How to stop the femicides?

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Big

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The word for today is "responsibility"
as in personal responsibilty from both parties.
Correct again! Life is full of choices. You hear the same cop-out excuses that outsiders make for the woman here. " Oh she is a prostitute because she was a victim of abuse and has few opportunities" No, she elected that line of work because she can make triple in a few hours than what she would make all week standing on a factory floor in Santiago.
 

AlterEgo

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Do you think it’s a learned behavior rather than cultural? I can’t help looking at Mr AE’s family. 5 sons, 1 daughter. My mother-in-law was a strong woman, I mean she ruled that family with an iron fist. Demanded and got respect. The only one of her 6 kids who ever disagreed with her (to her face) was Mr AE. She was the disciplinarian. My father-in-law was military police, sometimes lived in other towns where he was stationed, so she was raising them alone sometimes. There is NO way any of her 5 boys would ever raise a hand to a woman. In fact, when their sister got married, Mr AE told her new husband that if he ever laid a hand on his sister he’d have Mr AE to answer to. (They’re divorced many years, but he’s still close to the family. He told Mr AE that he remembered those words on several occasions).
 

nanita

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Do you think it’s a learned behavior rather than cultural? I can’t help looking at Mr AE’s family. 5 sons, 1 daughter. My mother-in-law was a strong woman, I mean she ruled that family with an iron fist. Demanded and got respect. The only one of her 6 kids who ever disagreed with her (to her face) was Mr AE. She was the disciplinarian. My father-in-law was military police, sometimes lived in other towns where he was stationed, so she was raising them alone sometimes. There is NO way any of her 5 boys would ever raise a hand to a woman. In fact, when their sister got married, Mr AE told her new husband that if he ever laid a hand on his sister he’d have Mr AE to answer to. (They’re divorced many years, but he’s still close to the family. He told Mr AE that he remembered those words on several occasions).

I think a large part of culture IS learned behaviour... I have no doubt that among better Dominican families, parents teach their boys to NEVER hit a girl. Unfortunately, there is a 'barrio' culture (don't know how else to describe it) that is really prevalent in the country. AE, do you think this problem is getting better or worse over time in the DR?
 
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AlterEgo

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I think a large part of culture IS learned behaviour... I have no doubt that among better Dominican families, parents teach their boys to NEVER hit a girl. Unfortunately, there is a 'barrio' culture (don't know how else to describe it) that is really prevalent in the country. AE, do you think this problem is getting better or worse over time in the DR?
In my opinion only, over the 45 years that I’ve been in and out of DR, it’s much worse.
 
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bob saunders

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nothing says true love like slapping around your spouse, eh! It cuts both ways here. Any single gentleman here that has dated has met a woman with a hot temper.
My oldest son had a girlfriend like that. He suffered through two broken large screen TVs, several black eyes and a small stab wound in his forearm before he ran away from her. She stalked him on facebook for over a year after that. He is a good sized lad at 6 ft 1, 205 lbs and is a scrapper but he was brought up to never hit a woman. Thankfully he left before she stabbed in his sleep.
Punish an abused woman? For what

Punish an abused woman? For what?
You misunderstand, education is before the abuse to stop it before it starts, and yes women can be abusive as well. Many years ago a friend of my dads said " Men fight with their fists, and women with their mouths" It doesn't make it right but many a women has got hit for what comes out of their mouth. Words hurts too.
 

Auryn

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I think a large part of culture IS learned behaviour... I have no doubt that among better Dominican families, parents teach their boys to NEVER hit a girl. Unfortunately, there is a 'barrio' culture (don't know how else to describe it) that is really prevalent in the country. AE, do you think this problem is getting better or worse over time in the DR?
The abuse is not limited to the barrios. It is just quieter amongst the wealthy.
 

Sailor51

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These men prefer a hot one over an old used one? Good luck with changing this part of Dominican culture.
In some ways it's a competitive nature. Catch the biggest fish, have the big house, fastest car, etc. Naturally the prettiest woman.
But it all boils down to ego in the end. By the way, aren't there a lot of hot Cougars out there who want a younger man who can keep up with them?
 
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NanSanPedro

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In some ways it's a competitive nature. Catch the biggest fish, have the big house, fastest car, etc. Naturally the prettiest woman.
But it all boils down to ego in the end. By the way, aren't there a lot of hot Cougars out there who want a younger man who can keep up with them?

Excuse me, but you used hot and cougar in the same sentence.
 

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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Absolute and unequivocal horse shit that this is ever tolerated. No effin excuse and yes it pisses me off to no end. :mad:
So this is your response to "how to stop the femicides"?

Expats being enraged has been a helpful response to all sorts of issues in the DR?
What do you do when the abuser is a "person who belongs to the family of faith"?
They get special consideration?
 

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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Harsh punishment and education for both women and men.
exactly what type of harsh punishments?
Beat them then send them to school?
As someone who hangs around a school you ought to know that harsh punishment never works and in fact encourages violence.
bob, this is 2020, time to catch up.

Were you beaten as a child?
 
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zoomzx11

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Drama.
Its part of their culture.
Some men deal with it better
than others. Novelas aint helping
either. Unfortunately many of
these "men" grow up without a
real man in their lives so they've
never learned how to behave like
a man and some of these women
are being raised by mothers who
encourage promiscuity.
Cultural drama and novellas, the root of the evil.
Children need "a real man" ( like you eh)
And its the moms fault for "encouraging promiscuity???
Hmmm. Women being beaten by the men in their lives because they are promiscuous.
Is that what happened to you, women were promiscuous?

What world do you live in where women are not free to choose?
We have posters here who brag incessantly about their promiscuity, "being real men"
Women are free to choose any behavior they like that is legal and does not hurt others.

Look up the word anachronism.
This is 2020 and women have rights equal to you.
 

zoomzx11

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Perphaps they should take a serious look starting "post" relationship counceling centers for these man childs. I'm not joking. I've known more than one guy in this country who was unfaithful to his women and made no bones about killing her if she ever left him or did the same.
Perphaps they should take a serious look starting "post" relationship counceling centers for these man childs.
This makes more sense as a joke.
Are you aware this is about the Dominican Republic?
Counseling for what?
You think the children who are products of abusive relationships think "they" have a problem.
 

zoomzx11

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Jan 21, 2006
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When I was a kid in the last millenium, we were raised never to hit a girl or a woman. A man who was known as a wife beater was viewed as lower than whale shit. It just wasn't my family either, it was our entire community, from church to school to wherever. My parents had a great marriage so there was rarely anger present. My uncle and aunt had a shitty marriage but he would never have touched her in anger. It's just something everyone grew up with.

That philosophy is absent here it seems. The men should be shaming any other man who hits his wife/girlfriend. There can be no tolerance for violence like that.
Ever heard of "platitudes"?

Times have changed since you were and kid and left you behind.
You honestly propose "man shaming"?
Try man shaming on the next Dominican you hear in the gym hanging with his pals bragging what he will do to his gf if he ever catches her even looking at another man.
Come into reality.
 
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