Help with a schizophrenic

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I will try and keep this short!!! Although the whole story would make a book!!!

I look after an apartment for an american lady. I rent it or she rents it. I check in the guests, collect the rent and security deposit. When they leave I check the inventory, return the deposit, clean it and wait for the next guest.

She rented it 2 weeks ago to an American lady, Turned out it was for her 28 year old son from Miami and his Dominican gf. GF turns up on the day from Santiago. Nice girl. Has not seen bf for 4 years??? Pick up bf from airport, and turns out he is diagnosed Schizophrenic. Plus mental age of around 6 years. Mother has sent him here for a month with 50 us$. GF leaves after 2 days, as thinks he is wierd and expected him to give her lots of money when he arrived. Bf is a sex maniac and desperate for a woman - but only has 50 us$. Now has less, as has has bought a wooden elephant and a presidente T shirt off beach. He managed to find one Haitian girl and spent last 30 us$ on her.Not at his apt as administration would not let her in - thank goodness. At least had sex for first time in life, and informed me he wore 3 condoms!!!!

I have had him round at my house every night for dinner but he now has no money, have written to mother who sent another 20 us$ by Western Union, which went straight away on another hooker sesssion. He leaves 8th June, but mother will not pay for him to go earlier. Nor will she send money for food. He does not understand that he cannot get a gf here without money.

Any intelligent suggestions, as this responsibility is getting too much (!!!) or does anyone know anything about schizophrenia??? He is now getting depressed as is desperate for real gf and I will not let him take anyone to apt as I know he has no cash and think he might be in danger or at the least they will take stuff out of apt.

Matilda
 

jrhartley

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Sep 10, 2008
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social services

I would have contacted social services in the American ladies home town , as she is obviously not worried about sending someone who cant take care of themselves around the world with no money and relying on some samaritan to come to his aide
 

Lambada

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Mar 4, 2004
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or does anyone know anything about schizophrenia??? Matilda
Yes. Don't allow it to become your problem, Matilda. The American owner might choose to refund the rental and send him home; it was she who rented to this tenant's mother, not you. Your job is to care for the property, not the incumbents, yes? Mother of the young man doesn't sound like her grasp on reality is too tight either - of course he can't exist here without money for food.

You say he is becoming depressed: suicide rate among young male schizophrenics is pretty high. I don't know if there have been attempts in the past. You really don't need this, nor does the owner of the property. Send him home or call in his Embassy for assistance with getting the airline ticket brought forward. I am sure the young man's mother needs a break but this isn't the way to arrange it, shifting the responsibility to others who were not pre-warned and aren't prepared & who would never have agreed to this if they had known.

Don't try to treat him or mother him. Does this sound harsh? Yes, but I know what a kind person you are Matilda.
 

Peleca

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Mar 11, 2009
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Hi Matilda,

Just wondering, did mom send any medications with him? Any responsible parent of a schizophrenic would not send him/her out on vacation without their medication (Seroquel, Zyprexa, Ativan, Clozapine) especially if that person appears to be unfit to travel and is unaccompanied. It appears this may be an attempt at mom trying to rid herself of her son. This worries me a bit as I work in the field of psychiatry and deal with schizophrenics on a daily basis, and know that when people are psychotic that they need to be in a safe place under the care of a Psychiatrist. However, he sounds quite manageable other than wanting to spend what little he has on lady friends. He may not be psychotic (it doesn't sound like it) at the present time, and if that is the case then you have nothing to be afraid of other than some odd behaviour on his part. Should you feel unsafe or worry for his personal safety then the only thing that I can advise you is to call the authorities ( police/Canadian Embassy). They most likely will have him sent back in that case. There are many schizophrenics that are very wonderful people and as I said before, unless he appears to be threatening in any way then you should have nothing to be afraid of. But if you can, do him a favour and ask him where his meds are, check them out if he'll allow you to, ask him when he took his last dose, and hopefully you can get him back on track with those (very important). And another thing, do not enable him by giving him any more money. If mom sends some you should be using this to cover the fact that you're feeding him (but of course he will probably not understand this).
Thank you for caring so much Matilda. Unfortunately his mother doesn't seem to care an ounce as much as you do.
 

laurajane

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May 23, 2005
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I agree Matilda, we are not just talking about some randy teenager that is trying his luck, he has a severe mental illness and these people find it hard enough to function in familiar territory let alone a foreign country like here.

I would contact the owner of the apartment and the mother again, You are too good hearted Matilda and are being taken advantage of. This is not your responsibility and maybe you may feel guilty ruining this young mans so called vacation as it sounds as if he thinks its heaven on earth, but he could really get himself in trouble.

If he is crazy for the hookers and hasnt got any money in addition to being mentally ill, I hate to think what he could be capable of to get his fix!
 

tflea

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Jun 11, 2006
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Sound Advice

Yes. Don't allow it to become your problem, Matilda. The American owner might choose to refund the rental and send him home; it was she who rented to this tenant's mother, not you. Your job is to care for the property, not the incumbents, yes? Mother of the young man doesn't sound like her grasp on reality is too tight either - of course he can't exist here without money for food.

You say he is becoming depressed: suicide rate among young male schizophrenics is pretty high. I don't know if there have been attempts in the past. You really don't need this, nor does the owner of the property. Send him home or call in his Embassy for assistance with getting the airline ticket brought forward. I am sure the young man's mother needs a break but this isn't the way to arrange it, shifting the responsibility to others who were not pre-warned and aren't prepared & who would never have agreed to this if they had known.

Don't try to treat him or mother him. Does this sound harsh? Yes, but I know what a kind person you are Matilda.

Sounds like good advice to me.
 

chola1978

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Mar 20, 2006
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Matilda its clear that this young men is not good news for you our the local Dominican .haitnas girls around the property. please contact the person responsible for the apartment and the owner and advise them that you are canceling the contract dude to violations.. i bet you cna find one..
Plus please contact the American embassy so they cna guide you on how to manage a mentally ill American citizen that has no money to feed them self and was abandon.. lets make sure he was nto snet over here to be left here for good.. some people are nto good parents.. let make sure we dont hurt him or you..or the apartment....
 

Lambada

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But if you can, do him a favour and ask him where his meds are, check them out if he'll allow you to, ask him when he took his last dose, and hopefully you can get him back on track with those (very important).
Peleca, I appreciate your knowledgeable advice (I retired from the mental health field quite a long time ago). But I would disagree on one thing, the advice in the quote above. In any other country this might be ok but not here. It is unwise to get involved in other people's medications in the DR unless you have a licence as a prescribing physician. If anything was to go wrong and there was an unfortunate accident or even an attempted suicide, Matilda could find herself held on suspicion as an accessory (yes even if these are medications, not suicide mixture). Matilda has to protect herself first & foremost (from what could happen with DR authorities, I don't mean from the patient, since, like you, I wouldn't expect any danger there) and the only way to do that is to terminate the rental.

Matilda is not his doctor, nurse or a relative; she should not be supervising taking medication.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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He is taking his medication. It is how I found out he was schizophrenic. He calls me every morning to tell me he has taken it - and eaten his cornflakes. I have not called the embassy yet to ask them to pay to have his flight ticket brought forward as my previous experience with embassies has not been good, and I just cannot see that they would do that. Do you think they would??? The owner of the apartment feels bad about it, but I have told her I cannot be held responsible for any losses. I cannot just kick him out on the street, so I am feeding him at night to make sure he doesn't starve. He does not appear to be dangerous, unless you count masturbating in front of women, dangerous!!! He appears to be a sweet, mentally disturbed child. I just cannot understand how a mother can send her kid here under these circumstances. God knows what would happen to him if I had not taken him under my wing. I am concerned about the fact that he seems to be depressed now, and about his rampant desire for sex!!!

matilda
 
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Lambada

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No I don't think for a moment he'll attack you, but he could attack someone else if provoked, then run to you for help. You're a good person Matilda but you really shouldn't be taking on this responsibility. I wouldn't (& I'm fairly kind myself). There is kindness which brings no problems & there is kindness which could bring a whole heap of problems - he's the latter. You're probably not seeing it because you've allowed yourself to get too close.

The Embassy would help if he was out on the street with nowhere to go and no money. As the situation is at the moment, they probably won't 'see' a problem either because you're taking care of it. They would intervene if there was an incident & by then it could be too late. I would suggest you call them at the point where the American owner terminates the rental agreement, preferably Thursday morning. Don't leave it until the weekend.

The mixture of depression and rampant sexual need is not a good combination in someone you describe as a mentally disturbed child. There is clearly no impulse control there, even though he is on meds. If he masturbates in front of the wrong woman, her husband/brothers/father etc could go on the warpath so yes, that could be dangerous for him. And then he'll come running to you and..............get my drift?

Get the owner to terminate the rental and send him home. Don't seek his mother's permission. Just do it. I'll email you the other points I wanted to make.
 

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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Matilda,

tell the embassy that he has no money to take care of himself and he is mentally ill.

He needs to go back home because he does not have any money to feed himself and could get into a dangerous situation.

I had a schizophrenic neighbor who was the nicest guy in the world but when one day he decided to stop taking his meds he flipped out. I saw him stalking the hallways ringing other people's doorbells while completely naked.

And the mess in his apartment was a scene I'd rather forget. Once he got to the hospital he was safe, but just imagine how a similar scenario will play itself out in the DR.

Guaranteed this will blow up in your face. Be proactive and try to do what you can to get this guy home. Try calling the airlines to see what can be done. Sometimes they can change the flight for a person for a minimal fee or for nothing at all if there are available seats on an earlier flight, but you have to make sure you speak to a supervisor and not some airline ticketing agent.

Regardless of how nice this guy seems, and regardless of how nice YOU are you are overstepping your boundaries by taking this on. I say this for the safety of both of you, but moreso for you.

I remember that thread a few years ago with the mentally ill Dominican in Santo Domingo lying in the street and how the police treated him, throwing him in the back of their truck and all the while he was completely naked.

It became a spectacle, and it was heartbreaking and pitiless.

No one wants this to happen to this young man.
 
Last edited:

drloca

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Oct 26, 2004
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Matilda, you have your own life to deal with.

As always, you put the needs of others first, just your caring nature. I think this person is ultimately, a danger to himself given that he clearly doesnt have the capacity to be "street smart" and in a place like the DR, that could prove to be fatal.

While your effort to help is commendable, you can in no way be accountable for him or any potential actions. The fact that he is telling you he takes his meds is meaningless...even if it is true, who knows if the dose is correct or when last he was monitored by his health care professional?

Can the owner find grounds to evict him and with this "evidence", the US Embassy may step up to the plate.

Saddest part is that the mother is really responsible for YOUR currrent predicament and should be liable, money aside. This type of negligence could have serious consequences...and then what?

So for once, please put yourself first.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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Have managed to get in touch with mother and persuade her to come here, in the absence of sending him money and changing flight ticket. She will arrive on Tuesday. I understand what everyone is saying but I simply cannot throw a mentally ill person out in the street. So here is keeping everything crossed that we survive without major incident till Tuesday!!

Matilda
 

drloca

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Oct 26, 2004
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Hey, how about we start a little collection to cover the change fee on his ticket and give Mat the peace and quiet she deserves;)?
 

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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Have managed to get in touch with mother and persuade her to come here, in the absence of sending him money and changing flight ticket. She will arrive on Tuesday. I understand what everyone is saying but I simply cannot throw a mentally ill person out in the street. So here is keeping everything crossed that we survive without major incident till Tuesday!!

Matilda
The mother knows he has no money, so instead of sending some to cover his expenses she wants to hop on a plane and go to the DR?

Meanwhile, he's running around trying to get women to sleep with him with no money?