Gringa/sankie, even in santiago :(

[AnnaC]

I will assume all you guys are saying is the absolute truth...when a Dominican that LIVES in DR posts it!!!:ermm:

I'm trying to think of who is on this board that is Dominican, still lives in the DR, isn't involved with a foreigner and is bold and outspoken enough to tell the truth to a board full of foreingers :laugh:

 

[planner]

Planner...but foreigners, the ones that live there...were once just tourists that decided to stay...

You guys might see more than some of us since you are there on a daily basis...but I don't think you KNOW what a Dominican might feel/think about tourists/foreigners...

I will assume all you guys are saying is the absolute truth...when a Dominican that LIVES in DR posts it!!!:ermm:

And those who are tourists and decide to stay and DON"T change their ways are the real problems!!! How you behave as a tourist or frequent visitor is often NOT acceptable when you live here.

We KNOW exactly what is going on based on the way we are treated and others are treated by Dominicans.

YOu can believe us or not - whatever - those of us who live here understand what is going on. Those who do not live here - well it has to be very difficult to understand - it is so foreign to what you live and know. And you will not get insight into this stuff until you have been here a while!

 

[Musicqueen]

Does it make a difference if you speak the language or not? I'm serious...

Do you think if I lived there with my Dominican husband, I would be treated any better/worse since Spanish is my first language?

I'm asking because I think Dominicans are very weary of anyone they can't understand...

Anna...thanks for the laugh!!!

 

[planner]

MQ - you will be a foreigner regardless of the language. Of course it helps when you speak the language and can understand what is going on around you! But it will not make a huge amount of difference.

First people will assume he married you to get out of here or to be kept! Later, if they get to know you, then they might find out different! They will assume you married him for - well physical reasons (let's leave it at that) They will assume you can be conned, cheated etc etc. They will assume they can pull the wool over your eyes.

I am commenting based on living in a touristy area, where we see mixed relationships all the time. We also see that many many of them are based on a lie or a con. Most quality people here will not give you the time of day.

Recently I was at a higher end function. Several "gringas" arrived with their sankies in tow. They were given the cold shoulder by most of the guests. Comments were made about the fact they had the audacity to bring those types of guys to this event! They were shunned.

Now in fact - few knew if they were or were not real relationships, if they were infact sankies, if they were short term, long term etc. The assumptions were made quickly and easily. And they were treated based on the assumptions made!

 

[DOMINCAN BOY]

On christmas day make a poor family happy

You are such a bitter man! I remember at Christmas time when there was a wrapping paper drive for the poor kids in the barrios via Rocky and you were ripping the poor and it was totally shocking and surprising.
Why are you so negative? Relax, smile. Maybe you should try wearing some "bling" and wearing your pants down to your knees, I'm sure the hotties would flock to you more! :cheeky:
Steve

Steve i think this is the one ?

http://www.dr1.com/forums/465637-post31.html

 

[Malibook]

No I would not allow her to sit at my table! Unfortunately all this is very true, I have seen it and experienced it firsthand.

The fellow I am dating is from Santiago. In the beginning he would not trust me, in fact at first did not want to date me! He assumed I was like all the gringas on the north coast - he knew all about our behaviour! He has seen it enough times to know.

It took some time for him to learn we are not all the same, that he can in fact trust me. But it was not easy.

I cannot tell you how many times I have gone out and been treated like white trash by a dominican man. He would assume I was a tourist on holiday looking for a good time. And of course, I know how things actually are here and would put him right in his place!

Next time you are here, ask some locals a few questions. Ask them who are the best tourists. Ask who are the worst and why. Ask them what they think of gringas. Ask them if they will date a gringa. Ask them about the old gringos...... But you will have to get out of the tourist areas to do this! IF you ask the employees of the resorts they will not give you a straight answer, they will only tell you what they think you want to hear. YOu wil quickly find out that we in fact are all lumped together in groups.....

I don't doubt what you have experienced and I have no desire to see it for myself just like I can understand why decent Nigerians might not want to bother meeting Shad.:cheeky:

 

[AnnaC]

Planner, so how do you handle this kind of thing when you are out and about with your Dominican and no one knows he's from Santiago?

 

[Steve Costa Azul]

Heartless!

Steve i think this is the one ?

http://www.dr1.com/forums/465637-post31.html

Dominican Boy
That's just one of the many. A good person would do both. Help the poor AND go out on the town and have a good time with his buddy and female friends!

Certainly NOT degrade their poverty ridden conditions and laughing about it. Classless........... May you lose your wallet in a barrio! Then again, they might shockingly return it to you, with all belongings in tact and change your mind forever! :cheeky:
Steve

 

[shadInToronto]

Don't use the thread to launch personal attacks ... that's the fastest way to awake the sleeping giant (aka the Mod) and have the thread closed.

 

[Chip]

MQ - you will be a foreigner regardless of the language. Of course it helps when you speak the language and can understand what is going on around you! But it will not make a huge amount of difference.

First people will assume he married you to get out of here or to be kept! Later, if they get to know you, then they might find out different! They will assume you married him for - well physical reasons (let's leave it at that) They will assume you can be conned, cheated etc etc. They will assume they can pull the wool over your eyes.

I am commenting based on living in a touristy area, where we see mixed relationships all the time. We also see that many many of them are based on a lie or a con. Most quality people here will not give you the time of day.

Recently I was at a higher end function. Several "gringas" arrived with their sankies in tow. They were given the cold shoulder by most of the guests. Comments were made about the fact they had the audacity to bring those types of guys to this event! They were shunned.

Now in fact - few knew if they were or were not real relationships, if they were infact sankies, if they were short term, long term etc. The assumptions were made quickly and easily. And they were treated based on the assumptions made!

Just another reason I could never live in the tourist areas. My solution is move to Santiago, where the people are still gentile.

Sure, there are some rich types here that run around with their nose up in the air and will ignore you if you aren't dressed to the hilt and go around in the latest Land Rover, but then again, these types can be found anywhere.

Being a gringo my Spanish isn't w/o it's flaws yet few are the people here who try to take advantage of me or see me as an outsider.

 

[Steve Costa Azul]

Personal Attacks

Don't use the thread to launch personal attacks ... that's the fastest way to awake the sleeping giant (aka the Mod) and have the thread closed.

Shad
My comment isn't really a personal attack, it's the way I feel about anyone who shares the same thoughts.
Steve:disappoin

 

[Squat]

Just another reason I could never live in the tourist areas. My solution is move to Santiago, where the people are still gentile.

Sure, there are some rich types here that run around with their nose up in the air and will ignore you if you aren't dressed to the hilt and go around in the latest Land Rover, but then again, these types can be found anywhere.

Being a gringo my Spanish isn't w/o it's flaws yet few are the people here who try to take advantage of me or see me as an outsider.

I think it doesn't matter where you live... If you do good in Santiago, you'll do good in a coastal town... I was living in Santiago 3 days a week for a year and a half, otherwise I have been in the Puerto Plata province, and now in Las Terrenas. I never had any problem anywhere...
Despite my typical Gringo face, I was never seen as an outsider, and when in other coastal cities that I don't know well, once I speak a couple of words in Spanish, any con artist would be discouraged...
Chip, while reading your various posts, I can see you have an excellent attitude, and I am sure you would do good anywhere on the island (yes, I include the other side of the border as well..)

 

[Sharkyitis]

Atta boy, girl!!!!!

Oh, boy!!!! Did I strike a nerve??? IT WAS A JOKE!!!!! Lighten up, AZB!!! I thought we had called a truce a long time ago!!! Sorry if it offended you...didn't mean it that way!!!
Shhhheeeesssszzzz!!!!!!

Anyway, I know I won't be able to convince you...even though I mentioned this before...I dated a VERY RICH, VERY GOOD LOOKING, VERY WELL ENDOWED, VERY WELL EDUCATED Dominican lawyer here in the US...and he turned out to be an asshole!!!!!

He had NONE of the qualities many of these 'barrio' boys or sankies or whatever you want to call them had...according to YOUR standards...he would have made the perfect mate...well, I'll tell you what...I would trade him for any of those other types any day of the week...The guy spent more time looking in the mirror than I did!!!!!So, don't judge...don't generalize...live and let live...why are worrying your pretty little bald head about this, anyway??? It doesn't concern you, it doesn't affect you....she's not asking for YOUR money, HE's not asking for YOUR money either...

Let her enjoy herself and then come here and post her story...so we can all have something to read and write about...

AWWWLLLLRIIIGHT!!!!! MusicQueen!!!!!! Git im!!!!!!!

 

[AZB]

You are such a bitter man! I remember at Christmas time when there was a wrapping paper drive for the poor kids in the barrios via Rocky and you were ripping the poor and it was totally shocking and surprising.
Steve

Ok, lets get some things straight.

I don't make fun of poor and desperate, I am only against the poor who rather than working and making an honest living, they date foreigners to get money off them. The guys who cheat white women into paying for fake hospital bills and other emergencies. The Putas in barrios who date anyone to get money for sex and the others who go out with men to eat expensive dishes and black label drinks. these are vagabundas who give domincians a bad name. I never make fun of hard working folks from barrios. they are the real proud dominicans who will not sell themselves short by trading their bodies for sex with an old man. I have little respect for putas and hookers. It so happens, 99.9% of hookers come from barrios. Note: I didn't say barrio women are putas, just the putas who are from barrios. can people understand what I wrote up there?

Now helping poor is my favorite pass-time. I always give money to beggars with missing limbs. I play a game with the poor. yesterday I was dealing with a fruit street vendor. I had overheard him complaining to another vendor that there is no money on the street and people won't buy a thing. Mind you this guy was sweating and pushing his heavy fruit cart under sadistic sun. I would have fainted if I were doing his work. So I approach him and start wheeling and dealing the prices. trying to bring his prices down, accused him of over charging me. Then complained about his fruit that it was not fresh. he got frustrated by me was almost calling me a cheap bastard. then I laughed and gave him 100 pesos for his kids and left without even taking anything from him.
I go around my poor neighborhood near my home and seek out Haitians. they are the real poor folks in DR. they eat a roll of bread (pan de agua) with a 10 peso slice of cheap white cheese on it. They work like animals all day and then eat this bread with salami or a cheap slice of cheese everyday. I give them 50 or 100 pesos each. some times I buy them food.
I don't do this only on Christmas, I do this everyday. I have learned a secret to making money. The more money I give out to the poor, the more money I make in my business the same day or the next. try that someday to see how money will just fall on your lap. Everyone is happy and there are no victims.
If god gave you money, you must share it with the people who have no chance in life.
AZB

 

[AZB]

Chip, while reading your various posts, I can see you have an excellent attitude, and I am sure you would do good anywhere on the island (yes, I include the other side of the border as well..)

I will be the first one to say, chip is a good guy and he is very happy in the life he chose here in santiago. He, indeed, is a very lucky man as well, considering he is still walking without pain after that injury he sustained in military.
AZB

 

[planner]

Planner, so how do you handle this kind of thing when you are out and about with your Dominican and no one knows he's from Santiago?

We limit somewhat where we go and we definately choose who we are around. We don't let certain people sit with us or associate with us. Sounds nasty but it really isn't. We also behave appropriately all the time. For example you won't find us necking on the dance floor! Only tourists do that.....

It matters very much where you live. Different areas and cities have a different population base. Things considered common here are definately not common in Santiago or SD.

 

[Squat]

I have learned a secret to making money. The more money I give out to the poor, the more money I make in my business the same day or the next. try that someday to see how money will just fall on your lap. Everyone is happy and there are no victims.
If god gave you money, you must share it with the people who have no chance in life.
AZB

Well, that might be the wisest words of the thread... I should take example and do the same...

 

[Lady_Laura]

La verdad !

First people will assume he married you to get out of here or to be kept! Later, if they get to know you, then they might find out different! They will assume you married him for - well physical reasons (let's leave it at that) They will assume you can be conned, cheated etc etc. They will assume they can pull the wool over your eyes.

This is very true!! Generally, Dominican Men DO NOT go after much older women unless there is some sort of an ?interest?. People will ALWAYS assume that a (Dominican)Men that?s with a woman (specially is she happens to be a foreigner) that?s old to be their mamas will be a KEPT man. 98% of the assumption is a FACT and 99% of them will LEAVE the older woman once he is out of D.R.:bunny::bunny:

 

[Musicqueen]

Lady Laura...all I can say, even if you don't believe me...is that I had serious doubts about his true feelings for me for a while...

But after living together for 8 months, 4 of those months as a married couple, I can tell you with all my heart that my husband is more in love with me than ever!!!

Did he use me to get a visa? I doubt it...he could have been here waaaaaay before he met me...most of his family has been in the US for over 20 years...legally!!!

But....this is your opinion and you have your right to voice it as you see fit...

Chip...your comments are so right on...I wish there were more people like you around here...Thanks, it's so refreshing to read your posts...

 

[shadInToronto]

...But after living together for 8 months, 4 of those months as a married couple, I can tell you with all my heart that my husband is more in love with me than ever!!!

You sound surprised, if you're a good wife (and I assume you are), who else would he love? .... besides, he better 'toe the party line', otherwise, he's out on his keisters.