Does the good outweigh the bad? (My Story)

[EverythingJeff]

Hang on, now I'm the one who's confused. You say in your OP that you are a 27 y/o (male)
So as a young gay man in this country, life is all rosy eh? Some how I doubt it!

I don't live in the ghetto my friend. I don't know if you live in the capital or not, but there is clearly higher acceptance of homosexuality here then I would even venture to say in Ontario. I'm not a FLAMING IN YOUR FACE gay. I have no desire to perform public displays of affection.

I have yet to meet a person that ever said anything to my face about it. Now I'm sure they say things behind my back, but I'm okay with that.

I work with a few gay men, none of whom seem SHATTERED by living here.

Maybe you can tell me some of teh struggles you imagine I'd face? We might mean different things.

 

[CFA123]

Some how I doubt it!

Why doubt it?
DR's a great place to live... gays enjoy the culture, beaches, mountains, Presidente and rum as much as anyone... and there's a large gay community (both out and closeted) as well as gay bars/discos if that's what one is looking for.

For the most part people are tolerant of alternate lifestyles. Live and let live. No worse here than in the U.S.

 

[dv8]

some say the interenet is all about porn and LOLcats but i say it's mainly about b*tching! happy go lucky is boooooooring! some folks may get their kick from chicken soup for the soul kind of comments but i prefer bitter and sarcastic, it is way funnier!

does good outweight bad in DR for me? if only i could move with miesposo to europe i would be out of here in a flash and i would NEVER COME BACK. my life is better here on many levels: i have love, cats and comfort but the country itself is nothing special.

 

[EverythingJeff]

i have love, cats and comfort but the country itself is nothing special.

I have a cat for you. She is 12lbs and keeps trying to eat my dog. Do you want her?

 

[Robert]

I don't live in the ghetto my friend. I don't know if you live in the capital or not, but there is clearly higher acceptance of homosexuality here then I would even venture to say in Ontario.

I don't know much about Ontario, but I agree with you, Santo Domingo is very open to homosexuality, more so in the "social" set you (EverythingJeff) runs around with. Then again, maybe if you lived in Los Minas, it might be a little different.

Actually, I'm a little surprised how large the gay community is here, how open and accepted it is. Look at some of the better Universities, lots of gay guys. As I said, surprising, especially this being a typical latino machista culture.

I'm all for the gay community expanding here, it can only be good for us single hetro guys

 

[beeza]

I'm on the North Coast. I have a friend and colleague who is a gay man, and he finds life tough here. I don't think he has found anyone special yet although he keeps looking. I do know of an instance where things have got out of hand with a previous relationship. He was left very badly beaten up, robbed and broken hearted.
I work in the airline industry and I meet a lot of gay cabin crew who stay here for a few days at a time. From what I understand they stay away from Dominicans.

 

[La Mariposa]

I know, you were to good for me..... this is why I'm reduced to dating other men... for shame Jeffrey, for shame....

You said it

 

[dv8]

maaaaan! your kitty is totally adorable! we have two kittehs and if i tried to bring another one miesposo would surely divorce all of us

 

[EverythingJeff]

I'm on the North Coast. I have a friend and colleague who is a gay man, and he finds life tough here. I don't think he has found anyone special yet although he keeps looking. I do know of instances where things have got out of hand with a previous relationship. He was left very badly beaten up, robbed and broken hearted.
I work in the airline industry and I meet a lot of gay cabin crew who stay here for a few days at a time. From what I understand they stay away from Dominicans.

THIS.

This is an issue of CLASS. I'm sorry, but there is no way around it. Is your friend white? Either he is, and made a poor decision, or he is Dominican and made a poor decision AND was dropped on his head as a child.

I certainly do not have much experience outside the capital, but this is bound to be it. I will generalize with "Those living outside the capital are poor"

The available singles may be few and far between where you are and the single "men who have sex with men" who are willing to be in a relationship must be very low. Your friend might get a lot of "action" (sorry for that image), but he isn't going to find true love anytime soon.

When he finds "love" it is likely to result in sadness and a financial loss also... this is likely almost always going to be the case.

It saddens me to see people in that position, as there might not always be a way out of it....

I'm sorry to be the barer of bad news.

 

[EverythingJeff]

maaaaan! your kitty is totally adorable! we have two kittehs and if i tried to bring another one miesposo would surely divorce all of us

The cat attempted suicide the other day by falling out the back window and landing on the neighbours "toldo" (I actually don't know the english word... the fabric that prevents the rain from coming in?). I had to pull her back up thru the bars by her skull.

Sigh... my life IS terrble.

 

[beeza]

Yes, he's white. Danish in fact. Speaks seven languages, is very intelligent, and our station manager. He's not an in-your-face gay either.
As I said, I'm only going on by what I know, which is why I doubted your rosy life here. Although it seems that the Capital is very different.

 

[Robert]

This is an issue of CLASS.

We have almost come full circle... It all comes back to who you socialize with and how well you assimilate.

You're in the minority with the "social status" of Dominicans that you interact with, both at work and socialize. Most people on this board will NEVER come into contact with these Dominicans or understand who you're talking about.

Yep, I know that sounds elitist, classiest, or whatever. That's how it is here, for better or worse.

AZB's soul mate is gay, it doesn't get any better than that!

 

[VistaMar]

Gay people also bring property values up and spend money like its going out of style... No matter what part of the world. They are good for business!!! The majority of gay folks that i have met were cool people, always had a party and fun to be around!

 

[EverythingJeff]

Gay people also bring property values up and spend money like its going out of style... No matter what part of the world. They are good for business!!! The majority of gay folks that i have met were cool people, always had a party and fun to be around!

What would you do without us!? I have more expendable income then I know what to do with.....

 

[bri777]

Now thats classy !
Manu

 

[bri777]

Dear Jeffrey
I know a lot of gay folks and the classy ones would never brag about how much money they have !They try to live a non flaming lifestyle and even they have problems .So keep your rose colored glasses on as long as you can.
Manu

 

[EverythingJeff]

Dear Jeffrey
I know a lot of gay folks and the classy ones would never brag about how much money they have !They try to live a non flaming lifestyle and even they have problems .So keep your rose colored glasses on as long as you can.
Manu

If I could go back and add my favourite winky face I would, consider it an internet blunder.

 

[Snuffy]

Moving to DR and learning to live is stressful. So folks come here to complain. Many don't make the transition into DR culture. They go home. Some make it all the way through the gauntlet. They may still complain here but not as often. Many are very supportive and positive posters. Internet discussion boards are often based upon people having problems and seeking solutions. So not the same type conversation you might have with the same group say at a party.

 

[DMV123]

I've had reason to spend a lot of time recently in the Colonial Zone. I was told it was much more gay friendly here and it is absolutely correct.On the north coast they are fundamentally homophobic. Anyone openly gay is mocked, criticized and much worse.

I've just spent 2 weeks in SD and it is much more accepting of the gay lifestyle - I am amazed. Jeff - if you go outside SD you will find it a much different story!

Unfortunately the comments about class are dead on correct! Choosing the wrong kind of partner whether straight or gay often leads to trouble - physical, emotional and financial.

 

[Criss Colon]

If You Are 26,Single,Have Money,

You would be leading a Happy Life if you lived in Tripoli Libya!
When you only are responsible for yourself,LIFE is EASY!
Add a spouse,kids,family members,a house,cars,medical ins,tuition,etc.,etc.
LIFE is a bit more of a struggle,ESPECIALLY in the DR!
Here,you can always call the,electric company,water company,police,fire,etc. You can CALL,but nothing will ever happen!
For me,the BEST THING about living in the DR is our Extended Family!My kids really like having the grandparents living with us.Other family members live nearby.
Other than that,if you have a car breakdown here,a crowd will soon gather to "Help Out"!I had a group actually lift my van into the air,(With Me Inside!) and get me off a high curb!I have been pushed down C/Churchill!
If you get sick,everyone will come to help you out!
And the ONE Thing,that Dominicans do unbelievably well,is "BURY THE DEAD"!
You die,everyone you have EVER met will be at your funeral,the flowers,priests,will be there.You will have a huge funeral procession to your grave,and all this in about 24 hours!! I can hardly wait!!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC