Dominican men...liars??????????????

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A.J.

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THANK YOU Richard!!!!!
I have seen and heard too much whining about this subject, It is hard for me to see so many women oblivious to the truth and about the relationships get involved in here in the DR and abroad. I am tired of hearing women placing the blame on the men, no one forced them to get married, no one forced them to spend all of their money, no one forced them to go on vacation over and over again just to see their honey. The blame should be directed only at oneself because it is you who leads your life and commands your future.
 
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carmen

Guest
......

So in effect you are blaming the victim who truly loved for the lies that were told to them...and the fact that "people" are using them? Geez...I'd like to know your views on rape....maybe the "persons" who get raped or beat-up should have stayed home, not wore certain clothing....on and on. Be real!!!!!!!!!Hindsight is 20/20. I'm glad there are smart people like you around. Too bad I din't know your views before.
 
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A.J.

Guest
Re: carmen

First of all, a woman who is raped and or beaten is not at fault for it. And where did you pull that from?
The women who move to the DR because of a man and repeatedly get used are usually making excuses because they want to be loved and because they are dealing with Culture shock.
There are many strong women in Puerto Plata who offer good advice to the women who believe they are in love advice that mnay times if listened to the women would see the truth. Foreign women who live in Puerto Plata many times take newly arrived women under their wing and help them adjust to living in the North Coast. As we can all see by previous postings this is a common topic the "Vacation Fling".
I feel that Dominincan men as a group on this board are getting a bad reputation, men are men worldwide you are going to find good and your are going to find bad. There are many many good Dominican men around the world. When there are women who are burned they get together and just go over again and again how bad the men are. I would really like to hear more women talk about the good relationships they have had.
 
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Katia

Guest
FOR A.J.

I'm married to a Dominican man and believe me I've never been happier in my life. He is wonderful and caring and a hard worker. He has never asked for any money even if he did, I would give some to him and not complain about it. It's up to me to say yes or no.

I have been burnt in the past by another Dominican before meeting my husband and I never bad mouthed him and other dominicans. Each individual has their own faults and qualities. We shouldn't judge and put them all in the same category. I've gone out with Venezuelans, Americans, Italians, Canadians and I've never said that they all Italians are the same, all Venezuelans are the same. There are good and there are bad.

I agree with what you said A.J. all the way.

Women, stop complaining and generalizing.

Katia
 
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Phyllis

Guest
Terrific relationship with a Dominican Man!

You want to hear about good relationships between Canadian women and Dominican men - I'm Canadian and have had several great friendships with Dominican men over the last 2.5 years and this is one of the reasons I continue to visit this beautiful country! I have even brought girlfriends with me to vacation in the DR and they too have established great relationships!

I have one very special relationship with a DR man and he is the type of person who will take whatever type of job comes his way, just to ensure his family is taken care of. He has never asked me for money and his family have always welcomed me with open arms - I even received nice birthday gifts from them on my last visit!

YES, there are DR men who take advantage of woman with money - but it takes TWO to allow this to happen, no matter what country you are in; and YES the Dominican men probably do take advantage more than other races - but this is because there is obviously a demand for this or so many men wouldn't be so sucessful at it! I have such male DR friends who have ladies from around the world and it is a mutual relationship which allows both to be satisfied - what's wrong with that?? Of course there are woman who get hurt, but they should probably step back and really think about how & what happened along the way... remember it takes TWO - nobody is really the victim!

I have seen similiar posts like this thread several times and each time I get more upset! This board is for people who LOVE the Dominican Republic - whether it be the climate, music, people, food/drink; and for people to ask/respond to questions to try and help others.

Let's try to see the good in people, as there ARE kind and wonderful Dominican men out there!
 
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Sarah

Guest
Re: Terrific relationship with a Dominican Man!

Hi Phyllis!

The only thing I would take exception with in what you said is that Dominican men as a race probably take advantage of people more than others do. This is not a racial trait. It is a human trait. It may be true that Dominicans in the DR (and any other person who is poor, and living in a third world country) are survivors and their survivalist instints come out, much like yours and mine would, when faced with a certain circumstances.

As far as great relationships with Dominicans, just ask me! Some of my best friends in the world live in the "poorest" areas of the Southwest in the Dominican Republic. I know them to be proud, hard working, honest and loving people. I'm sure I wouldn't have taken 15 trips there in the past 7 years, lived there for a year, be planning return trips over New Year's and July 2001, have purchased property there, etc if Dominicans were treating me badly.

And I agree, this board is not meant for bashing. You'll have to take that somewhere else.
 
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tgf

Guest
Re: A small point

I said I would stay out of this one because I found it questionable and distasteful from the beginning, but I guess I have to put my two cents in.

First of all, Dominicans are not a race. This is a gross misuse of a very questionable term. Biologically, the whole concept of race is under question these days by scientists as to what is a race since there are such overlaps that the term has limited utility. Socially, race is misused as much as biologically. Dominicans can be viewed as an ethnic group. I know Dominicans and others refer to themselves as a "raza" but, again, this is a misuse of the term. To lump a group of people, i.e., all Dominican men, into one group to say that they are all ..something... IS HOWEVER a form of racism or ethnic bashing.

So you had a bad experience, I am sorry for you but this doesn't mean all individuals are like that - whether they are Canadians, Dominicans, Germans, French, or Chinese. AND comparing yourself to a RAPE VICTIM - SHAME ON YOU!! A rape victim is a victim of a violent crime who had no control over the situation. You had a choice - to walk away or say no. So I hope you learned something and get on with your life Carmen, but stop bashing all Dominicans for the actions of a few individuals.
 
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Lori

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I am not ignorant, I now from experience. Don't even try to judge me. I know from a lot of your posts that some are very helpful. There is also no arguing with you. I do not have the time to waist on this. I wanted everyone to know that there IS TRUTH to what she is saying.
Lori
 
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Sarah

Guest
La Raza

It is a term I've heard many Hispanics use. Do you consider Dominicans Hispanic? Then it's a race. Right?

PERSONALLY, I couldn't care less. God created all of us equally and in His image. We're ALL one. Like it or leave it, it is the TRUTH. But I had to make a point, and so used the term "racist" because that is what Lisa, "Carmen" and anyone else is who refers to whole groups of people in derogatory terms. Please suggest a better term for future use, if there is such.

And, for the record, the reason for engaging in "questionable and distasteful" discussions is to right the wrong. I see nothing wrong with you or anyone else contributing when defending a cause such as human justice.
 
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Lori

Guest
Re: Here's the truth...Lori, "Carmen", et al...

This is the reason I have not been posting to much lately. You do not know me at all. I have been on this board for about 2 1/2 years In the begining I responded to all types fo posts never in a negative way. Lately I have been watching and I do not like what I see. Every time someone posts something that someone does not like certain people jump on them. Well you know what I have seen almost all the people from when I started die off and so will I. I'm sorry to see that this board which I have enjoyed so much over the past couple of years to end up like this.

Calling me a racist shows your ignorance.

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS A QUESTION CAN YOU JUST ANSWER IT?

LORI
 
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Sarah

Guest
Re: Here's the truth...Lori, "Carmen", et al...

Neither you nor "Carmen" asked a question. You attacked. I defended. YOU put yourself in "Carmen's" camp. Not me.

Apparently you aren't "watching" as closely as you think you are. Many of my posts are simply answers to direct questions.
 
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tgf

Guest
Re: La Raza (right or wrong)

Are the Hispanics a separate race? No! Not biologically according to any of the accepted views today. Is this used as a social category for the unification of a group to have more political clout, yes. Are Dominicans an ethnic group, yes. Do Dominicans share cultural traits with other Hispanic groups, yes. Do they share distinct differences with, say Peruvians and Mexicans, again, yes.

What I am trying to convey is that race is used with such ambiguity and inaccuracy that it has lost any real utility. Caucasians, Asiatics, Sub-Saharan Africans, Melanesians (these are the traditional biological racial categories) share more genetic similarities than differences by far. Genetically, we are all one species Homo sapien sapiens. Phenotypically (the outward expression of genetic body traits), we exhibit a wide array of variation. Straight hair, curly hair, dark skin-light skin, etc. There are core areas of genetic types with clines radiating outward with increasing variations overlapping over genetic types. All very complicated and the general scientific consensus is that biological race has limited utility due to its general ambiguity.

The usage you are referring to in stating LA RAZA is a sociological one. It comes with social baggage attached. It is used to develop an US versus THEM mentality to further political, economic, and/or religious ends. That Hispanics use LA RAZA is a way of combating years of "racism" or better termed ethnic blasting by "Caucasian-Americans." It is to unify people to achieve sociological ends, i.e. better representation and clout in the arena of politics, economics, and education. I'm all for the achieving of this goal by the various ethnic groups who fall under the heading of "Hispanics." Hope this helps clarify a convoluted issue.
 
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Natasha

Guest
Yes Lori, there is no arguing with me when it comes to generalizations about any group of people, specially those generalizations that are utterly ABSURD, *DUMB* and MEAN-SPIRITED.

If it rubs you the wrong way that I reply to "Carmen's" post, then that is your problem. Frankly, you are going to be judged when your contribution to the thread is, "The board police has spoken. Admit it there is truth to her post". What is there to admit, Lori? What is the so called truth that you have twice now proclaimed? MY TRUTH might be very different than yours. That is why we cannot afford to engage in dumb generalizations. I was not going to touch this thread because there wasn't even an iota of intelligence to it. Two days later I decided to throw in my two cents since no one was really responding in the manner that most of us here would agree the original post deserved. As you have seen from the other posters, I guess I am not the only board police around here.

Natasha
 
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tgf

Guest
Re:Lori

This is a public board and anything that goes up is open to public comment. You have to be able to defend yourself or take the heat.

There's truth to the these statements as well: French like snails, Americans are loud and obnoxious, Mexicans like spicy foods, etc. See, I bet I can find at least a few examples of every one of these, so it must be "true." What Natasha said about truth is very good. Yes, I don't doubt some Dominican males let their foreign wives work while they don't. Yes, some Dominican relatives will ask their foreign relations for monetary handouts while not working. I can also think of many others that do no such thing. Yes, I agree that some Dominicans who have never been abroad think that the streets are paved with gold in Europe and North America. But if asked for money, you can always say no and explain that you work very hard for what you make and that you do not have an endless supply to give away. That's your option, mate.
 
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Dee DeMusis

Guest
Re: Terrific relationship with a Dominican Man!

I have to agree with Phyllis. There are baddies all over the place and I'm one of the ones in the minority that have a wonderful Dominican partner...BUT He is NOT an "incountry" Dominican; he's been here in the US [NYC]since '65.

I did have a relationship with an "incountry" and got used. I'm NOT saying that all Dominican men are bad because that's patently untrue. But the ones who use and abuse give the real gentlemen a bad name.

My partner is what is termed a Dominican-York...Born and raised there for a whole and then came here. The American culture blended with the Dominican/Latino is very nice.

So I guess it's fair to say that perhaps we shouldn'tthrow out the baby with the bath water: take people on a case by case/individual basis.
 
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Jo Anne

Guest
Re: Sarah - What you said is What I meant, thanks

Looking back on the first Dominican male that I ever met, he was my guide who was responsible to get me in and out of the pueblo where my sponsored child lives. This wonderful man spent his weekend and a holidy with us to make the visit a success. He never complained. He became our friend and to this day is someone whom I hold in high regard. My second experience with a Dominican male was with the father of my sponsored child. This man works ten times harder than I ever could in my life!!! Cutting sugar cane is physically demanding work. He works up to 15 hours a day to support his family. As for his wife, yes, she stays home, but I saw nothing luxurious about her life. I saw her washing clothes by hand, empty a bed pan, and helping her children with their homework. Did I judge them? You bet, but not in the way that most people think. I saw a man who came home from work and had his children running up to him to say hello and hug him. I saw poor parents from the monetary standpoint, but when it came to the love and respect of their children, they are much richer than most American families that I know, including my own.
 
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Tom

Guest
Re: La Raza

". Please suggest a better term for future use, if there is such"

Prejudice
 
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