Dominican Form Of Poligamy

[rio2003]

Higher up, maybe....

I agree, I think it still happens, but it is more a thing of the past when there were few women that had their own financial security.

It is still live and kicking in the campos - it is far from uncommon for a man to have two families......

I know two set ups where one of each of the couples has a "partner" abroad and they inadvertently finance the whole merry go round!!

:ermm:

Rio

 

[allaboutbeingdominican]

To Clear Up

I sense that in some way it is being implied on this thread that people having more than one lover / wife / husband / set of children is somehow wrong.
Maybe it is not the norm in some tribes but also maybe it doesn't work in some countrys' societies. Laws and [Judeo - Christian]conventions frown on poligamy and adultery in most of the western world.
I am not sure that it is the worst thing in the world if everyboy can live comfortably with it.
It still seems that north Americans and Europeans think they know better than later arrivals to the Western / Democratic /Christian 21st Century.

I think someone should try to educate and radicalise the women in the Dominican Republic and see how far they get. A little bit of Germaine Greer would work wonders in this hedonistic / barbaric / delicious country. For that matter if one really wanted to spoil the fun one could beam in some Oprah just so the chicas knew how not to get screwed over by men. And see how long it is before one is declared an enemy of the state and downright un-Dominican!

People seem to do O.K. in the Dominican Republic.
From what I have seen both sexes are pretty free and easy when it comes to dishing out the goodies.
If it ain't broke too badly - don't fix it. Or perhaps, if it is broken beyond repair - don't fix it.

i am not trying to fix anything, i am researching the causes, motives, behind this situation. i also come from a fammily that is built this way, with 5 brother and sisters of 2 other women, which have statuse as wife for my dad, 11 aunts and uncles between my grand fathers 2 other women, and 32 great aunts and uncles from the 5 "wives" my great gandfather had.

when it come to customs i am only up holding his situation by the customs of my world, my culture, hispanic catholic bases, men and women intened to marry and have one family social standered. Again my question is what is the womens motivation behind its tolerance, that is the subject of my research.

 

[A.Hidalgo]

Money might make the world go round, but pheromnes control the most basic of human behaviors.

Understood, but doesn't all that perfume and cologne interfere with nature.

 

[SKing]

i am not trying to fix anything, i am researching the causes, motives, behind this situation. i also come from a fammily that is built this way, with 5 brother and sisters of 2 other women, which have statuse as wife for my dad, 11 aunts and uncles between my grand fathers 2 other women, and 32 great aunts and uncles from the 5 "wives" my great gandfather had.

when it come to customs i am only up holding his situation by the customs of my world, my culture, hispanic catholic bases, men and women intened to marry and have one family social standered. Again my question is what is the womens motivation behind its tolerance, that is the subject of my research.

Although economics play a part, in my honest opinion LOVE is the reason for the tolerance.

 

[catcherintherye]

"Understood, but doesn't all that perfume and cologne interfere with nature."

Absolutely, but you'll notice many perfume and colonge companies are advertising the introduction of pheromones in their products. Originally perfumes were produced to enhance the natural scents (by the way, real pheromones are orderless at the conscious level, they simply affect the limbic system through the olfactory nerve). They never really got the perfumes right, but they smelled good.

Now, they add human pheromones to the existing scents and it's suppose to work. Being a good boy, you can't prove it one way or the other by me.

 

[allaboutbeingdominican]

"Understood, but doesn't all that perfume and cologne interfere with nature."

Absolutely, but you'll notice many perfume and colonge companies are advertising the introduction of pheromones in their products. Originally perfumes were produced to enhance the natural scents (by the way, real pheromones are orderless at the conscious level, they simply affect the limbic system through the olfactory nerve). They never really got the perfumes right, but they smelled good.

Now, they add human pheromones to the existing scents and it's suppose to work. Being a good boy, you can't prove it one way or the other by me.[/QUOUT/>

THIS IS NO ABOUT CHEMICAL BODY REACTIONS BUT THE LOGIC, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL TOLERANCE.

 

[catcherintherye]

Sorry brother, but I was just answering a question.

By the way, it would help if you would stop shouting. In case you didn't know, upper case letters are usually considered rude and obnoxious. Tone it down, and I won't take up any more of your time.

 

[allaboutbeingdominican]

Sorry brother, but I was just answering a question.

By the way, it would help if you would stop shouting. In case you didn't know, upper case letters are usually considered rude and obnoxious. Tone it down, and I won't take up any more of your time.[/QUOT

those last uppercase was intentional...... but i do want to say you have a point....... never asume i am a boy, might be a girl we might be a group

 

[A.Hidalgo]

Its amazing how you think that in these pages you will find an answer to your "research". I'm sure there are books on the sociology of this phenomenon out there. Its a complex issue and unless there are some social scientist or anthropologist who have studied the Dominican society all you are going to get is a lot of blah, blah. Go to the library or bookstore, your research will be more complete.

 

[Lambada]

Go to the library or bookstore, your research will be more complete.

I'm so glad you mentioned reading. Allaboutbeingdominican could start with Migration, Remittances & Gender in the DR: Women's contribution to development by Sandra Garcia 2005 (UN International Research & Training Institute for the Advancement of Women) available online as a download & also Quisqueya Unbound: Gender Roles among Dominican Women in Providence, RI by Gaelan Lee Benway. Look at the bibliographies of both for further reading suggestions.

If the research requires gathering opinions I would suggest this is done in a methodologically sound manner.

 

[Chip]

While it is probably not that uncommon for Dominican guys to have other women, even with children, it has to be a very small percentage where it is openly accepted based on conversation I have had here and listening to my wife talking with her sisters and other women.

 

[allaboutbeingdominican]

Its amazing how you think that in these pages you will find an answer to your "research". I'm sure there are books on the sociology of this phenomenon out there. Its a complex issue and unless there are some social scientist or anthropologist who have studied the Dominican society all you are going to get is a lot of blah, blah. Go to the library or bookstore, your research will be more complete.

let me explain, this is not a school paper i have to research and site quotes, i am a journalist, a writer working on a piece. i want to know the reason and motivation behind the common people, not what some intellectual said. on these pages and others i have posted i have heard so much more valued information rich in authenticity and uniqueness, these word from each of you all have a soul and there full of life, raw because they are your own not those written and processed through editing by those who judge art.

 

[Lambada]

i have to research and site quotes

and there full of life,

i am a journalist, a writer working on a piece.

Just teasing :cheeky:.

Maybe also try some face to face interviews which you can record? They can be pretty raw & unique too.

 

[allaboutbeingdominican]

lol

Just teasing :cheeky:.

Maybe also try some face to face interviews which you can record? They can be pretty raw & unique too.

yeah you love my grammer...lol, but when my pieces get published they defenitly don't have mistakes, here you can just let your hair down, anyways believe it or not i can't spell for ****.

 

[kellyjfisch]

In terms of your question, "is this exclusive to Dominican culture?"

I can only speak from experience. But my boyfriend is from Uganda and he is one of 19 children. Now he has 5 stepmothers. His father had children with all of these women and some of his siblings are only months apart in age. Growing up he told me that he would call these women aunts and there was tension between the women at times, but some of these women were close friends and some even lived together. He explained to me that it was not typical of Ugandan culture; however, it was not looked at as strange. Now I wonder if this is more of a 3rd world country thing? Done for survival reasons??

 

[Tarheel]

I think Planner put it best in another thread. To paraphase: If you don't have money what can you do to have fun?

 

[cabaretesunshine]

Tarheel - that's a good point. There is little to do in poor villages other than listen to music/dance, drink, play dominoes or engage in sex. My Dominican network concurs. They also acknowledge that there are the 'village prostitutes' and all who live in each village know who they are. It is 'out in the open' so to speak... not a secret yet frowned upon by some and tolerated by others. The 'polygamy-type relationships' are because it is common to have a "union libre" in place of a legal marriage and not against the Law to create more than one 'wife' if there is no legal paper involved. But don't be mislead into thinking that ALL DOMINICAN MEN buy into this sort of relationship. There is not just one standard of living here. It is one form of 'way of life' here but it is by no means across the board. Take a look at this contradiction: This is a country where prostitution is open and not illegal, yet Dominican women would be arrested if sunbathing topless as it is considered 'soliciting'. Go figure!

 

[gringosabroso]

Solution? Voluntary & Temporary Sterilzation?

Suppose, just for kicks, that every DR female was temporarily & voluntarily sterilized [ie with the permission of her mother] at age 14;
* then the device [cf Norplant] was removed at age 25.
* Incentive? A 5,000 P gift each year to the mother & the teenage girl each year the device was in place & no children were born to her!
* Workable? The Roman Catholic Church? If each DR female was childless until age 25, would it change her perceptions on her next 50 years?
* Would DR men favor this? Put it on the ballot?
* Immoral? Impractical? Unethical? A mortal sin? Useless? Food for thought!

 

[ForeverOne]

Funny!

It amazes me...
I have gotten quite an education while in the DR (over 8 months now!)
I was amazed about the availability of cabanas and how obvious women are in their constant pursuit of men! Men seem to think that machismo is the rationale for what they do and therefore it's okay! It seems as if though married women come to expect that their spouse will cheat and just seem to look the other way as long as they have a good provider.
This is a female perspective on this phenomenom!

 

[Skippy1]

If you turn the clock back 200 years everything you see in the Dr now was present in all the so called 1st world countries and even America today.
This nothing new and certainly there is no high ground as far as history is concerned. Some would say Europe has never really changed for the rich and the upper classes they sleep with whom ever they like and have children with who ever they want....... just take a look at the American royals (Hollywood stars) and try to untangle some of their family trees.


Skippy1