I found This Hard to Believe

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Yourmaninvegas

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kenshireen said:
My WORSE fear about going down and being with her is that she will not be able to relate to the life I would like her to experience. I know for myself that I cannot live in poverty and I would have to take her away from her aunts/cousins... She has no parents.
I would obviously would take her children. I know she desires things that I can provide for.... and I am ok for her asking. This is just human nature. When you love someone you want to provide if you have the means.
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Warning @kenshireen
You are on a dangerous path.
You cannot provide for just her.
If you purchase...you will be purchasing the entire lot.
They all come with you‼️
Not just the one that you fancy.
And you can keep my words in the front of your mind or you can put them in the trash can.
Big boy rules apply.
 
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johne

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kenshireen said:
You're breaking my heart with the truth... On her days off she sits with her Tias and primas in broken down gravely yards sitting on crappy plastic chairs and just playing with phones or whatever... They have no hobbies... no pasttimes....no outside interests...

My WORSE fear about going down and being with her is that she will not be able to relate to the life I would like her to experience. I know for myself that I cannot live in poverty and I would have to take her away from her aunts/cousins... She has no parents.
I would obviously would take her children. I know she desires things that I can provide for.... and I am ok for her asking. This is just human nature. When you love someone you want to provide if you have the means.

I have told her the only requirement i have is to be 100% honest and speak the truth. I was very clear when I made this statement and followed it with a warning that if there is ever any form of deception that I will be gone from her life forever. Only once before did she try for "something extra" and I told her that this was her last chance. I know she looks at me as a way out of poverty,,, but can you remove the poverty from the person.

You got to realize I am married and my wife loves me and wants me.. It's a f*ing nightmare. I love 2 women...2 women love me. My Wife REALLY loves me but I have never physically been with my GF since I met her last august at the hotel. Yet I have an extreme connection with the DR woman and its not based on her appearance. I see her without any makeup most of the time. Many of these woman don't have "natural beauty" but rather when they are made up they look like another person.
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May I ask how will you get away for a month? I assume wife #1 knows nothing.Secondly...are you not in favor of unconditional love with love#2?
And third: How are you taking her out of poverty (since you are not willing to live in a tin roof schack in the campo)?. Good intentions Ken but I guess we all would want to hear more of the plan or "the big picture". Fire away.
 
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johne

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How could she possibly "relate to the life YOU want her to experience." Follow the logic of the members thoughts on the "boat" issue. That is a drop in the water of what I think you want her to understand in the big issues.. How you do dat amigo?
 
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franco1111

franco1111

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Yourmaninvegas said:
You are on a dangerous path.
You cannot provide for just her.
If you purchase...you will be purchasing the entire lot.
They all come with you‼️
Not just the one that you fancy.
And you can keep my words in the front of your mind or you can put them in the trash can.
Big boy rules apply.
Click to expand...
The truth. (I am married to such a family.). Don't risk what you can't afford to lose. This guy is naive beyond belief. See #44 above.
 
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Yourmaninvegas

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franco1111 said:
Don't risk what you can't afford to lose.
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I was told when I was moving here that all the money you spend/invest here is like throwing it into a black hole.
You may leave the island but 💵 will never leave with you.
It's 💸

Remember the commercial:
This is meat
This is a school of piranhas
This is meat thrown into a school of piranhas.
🤪
 
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kenshireen

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May 21, 2022
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johne said:
May I ask how will you get away for a month? I assume wife #1 knows nothing.Secondly...are you not in favor of unconditional love with love#2?
And third: How are you taking her out of poverty (since you are not willing to live in a tin roof schack in the campo)?. Good intentions Ken but I guess we all would want to hear more of the plan or "the big picture". Fire away.
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Assumption about wife #1 is incorrect. She knows and has known for 8 months. Now gave me an ultimatum. Not sure what I will do.

Unconditional love is a very special emotion. The only condition I ask for is honesty. I have loved the DR woman unconditionally and never asked for anything in return.
I would "take her out of poverty" by providing better living accommodations, possibly even getting a house (that she really wants), and letting her experience parts of DR life that she desires but cannot afford.. She REALLY wants to own a house. If I bought a house it would NOT be in her name though.. I have not gotten to this level of communication with her yet and don't know how she would react..

My PLAN,, and note this is only a plan. Would be to rent an apartment and live with her and her 2 children for an extended period of time... months.... to see how we fit together.... I am not a pipe dreamer.... I know that our cultural differences, language etc can be major obstacles. Because of my our differences I do not want any more ninos. I would fly back and forth between US and DR since I do have children here. I have no plans on bringing her to US... She speaks no English.

The house she rents in Romana looks pretty decent from the inside,, I have never seen the outside. The place she lives with her cousin in Veron I have no idea... She said it is not as nice. I am going to ask her to send me a picture of the outside. But I doubt that you would classify it as a shack in the campo.
 
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kenshireen

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johne said:
How could she possibly "relate to the life YOU want her to experience." Follow the logic of the members thoughts on the "boat" issue. That is a drop in the water of what I think you want her to understand in the big issues.. How you do dat amigo?
Click to expand...
She can't relate because she doesn't have a reference. But that doesn't mean she is unable to expand her horizons and be open to learning and experiencing parts of life she is not familiar with
 
drstock

drstock

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kenshireen said:
You're breaking my heart with the truth... On her days off she sits with her Tias and primas in broken down gravely yards sitting on crappy plastic chairs and just playing with phones or whatever... They have no hobbies... no pasttimes....no outside interests...

My WORSE fear about going down and being with her is that she will not be able to relate to the life I would like her to experience. I know for myself that I cannot live in poverty and I would have to take her away from her aunts/cousins... She has no parents.
I would obviously would take her children. I know she desires things that I can provide for.... and I am ok for her asking. This is just human nature. When you love someone you want to provide if you have the means.

I have told her the only requirement i have is to be 100% honest and speak the truth. I was very clear when I made this statement and followed it with a warning that if there is ever any form of deception that I will be gone from her life forever. Only once before did she try for "something extra" and I told her that this was her last chance. I know she looks at me as a way out of poverty,,, but can you remove the poverty from the person.

You got to realize I am married and my wife loves me and wants me.. It's a f*ing nightmare. I love 2 women...2 women love me. My Wife REALLY loves me but I have never physically been with my GF since I met her last august at the hotel. Yet I have an extreme connection with the DR woman and its not based on her appearance. I see her without any makeup most of the time. Many of these woman don't have "natural beauty" but rather when they are made up they look like another person.
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You have to realise that the way she lives is similar to the majority of Dominicans. The fact that she has a job is very good for her.

I don't want to be cynical and hope it all turns out for the best for you both. But 100% honesty is a very hard quality to find here.

As you have chosen to open up about your life here on a public forum I assume you really want advice. Mine would be to do all you can to keep the current wife on board until you have spent much longer with the girlfriend.
 
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william webster

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You don't have to ALL cohabitate together - chldren, et al
side by side apartments so the adults have some privacy when needed

Just an idea... might work out....IMO, worth a try
 
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kenshireen

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drstock said:
As you have chosen to open up about your life here on a public forum I assume you really want advice. Mine would be to do all you can to keep the current wife on board until you have spent much longer with the girlfriend.
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This is will be impossible my friend. My wife knows all about this woman and she is not going to allow me to do a test run with her. She will divorce me as soon as I go down there.
The sad thing is that I think I love this DR woman, who I have been in contact with for only one year, more than my wife of 29 years.
 
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bob saunders

bob saunders

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kenshireen said:
This is will be possible my friend. My wife knows all about this woman and she is not going to allow me to do a test run with her. She will divorce me as soon as I go down there.
The sad thing is that I think I love this DR woman, who I have been in contact with for only one year, more than my wife of 29 years.
Click to expand...
Maybe you are in love with the dream.
 
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kenshireen

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Yourmaninvegas said:
Warning @kenshireen
You are on a dangerous path.
You cannot provide for just her.
If you purchase...you will be purchasing the entire lot.
They all come with you‼️
Not just the one that you fancy.
And you can keep my words in the front of your mind or you can put them in the trash can.
Big boy rules apply.
Click to expand...
What do you mean they all come with her. I get her a nice place to live with her kids and me and then what happens? She only has a couple of aunts and cousins
 
bob saunders

bob saunders

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package deal, I do more for my MNIL than her own son does. I get her meds, look after her house, ...etc. Her son eats the food she prepares especially for him, on my wife and I's dime.
 
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