Ex-pats: Who did you leave behind?

InsanelyOne

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Oct 21, 2008
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I've always been curious about the motivation behind leaving one's home country. I personally come from a large family and dearly miss my father/brothers/sisters/friends. I hate logging on to Facebook and seeing the birthday parties, picnics, football Sundays that I'm missing. There are so many people that I miss it makes me wonder about those that have relocated here. Do you not have friends and family back home? Is that not important to you? What about your children. Do you care that they grow up not knowing their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins?
 

KateP

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May 28, 2004
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All of my family lives back in Canada and yes, it sometimes gets a bit hard but Facebook to me is the best tool to stay in contact. Even though I'm not there in person, I see my niece and nephews grow up (we chat on skype and messenger every once in a while), see the pictures of the trips my mom does and for me it's almost enough. Keep in mind, I've been in the DR for 15 years so I've sort of gotten used to being at a distance. Also, I visit my family for 3 weeks every year and my mom comes down at least once a year, sometimes for weeks at a time. I'm more aware of what goes on in her life than my brother who lives 15 minutes from her place lol
 

slas7713

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Aug 9, 2004
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A few years ago I was discussing life with my brother and he said, "You know, we used to travel and go and do so much stuff when we were younger, and now we just go through our daily life routines. We're not making memories anymore, we're just reliving them."

Life is short and in my opinion you should continue to "make memories" as long as possible. With any luck, when we get to that age of settling down, we'll have plenty of time to sit around with friends and family to relive all those wonderful memories.
 

jrhartley

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Sep 10, 2008
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if i missed them I wouldnt have left- wouldnt have left while my mother and father were alive

shouldnt you be asking yourself the question why you left people you miss
 

drstock

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Oct 29, 2010
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Cabarete
I left my ex-wife behind. Now we're thousands of miles apart we get on like a house on fire!
 

LaLouve

New member
Even if I do not live in the DR, I am an expat. I remember fully understanding what leaving meant when I crossed the barrier and could not go back and embrace my mom. For years, I wanted to go back and for years, my mother said: "It is maybe your country, but trust me you will be miserable if you came back." It has been 30 years ago last December, I used to have huge phone bills. Apart from some members of the family, I do not miss it. I consider myself very lucky to have my parents come live in Canada 18 years ago. My children grew up with them. My children know some members of my family since I took them back. As adults, the have affinities with 1 or 2 cousins and none with others. If there is one person I miss the most is my brother, but there is the phone, the e-mail, Skype, Facebook to keep in contact and catch up. When things used to get tough, I used to imagine those emigrants who left centuries ago or even in the 1900's. No phone, letters took up to 3 months to arrive to destination. Internet has made things easy. And once, we have children of our own, we tend to concentrate on them, which is also normal.
 

jeddom

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Nov 13, 2011
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We have been here for almost four years, and yes we do miss family and friends, but being from Canada we get quite a lot of visits especially in the winter months. I calculated that we see our kids more now as when the were living in our basement, when they would just fly by the refridgerator for food and out the door they went. Now they come here to the beach and we see them for 1 or 2 weeks 24 hours per day. I brought out the calculator and by the minute we see them more now then when we lived in the same house.
Remember that Toronto is only 3-1/2 hours away from here, whereas if we moved to say Vancouver (same country) it would be a five hour flight.
 

caribeman

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Dec 26, 2011
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Enjoy meeting new people/cultures
Great posts. I am leaving nothing. I analyzed what was happening here in the states, Mother is gone and family visit once or less a year. After not hearing from any one but one at Thanksgiving I am packing Dad up and we are coming back home - to the DR. It is now just he and I... and time for him to enjoy his retirement years and excited to enjoy them with him. Less stress, less worry about the materialistic, more serenity and unique life experiences. Guess the move is individually different for everyone. Bob.
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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parents, brother and a cat named kacper. i talk to them every week (cat included, my mum lets him rub all over the phone so i can hear him purr, he also meows when he hears my voice).
a bunch of friends. we exchange dozens of emails a day, talk on the phone and skype. i also get to see them whenever they want to warm their old bones in dominican sun.
 

TStroman3

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Sep 11, 2011
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I've lived half way across the country away from friends and family for nearly 12 years. My kids and I were always together and very close but they are starting their own lives now and are looking forward to hanging out with Mom when I make the permanent move! My businesses are only a 2 1/2 hour flight so... I think I will be good to go. I've always taken chances and loved a great adventure- looks like the DR is my next!:laugh:
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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I had lived away from my immediate family all my adult life anyway because there are limited career options where I come from. The difference being in the DR is an additional 6 hours on a plane and more expensive tickets. My parents can't hack the long-haul trip any more so I have to visit them, my sister and her family have only been to see me twice in 12 years mainly due to the expense. We go back every summer and are thinking of moving back in about 3 years time for my son to complete his secondary education and go to university in the UK.
 

InsanelyOne

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Oct 21, 2008
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Thanks everyone for your replies. I should have asked how old you were when you came to the DR. I was 41 when I first left the States (I'm 48 now). Before settling in the DR I was in Trinidad for 2 years and then Sint Maarten for 2 years.

Sadly, in all the time I've lived in the Caribbean no one in my family has been to visit (mostly due to lack of funds). I flew my father and step-mother down a couple of months ago and they had a wonderful time... they're now talking about relocating...LOL
 

pedrochemical

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Aug 22, 2008
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One of the side affects of moving somewhere beautiful is that people who never visited seem to come and visit.
The first year in the Mediterranean was just constant friends and family visiting.
Be warned!
 

windeguy

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2004
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One of the side affects of moving somewhere beautiful is that people who never visited seem to come and visit.
The first year in the Mediterranean was just constant friends and family visiting.
Be warned!
Interesting. Very few people I know have visited me in the DR. The DR is still not thought of by most Americans as a prime vacation spot. They are all too busy in the US trying to stay above water at this time or they live in California and it is just too far to go for the short vacation times they get. As for who I left behind in the US, nobody that is still alive save two good friends that I have not lived near to in 20 years.