How to stop the femicides?

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Chirimoya

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When I was a kid in the last millenium, we were raised never to hit a girl or a woman. A man who was known as a wife beater was viewed as lower than whale shit. It just wasn't my family either, it was our entire community, from church to school to wherever. My parents had a great marriage so there was rarely anger present. My uncle and aunt had a shitty marriage but he would never have touched her in anger. It's just something everyone grew up with.

That philosophy is absent here it seems. The men should be shaming any other man who hits his wife/girlfriend. There can be no tolerance for violence like that.
Domestic violence has always happened everywhere to some degree but behind closed doors. Even if people knew it was going on, there was a conspiracy of silence in that neither neighbours nor authorities would intervene in something that was considered a private matter.

Old fashioned male gallantry is all very well but it is not enough to prevent violence. It goes hand in hand with women being seen as property and having to be submissive. Any woman who breaks these rules is seen as deserving of being beaten.

What we see in the DR is an extreme manifestation of this dynamic, much more exposed to the public because of the conditions most people live in. It is easier to keep it private when you live in a villa and the neighbours can't hear your wife's screams.
 

Cdn_Gringo

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The govt certainly has its part to play in creating legislation but until the courts and the prosecutors are free to pursue the law without political interference little will change. Judges are beholden to politicians to keep their jobs as are the prosecutors so what can you really expect from a judicial system that operates under these constraints. An independent judiciary is a fundamental requirement of a democratic free society. Justice needs to be done and seen by the public to be done.
 
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Chirimoya

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How to stop the femicides?​

Sounds like some diversity training might be a good idea.

soy-boy.jpg
I suspect you're mocking it but there are some very good projects being run with young men and women that aim to redefine the prevailing model of masculinity. It's an important part of the solution to the mindset and dynamics that lead to domestic violence and femicides.
 

Auryn

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This is all well and good, but anyone who lives in DR knows that the vast majority of these young girls “getting married” and having babies is just informal living together, no legal ceremony. They call each other husband/wife, until the next one comes along. The girls see their older sisters/cousins/neighbors having babies and instead of seeing the struggle to buy diapers and formula (rare to see breastfeeding, but that’s a whole different rant), they seem to think it’s cool, and the cycle repeats itself. It will be hard to change that.
Absolutely, and the men that impregnate them just move on to a younger, equally as desperate version eventually, or keep them on the side if they can afford it. I know a Dominicana who lives in the US now. She and her brother were the product of her father’s fourth simultaneous “wife”. He paid for her to become a dental hygienist and she has done well. Not the norm.

As I said earlier, women normalize it too. They are the result of their circumstances, which everyone knows is poverty.

This doesn’t change the fact that making child marriage illegal and punishable by law won’t help. It’s the first step in addressing it. A small step in the right direction, if that’s the direction this is actually headed.
 

Sailor51

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It is not just a barrio thing, this attitude towards women is prevalent at all levels of society and all too often is fueled by drugs and alcohol.

Promiscuity, mixed with drugs, alcohol and vile culture generate predictable results. There is no solution to this, backwards people do backwards things. We need to step away from the pervasive influence of American hood culture and learn from better more successful cultures.
I agree, But you're talking about 100 years of hollywood glorifying criminals in movies. Plenty of actors were involved in the real thing. They still do it with ridiculously themed movies and 'made for tv' series. And they do it fast and furiously too.
 

CristoRey

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It is not just a barrio thing, this attitude towards women is prevalent at all levels of society and all too often is fueled by drugs and alcohol.

Promiscuity, mixed with drugs, alcohol and vile culture generate predictable results. There is no solution to this, backwards people do backwards things. We need to step away from the pervasive influence of American hood culture and learn from better more successful cultures.
I think its less to do with "hood" culture
and more to do with insecurities...and
in some cases, poverty.
 
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CristoRey

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I agree, But you're talking about 100 years of hollywood glorifying criminals in movies. Plenty of actors were involved in the real thing. They still do it with ridiculously themed movies and 'made for tv' series. And they do it fast and furiously too.
Like I said....
Novelas aint helping either.
 

CristoRey

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They do have some tough laws on the books here regarding domestic violence. Just being accused of hitting a women, in some cases with zero real proof, will get you 90 days of preventive custody.
 

Big

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all men are bad. Lock them all up because if they haven't done anything wrong now they will later. Castration before they are released. They get their orders from T.V
 

bob saunders

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I suspect you're mocking it but there are some very good projects being run with young men and women that aim to redefine the prevailing model of masculinity. It's an important part of the solution to the mindset and dynamics that lead to domestic violence and femicides.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/researcher-says-womens-in_b_222746 I know it isn't quite the same as the USA, but it isn't that much different either. There is still an attitude here that it is acceptable in certain circumstances. We had an incident in the school about 3 years ago where a guy came to the school at pick up time and gave his daughter ( around 7 years old) a hug and they started talking. All of a sudden the mother came up, gave him a little slap and then started in with a bunch of nasty language. He turned around and slugged her in the head and left. All the others mothers instead of taking her side were giving her the evil eye and talking about how she was lucking he didn't punch her harder. I never did find out the whole situation but I know that he was paying for the education and she was denying him access to his daughter. All I know is a year later the daughter was living with him.
 

zoomzx11

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Domestic violence does not go on in the US anything like the DR.

In the US you hit your wife leaving any physical evidence she calls the police, you are arrested.
After the divorce she lives in your former house and you pay child support every month or end up arrested again.
Behind in child support you cannot leave the US.
You run and the state will pay the child support until you are found where you are working via your social security number.
The police will travel out of state to arrest you and return you to face the judge.
You will be required to repay the state for monies they gave to support the wife and kids.
You pay the costs of your arrest and the cost of transport back to the wife's state of residency.
All it takes is some evidence of your assault on the wife that the police see and off you go in handcuffs.
You never see women with black eyes or bruised faces.
Even if the wife declines to press charges when there is evidence of her being struck you are arrested.
Most states have special phone numbers to report domestic violence.

Some men still learn the hard way but the lesson is learned once the wife realizes she has all the options.
Women who are abused and or abandoned with children are not left dependent on some hard drinking bum.

The DR claims concern for domestic violence but there is little will to enact the tough laws that will force change.
 
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bob saunders

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Domestic violence does not go on in the US anything like the DR.

In the US you hit your wife leaving any physical evidence she calls the police, you are arrested.
After the divorce she lives in your former house and you pay child support every month or end up arrested again.
Behind in child support you cannot leave the US.
You run and the state will pay the child support until you are found where you are working via your social security number.
The police will travel out of state to arrest you and return you to face the judge.
You will be required to repay the state for monies they gave to support the wife and kids.
You pay the costs of your arrest and the cost of transport back to the wife's state of residency.
All it takes is some evidence of your assault on the wife that the police see and off you go in handcuffs.
You never see women with black eyes or bruised faces.
Even if the wife declines to press charges when there is evidence of her being struck you are arrested.
Most states have special phone numbers to report domestic violence.

Some men still learn the hard way but the lesson is learned once the wife realizes she has all the options.
Women who are abused and or abandoned with children are not left dependent on some hard drinking bum.

The DR claims concern for domestic violence but there is little will to enact the tough laws that will force change.
I wasn't talking about the punishment, did you read the article?
 

zoomzx11

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/researcher-says-womens-in_b_222746 I know it isn't quite the same as the USA, but it isn't that much different either. There is still an attitude here that it is acceptable in certain circumstances. We had an incident in the school about 3 years ago where a guy came to the school at pick up time and gave his daughter ( around 7 years old) a hug and they started talking. All of a sudden the mother came up, gave him a little slap and then started in with a bunch of nasty language. He turned around and slugged her in the head and left. All the others mothers instead of taking her side were giving her the evil eye and talking about how she was lucking he didn't punch her harder. I never did find out the whole situation but I know that he was paying for the education and she was denying him access to his daughter. All I know is a year later the daughter was living with him.
Ok bob I read it.
The natural human inclination when struck is to strike back.
Women are normally so much smaller and weaker that following the natural inclination is a terrible idea.

The DR and the USA are night and day different regarding domestic violence, its acceptance and the laws against it.
In general women in the DR seem more likely to fight back than women in the US.
Could be because they know very well if they do not protect themselves there is no one to help them.

I worked in the medical field and frequently saw the results of men on women violence.
Lots of black eyes, split lips, missing teeth and sometimes more serious injuries.

Never remember a single man who suffered physical abuse from a woman.
Even the weakest of men, pot bellied and drunk is substantially stronger than most women.

My view is in the DR women are second class citizens.
 

CristoRey

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/researcher-says-womens-in_b_222746 I know it isn't quite the same as the USA, but it isn't that much different either. There is still an attitude here that it is acceptable in certain circumstances. We had an incident in the school about 3 years ago where a guy came to the school at pick up time and gave his daughter ( around 7 years old) a hug and they started talking. All of a sudden the mother came up, gave him a little slap and then started in with a bunch of nasty language. He turned around and slugged her in the head and left. All the others mothers instead of taking her side were giving her the evil eye and talking about how she was lucking he didn't punch her harder. I never did find out the whole situation but I know that he was paying for the education and she was denying him access to his daughter. All I know is a year later the daughter was living with him.
My advice would be to always keep
ya hands to yourself.
Sometimes a good run is better than a bad stand.
 

Auryn

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They do have some tough laws on the books here regarding domestic violence. Just being accused of hitting a women, in some cases with zero real proof, will get you 90 days of preventive custody.
True. Although it also often goes unreported because of that rule. Domestic disputes happen, there is screaming, neighbors call the cops, perpetrator flees, woman opens the door bruised and bloody, tells cops she fell. Her sons and daughters watch as the perp is welcomed back, often sooner than later.

One of the hardest cycles to break. La verdad.
 
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CristoRey

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True. Although it also often goes unreported because of that rule. Domestic disputes happen, there is screaming, neighbors call the cops, perpetrator flees, woman opens the door bruised and bloody, tells cops she fell. Her sons and daughters watch as the perp is welcomed back, often sooner than later.

One of the hardest cycles to break. La verdad.
The flip side is some women are up on this and will use it to extort men where there hasn't been any physical violence or threat of physical violence against them. Happens a lot during child custody battles or when mr faithful knocks up her best friend(s).
 
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Auryn

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The flip side is some women are up on this and will use it to extort men where there hasn't been any physical violence or threat of physical violence against them. Happens a lot during child custody battles or when mr faithful knocks up her best friend(s).
It happens, sure. But the actual beatings happen more often than the extortion.
 

bob saunders

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It happens, sure. But the actual beatings happen more often than the extortion.
Here is a study you are unaware of. One of my SIL is a native social worker in Winnipeg . She told me more or less the same. No macho Dominican guy would ever admit to it happening to him. One of our former teachers got throw in Jail in La Vega for 30 days and had a 6 month restraining order against her after she attacked her partner and put him in the hospital by hitting him with a baseball bat. https://aliesq.medium.com/extensive...ore-than-men-men-under-report-it-3bbaa4fbec9d The big problem in the DR seems to be with much older guy with teenaged or not much older females.
 
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