly from the mobile phones but also for some reason people really like doing their social hours at nights. Like I can understand it's hot here Dominicans dont like to get black that's the truth they don't like to sweat and appear unkempt either so nighttime is a bit more conducive in keeping those things in check.

What I notice is the working Dominicans middle class and up will normally chill in their house when they're done work and they function as an independent household like that.

For me my observation it is that the people who come at those hours lack a routine cause they don't work and it doesn't matter how late they stay up cause it will have no penalty on tomorrow.

I know a house that has six family members living in one area none of them work a full-time job, their kids go to bed at 2 in the morning with the other family members and wake up around 11 am and repeat.

Focusing more on your response though; I hope they continue to educate the parents but also the kids on the importance of sleep and such, diet and exercise, sleep should be given more attention here or D.R is going to be in bad shape no pun intended but I see some negative lifestyle factors progressing here that I hope they culturally don't go through.

 

[arete92]

Just a few theories;
Maybe they don't go to school full time so they take a nap around noon after lunch and as a result they do not need as much sleep at night?
Do the kids that go to school full time have a long break during the day as well, when they could take a nap?
My construction guys take a two hour lunch and frequently take a nap after eating a gallon of rice.
Maybe that is why they walk to slow, because they are exhausted?

School full time here is normally 4 hours though? my kid has the afternoon class but I still put him to bed at 9 and he sleeps until 7AM. independent if they have school or not though I remember the neurologist stressing to me that kids need 10 hours of sleep in order to grow to their mental maturity in a healthy way. If they play sports run around etc they need more ( coming from a doctor not me ) but a quick Google search supports her claims and our intuition as well.

They generally don't take naps at school I dont think, they get a little break for recess and a few breathers.

lol the construction guys take a 2 hour break just because I have no logic for it other than they prefer to do it like this? I mean I really wouldnt want to work outside at the solar noon either! makes sense in their climate although personally i'd prefer just to get the crap done and over with or just work at a normal pace and have everything done in 5-6 hours that would equate to the total of 8.

Depends, Dominicans will eat well the Haitians normally bring their own lunch from what I see with the crews around me. Dominicans will go out or go home and eat the big portions that they have.

The walking slow part, I really don't know .. it's not just after they eat it's in the grocery store, gym everywhere. they're not in a rush to get stuff done I envy them cause they dont have a concept of time or north American style of deadlines; but I am still glad I have high internal expectations of myself for managing my time and tasks that I control.

 

[Yourmaninvegas]

I don't see why such a big deal is being made about this (bedtimes for kids).

Run things how you like in your own home and parent your own kids how you would like.
Let everyone else do things how they choose.
Guests in the 🇩🇴 who don't like the way things work here can return to their "north American style" of life and your "concept of time" in your country of origin.
🙄 🥱

 

[NALs]

The siesta has nothing to do with anything about the country. It was a habit imported from Spain during colonial times and, like in most former Spanish colonies, it has remained one generation to the next. If you notice other close by islands that were not colonies of Spain, no one there takes anything similar to a siesta, not even construction workers. This despite they all have tropical weather and a strong sun. Point is they were British and from other European countries colonies, similar to how the USA started like 13 colonies from Britain.

There is a reason Dominicans speak Spanish while this site frequented mostly by Americans and Canadians is in English.