dominican mother in law versus gringa mother in law

dalila05

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Aug 9, 2008
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this post is not be taken too seriously and also it's not a personal attack against dominicans but just a vision of my current life living with my dominican mother in law.someone i do love very much but who does amaze me everyday.
morning:my mother get up and make sure that everyone is having a breakfast/my mother in law get up and make sure she is having her breakfast.

later on:my mother is helping me cleaning,changing my daughter nappies/my mother in law is checking her hair,make up and her nail also(she does once in a while ask if i need any help,but not often).

lunch:my mother is cooking lunch,beautiful food as always/my mother in law is waiting for her food and she sometimes eat standing up in the kitchen,of course all the vegetables stay on the plate.

afternoon:my mom ironing my husband clothes/my mother is law is checking again her hair and make up
later on:my mother taking my daughter to the park and playing with her around/my mother in law will find a quiet place in the park without sun and will fall asleep.

dinner:my mother is cooking again beautiful food/my mother in law is watching a soap opera.

my mother lost about 40 pounds with weight watchers recently/my mother in law think she on diet by eating only carbohydrates and chocolate,drinking sugary coffee all day .

nightime:my mom is doing the washing up/my mother in law is doing her doobie and smoking in the balcony.

she eventually look after my daughter when im working but she doesnt cook/clean and if her lunch is not ready she will look so depressed,lol.
i got used really,it even make me laugh ,i think the most upset is my husband.
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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Listen, its hard being a Prima Dona, believe me I know! It IS necessary to check your hair 4x per hour. The blowouts get it so straight that any little wind will put it in disarray and the LAST thing we want is to look like white girls look with their hair all over the place (no offence white girls!). She IS pushing it with the makeup checking, quality makeup will fix that (tell her to check out MAC), lipgloss touching up is allowed.
How could you expect us ti cook or clean? For goodness sakes, lady, we are descendants of royalty!
Vegetables are a waste of time, a multi vitamin does the same thing! A cigarette a day keeps the doctor away. And doobies are a must, and a very technical skill, one stray hair can mess yo the whole 'do!
Give La suegra a break...its hard being Queen Bee! LOL

SHALENA
 

jrjrth

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Mar 24, 2011
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Hey I wouldn't complain if I were you, it sounds like you have the bull by the horn....what exactly are you doing while Mom cooks, cleans, n cleans n cooks.....R u hittin the doobie with Mom in Law:cool:
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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The bit about the "doobie" made me :surprised but I think she must mean "tubi".
 

Chip

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Jul 25, 2007
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The bit about the "doobie" made me :surprised but I think she must mean "tubi".

I thought tubi was what women wrap their hair with after they go to the salon?.

BTW, my "mil" is a hard worker and won't eat until everyone has gotten their food first.
 

Chirimoya

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"Tubi" is the hair straightening method where they wind their hair round their head with hairpins.
"Doobie" - well, if you can remember doing it, you weren't there, or you didn't inhale :D
 

AlterEgo

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BTW, my "mil" is a hard worker and won't eat until everyone has gotten their food first.

My mother-in-law rarely sits down and eats at the same table with us. She's 90 now, and still very active, always sweeping and cleaning in her house. HOWEVER, when she is in our home in the USA she doesn't do much, in her culture it would be impolite to interfere. It took forever before she would open the fridge and get something to drink or pick on - she was very proud of the fact that she would 'never put her hand on our fridge door'. One day she was trying to make coffee on our electric stove, and the burner didn't get hot. My husband called me into the kitchen to check it out, and I said 'Oh, that stupid burner does that sometimes, you have to push it in to make better contact.' Well, immediately she started yelling at my husband that she is not stupid....the only word she understood of my sentence. He tried to explain, but to this day she's sure I called her stupid because Dominicans don't call inanimate objects 'stupid', only people. She rarely did anything, no cooking, no cleaning, no nothing.

Now....fast forward to our home in DR. THERE she's the Queen Bee. She totally takes over, so much so that I feel uncomfortable stepping foot into my own kitchen, because it's her house when she's there. She doesn't live with us, doesn't even live in the same city. One weekend last visit she was highly offended because my husband told her I had already cooked dinner. I was exasperated. My husband thinks she feels that I am 'on vacation' [for months?????] and shouldn't "do" anything except relax. How can I relax and let a 90-yr-old woman wait on me??????

Culture. Culture. Culture........ After 34 years in a Dominican family I'm still learning some of the ropes.

Your mother-in-law might feel it's "your" house????? Have you ever asked her to make one of your husband's favorite dinners? Ask her to teach you how to make something you like that she makes? They liked to feel needed as much as the next person. Can your mom and her communicate in the same language? Could she feel like a 5th wheel?

I ask myself these same questions, please don't be offended!

AE
 

AJL6767

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Apr 14, 2011
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My mother-in -law is up in the sky now, but fortunately she is not in an airplane. When she was alive, I took her to "Shark Beach " up on the north shore. When the sharks are nearing the beach, the lifeguards raise a green flag so everyone can push their mother-in-laws into the water. I did that and the sharks swam off. They later sent me an e-mail and said that they would prefer to die rather than eat anything that sour
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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Doobie in my vernacular means smoking a joint, but I'm sure that's not what she means. My mother-in-law is a joy. Never complains, cooks, washes clothing, makes beds, is healthy and happy ( very dry sense of humour) and makes sure the overgrown teenagers that devour food in my house are under control.
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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Ok people, I don't know what race the OP is but we black people do call it DOOBIE. My Dominican stylist here calls it a DOOBIE, my son's Dominican aunts call it DOOBIE, my Dominican stylish in Santiago called it DOOBIE.
So, I'm not sure why everybody thinks she made a mistake

SHALENA
 

dalila05

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Aug 9, 2008
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no im not offended at all.as i say the most upset is my husband.i have a very good relationship with her,we speak spanish together and we understand each other quite well.yes i did ask hermany times to cook for her son,even for easter she refused to made some habichuela con dulce.and im gonna be honest,she is feeling quite at ease,as im quite laid back .
she is just a laisy,punto!my mother is spending the week with us and seeing the way they both behave made think about our cultural difference.
of course everyone is different and being dominican doesnt mean you are laisy.i was just having some fun doing this post :)
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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Ok people, I don't know what race the OP is but we black people do call it DOOBIE. My Dominican stylist here calls it a DOOBIE, my son's Dominican aunts call it DOOBIE, my Dominican stylish in Santiago called it DOOBIE.
So, I'm not sure why everybody thinks she made a mistake

SHALENA
The OP is Algerian/French living in the UK, n'est ce pas, dalila? In Dominican Spanish it's tubi. Makes sense though - the two meanings of "doobie" in English have a shared origin - something to do with rolling?

ETA looked it up on YouTube and the top hits all refer to the other meaning and the Doobie Brothers. The sites that mention it as a hair straightening method claim it was invented "in the Dominican" but I know for a fact that it is also a common hair-straightening method in the Middle East.
 
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AlterEgo

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I've never heard of a tubi, and the only doobies I've ever heard of were illegal:eek:

But after reading the description I remember a Jewish girlfriend with long straight hair back in the 60's who used to do that wrapping of wet hair with pins. Took forever to dry. I thought she invented it, haha. Never saw anyone else do it.

Who knew???

DR1 = live and learn

AE
 

dalila05

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Aug 9, 2008
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The OP is Algerian/French living in the UK, n'est ce pas, dalila? In Dominican Spanish it's tubi. Makes sense though - the two meanings of "doobie" in English have a shared origin - something to do with rolling?

ETA looked it up on YouTube and the top hits all refer to the other meaning and the Doobie Brothers. The sites that mention it as a hair straightening method claim it was invented "in the Dominican" but I know for a fact that it is also a common hair-straightening method in the Middle East.

oui c'est ca chiri :)
north africans womens are using the same method also.nothing new about it,dominicans did not invent it.
 

Shiraz72

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Feb 10, 2010
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Ok people, I don't know what race the OP is but we black people do call it DOOBIE. My Dominican stylist here calls it a DOOBIE, my son's Dominican aunts call it DOOBIE, my Dominican stylish in Santiago called it DOOBIE.
So, I'm not sure why everybody thinks she made a mistake

SHALENA

LOL thanks for clarifying... cuz i was thinking maybe all that doobie smokin is the reason she don't feel like doin anything...that song "and then I got high" comes to mind.... LMAO