How to control barking dogs at night in DR

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
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How to control barking dogs at night

I can relate to the barking dog problems. I don't approve of animal cruelty, but when i lived in Sosua for 6 years a few years back, our Dominican neighbor left his dog out all night long where it barked non-stop in a marathon barking madness with other neighborhood dogs. I was absolutely amazed by this particular dogs vocal chords. the dog barked non-stop, all night long in a marathon bordering on madness; the dog even barked while urinating. I'm not kidding. i don't think i ever witnessed this dog taking a break to rest his vocal chords for longer then 30 seconds...maybe to swallow. No, I don't even think i ever saw the dog take a drink of water or swallow

After speaking to the Dominican owner numerous times, I was left with no alternative but to take matters into my own hands. But first, let me confess something: sometimes i'm not right in the head. I started pepper spraying this dog every evening directly into his mouth. Every time he barked i came flying out of my apartment with a gas mask on that my retired fireman friend, Paul(he lives in Ocean Dream in Cabarete) loaned me, and then proceeded to pepper spray the dog directly into his larynx and crotch area. It got to the point where i even had to pepper spray the Dominican owner as well. Yeah, he called the police on me numerous times. I didn't care. I peppered them too when they showed up.

Sometimes, you have no choice but to think like Charles Bronson and take matters into your own hands. You got to go into combat mode. you got to go native on them and think out of the box. After several douses of pepper spray, i can assure you, the dog, the stupid owner, and anyone else in the immediate vicinity--including your wife--will flee in the opposite direction every time they see you coming down the road. They will have the fear of god in them. and trust me, whenever someone see's you with a can of pepper spray in your hand, they will shut up. Negative reinforcement has this kind of effect on animals and unruly people.

You can condition anyone and anything with enough pepper spray. You can even condition your wife or girlfriend by pepper spraying them directly into the eyes, crotch, and mouth area. Give them a good, liberal douse. Don't be stingy or frugal. Its very effective if used right. I highly recommend it. My neighbors, girlfriend, and pet monkey are all properly trained now. It took a lot of cans of pepper to get them to see the logic, to see the light, but in the end, people come around to your way of thinking and reasoning when they know your holding a live hand grenade in your hand, with the safety switch off.

I suggest you stock up.

Love Frank
 
Last edited:

tee

Bronze
Sep 14, 2007
767
48
48
Very informative but I would seriously refrain from pepper spraying the wife's or girlfriend's crotch or mouth, would sting the heck out of your manhood!! lmao
 

mido

Bronze
May 18, 2002
1,522
14
38
Get a some Chinese or Vietnamese staff working at your house, they will take care of the dogs...
 

Hernandez

Banned
Feb 9, 2009
875
20
0
Unfortunately, the only 100% solution for the barking dog is to poison the dog. If you don't want to do that, just try to relax and forget about the problem. If you want to do that, don't post about it on this forum :)
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,844
0
36
Unfortunately, the only 100% solution for the barking dog is to poison the dog. If you don't want to do that, just try to relax and forget about the problem. If you want to do that, don't post about it on this forum :)
I disagree. The most effective way to train a dog or an unruly house wife/husband is by positive and negative conditioning. Hence, if every time the dog barks you run outside and pepper spray him, then he will associate the pepper spray with barking. It's not rocket science.

Also, by positively reinforcing an animal or person's behavior with either snacks or fried cheese sandwiches or bacon, you will get them to respond positively to your commands.

Again, no rocket science here.

Frank
 

puryear270

Bronze
Aug 26, 2009
935
82
0
Where can I get pepper spray? I'll be in the capital tomorrow. I want to use it on the dumbass concho drivers who get hateful when I get too close to them even though they are driving on the wrong side of the road.
 

bdablack

New member
Jun 30, 2011
133
1
0
Can you get one of those high pitched sound devices and leave it on all night or plan to stay up a few nights and turn it on when the dog barks and turn it off when it stops.
 
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Hernandez

Banned
Feb 9, 2009
875
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Man, as a result of pepper spraying the dog, the dog's owner (or his friends) can put that spray up your ass, if you are not backed up with some serious 9 mm tool :) And, actually, they will do the right thing, from their point of view. There are two ways in this country to fix the problem, shoot the dog or poison the dog. You can't shoot the dog just for barking, because it's not a self defense, and you can end up with your gun license cancelled, if they complain to fiscalia. So you can poison the dog, that's what Dominicans do. If you are against that method, live with that barking or move to a quiet place (if they exist in your area).
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
11,844
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36
Man, as a result of pepper spraying the dog, the dog's owner (or his friends) can put that spray up your ass, if you are not backed up with some serious 9 mm tool :) And, actually, they will do the right thing, from their point of view. There are two ways in this country to fix the problem, shoot the dog or poison the dog. You can't shoot the dog just for barking, because it's not a self defense, and you can end up with your gun license cancelled, if they complain to fiscalia. So you can poison the dog, that's what Dominicans do. If you are against that method, live with that barking or move to a quiet place (if they exist in your area).
Pepper spraying a barking dog is what you do when the "Dominican" owner has refused to listen to either logic or polite reasoning. Hence, you need to stockpile a lot of pepper spray. But look, if pepper spray is not at hand, don't worry, you can substitute it by filling a Windex spray bottle up with ammonia, hot peppers, and Tabasco sauce. This shoots very far, is quite accurate, and it burns something fierce. But you will need to take a lot of target practice on something nearby in order to "dial in" the correct spray length and width. I practice on the neighborhood children and my ex's, but results vary--depending on whether the target is moving or not.

For the most effective results, i suggest aiming directly for the mouth and crotch area. Douse them down thoroughly. Animals do not know how to hold their breath, and consequently, this is why pepper sprays are so effective against animals in the wild like bears and ex-wives.

Their is never a need to "poison" a dog. Ever. I've been thoroughly dousing unruly animals and neighbors in eyes, mouth and crotch areas for decades without any negative consequences.

Frank
 

CaptnGlenn

Silver
Mar 29, 2010
2,321
26
0
Man, as a result of pepper spraying the dog, the dog's owner (or his friends) can put that spray up your ass, if you are not backed up with some serious 9 mm tool :) And, actually, they will do the right thing, from their point of view. There are two ways in this country to fix the problem, shoot the dog or poison the dog. You can't shoot the dog just for barking, because it's not a self defense, and you can end up with your gun license cancelled, if they complain to fiscalia. So you can poison the dog, that's what Dominicans do. If you are against that method, live with that barking or move to a quiet place (if they exist in your area).

Poisoning the owner is a more appropriate response.
 

Rattus_Rattus

Bronze
Apr 3, 2004
1,564
42
0
Thank God i only have two wifes here at the moment. If not i would strongly considered to buy stocks in the pepperspray industry...

All my x-wifes are most likely regulars in Franks bathtub...
 

Deyvi

*** I love DR1 ***
Dec 23, 2009
579
2
0
In the states they sell a bitter apple spray. They hate the taste and won'r be barking as he tries to rid the taste from his mouth. Harmless. Doesn't take to many shots for muts to start behaving. Trains them to stay off furniture etc.
 

Makinater

New member
May 4, 2013
156
0
0
How to control barking dogs at night

I can relate to the barking dog problems. I don't approve of animal cruelty, but when i lived in Sosua for 6 years a few years back, our Dominican neighbor left his dog out all night long where it barked non-stop in a marathon barking madness with other neighborhood dogs. I was absolutely amazed by this particular dogs vocal chords. the dog barked non-stop, all night long in a marathon bordering on madness; the dog even barked while urinating. I'm not kidding. i don't think i ever witnessed this dog taking a break to rest his vocal chords for longer then 30 seconds...maybe to swallow. No, I don't even think i ever saw the dog take a drink of water or swallow

After speaking to the Dominican owner numerous times, I was left with no alternative but to take matters into my own hands. But first, let me confess something: sometimes i'm not right in the head. I started pepper spraying this dog every evening directly into his mouth. Every time he barked i came flying out of my apartment with a gas mask on that my retired fireman friend, Paul(he lives in Ocean Dream in Cabarete) loaned me, and then proceeded to pepper spray the dog directly into his larynx and crotch area. It got to the point where i even had to pepper spray the Dominican owner as well. Yeah, he called the police on me numerous times. I didn't care. I peppered them too when they showed up.

Sometimes, you have no choice but to think like Charles Bronson and take matters into your own hands. You got to go into combat mode. you got to go native on them and think out of the box. After several douses of pepper spray, i can assure you, the dog, the stupid owner, and anyone else in the immediate vicinity--including your wife--will flee in the opposite direction every time they see you coming down the road. They will have the fear of god in them. and trust me, whenever someone see's you with a can of pepper spray in your hand, they will shut up. Negative reinforcement has this kind of effect on animals and unruly people.

You can condition anyone and anything with enough pepper spray. You can even condition your wife or girlfriend by pepper spraying them directly into the eyes, crotch, and mouth area. Give them a good, liberal douse. Don't be stingy or frugal. Its very effective if used right. I highly recommend it. My neighbors, girlfriend, and pet monkey are all properly trained now. It took a lot of cans of pepper to get them to see the logic, to see the light, but in the end, people come around to your way of thinking and reasoning when they know your holding a live hand grenade in your hand, with the safety switch off.

I suggest you stock up.

Love Frank
I notice that you have completely overlooked the most obvious solution to your problem. It is right there in your face, and you just don't see it. Instead you go trough a lot of problem trying to condition the dog and its owner with pepper spray. Why on Earth?

Let me just be frank, Frank. You are a master brewer, a drunkard's best friend, a genius at your trade - from what I've heard from several Norwegian lumberjacks (by some strange coincidence, they are all blind). Every single on of them can testify that there is no living being south of the Polar circle that can brew better Hjemmebrent than you (Svalbard is a whole other story, so let's leave them polar bear shooting loonies out of this). My biggest quiestion is: why don't you just put on that chem suit I assume you have, fill up a water pistol (or better yet, the large rifle like sort). And then spray that canine like your life depended on it ...

The result will be, in this order:

1. Dizziness (it's always funny watching a dog wabbling around on a street full of holes - I recommend you to grab a Presidente and/or Brahma, and a plastic chair!)

2. Head ache (DON'T give him canine Aspirine, then he won't learn his lesson)

3. Massive nausea and eruptive vomiting (after having used the chem suit to protect yourself while spraying the dog, this is the second time that suit will come in handy so keep it on even though it means that you will have to drink la vestida de novia with a straw)

4. Severe vision impairment (now the dog will think it's dying, and act accordingly by passing out and twitching uncontrollably while the nervous system is experiencing the last jolts of electro-chemical signals)

5. Unconsciousness (this phase may last everywhere from 24 to 120 hrs, according to my experiments, so either you stock up with Presidentes, empanadas and a high quality adult diaper, or you accept the fact that you may have to leave the front row seat from time to time)

6. Attempted rescue mission by the dog's owner (at this point you are supposed to repeat step 1, and the owner will follow the same procedure as the dog)

Penultimate step:

7. Slow recovery (the dog, and its owner, will be waking up wondering why it is so dark - the answer is that your wood spirits have destroyed the neural pathways between the victims eyes and brains)

Last step:

8. Both the dog and the owner wil realize that they got away fairly easy, given the evil minded genius of a neighbor they have - as a result, neither of them will ever bark again (as a bonus effect, their blindness guarantees that you won't be given the stinky eye from them as long as you live, no matter what they feel about your actions)

End of story!

Or maybe not? It may happen that you one day wakes up with an overwhelming desire to go to the beach. So you call Juan, Luis, Roberto, and Pedro. They are all at the colmado, drunk already, and very much willing to go to the beach with you. Juan drives you all their on his passola, and you look forward to spend a whole day drinking, wetting your feets, and perhaps trying to pick up some gringa with her swim suit full of Euro and a Green Card.

Then it happens. The dreadful man with the box appear out of nowhere. Your friends all scream, out of their minds with fear - all they can see is collares of larimar, ambar, marm?l and lots of other materials that instill fear in the hearts of every single beach visitor. You try to stand your ground. In the firmest of voice, you say: "No gracias. No queremos comprar." In the brain of the beach vendor, this is translated as "Dear Sir, if you just keep nagging me about your trinkets, I will buy every single piece of overpriced item and I will hook you up with my youngest sister".

So what do you do? You go "Hjemmebrent" on his sandy ass! Problem solved. And the gringa you've been trying to pick up, suddenly throws herself in your arms screaming "Let's marry and please come with me to Europe!" The rest of the beach applauds you, and for the next decade or so, you will be the local hero - celebrated once a year, at the anniversary of this very event.

I believe there's a bunch of different situations when you can use this solution. Please let me know how it worked out for you. And, by all means, do bring some of that wood spirits for me next time you decide to leave the snowy streets for nuestra querida Quisqueya - el pa?s de los apagones.
 

Makinater

New member
May 4, 2013
156
0
0
Where can I get pepper spray? I'll be in the capital tomorrow. I want to use it on the dumbass concho drivers who get hateful when I get too close to them even though they are driving on the wrong side of the road.
I always lean out the window and smack them in the face. Most of them crashes to the ground in the most amusing way, sin casco on the head - of course. Gets kind of messy.

Or wait - this is in fact my secret desire, and not my everyday life. I must confess that I still haven't lived out this fantasy. But one day I will. One day ...
 

GusFring

Active member
Apr 15, 2020
317
127
43
I moved.

The culprit was an Italian expat. He wasn't home much. Insane howling at any hour.

Good luck.