Get in Where You Fit In

[Dark_Scorpion]

No, not talking about the Too Short CD.

For those that have lived here for a year or more or have visited over the years, where do you fit in Dominican society or do you?

Do you invite Dominicans over to your house; do you meet at neighborhood colomados, drink, restaurants, or events to hang out?

Do you keep to yourself or socialize only with other expats and people from your home country?

I keep to myself. I do not socialize with Dominicans. Unless you call going into a Colmado to buy some milk socializing. I don't socialize with other foreigners either. Much of that has to do with the fact that I'm a solitary man who doesn't trust anyone. Where do I fit in into Dominican society? Nowhere really. I don't fit in anywhere in the world. I might as well be a man from another planet. And the truth is that it doesn't bother me. I've lived here for over a year and haven't made a single friend. And it doesn't bother me in the least.

The only Dominicans that I've invited into my home has been whores. And I kept my eye on them. The only reason I invite the whores into my home is that it is the only place I'm truly comfortable having sex. No way I will go to some strange Cabana or any other place. I don't trust a Dominicana enough to go to her place(Ambush alert). My home is where I feel secure. It is the only place in the DR where I feel secure. It is the only place on Earth where I feel secure.

 

[Xavier_Onassis]

To each his own.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

I wonder how many long time foreigners have settled in " successfully" without long term partners. It seems like most have a permanent relationship.

I've settled in without a long term partner. But you could say that I'm an anomaly. I no longer have a desire to actually be in a relationship with a Dominican woman. I merely wish to impregnate her. Thats it. I'm kind of like a reptile like that. I don't even miss my family from the USA. I haven't seen my brother in years and it doesn't bother me. I haven't seen my cousins and aunts in over 10 years and it doesn't bother me. if I didn't see my mother agains for the rest of my life it would not bother me. I guess I'm different from other men. I have no real need for..........attachments.

 

[RG84]

I've settled in without a long term partner. But you could say that I'm an anomaly.

No Dark S, you're just a person like everybody else. Different stories that all. Just be good to yourself.

 

[bob saunders]

I can't imagine being "white" and living in the Campo. Moving target. If Black it might be a little bit less stressful. I'm just wondering if you look more like a Dominican respectively?

The campo around Jarabacoa is filled with white people, or what Dominicans classify as white. There seems to be no issue in regards to colour whether you are black as coal or white as milk.

 

[Xavier_Onassis]

Why on Earth would you want to impregnate a woman you do not know?

Of course, if the Overlords of Planet Koozbane sent you here on a mission of intergalactic conquest, it is perfectly comprehensible.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

No Dark S, you're just a person like everybody else. Different stories that all. Just be good to yourself.

Ironically there is one person that reminds me of.........me. He was the president of this counry. His name was Joaquin Balaguer. I was reading about him in my history book. Me and that guy are so alike it is incredible. Balaguer never married but had a bunch of kids as I desire. Like me he was too solitary and resentful to ever marry. Balaguer also loved writing just like me. He was a poet. He was also secretive just as I'm secretive. Dominicans never really knew him. They never understood what made him tick. He was a Machiavellian like me but way better at it. He kept every one in the dark. Never told anyone his plan. Joaquin Balaquer had to be an introvert like me quite possibly the same personality type. He sounds like a text book INTJ if I ever saw one.

Balaguer had to be an INTJ. He had to be. At the very least he was a rational introvert. As president he did things that I to would do if I were the Dominican president. This includes the brutal things he did. I would do all the same. When he died no one could figure out where his money was. If he is an INTJ as I believe he was......they never will. We Masterminds are good at keeping our secrets. And I have dark secrets indeed. As did Balaguer.

 

[bob saunders]

We are too busy working to socialize much, but when we do it's usually old friends of my wife's that she has since she was a child. Some are rich, some are poor, most are in between. I occasionally golf with Ponciano B, a 60ish Dental technician that also owns several battery shops, one in Santo Domingo and one in Jarabacoa. He is an excellent golfer, extremely funny and generous man with impeccable manners that treats everyone the same. I'm nether social or unsocial. We get invited to most municipal government functions as well as the PLD parties as several of my wife's friends are very active in that party. We also attend a lot of funerals, and they are often social events. We are good friends with several local artists and writers who like to practice their English with me. Many of these people have travel extensively. We would be going on a Caribbean cruise at Easter with such a group if we hadn't already bought tickets to Canada.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

Why on Earth would you want to impregnate a woman you do not know?

I'm not really sure. What I do know is that I have no need to love her. She just need to be a gorgeous specimen. I guess I'm just driven by basic biological impulses. Sometimes I feel I have more in common with a lizard or snake than a human.

I don't understand love or emotions or romance. Those things don't make sense to me. But passing down your genes so your lineage can survive as long as possible? That makese sense. And honestly it doesn't matter how its done. Balaguer refused to see his kids while he was president. He was a hit and run dad. I wouldn't be that bad. But I would essentially be the same as him. A man who never marries with a bunch of illegitimate children.

 

[dv8]

I must say I have hardly any experience of a close Dominican (relative or friend) that tries to take advantage of me. But I don't make friends very easy, maybe that filters the cockroaches out (both here and in my country).

i'm in the same spot. every time i read here about "marry a dominican equals marrying his/her whole family" i pause and ponder the situation. we received a lot of financial help over the years from my in-laws who set a good start for all their kids. no one has ever leeched on us.

but unlike you i have no friends among dominicans. there are a few foreigners i am close with but it's not what i would call a proper relationship either.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

i'm in the same spot. every time i read here about "marry a dominican equals marrying his/her whole family" i pause and ponder the situation.

Exactly. I'm not trying to marry someone's family. I have no relationship with my own family back in the USA. There is no way I will work with a Dominican girl's family. That is one of the many reasons I won't marry. Another reason is because I will never ever be faithful to one woman. The very idea of having sex with one woman for the rest of my life is.......absolutely insane. No way. Marrying a Dominicana and her family means being subservient and controlled by them. I don't want to be controlled by anyone. I do things my own way. I have my own path. I resent my American family because they try to control me. I didn't come to the DR to be controlled by my wife's family.

Also too many Dominican women already have children. That means if you marry them you become a step dad. And as I said before I behave like certain animals like bears and lions. Lions and bears kill cubs that don't belong to them. Not saying I would go that far but I would do nothing for my step children and would not feel any love or emotion for them. I can never and will never raise another man's children.

 

[toriemannetje]

I'm not really sure. What I do know is that I have no need to love her. She just need to be a gorgeous specimen. I guess I'm just driven by basic biological impulses. Sometimes I feel I have more in common with a lizard or snake than a human.

I don't understand love or emotions or romance. Those things don't make sense to me. But passing down your genes so your lineage can survive as long as possible? That makese sense. And honestly it doesn't matter how its done. Balaguer refused to see his kids while he was president. He was a hit and run dad. I wouldn't be that bad. But I would essentially be the same as him. A man who never marries with a bunch of illegitimate children.

i was just scrolling through all the post till i read this one then i went back to what you?ve wrote before. dude, you failed in life man! damn!

 

[toriemannetje]

No, not talking about the Too Short CD.

For those that have lived here for a year or more or have visited over the years, where do you fit in Dominican society or do you?

Do you invite Dominicans over to your house; do you meet at neighborhood colomados, drink, restaurants, or events to hang out?

Do you keep to yourself or socialize only with other expats and people from your home country?

my place is to somehow put a smile on people their face! i?m a lot to be found in the barios, people over there have such a messed up life that the deep down happyness is not there at all.

i mean yeah they laugh and whatever, but the hurt and sadness in their eyes is there. i do have that deep down inside happyness because i come from a better background and i live life a bit better so when i go there i woke up with a big smile knowing i will go to sleep without worries.

por ejemplo, my first girl has a daughter and son, their father isn?t around and girl got like 6+ brothers and sisters in the same neighbourhood not taking these kids out, not spending time walking with them or buying pizza or going to sambil. i from time take those kids out and come back with a big fat pizza. i play with the kids and all that.

from where i come from that is normal, so i always come correct and with positive vibe.

since i moved no dudes are allowed here anymore, i'm tired of these always having hungry, never have money nor minutes but still walking around with bb type of dudes.

 

[keepcoming]

We mostly have family that come over. Only a small circle of friends, Dominican and expats. We socialize more on the weekends. My son has his friends over and my niece likes to come to the Capital with her friends. When I feel real daring I will invite a couple of the younger family members to spend the weekend and we will go to the pool, movies, out for pizza. I am fairly cautious on who we have over and/or who we socialize with. I learned a few things the hard way when I first moved here but you live and you learn. But as far as really "close" friends here, not really.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

i was just scrolling through all the post till i read this one then i went back to what you?ve wrote before. dude, you failed in life man! damn!

Your definition of "failure" is different from mine. Actually I've done quite well and avoided a bunch of pitfalls. In a few days I will be turning 32. A lot of men who come from my background don't make it to 32. You don't come from where I come from, and achieve the things I've achieved, by being a fool.

I've had set backs like everyone, but my successes have exceeded my failures. I've been self employed for over 9 years and, despite being hit by the economy I'm still hanging in there. Not only am I smart, I'm damn tough to. So fitting into the DR for me is no problem. I will adapt here just as I've always done. Matter of fact, when I joined DR1 for the first time and said I planned to move to the DR, some posters here said I wouldn't last a year. I've been here over a year and a half. But then again, people have been telling me that my whole life. And I always prove them wrong. I always will.

 

[Xavier_Onassis]

Congratulations on reaching the ripe old age of 32, despite your ominous background. Though I certainly would not call you or anyone I only know from chatroom conversations a failure, I do find it puzzling that you would want to impregnate a woman you do not know and have no desire to have a relationship with. I suppose that this is the role given to all manner of creatures from mollusks to silverbacks, but I think they do it more from instinct than specific intent. From a rational point of view, the human race is not faced with extinction regardless of what you do, and all your impregnation is likely to do is inflict hardship on someone you do not know.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

movies, out for pizza. I am fairly cautious on who we have over and/or who we socialize with. I learned a few things the hard way when I first moved here but you live and you learn. But as far as really "close" friends here, not really.

I'm an all or nothing type of guy. If it isn't a close friend then it isn't a friend. Maybe an acquaintance, but not a friend. Unless they will be by your bedside if your hospitalized in an injury, they are not your friend. But yeah, I hear you about being "cautious" about who you invite in your home. A very good rule to follow indeed. No one here in the DR really knows me and I plan to keep it that way. A character from the Game of Thrones(season 4 is just days away) says in that the more people know about you the more they can hurt you. The less they know the more secure you are. Its best not to have Dominicans up in your business.

 

[Xavier_Onassis]

A character from the Game of Thrones(season 4 is just days away) says in that the more people know about you the more they can hurt you. The less they know the more secure you are.

======================================
And character from Popeye said "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today".

Popeye himself often said, "I yam what I yam." This was before he was kidnapped and enslaved by Sailormen?, a fried chicken cartel operation out of New Orleans. No yams are available at a Popeye's restaurant, even on Thanksgiving, not even in pie form.

 

[Dark_Scorpion]

Congratulations on reaching the ripe old age of 32, despite your ominous background. Though I certainly would not call you or anyone I only know from chatroom conversations a failure, I do find it puzzling that you would want to impregnate a woman you do not know and have no desire to have a relationship with. I suppose that this is the role given to all manner of creatures from mollusks to silverbacks, but I think they do it more from instinct than specific intent. From a rational point of view, the human race is not faced with extinction regardless of what you do, and all your impregnation is likely to do is inflict hardship on someone you do not know.

Xavier, when I said the other day that I would impregnate a woman I didn't know, that was not true. I wasn't being honest with you guys or myself. The truth is that it would be foolish for me to do that. I would vet her carefully. First off I need to be sure that she isn't on drugs, doesn't smoke, and is in a good state of health. Why? Not because I truly care about her life, but for me the life of my child is all that matters. After she gives birth and provides me custody of the child, if she dies in an accident after that I would likely shed no tears, as she served her purpose.

I want to have and raise a child so that it gives my life a purpose. Without children all the money in the world is meaningless. I want to share what I have with someone I care about. And there is no one in this universe that I could truly love or care for other than a son or daughter. Love between a parent and child is unconditional. "Love" between men and women is always conditional. Anyway, I'd rather be a single father because I have little in common with Dominican women. We don't see the world in the same way. I want to continue living in the DR and have a kid here, but I have no desire to be with any of the local women in a traditional, long term relationship. Because too many of them already have kids by other men(which they will expect you to raise), and as a man who has read hundreds of books and is scholarly, its hard to communicate with a woman that hasn't even finished high school and has never left the island. But with a child I can raise, teach, instruct and mold them into a successful adult. And that gives me a reason to live. Honestly if I'm not going to have kids life is pretty worthless for me.

I like challenges and being a father is a great challenge. Being a SINGLE father is even greater. so for me fatherhood is a challenge that I want to accept........I just don't want the mother in the picture, for a variety of reasons.

 

[Mauricio]

Xavier, when I said the other day that I would impregnate a woman I didn't know, that was not true. I wasn't being honest with you guys or myself. The truth is that it would be foolish for me to do that. I would vet her carefully. First off I need to be sure that she isn't on drugs, doesn't smoke, and is in a good state of health. Why? Not because I truly care about her life, but for me the life of my child is all that matters. After she gives birth and provides me custody of the child, if she dies in an accident after that I would likely shed no tears, as she served her purpose.

I want to have and raise a child so that it gives my life a purpose. Without children all the money in the world is meaningless. I want to share what I have with someone I care about. And there is no one in this universe that I could truly love or care for other than a son or daughter. Love between a parent and child is unconditional. "Love" between men and women is always conditional. Anyway, I'd rather be a single father because I have little in common with Dominican women. We don't see the world in the same way. I want to continue living in the DR and have a kid here, but I have no desire to be with any of the local women in a traditional, long term relationship. Because too many of them already have kids by other men(which they will expect you to raise), and as a man who has read hundreds of books and is scholarly, its hard to communicate with a woman that hasn't even finished high school and has never left the island. But with a child I can raise, teach, instruct and mold them into a successful adult. And that gives me a reason to live. Honestly if I'm not going to have kids life is pretty worthless for me.

I like challenges and being a father is a great challenge. Being a SINGLE father is even greater. so for me fatherhood is a challenge that I want to accept........I just don't want the mother in the picture, for a variety of reasons.

I really really hope you will never have kids. You shouldn't.