I found This Hard to Believe

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johne

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Jun 28, 2003
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Very simple answer: You don't know the culture of this country and you are certain you can change it. Nope.
 
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KyleMackey

Bronze
Apr 20, 2015
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Is it not possible to better the life of another person. Provide a better quality...better medical care...etc
Ken there is something called the duty to proximity. IIRC you are 75, married, guessing you had 3 offspring and who knows how many grandkids. This is where you duty and obligation is. Nowhere else. But then again you might just be trolling us as a PSA.
 

flyinroom

Silver
Aug 26, 2012
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I know this woman is not anywhere on the same socioeconomic, intellectual wavelength as I am. But that really doesn't matter. I am drawn to her resilience, her intestinal fortitude, her loyalty, When I mention the disparity in age..40 years... and when i tell her that I have maybe 10 more active years and I don't want to burden her, she replies I would never be considered a burden and that she would care for me.

Age disparity of 40 years?
So...
That would make you somewhere around 74?
I'm not far off that same age and I can tell you that I am more emotionally touched by things than I ever was at a younger age.
Perhaps you are simply experiencing a strong reaction to the unfairness of life and you have zeroed in on this woman because she just happened to be standing in front of you when the emotion bubbled up.
Along the lines of...There but for the grace of God go I.
It doesn't make a lot of sense to disrupt your family for a person you know not at all.
An elderly gentlemen can be a heck of a juicy target for a younger woman prepared to wait a couple of years for that huge financial windfall.
I'm sure your wife has considered that and has probably decided that you are "off your gourd".
There are legal considerations here and it's a safe bet that your wife is thinking them through.
You might be wise to remember that...
The grass is not always greener on the other side.
 

kenshireen

Active member
May 21, 2022
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Ken there is something called the duty to proximity. IIRC you are 75, married, guessing you had 3 offspring and who knows how many grandkids. This is where you duty and obligation is. Nowhere else. But then again you might just be trolling us as a PSA.
4 kids one grandchild. Bad marriage and a woman I love in the DR. That is where I am
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
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Ken, I’ve stayed completely out of this from the beginning but I’m sitting here shaking my head that you’re saying you still love your wife too. You seem to be having a very delayed midlife crisis.

This Dominican woman ….. she’s like half your age, and I’m sorry, but there is no way you can compare to a Dominican man her own age, except that you have money. She will tell you anything and everything to have access to it. Trust me, I know Dominicans. Rich ones, poor ones, working class, etc, since 1975. We live in the USA but have had family, property and a home in DR over 40 years to. I’ve heard our maid tell her granddaughter that she has to find a Canadian or an American man, an old one with money. Drummed it into her head since she was a small girl. Now she’s about 18-19, has a baby with a local tigure, but abuela is still telling her to never give up on finding that gringo. Convince him you love him so he buys a house and marries you. If she finds one, the entire family and neighborhood will play their parts to convince him of her love. It’s a community effort. I’ve seen it with my own eyes more times than I care to remember. There’s so much you don’t know about DR and Dominicans.

Are there exceptions? Of course. VERY few and far between. Be very very careful, you may find yourself without either of your women, but with a very sad and bitter tale to tell.
 

kenshireen

Active member
May 21, 2022
234
72
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usa
Age disparity of 40 years?
So...
That would make you somewhere around 74?
I'm not far off that same age and I can tell you that I am more emotionally touched by things than I ever was at a younger age.
Perhaps you are simply experiencing a strong reaction to the unfairness of life and you have zeroed in on this woman because she just happened to be standing in front of you when the emotion bubbled up.
Along the lines of...There but for the grace of God go I.
It doesn't make a lot of sense to disrupt your family for a person you know not at all.
An elderly gentlemen can be a heck of a juicy target for a younger woman prepared to wait a couple of years for that huge financial windfall.
I'm sure your wife has considered that and has probably decided that you are "off your gourd".
There are legal considerations here and it's a safe bet that your wife is thinking them through.
You might be wise to remember that...
The grass is not always greener on the other side.
Very astute hypothesis. She thought I was in my 40's until I told her my age. God has blessed me with some good Genes.
Life is not unfair... everybody is where they are supposed to be.
I see her very day, I communicate with her everyday, I get videos of her children, and aunts... I would hardly say that I know her not at all.
I'm not looking for green grass. I'm looking to meet the woman who I have fallen in love with and see if we are compatible.

I am fully aware of legal considerations both her and there.
 

kenshireen

Active member
May 21, 2022
234
72
28
usa
Perfect. Nothing more to be said.
Ken, I’ve stayed completely out of this from the beginning but I’m sitting here shaking my head that you’re saying you still love your wife too. You seem to be having a very delayed midlife crisis.

This Dominican woman ….. she’s like half your age, and I’m sorry, but there is no way you can compare to a Dominican man her own age, except that you have money. She will tell you anything and everything to have access to it. Trust me, I know Dominicans. Rich ones, poor ones, working class, etc, since 1975. We live in the USA but have had family, property and a home in DR over 40 years to. I’ve heard our maid tell her granddaughter that she has to find a Canadian or an American man, an old one with money. Drummed it into her head since she was a small girl. Now she’s about 18-19, has a baby with a local tigure, but abuela is still telling her to never give up on finding that gringo. Convince him you love him so he buys a house and marries you. If she finds one, the entire family and neighborhood will play their parts to convince him of her love. It’s a community effort. I’ve seen it with my own eyes more times than I care to remember. There’s so much you don’t know about DR and Dominicans.

Are there exceptions? Of course. VERY few and far between. Be very very careful, you may find yourself without either of your women, but with a very sad and bitter tale to tell.
thank you.. i'm going the exception route. I am going to tell her today if I buy a house it will be in my name and see how she reacts. I know she wants one vry badly
 

keepcoming

Moderator - Living & General Stuff
May 25, 2011
3,163
479
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OP, please read very carefully what AE wrote, it is about as honest as you're going to get. I have been here many many years and cannot tell you the horror stories I have seen/heard. I still am not convinced all this is 100% true but as someone with common sense/knowledge of how things work here, her feelings for you are not the same as you have for her. She will tell you whatever you want to hear once you tell her about buying a house. Come on, you cannot be that naive. Trust me you are NOT the exception. A house, really...lol. Come back and tell us what your wife does about you buying a house in DR for you and this woman. Now that will be entertainment.
 
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franco1111

Bronze
May 29, 2013
1,172
164
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Gringo
thank you.. i'm going the exception route. I am going to tell her today if I buy a house it will be in my name and see how she reacts. I know she wants one vry badly
Won't make any difference. She is playing the long game. You will put the house in her name before long and think you made the decision. You should listen to AE. She knows more than most on this board. Because she has lived it for many years.
 
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kenshireen

Active member
May 21, 2022
234
72
28
usa
OP, please read very carefully what AE wrote, it is about as honest as you're going to get. I have been here many many years and cannot tell you the horror stories I have seen/heard. I still am not convinced all this is 100% true but as someone with common sense/knowledge of how things work here, her feelings for you are not the same as you have for her. She will tell you whatever you want to hear once you tell her about buying a house. Come on, you cannot be that naive. Trust me you are NOT the exception. A house, really...lol
I have one question for anybody who wants to take a stab. She never even knew my age when we started getting "together"

How do you know that THIS woman does not love me?
 

kenshireen

Active member
May 21, 2022
234
72
28
usa
Ken, I’ve stayed completely out of this from the beginning but I’m sitting here shaking my head that you’re saying you still love your wife too. You seem to be having a very delayed midlife crisis.

This Dominican woman ….. she’s like half your age, and I’m sorry, but there is no way you can compare to a Dominican man her own age, except that you have money. She will tell you anything and everything to have access to it. Trust me, I know Dominicans. Rich ones, poor ones, working class, etc, since 1975. We live in the USA but have had family, property and a home in DR over 40 years to. I’ve heard our maid tell her granddaughter that she has to find a Canadian or an American man, an old one with money. Drummed it into her head since she was a small girl. Now she’s about 18-19, has a baby with a local tigure, but abuela is still telling her to never give up on finding that gringo. Convince him you love him so he buys a house and marries you. If she finds one, the entire family and neighborhood will play their parts to convince him of her love. It’s a community effort. I’ve seen it with my own eyes more times than I care to remember. There’s so much you don’t know about DR and Dominicans.

Are there exceptions? Of course. VERY few and far between. Be very very careful, you may find yourself without either of your women, but with a very sad and bitter tale to tell.
You live here so I cannot question your wisdom.
You are also correct that I cannot compare to a domincan man her age because I would be loyal, faithful, provide for her and her family, and be by her side when she needed me
 

KyleMackey

Bronze
Apr 20, 2015
3,085
791
113
4 kids one grandchild. Bad marriage and a woman I love in the DR. That is where I am
And you have never been on a "date" with her. You love being Captain Save a Hoe. Maybe you were always a good regular American Joe, a good Husband and Dad. Maybe your wife never appreciated it, maybe you never appreciated her. Who knows. You are not even divorced. You are still married. If the marriage is bad get a divorce. All you are going to do is funnel money to a woman (who has steady dick) that you know nothing about. And if, as you claim, she has time to talk to you every single day for almost 1 month then your problems are in your head. There are plenty of people that need help in the USA, without you needing to stick your penis into it. OK.
 

SantiagoDR

The "REAL" SantiagoDR
Jan 12, 2006
5,639
751
113
thank you.. i'm going the exception route. I am going to tell her today if I buy a house it will be in my name and see how she reacts. I know she wants one vry badly
If you buy a house don't let her talk you into putting it in both your names.
Inheritance/Ownership laws are very complex here.
 

Yourmaninvegas

Well-known member
Feb 16, 2016
2,416
1,685
113
-
Have a relationship with a woman here.
Put her in a house that you bought in your name.
And see what happens when it comes time to put her out.
Better go see your abogado.
A really good one.
That specializes in that type of law here.
Remember she has home field advantage.
 

franco1111

Bronze
May 29, 2013
1,172
164
63
Gringo
Sounds cynical verdad. I won't post in this thread again. Unless something really eye opening happens. Like you send us photos from Las Americas or PUJ. You know all you need to know. Buena suerte.
 

franco1111

Bronze
May 29, 2013
1,172
164
63
Gringo
Have a relationship with a woman here.
Put her in a house that you bought in your name.
And see what happens when it comes time to put her out.
Better go see your abogado.
A really good one.
That specializes in that type of law here.
Remember she has home field advantage.
Jjj. The real accountant.
 
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