how can a american man settle down with one girl in the DR?

[laurapasinifan]

I been around enough men in my lifetime! I HONESTLY believe that there ARE men out there that ARE FAITHFUL and have no desire to CHEAT becuase they are happy with what they have, EVEN if the opportunity lands on their lap to cheat!
.

I agree....I never cheated on my wife or my GF....if it isnt any good break up...but dont cheat.

cheating is the same...no ..it is lying...pure and simple..

I dont lie....

I had a GF for three years in the dr and i never felt the need to cheat on her.. she was hot for sure...but I saw plenty of hot women, and I went out every friday and sat night...during those three years.

I wouldnt want anyone to cheat on me and that is one of the reasons I dont do it. I was happy having one women that was what I wanted....

if you choose wisely...you shouldnt have desires for something else..if you do...you settled too fast.

This has nothing to do with couples that have open realtionships...because I can understand that..it is out on the table and both parties accept it and still they have a relationship...

that too me is ok( i never had one of those but I understand it)

I would take dating Tavina over the trip I made to Sosua where I had my choice of 40 women.

even in Santiago where I saw a dozen women much more beautiful than my ex GF and id take having a woman I loved over trying each one on a different night..( not that I had a SOSUAN opportunity in Santiago!!!!) ha ha

that is me and i know that doesnt seem macho..but dont worry I am macho enough when it is important...

and i dont degrade anyone on what they do....some people cant and dont want to settle...they really are not happy and that is what matters.

but some of us can be happy with the right woman....

and I dont need to go to the DR to find a GF, I dated a brazilian Model who was 23 last summer during my 3 month break up with Tavina. and I have had two GFs since we broke up, both under 27...

but the point I make is guys run the gamut...some are dogs, some are open about their desires to constantly look around and some are monogomous... BY CHOICE too!!!

and no I am not looking for votes from the ladies here...any one that knows me here...knows I speak my mind......

anyway, I like threads like this

bad bad bob

 

[rsg]

I agree....I never cheated on my wife or my GF....if it isnt any good break up...but dont cheat.

cheating is the same...no ..it is lying...pure and simple..

I dont lie....

I had a GF for three years in the dr and i never felt the need to cheat on her.. she was hot for sure...but I saw plenty of hot women, and I went out every friday and sat night...during those three years.

I wouldnt want anyone to cheat on me and that is one of the reasons I dont do it. I was happy having one women that was what I wanted....

if you choose wisely...you shouldnt have desires for something else..if you do...you settled too fast.

This has nothing to do with couples that have open realtionships...because I can understand that..it is out on the table and both parties accept it and still they have a relationship...

that too me is ok( i never had one of those but I understand it)

I would take dating Tavina over the trip I made to Sosua where I had my choice of 40 women.

even in Santiago where I saw a dozen women much more beautiful than my ex GF and id take having a woman I loved over trying each one on a different night..( not that I had a SOSUAN opportunity in Santiago!!!!) ha ha

that is me and i know that doesnt seem macho..but dont worry I am macho enough when it is important...

and i dont degrade anyone on what they do....some people cant and dont want to settle...they really are not happy and that is what matters.

but some of us can be happy with the right woman....

and I dont need to go to the DR to find a GF, I dated a brazilian Model who was 23 last summer during my 3 month break up with Tavina. and I have had two GFs since we broke up, both under 27...

but the point I make is guys run the gamut...some are dogs, some are open about their desires to constantly look around and some are monogomous... BY CHOICE too!!!

and no I am not looking for votes from the ladies here...any one that knows me here...knows I speak my mind......

anyway, I like threads like this

bad bad bob

I think you need to change your name to good good bob....

 

[jalencastro]

i was about to say the same, there isnt a BAD bone in the man! LOL

 

[pedrochemical]

how do I get the squiggle on top of my n's ??

First step? Most of these groups have been around for ages, some since the 1970s, and Dominicans officially recognise the contributions of earlier feminists like the late Do?a Delia Weber who as well as being a poet and painter is credited with helping get Dominican women the vote in the mid-20th century.
Legislation on equal rights is in place too, as it should be. The challenge, as with many good Dominican laws, is in the enforcement.
Secretar?a de Estado de la Mujer - Inicio

O.K. well done Dona Delia. (how do I get the squiggle on top of my n's ??)
Universal suffrage is probably a good thing.
It is curious how the good work done by these people has not affected the societal norm as much as their counterparts in North America and Europe.

Why is that?

It is undeniable that women being homemakers is seen as less demeaning here than back home.
A woman in my country who expresses a wish to be a mother and wife is at best laughed at and sometimes ridiculed and abused.

 

[RGVgal]

I agree....I never cheated on my wife or my GF....if it isnt any good break up...but dont cheat.

cheating is the same...no ..it is lying...pure and simple..

I dont lie....

I had a GF for three years in the dr and i never felt the need to cheat on her.. she was hot for sure...but I saw plenty of hot women, and I went out every friday and sat night...during those three years.

I wouldnt want anyone to cheat on me and that is one of the reasons I dont do it. I was happy having one women that was what I wanted....

if you choose wisely...you shouldnt have desires for something else..if you do...you settled too fast.

This has nothing to do with couples that have open realtionships...because I can understand that..it is out on the table and both parties accept it and still they have a relationship...

that too me is ok( i never had one of those but I understand it)

I would take dating Tavina over the trip I made to Sosua where I had my choice of 40 women.

even in Santiago where I saw a dozen women much more beautiful than my ex GF and id take having a woman I loved over trying each one on a different night..( not that I had a SOSUAN opportunity in Santiago!!!!) ha ha

that is me and i know that doesnt seem macho..but dont worry I am macho enough when it is important...

and i dont degrade anyone on what they do....some people cant and dont want to settle...they really are not happy and that is what matters.

but some of us can be happy with the right woman....

and I dont need to go to the DR to find a GF, I dated a brazilian Model who was 23 last summer during my 3 month break up with Tavina. and I have had two GFs since we broke up, both under 27...

but the point I make is guys run the gamut...some are dogs, some are open about their desires to constantly look around and some are monogomous... BY CHOICE too!!!

and no I am not looking for votes from the ladies here...any one that knows me here...knows I speak my mind......

anyway, I like threads like this

bad bad bob

Bob,

I never thought I would say this, but I agree with you 100%.

I think that most guys will give up having a hot girl every night for one that loves/cares for them and can be counted on to be there for them during the good and the bad times.

I have a friend that can't settle down because he is always thinking that there may be someone better down the road. He dates many gorgeous girls and has a great social life, but at the end of the day he is always lonely and wishing he had that special someone that will be there for him no matter what.

 

[SKing]

Yeah, right, if she (someone who is not even his wife), dictates a man what to do (meaning treat others like trash), and he listens and obeys, what makes him any different from those losers in the US who are scared of divorce and assets separation? He is just one of them, even worse.

Shalena, one day that guy might treat you the same as other b...s you are talking about. If he finds a better "mami." Believe me, I have seen it happen

I see that some explanation is needed here.......first of all, I don't date married men. That's stupid....because then you ARE the b*tch.
The following is my observation only and should not be misconstrued as professional love advice

Most Dominican men have a #1 wife or girlfriend and at least 2 b*tches on the side...if you are that wife or girlfriend, you know it, and so does everyone else.
These men know what they have at home and will not risk losing it for some "good time in the sack chic"
These men actually LOVE their wives/girlfriends...they are just MEN.
The families of these men usually know who is the wife/girlfriend, and even though they know that their brother/son/uncle is creeping...even THEY are not going to allow some hood rat to mess up their family...they know who is important. You might even hear one say "No te metas con mi cunada o te mato!"
These side b*tches know what they are, and if they don't then they are blind.....
They are usually taken to a motel/hotel.
They may be taken past the man's mom's/sister's house when just 1 or 2 family members are there but are NEVER invited to big family gatherings or occasions
They are never spoken to in public if the man is with his wife/girlfriend
They never have a home landline number to call
They know when they want to see this guy, they have a 50/50 chance that he'll show up
The man wants no photos taken of them together
Whenever they go out with his friends...HIS friends are with girls that she knows are not their girlfriends!
and the best way to know........He TELLS her!!!
It has been my experience that Domincans do not lie in that aspect, usually the b*tch knows he is with someone...when they first meet, usually something is said like "Tengo mi mujercita peeeeeeeeeero......"
So IMO they get what they deserve after they accept an offer like that.
Most never EVER tell the wife or girlfriend....why? They know they will get their heart broken....most of these men let it be known that they are NOT leaving their wives/girlfriends, no matter how many "TKM" text messages they send.
So there you have it........
SHALENA

 

[Berzin]

This is all well and good, but to me what I am hearing is the north american mindset, which is very morally rigid.

We have been conditioned to say the politically correct things around women we may be interested in or want to impress to the point of having our real feelings neutered.

There are not many people who want or like to hear the real truth. They go crazy when you tell them the truth. This is one reason why people lie to each other.

When you tell someone the truth, they either get upset about how you said it or disagree and tune you out.

Not always, and not everyone is like this, but I would say this is true a big percentage of the time.

*I just finished reading Shalena's post above. These are excellent observations that would go over most people's heads who don't live in the DR.

If you live in the DR, Shalena just broke down how it goes. Our foreign sensibilities regarding monogamy will be seen as out of place if we try to import them.

Thank you, Shalena, you have contributed some really excellent posts regarding this matter.

And to hear this from a respectable woman who is not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes and telling it to us straight is even more refreshing.

Bravo.

 

[Alyonka]

Well, I have no idea what everyone does. I just hate being lied to. It confuses me. I would rather know where I am for real. Actually, in most cases people know where they are, but they lie to themselves to make it more pretty. I don't think having multiple partners is bad as long as you are honest about it and everyone accepts the situation.

 

[SKing]

Also, men fall in love with a women for who she is INSIDE. Once he is in love, it's LOVE.
I am not naive enough to think that I am the best thing since sliced bread...I know that there are women much more beautiful than I. I know that biologically men's private parts control alot of their actions...smart and not so smart. But I am confident enough to know when a man is in love with me and no Beyonce, Carmen Elektra, or Halle Berry can compete with that. So I let my man have his entree, and dessert, and maybe even salad...but a meal is not a meal without the MAIN COURSE. And he knows it............punto
SHALENA
P.S.
And no matter what you do or how much steak sauce you put on it....a salad can't be a steak. And when a man's really hungry...ask him what he wants, a steak or 5 salads.

 

[Alyonka]

Exactly, Shalena, you are right. Everyone knows where they are for real without words. There is no need for men to lie, really. They are just making it worse on themselves. It is better to say nothing, but a lie.

 

[SKing]

Well, I have no idea what everyone does. I just hate being lied to. It confuses me. I would rather know where I am for real. Actually, in most cases people know where they are, but they lie to themselves to make it more pretty. I don't think having multiple partners is bad as long as you are honest about it and everyone accepts the situation.

Alyonka,
most NA men lie...it has been my experience that the Dominicans don't. Usually where this type of relaitonship goes wrong is when the "just for a good time" girl starts to get jealous or falls in love and starts to try to cause trouble in the marriage/relationship. Most of these men will do whatever they have to to not have their outside trists (is that spelled correctly?) affect the real relationship. And if he has children with his wife/girlfriend he will dump that ho in a New York minute.....Most of these girls are not lied to, they know exactly what's going on and they accept it.
SHALENA

 

[leodabull]

RSG my man live your life with 1,2,3,4,5 woman I dont care just as long as you treat each one with RESPECT. You see people these young goddessess are in mostly in search of security that alot of us ?xtranjeros promise them and donot provide. They r not ass backwards out here anymore. No longer do they care if your from NY or China so long as you provide security. So if you my foreign friend came here to use and abuse like my man Rick James said than stop, turn around, hop in a cab, go to the airp?rt and get f*** out of my beautiful country unless you can provide security to whatever amount of girls you mess with. Alright? I do admit the dominican man who is assbackwards here is not what I would want for my daughter because their attitude is midevil with respect to how to treat the dominican woman. NOT ALL but many, many I have met give me (because I cannot speak for whom I dont know) the good, loving, respectful dominican man a bad name. Now do I have more the one female? No, but I can anytime. But if I did I would give them the security they seek as I do for my caramel honey who satisfies the s**t out of me in all aspects. Now, if any of you MEN think I said something out of character, well I dont care put an H on your chest and HANDLE IT playa. Peace...

 

[SKing]

And I am not lied to which is a good thing about our relationship...I mean, I don't go around asking "Are you going to go see some girl tonight? but if I hear something (like I did a couple of weeks ago)....I just asked "Dime....te acostaste con ***?" Then they ask who told you and then you tell them and finish the conversation with "No me deje oirlo otra vez"...then you have the best sex ever.......
SHALENA

 

[Alyonka]

People lie because they are weak and have low self-esteem. That is my experience. Real man will tell you as it is. I like real ones. No fakes.

 

[laurapasinifan]

Alyonka,
most NA men lie...it has been my experience that the Dominicans don't. Usually where this type of relaitonship goes wrong is when the "just for a good time" girl starts to get jealous or falls in love and starts to try to cause trouble in the marriage/relationship. Most of these men will do whatever they have to to not have their outside trists (is that spelled correctly?) affect the real relationship. And if he has children with his wife/girlfriend he will dump that ho in a New York minute.....Most of these girls are not lied to, they know exactly what's going on and they accept it.
SHALENA

I doubt that many of the wives or NUMBER 1 GFs know for a fact the other woman exists.

I see up close and with my personal friends that these dominican men definately lie to theri wives about extra marital affairs.....over and over..

the wives heartbreak is real....but the bigger reality seems to be that they know it is a tough life out there alone....so they let him back in... into the dog house...but he lies all the way in and all the way out...

he may not ever lie to the secondary woman...but he surely lies to the wife or primary woman

bad bad bob

 

[corsair74]

I doubt that many of the wives or NUMBER 1 GFs know for a fact the other woman exists.

I see up close and with my personal friends that these dominican men definately lie to theri wives about extra marital affairs.....over and over..

the wives heartbreak is real....but the bigger reality seems to be that they know it is a tough life out there alone....so they let him back in... into the dog house...but he lies all the way in and all the way out...

he may not ever lie to the secondary woman...but he surely lies to the wife or primary woman

bad bad bob

This is very true. No man, of any nationality, will tell his main girl about his side-pieces. Especially not if they live together. Not if he wants peace in his home. And what man doesn't want that?

And remember, omission of important info is also a lie. Every man does it. And they get better at it once they get married.

Vince.

 

[SKing]

I doubt that many of the wives or NUMBER 1 GFs know for a fact the other woman exists.

I see up close and with my personal friends that these dominican men definately lie to theri wives about extra marital affairs.....over and over..

the wives heartbreak is real....but the bigger reality seems to be that they know it is a tough life out there alone....so they let him back in... into the dog house...but he lies all the way in and all the way out...

he may not ever lie to the secondary woman...but he surely lies to the wife or primary woman

bad bad bob

I guess if you count omission as lying but I don't. Of course he doesn't go around telling me that he was with someone else...that is not how it goes. He hides it well so it does not bother me. I don't spend my whole day wondering where he is and who he's with because I have my own life and am secure in myself.
But what I'm saying is if I hear about it he knows that he doesn't have to lie to me. I don't withhold sex or yell or scream. That's childish...I mean, come on...
And I can only comment on what I know and have seen personally, but I disagree with the thought that the wife/girlfriend doesn't know. Especially if they're Dominican.
Gimme' a break..........
They are only fooling themselves.
SHALENA

 

[jrhartley]

i sometimes wonder what people talk about after they have done the deed - but I dont think toooo much about it

 

[Alyonka]

I guess if you count omission as lying but I don't. Of course he doesn't go around telling me that he was with someone else...that is not how it goes. He hides it well so it does not bother me. I don't spend my whole day wondering where he is and who he's with because I have my own life and am secure in myself.
But what I'm saying is if I hear about it he knows that he doesn't have to lie to me. I don't withhold sex or yell or scream. That's childish...I mean, come on...
And I can only comment on what I know and have seen personally, but I disagree with the thought that the wife/girlfriend doesn't know. Especially if they're Dominican.
Gimme' a break..........
They are only fooling themselves.SHALENA

Exactly, they are fooling him, actually. Every woman knows if he has others. It is quite obvious to any of us. I would rather be open about it and stay safe from stress and STDs, than pretend like nothing is happenning because I am scared and insecure. I don't have time to be his one only pleasure. I am just way too busy with my work, family and life. But it is nice once in a while.

 

[laurapasinifan]

And I am not lied to which is a good thing about our relationship...I mean, I don't go around asking "Are you going to go see some girl tonight? but if I hear something (like I did a couple of weeks ago)....I just asked "Dime....te acostaste con ***?" Then they ask who told you and then you tell them and finish the conversation with "No me deje oirlo otra vez"...then you have the best sex ever.......
SHALENA

dammmmm...I predict you will never get divorced.

just hope a lot of american men dont read your post....it will just drive them even more to find their own domincana dream!! ha ha

now I am sure my ex would NEVER think like you in that reguard...but

her mind set was just from a different planet than I had been used to in the states...I never thought that all dominican women thought like that, but I was thinking maybe many do....

just like please the man in as many aspects as can be dreamed...and be hot, and sexy.....and morenita con largo pelo negra...ok getting off trck here

someone throw a bucket of cold water on me...

bad bad bob