Does anyone besides me think DR1 posters cross the line into mysogyny?

[the gorgon]

i am a woman and i do not share your concern. those posters, who use term cuero/puta talk about women who fit this description, either professionals or some nasty skans who stole from them, cheated on them and so on. i am not a fan of a notion that i should respect everyone equally, i respect only those who deserve respect. being able to breath is not enough to command my esteem.

is this true that some posters only engage themselves with the low end of the dominican society? yes. so what of it? they associate with who they want, good for them. as a woman i am not offended by posts from mongers. they amuse me.

but of course i am critical of dominicans on the whole so maybe my opinion does not stand.

actually, i find it next to impossible to disagree with anything you posted .

 

[tommeyers]

Chica is not a demeaning term, it is simply the feminine form of chico.

There are certainly some on this Forum who do demean women.

I doubt that it does any damage to anyone, though: it simply shows that some men are pretty shallow and perhaps none too bright.

Well said. I only add that I don't care how others behave unless it directly affects me. I take responsibility for my behavior and have no responsibility for others. Which also means that I don't want to change them.

 

[Cdn_Gringo]

From a linguistic point of view, I can't seem to find an empirical definition of chica that is intended to be derogatory. I do not know if that word has negative connotations within the local populace of the DR. Further, as someone who is new to the DR and Caribbean Spanish, I rely heavily on the words used by others as I learn to communicate effectively among my peers and the locals.

I thought the word was cuero for male or female? Either way there is no doubt that the implied meaning of this word is derogatory in nature and societal/group pressure should/would discourage its use among "learned" individuals.

This forum like any other offers participants the opportunity to engage in discourse in a way that they may not employ face to face. At the same time, those that would use such terms should be free to do so as there does not seem to be a Dominican consensus that the terms are socially unacceptable or wholly offensive.

I'm new here so I could be wrong. I'm speaking up just to let others know that newbies do absorb language usage from the veterans here and we tend to use that new found knowledge in our daily activities because we don't know any better and in a lot of cases don't have another term to use.

 

[Aguaita29]

Chica is not a demeaning term, it is simply the feminine form of chico.

There are certainly some on this Forum who do demean women.

I doubt that it does any damage to anyone, though: it simply shows that some men are pretty shallow and perhaps none too bright.

I agree! Chica is not a demeaning term. It only means "girl".

 

[dulce]

In my mind chica is not demeaning but there are better choices when referring to an older woman to show respect. I never heard an older woman called chica.

 

[bronzeallspice]

Keep in mind that for some of them, cueros are the only women who wouldn?t mind being seen hand in hand with them. This is the only type of woman they can have access to.

Actually, there are members who have had to leave their country to have their first girlfriend, because no one wants to date them. Go figure the "caliber" of men we?re talking about.

Any man who is at least fairly attractive, and has something going on for them, will find women who will genuinely want to be with him, ANYWHERE, but these men can ONLY get laid if they pay.

Notice how there is something wrong with the women in their countries, there is something wrong with Dominican women. It?s always the woman who?s at fault, but most of them don?t think there?s anything wrong with themselves.

I coudn't have said it any better.

 

[Xavier_Onassis]

In my mind chica is not demeaning but there are better choices when referring to an older woman to show respect. I never heard an older woman called chica.

=====================================================
Among Cubans, you frequently hear ancient whiskerandos playing dominos and saying "?Oye chico!" every two minutes or so. Women sometimes call each other "chica" as well, but seem to prefer terms like"mujer de Dios". I have heard women refer to one another, using loth the term "mujer" and "hombre".

In English, both sexes refer to their "boyfriends" and "girlfriends". There are other terms, like "spouse"and "partner", but they seem insufficient, somehow.

As for showing respect, this seems to be more among people who do not know each other so well. People we know well we don't tend to be so respectful towards.

 

[the gorgon]

I am dominican and I agree with OP. Thats why i laugh everytime a person gets stiffed by one of these said "cuero's". I'm all for gentlemans clubs and sex tourism but if this is the only basis for you getting laid or having a social life then you are a loser. and i rather be a cuero than a loser any day.... except Cuba dave. he's a national treasure.

I read thru most of your threads and it seems like the cuero's are winning. All i see is ex-pat's wailing when a cuero runs off wit their money.

With all that said. Most of you are complete idiots for marrying these "cuero's".....who in their right mind would marry a prostitute???

the cueros are winning because the deck is stacked in their favor. first advantage...they speak spanish, and the foreigner does not( in most instances). so, a guy who had a decent profession in his home country cannot socialize with his equals here, because he cannot communicate with them. so, when he seeks female companionship, he is relegated to the type which is transaction based, which needs only rudimentary communication. as is normal, he seeks out the loveliest and most pulchritudinous of the available offerings, someone to whom he could not speak to in his homeland without her calling the cops and accusing him of being a molester. then he falls in love, because he has never had a woman treat him so well in his recent memory. he comes from a land in which women use trim as a weapon to keep men in line. if you behave like a good boy, i will let you have a sniff for 15 minutes on August 9th, at 10 pm. Dominican women believe that the only way to get you to behave is to give you so much poon tang, you will leave her sister and cousin alone, because you are so tuckered out. then they have you by the short hairs. they are winning. they are getting the Galaxy, the pasola, and oftentimes the house in Las Caobas. their perpetually sick mother is getting all her "prescriptions" filled.

the girls are way ahead of the game. gringo is learning the rules which the girls wrote, with the help of their mommas.

 

[the gorgon]

Keep in mind that for some of them, cueros are the only women who wouldn?t mind being seen hand in hand with them. This is the only type of woman they can have access to.

Actually, there are members who have had to leave their country to have their first girlfriend, because no one wants to date them. Go figure the "caliber" of men we?re talking about.

Any man who is at least fairly attractive, and has something going on for them, will find women who will genuinely want to be with him, ANYWHERE, but these men can ONLY get laid if they pay.

Notice how there is something wrong with the women in their countries, there is something wrong with Dominican women. It?s always the woman who?s at fault, but most of them don?t think there?s anything wrong with themselves.

you are absolutely right about the association thing. take the casetas on the POP malecon as an example. very infrequently do you see the creme de la creme of Dominican society going there. why, you ask? well, they associate them with a large presence of foreigners, and they do not want to be seen there by their peers, lest they suspect that they might be trawling for a gringo, which they are not.

 

[dulce]

the cueros are winning because the deck is stacked in their favor. first advantage...they speak spanish, and the foreigner does not( in most instances). so, a guy who had a decent profession in his home country cannot socialize with his equals here, because he cannot communicate with them. so, when he seeks female companionship, he is relegated to the type which is transaction based, which needs only rudimentary communication. as is normal, he seeks out the loveliest and most pulchritudinous of the available offerings, someone to whom he could not speak to in his homeland without her calling the cops and accusing him of being a molester. then he falls in love, because he has never had a woman treat him so well in his recent memory. he comes from a land in which women use trim as a weapon to keep men in line. if you behave like a good boy, i will let you have a sniff for 15 minutes on August 9th, at 10 pm. Dominican women believe that the only way to get you to behave is to give you so much poon tang, you will leave her sister and cousin alone, because you are so tuckered out. then they have you by the short hairs. they are winning. they are getting the Galaxy, the pasola, and oftentimes the house in Las Caobas. their perpetually sick mother is getting all her "prescriptions" filled.

the girls are way ahead of the game. gringo is learning the rules which the girls wrote, with the help of their mommas.

This could be used as a perfect example of the OP.
Where on earth do these men get such a warped opinion of all women? Twisted thinking to justify the means. IMHO

 

[bob saunders]

i am a woman and i do not share your concern. those posters, who use term cuero/puta talk about women who fit this description, either professionals or some nasty skans who stole from them, cheated on them and so on. i am not a fan of a notion that i should respect everyone equally, i respect only those who deserve respect. being able to breath is not enough to command my esteem.

is this true that some posters only engage themselves with the low end of the dominican society? yes. so what of it? they associate with who they want, good for them. as a woman i am not offended by posts from mongers. they amuse me.

but of course i am critical of dominicans on the whole so maybe my opinion does not stand.

I treat everyone with respect, until they prove they don't deserve it.
Name one person you know that doesn't generalize about something. When people on DR1 say " Dominican women or Dominican men....etc , they are simply generalizing. I'm not offended by somebody calls some woman unknown to me a name. I might be offended if I know the lady in question and know the statements are untrue, otherwise it's simply men being boys.
I observe the behavior and listen to all the talk around me every morning in a school filled with Dominican female staff and hear the sob stories of women who claim they can't pay this month or that month. Dominican women suck Dominican men into paying their way and they use their bodies to do so. It's not all Dominican women but it is a large enough slice of Dominican society that it's not confined to any one class. So anyone that thinks it's just a Gringo men /Dominican woman think doesn't understand the culture. I don't find any of this behavior contemptible, just a little saddened at the reality of human behavior.

 

[frank recktenwald]

What's wrong with calling a spade a spade?

 

[Aguaita29]

What's wrong with calling a spade a spade?

Frank, do you own a mirror? If so, what made you think that a SANE, pretty young woman, who isn?t a cuero, would spread her legs for you? Most importantly, if you?re dealing with cueros, why not put a condom on?

 

[frank recktenwald]

Frank, do you own a mirror? If so, what made you think that a SANE, pretty young woman, who isn?t a cuero, would spread her legs for you? Most importantly, if you?re dealing with cueros, why not put a condom on?

Knowing the game doesn't mean that one is part of it.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Wise words from a wise man, you could learn something.

 

[bronzeallspice]

I treat everyone with respect, until they prove they don't deserve it.
Name one person you know that doesn't generalize about something. When people on DR1 say " Dominican women or Dominican men....etc , they are simply generalizing. I'm not offended by somebody calls some woman unknown to me a name. I might be offended if I know the lady in question and know the statements are untrue, otherwise it's simply men being boys.
I observe the behavior and listen to all the talk around me every morning in a school filled with Dominican female staff and hear the sob stories of women who claim they can't pay this month or that month. Dominican women suck Dominican men into paying their way and they use their bodies to do so. It's not all Dominican women but it is a large enough slice of Dominican society that it's not confined to any one class. So anyone that thinks it's just a Gringo men /Dominican woman think doesn't understand the culture. I don't find any of this behavior contemptible, just a little saddened at the reality of human behavior.

Aha! But let's turn that around and let someone refer to ALL Canadian women as whores
and let's see how fast you will chime in to defend them.:classic:

 

[drstock]

The fact that the OP considered the word "chica" to be a derogatory term could indicate that he sees abusive language where none is intended.

 

[frank recktenwald]

Aha! But let's turn that around and let someone refer to ALL Canadian women as whores
and let's see how fast you will chime in to defend them.:classic:

Someone I knew in the past always said " all women are whores, the only ones I know that aren't are my mother and grandmother but don't ask my father or grandfather"
Don't shoot the messenger
Bronzy, it's part of the culture here. If I'd had to pay a dime for every time I heard a mother tell her daughter "el hombre tiene que pagar para la popola" I'd be broke even with Buffet's money
I also know that NOT ALL DOMINICAN WOMEN are like that but the DR is known for their loose women hence in most brothels worldwide you'll always find a Dominican woman or 2 or 3.
If the shoe fits wear it if not don't be offended

 

[frank recktenwald]

The fact that the OP considered the word "chica" to be a derogatory term could indicate that he sees abusive language where none is intended.

It also could indicate he doesn't speak Spanish. Not speaking Spanish=not knowing the culture

 

[Criss Colon]

It's SUNDAY,...Nice "SERMON" "MoFo"!!!!!

AND, it has the added benefit of giving all those who want to show how "Holy" they are a forum to do so!!!!
If someone calls me an "Ignorant Old Fool", does that bother me?
NO!
If I call you a "Cuero Dominicana" should THAT bother you?
NO!
I'm not ignorant, or a Fool, I'm just "OLD", and getting "OLD" beats the alternative!
Are YOU a "Cuero"?
If not, forget about it!
The facts are that there is a LOT of prostitution, and therefore Prostitutes working in the DR!
There would be MANY more, but their "Sisters" are working as prostitutes elsewhere.
DR ranks 4th. in the number of women working in prostitution World wide.
Behind Brazil, Thailand, and The Philipines, countries with 10's of millions more women.

The DR IS a Sex Tourism destination!!!!!!!!!!!
It's LOADED with clubs, whore houses, hotels, cabanas, car washes, and "Streets" where women are selling themselves.
99% of the customers are NOT foreign men, they are "Dominicanos"!!!!!
Look closer to home if you want to find men seeing women as only sex objects!!!!!
At least the "Mongers" who CUM here to have sex with "Chicas" & "Cueros" pay them well, DON't get them pregnant,(Contrary To What The "Twin Sisters" here would like you to believe!) and certainly don't beat the $HIT out of them on a daily basis!

Work on giving young girls Some "Self Esteem".
Work on giving them Some "Personal Responsibility".
Work on giving them Some "Education".
The "Mongers" don't came to the DR to turn Dominican women into prostitutes, they come here because Dominican Society/Culture, has ALREADY turned them into prostitutes!
And really GOOD ONES at that!!!!!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:
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[mountainannie]

I am referring to use of certain terms like cuera and the ubiquitous chica which I find are used as pejoratives. So much of the conversation regarding dominican women wouldn't be tolerated among polite company outside this forum. The assumption that Women are shallow and exist for the plessure of men. In this case mostly foreigners. I engage in self censorship regarding forum guidelines. should there be a discussion of how mostly men here refer to women? Would such language be acceptable if the object of discussion was your daughter?

If this thread is inappropriate a mod is welcome to close it right away.

Oh Hell yes. But then I really think that most mongers are mysoginsts. That they use women for their own pleasure and look at them as less then and all that.

And that many of the men here, and many of the expats, as well, have been barred, quite rightly, from polite, educated Dominican company for fear of contamination.

That is only correct and as it should be.

When a male poster comes on and asks : how can I meet a "respectable" Dominican girl, I want to just laugh.. as in snowball's chance in hell.

Many of the guys here have had to marry the mother's of their children. And they met the mother's on line or at a bar or wherever.. and then judge the rest of the country by their in laws.. Ok. got to make allowances for that. They stepped in it. They are surrounded in it.

And now, of course, as Daddy's they think that they are going to be able to raise up little girls who are totally different from the mothers.. good luck with that one, guys.

We are all just strangers here in cyberspace. Who knows what troubles we all had to bring us here? Why we left our home countries? What keeps us here?

But hey, I would certainly love it if the mods would edit out more of the stuff about the whore mongering and the sex references.. but that is a vain hope when one of the top mongers is a moderator.

I have been lucky here. I have met only kind and loving and honest folks. Sure, I have been robbed. Sure, broken into. But I moved from the beach to the Capital and feel quite safe here now.