dominican- american marriage

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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hello i am a 23 american womanhe is a 32 dominican man, we have a five tear old daughter and i need help!!!!!1
we are planning to get married on april 27 2002. my questions are
1. when we go over to dr how would i be treatefd
2. i dont think that any one in his family likes me (except his mother who passed away 3 months ago) because i am white and they think that ia m keeping him from his family-not true!!!
anyways does anyone have any experiewnces with this first hand or otherwise.
any help would be greatly appricatefd!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Gemini

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Jan 5, 2002
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You need spellcheck more than a husband!

Just bring the family lots of presents and make sure you pay for everything while you're there. I think they will quickly learn to value and appreciate your importance in their lives.
 

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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lol sometimes i type to fast and i dont check. anywayshave you had experience with that kind of situation?
do you live in dr, if not where do you live?
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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You should have no problems

His Family will welcome you.Your Daughter will be the "Princess" of wherever you go.You may have trouble with the "Former"wife,if your Boyfriend has one that he left behind.If he has children here that he does not support,their mother will be a "Problem".If none of those conditions apply to your boyfriend don,t worry.Criss
 
Mar 21, 2002
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Details needed for an adequate response

Jessica, any good doctor needs to run a battery of exams to determine your condition. Then they can prescribe the proper medicine.

Tell us more about your background with specific details. For ex. where were you born? What is your background? As much info as possible. Also everything you can tell us about him. Lastly the complete conditions that lead to you meeting him.

If you can do this we can help. Take a deep breath and type very slowly so we can understand it fully.

I am a Dominican male from the Cibao area. I'll try to help you as honestly and to the best of my ability as possible.
 

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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i didnt realize that grammer and spellimg was going to be on the test!!!
i am from us i live in ny. we met when he came up to western ny from nyc to visit friends. i lived in the front apt building and he lived in back of me. my sister was going out with his friends son and they introduced us in beginning of august, by the first part of december we moved in together.in febuary i became pregnet (an accident not a mistake). we have been together for seven years.
he is from higuey he has a hugh family from what he tells me is that his father had something to do with the mayor of higuey, and that his family was not rich but comfortable. i guess if you have a generator in dr you are all set.
i have heard that the lighter skin you have the better off you are. his mother carried a pic of us every where she went and constantly bragged to everyone about her mijos family.
can you tell me your feelings if your brother was to marry a white woman
 

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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to criss colon i have had many people tell me that my daughter wil be the princess.

luckily for me he has no other kids no other wife as far as i know.

thank you for your advise. do you know any thing about higuey.
 

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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White-black will not be the problem.

What has been suggested above might be a problem--if there are other kids from former relationships.

take things real slow and get a feel for what's happening.

By the way: mijos means my children or mis hijos is good Spanish. She was calling you and her son, her children. You are right, she did like you...

HB
 

Montessorian

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Apr 1, 2002
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www.patriaquerida.homestead.com
I am living it!

I just wanted to add tha I am married to a Dominican Man. We live in Miami. He is a Horse Groom (not a job that pays the big bucks :( and I am a full time student the University of Miami).

I would be happy to email you and explain some of the trials we have faced over the years. In general, my husband does not want to go back to his country, at least not now. I would be willing to go anytime. He was very poor there and now in the US, poor has taken on a whole new meaning "DEBT".

As far as family is concerned, his family considers him "the rich uncle" and every time we visit (twice a year), we DO pay for everything, we bring tons of gifts and leave a cash gift before we leave. While there I stock up my mother-in-law's pantry, with the basics, purchace what every medicines they need, and take everyone, usually 17 or 20 to the conuco rest. in Santo Domingo.

When I got married, I had one son from a first marriage, and he has two who lived in Santo Domingo. I sponsored them to come to the U.S. and now they are teens. (Be forwarned; event the best teen is a handfull). Now we have four more children, all of whom consider themselves "Dominican".

Mixing family, races, and religions has it's benifits and drawbacks. Just remember that when you get married it is to the person that is standing at the alter. He needs to put YOU first and you HIM first. Respect each other's families but for the big decisions only count on each other.
 

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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thank you for sharing your story. I have one question, how does his family treat you considering you are an american?
 

trina

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Jan 3, 2002
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The answer to that question depends on the individuals themselves, not on the fact that they are Dominican.

I can understand your anxiety, but the only thing you can do is treat his family with respect, as you wish to be respected. I am married to a Dominican, and I love my husband's family. They go out of their way to make my visits to the family special. They never expect gifts, but I always bring gifts, the same as I do for my family on their birthdays, Christmas, etc.

Do you speak Spanish at all? This may help immensely, breaking down the communication barrier and showing them that you are making an effort and taking an interest in communicating with them.
 

jessica__78

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Apr 3, 2002
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yes i do speak spanish and i can also read a little bit. I can cook spanish food like nobodys business!!! (i like to cook the dominican flag). I also love bachat and merengue. i have immersedf me self in the dominican culture all the way!
i have never gone over there but when i do if couurse i will come baring gifts,not to suck up, but special gifts from my heart!