Dominican Republic Values

[frank recktenwald]

For the benefit of the OP who hasn't said if he's ever been to the DR, it's important to make a distinction between valuing family and so-called "family-values."

I would say family would be first on a short list of things of importance to Dominicans. That means relatives, including extended ones are your top concern. So things like helping them out, letting them stay with you, feeding them are important.

Family values, to me, imply things like the importance a family places on passing down it's beliefs to the next generation. It comes in the form of the lessons we teach our kids. Not limited to religious teachings, but that of course is included. All families do this in different degrees, but my opinion is that Dominicans don't particularly focus on overt teaching of values, generally. (And yes, I understand generalizations exclude many that may.)

So I wouldn't include "family values" in terms of passing down what each family values high on that list. Not sure if that makes sense. Maybe an example is out of wedlock births. Because family is important, out of wedlock births, even to very young teens, are embraced once they arrive, and loved and cared for to the best of family's ability. "We don't have children before marriage", is not widely taught, which is a common value one would expect from a country claiming 90% Catholics.

Actually, FAMILY, FAMILY, and FAMILY would be my top 3 picks, it's that important.

Cabanas exist to protect the family, the wife and her children so they don't have to see what the husband does. He gets his needs met, while they continue to be provided for. Many men who cheat are very protective of their family and provide for them and will defend them. So I don't see Cabanas at odds with respecting the sanctity of the family unit. Again, it's not within our definiton of family values that men visit Cabanas, but their visits actual consider the family.

May be a matter of semantics, but this is for a project, and I think a whole paper could be written about family values vs. valuing the family.

Sorry that's BS, I'm pretty sure that there are as much or more women who cheat on their husbands as vice versa. The Dominican woman is far from being an angel and a victim. The thing is that the cabanas are quite often a lot nicer than their own homes and they like to knock boots in style.

 

[jackcrew]

To the OP, tccstudent, you are getting some valuable cultural insights here. Both Frank Recktenwald and La Rubia are alluding to a rich difference which would be gold in your Powerpoint.

For instance, what is the greater value? To destroy the family unit and get a divorce due to a man needing to have sex with others? Or sneak off and have sex in a cabana with a stranger but be home in time for dinner with the family, thus protecting it? La Rubia demonstrats a different cultural value.

Frank Recktenwald also points out a different type of cheating. Would you give someone your identification so that he could play professional baseball in the United States, lifting his family out of sever poverty and eventually bringing income to the whole community by way of charities (as a few MLB players do). Or keep your identity denying him the opportunity to play professional baseball just because the former is "wrong"?

Keep in mind, you judge a culture by its own standards; not by your own nation's standards.

 

[Randall Bell]

Regarding the family values thing - I would like to add that while it's true that people here get together with family more often than outside this country, ie. christmas, birthdays etc, they also seem to rip off family members a lot more!!

 

[Givadogahome]

Sorry that's BS, I'm pretty sure that there are as much or more women who cheat on their husbands as vice versa. The Dominican woman is far from being an angel and a victim. The thing is that the cabanas are quite often a lot nicer than their own homes and they like to knock boots in style.

Although I agree with your point. I think it has to be acknowledged that Dominican men are in general like dogs on heat 24/7, from the age of 10 until they die. Men seem to hit adolescence and never grow through it. Men just want to bonk anything with an ass and without a willy.
I wouldn't even leave my pet pig in a room with one, it has tits and its ass wobbles and so not unlike a woman in their eyes, not to be trusted.

 

[La Rubia]

Sorry that's BS, I'm pretty sure that there are as much or more women who cheat on their husbands as vice versa. The Dominican woman is far from being an angel and a victim. The thing is that the cabanas are quite often a lot nicer than their own homes and they like to knock boots in style.

Well, men do go to the Cabanas with someone. I'm no sexpert, but I'd say the women they tend to go with are girlfriends, mistresses, single ladies, and not married women.

I don't know where married women cheat, but I don't think it's in Cabanas. It may be in the matrimonal bed with el compadre while the marido is elsewhere.

No, now that I think about it, have you ever seen an 80 year old woman (who wasn't the owner) in a cabana, vs. an 80 year old man?

Not saying married ladies never cheat, but that whole cabana industry isn't about servicing them.

 

[La Rubia]

Although I agree with your point. I think it has to be acknowledged that Dominican men are in general like dogs on heat 24/7, from the age of 10 until they die. Men seem to hit adolescence and never grow through it. Men just want to bonk anything with an ass and without a willy.
I wouldn't even leave my pet pig in a room with one, it has tits and its ass wobbles and so not unlike a woman in their eyes, not to be trusted.

That's so awful! . . . . . . . . Awfully funny!

I'll wait for that lone Dominican male to say it isn't so!

 

[bob saunders]

I'm gonna have to disagree on that one. Collectivism means thinking about your community before thinking about yourself. We all know that kind of thinking is foreign here... this country is all about the individual and his (mainly his) rights first.

Also, sure there's lots of 'talk' about family values here, but it's mostly talk. Cabanas exist because family values don't.

Depends on the family. Most Dominicans only trust family members, and even if they know their relatives are bad, they still stick up for them most of the time.

 

[frank recktenwald]

Well, men do go to the Cabanas with someone. I'm no sexpert, but I'd say the women they tend to go with are girlfriends, mistresses, single ladies, and not married women.

I don't know where married women cheat, but I don't think it's in Cabanas. It may be in the matrimonal bed with el compadre while the marido is elsewhere.

No, now that I think about it, have you ever seen an 80 year old woman (who wasn't the owner) in a cabana, vs. an 80 year old man?

Not saying married ladies never cheat, but that whole cabana industry isn't about servicing them.

The whole cabana is about the SEX GOD and therefore not having a pipi nor a popolita it's for the ones that are in heat with the only male thing being about is that the male normally has to pay for it.

Screwing the husband's compadre in a cabana is safer than in your own bed and let me tell you that it happens a lot that women cheat, they're no angels. What about married secretaries who screw their boss during lunch as an example. Plse women are as k9 as men.
Now about an 80 year old women with whom could she cheat? Don't think that many men would like to take an iron to bed.
Who do you think the 80 year old will bed?......

 

[gringostudent]

The Dominican Republic has values like nowhere Ive ever been. It is a culture full of contradictions and idiosyncracies that are very difficult to understand for an outsider.
It reminds me a lot of Southern Black american culture, with spanish and catholic influences and some other stuff that is easier to recognize than explain that is just totally dominican.

 

[Berzin]

1) Some Dominicans are very passionate when they want you to believe something that isn't true. This goes beyond mere lying, it is something else entirely and must be experienced first-hand, because it involves a lot of unique hand gestures and posturing.

2) Some Dominicans are very clannish when it comes to family vs. outsiders. Marrying into a family isn't going to change this unless you are the one they can come to for help, and even then it's still won't be the same.

3) Nothing moves forward until it is accepted that someone else is at fault for whatever it was that either went wrong or wasn't done.

4) If you've been fleeced by a Dominican, don't take it personal. They do it to each other all the time.

5) Some Dominicans are able to navigate the contradictions within their culture by not making a big production about it, or by over-analyzing said contradictions, like for example how passionately Catholic many Dominicans are in everything except deeds.

6) There are many conservative Dominicans to offset the ones who believe in an "anything goes" type of existence.

7) Dominicans are nowhere near as uptight as some foreigners would have you believe. Example-if a Dominican finds out you've been to Sosua and actually had a good time, you won't be excommunicated from their inner circle. Tell them an amusing story about your time there and have everyone laughing. That should do the trick.

 

[Michele Jimenez D]

A combination of Latino in the machismo, cabanas, drinking, family solidarity, pride, and Catholic traditions but not beliefs. Strong US influence in their desire for material toys such as cars, phones, sneakers, games, etc., and a Caribbean laid back attitude, no rush, many children, sankies, spend what you earn lifestyle...Real winners in baseball!

 

[Contango]

Id like to add that Dominicans love Cell Phones more than any other Culture Ive ever seen. Many have two phones and will be texting while talking on the other. Yes they love their Cell Phones more than anywhere else Ive ever seen to the point of completely zoning out to the World around them. When the Cell phone rings or an email alert comes in the World stops until the phone is answered or the email read.

 

[karlheinz]

I am currently taking intercultural comminication in college and one of my assignments is to do a ppt over the DR I need a little bit of help. I need to know some of the individual values and beliefs of the DR culture.

As has been said before, Family taking care of Family; I've yet to see a Nursing Home here in the sense of sending away the old folks to a home. Taking care of the elderly seems to be a matter of pride and sense of duty and what is right. I love it when I see several people take an older womans hand to help her cross the street. Rarely do you see that kind of behavior in the US anymore.

Karlheinz

 

[dv8]

dominican values? easy. first you need to look up few dominicans who made it: zoe saldana, oscar de la renta, juan luis guerra, alex rodriguez. then you figure out what it is that put them where they are and that motivates them until today? so, respectively, we have: beliving in yourself, hard work, love for the music and shagging madonna.
done.

 

[pedrochemical]

dominican values? easy. first you need to look up few dominicans who made it: zoe saldana, oscar de la renta, juan luis guerra, alex rodriguez. then you figure out what it is that put them where they are and that motivates them until today? so, respectively, we have: beliving in yourself, hard work, love for the music and shagging madonna.
done.

The first three are all things we could do.
The fourth... I wouldn't inflict that on my best friend...

 

[beeza]

Aren't cabanas used by married couples too? I would think that they visit them for a little privacy as many live in extended families in one house.

I can't believe that this industry has sprung from the fact that all Dominican men are promiscuous and unfaithful.




Scratch that! I've just asked my Dominican wife and her opinion is that the majority of cabana users are cheating men!

 

[JMB773]

1) Some Dominicans are very passionate when they want you to believe something that isn't true. This goes beyond mere lying, it is something else entirely and must be experienced first-hand, because it involves a lot of unique hand gestures and posturing.

2) Some Dominicans are very clannish when it comes to family vs. outsiders. Marrying into a family isn't going to change this unless you are the one they can come to for help, and even then it's still won't be the same.

3) Nothing moves forward until it is accepted that someone else is at fault for whatever it was that either went wrong or wasn't done.

4) If you've been fleeced by a Dominican, don't take it personal. They do it to each other all the time.

5) Some Dominicans are able to navigate the contradictions within their culture by not making a big production about it, or by over-analyzing said contradictions, like for example how passionately Catholic many Dominicans are in everything except deeds.

6) There are many conservative Dominicans to offset the ones who believe in an "anything goes" type of existence.

7) Dominicans are nowhere near as uptight as some foreigners would have you believe. Example-if a Dominican finds out you've been to Sosua and actually had a good time, you won't be excommunicated from their inner circle. Tell them an amusing story about your time there and have everyone laughing. That should do the trick.

You hit it right on the nail!!! I have never witness the art of lying like I do in the DR and these people are regular people, not lawyers, used car salesman or even politicians. When a person is very good a deception it could be very dangerous. The sad part is some Dominicans BELIEVE that lie they are trying to lay on you.

I do not mind when people tell a little white lie for example my daughter's mother here everytime she lies she LAUGHS she is horrible at telling lies. Now my Dominican wife has a MASTERS DEGREE in lying.

 

[dv8]

i really think we need chip to chip in here. school presentations are not about thruth - they are about meeting teacher's expectations and duplicating general patterns. one could say the same fictional crap about all nations, ages, races and what not and still be true. the trick is to base the theory on examples: use names, dates and facts to back it up.

say juan luis guerra: well educated man with wide interest and real passion about music. not to mention immense and rare talent. based on this one could say that dominicans value is, if not preparation and education then at least real, heart felt passion. which, accidentally, would be quite true.

of course an example much close to the souls of dominican people is alex rodriguez, sammy sosa or any other basesomething player (sorry, not into sports). in this case one could say dominicans value a dream. a dream of a better future (and a perspective of madonna shagging, possibly) that empowers them to try, try and keep on trying, to fight, to compete, to win.
oscar de la renta? hard work, dedication and time. what dominican values span from his story? faith that even here, at the edge of the world, in poor conditions it is possible to rise above others with talent and charisma.
i will skip zoe saldana because to me she is a part of talentless, thin hollywood crowd where everyone looks and feels exactly the same, not to mention she was born in snookie's land. but at worst you could spin her story to back up an american dream ethos...

 

[Chip]

The Dominicans I associate with are a lot different than most of the 99% of the posters. Some are wealthy and some aren't. Some go to church regularly and some don't. Some would like to live in the US but many do not. Some have their own businesses and others don't. Most are exceedingly polite and "educated" as the term is used here and are honest, God fearing normal people - the opposite of tigueres.

I hear opinions like Berzin's and others I've mentioned and I chuckle. How can anyone know how Dominican families "work" if they've never married into one and live here??? People are making insights into something they can only guess at from a distance. One can't make an accurate assessment of Dominican culture by hanging out with barrio tigureres and or prostitutes. Even then if you have a decent Dominican friend that doesn't mean you know how the family works unless one has lived with them for years, good grief.

 

[gringostudent]

Somebody mentioned how they like to see how dominicans will help old ladies walk across the street. They do the same for pregnant ladies. How sweet. Then if a gua gua comes and smashes some guy on the same street they will all go watch him die while taking photos on their blackberries (that have no carga) to put up on feibeu.

Its stuff like that that I could never wrap my mind around. After a couple of years, I figured out how to get around and be happy. When you land at the airport, right when everybody starts clapping, go in your mind to the place that logic comes from. Turn that place off. Everything will make sense and you will be a lot more happy.