Girls...here are "The Men Rules"

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Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
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<i>The Men's Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!</i>

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. When you learn what a roller cam is, we'll learn what damask is.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

1. It is not in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. FOOD is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.

From The Men...

<b><i>I want to know how many girls agree on any of these rules, and of course, I want the guys' opinions also!!</b></i>
 

jose?to

The thread finally snapped...
Jun 19, 2002
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No, really, what's damask?

-Jose?to
Decorating Mamindie's heart with the rich patterns of my love.
 

mkohn

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Jan 1, 2002
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If they thought their woman wouldn't send them camping every time they followed one of the rules, I think men might consider it a perfect world.

Of course, #1, and #1 are probably interchangeable, as if they've had one, they want the other.

Oh yeah, that would be FOOD and NOOKIE, on a rotational basis.
mk
 

Tony C

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Jan 1, 2002
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www.sfmreport.com
These are just Men's rules written by a woman!

We don't need Directions because, Unlike women, we know where we are and where we are going.

No not eveything you wear is fine. I am not taking you anywhere if you insist on dressing like a Skank Ho!

Dress Like a Victoria Secret Model and no I won't act like some Soap Opera homo!

Foriegn Movies are great Lots more Tit than American Movies

Cry all you want. You just look stupid!

Me? Couch? Haha. I paid for this house I'll sleep any damn place I like!

Hlywud....Life is not a 2 way street for real men. It is one way....My Way.

Ok Deal with it!
 

Jersey Devil

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Jul 5, 2002
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Musicqueen said:
<i>The Men's Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!</i>

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)


<b><i>I want to know how many girls agree on any of these rules, and of course, I want the guys' opinions also!!</b></i>
I think I can agree to most of those left listed above.

Personally I don't always scratch the itch. As to foreign
films, I truly enjoy some of them. Ikiru, 8 1/2, and my
favorite Kind Hearts and Coronets come to mind.

I am still looking for my list of Leykis 101 rules to post.

M
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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yahoomail.com
"MQ",want a man's opinion? You have too much time on your hands!

When I lived in Boston,and had to much time on my hands,I watched "Anal XXXX VIDEOS" until I had to much of "Something else" on my hands!!!! I don't do that anymore since I moved here to the "Land of Plenty"! So I suggest that insted of spending time posting nonsense,you rent some videos,or get down here and get some "DDM"! (Dark Dominican Meat!!!) "Gotcha"! CRIS;) :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :p :lick: :lick: :lick: :smoke:
 

Criss Colon

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"MQ" please say that you are coming to the "South Shore" of the DR!

That is where you will find the real "Class" of the DR1 "Regulars!!!!! I will leave it for each individual to decide if that is "High" Class,"Low" Class,Or "NO" Class at all! I wouldn't want to offend any of those who seem to find the North Coast and all those tourists so entertaining!!! "Ugh"! I caan proudly say that the last time I visited the North,Samana,was 6 years ago! I am still finding grains of sand in the crack of my BIG ass!I do like Santiago!!!!Cris
 

Dirty Girl

New member
Jun 12, 2006
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The Men Rules - haha

Thanks for the men rules musicqueen. Cheered me up this morning. I am in the process of writing the redneck rules, and even though I'm a girl,I'm also a redneck, so theres a couple that are the same! Maybe we should collaborate!:devious:
 

shadInToronto

On Vacation....
Nov 16, 2003
1,988
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You'd be a 10 ....

[[COLOR="Red" said:
Dirty Girl[/COLOR];438136]Thanks for the men rules musicqueen. Cheered me up this morning. I am in the process of writing the redneck rules, and even though I'm a girl,I'm also a redneck, so theres a couple that are the same! Maybe we should collaborate!:devious:
If your handle were Classy-Dirty-Girl ... a combination of Audrey Hepburn and Linda Lovelace :laugh:
 

MrMike

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Mar 2, 2003
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Holy crap it's not fair to resurrect ancient posts when I'm this drunk.

I was like "this is so old" then I noticed the post date.

OK DR1 it's been years, can we get a culturally relevant Spanish translation, please?

warning: may have mis-spelled relevant (or however you spell it)
 

Alyonka

New member
Jun 3, 2006
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My friend's husband sent a similar set of rules to her. I guess he wanted to teach her to understand him better :bunny:
 

shadInToronto

On Vacation....
Nov 16, 2003
1,988
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The rules are simple ....

My friend's husband sent a similar set of rules to her. I guess he wanted to teach her to understand him better :bunny:
Rule #1: Da Man is always RIGHT, say YES and never talk back!!!!!!
Rule #2: If in doubt, refer to Rule #1

Simple ..... ;)
 

Alyonka

New member
Jun 3, 2006
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Rule #1: Da Man is always RIGHT, say YES and never talk back!!!!!!
Rule #2: If in doubt, refer to Rule #1

Simple ..... ;)
What do you think, I ever knew any different? ;) I am just learning how to talk back (or not just talk) when it is really necessary!!! :pirate:
 

AnnaC

Well-known member
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
410
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Who dug this up?

It was cute at the time and then we had to set some rules about threads having some DR content.

I'm way too busy following the 100 page thread to be watching the chit chat here. :laugh:

Thanks for coming ;)
 
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