Who was our member that said never marry down. Look at your relationship success over the years. You are true partners. All this other nonsense is for men that never grew up.
- Thread starter kenshireen
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I found This Hard to Believe
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I was on vacation at Secrets for a week, Every morning I would go to the omelet station have get tres huevos. Then I would go to the next station where they served side dishes like potatoes, bacon, sausage, etc. SHE was the one behind the counter who would provide these... There was very little communication other than me asking for what I wanted and saying thank you. One day I was practicing my spanish and I said me gustas. She just smiled.
On my next to last day I asked her for email...she gave it to me.. On my last day I asked for her telephone number and she slid it under a plate.
I asked her if she was married or had a boyfriend and she said no. I asked her if I could give her a hug good-bye and she said ok. Then I left with my wife.
All the interaction was always initiated by me.
That is exactly how we met.
A Cousin ( female) of mine did the exact same thing ... I would love to tell the story one day, perhaps with her permission.. Its an absolute Doozey
And NO ONE including myself was able to talk her out of it .. The worst Part .. she was into going to Puerto Rico, and learned Spanish really well .. has a Lot of Puerto Rican Friends , I AM THE A HOLE who talked her into Going to the DR , by herself , just to have some fun and get away and enjoy some really nice Beaches . She went and had a blast ..
but , then When she told us that she fell in love with a Dancer at the AI, literally like the FIRST Dominican Man who HIT on her ... I thought she was joking ... a year later they were married , she brought him to the USA. Her Facebook Photos of their years together was like something out of a Kardashian Show .. Out to Fancy Dinner every week. Shows , places , just not stop fun .. one day , she erased all the photos with him .. it was about 3 years later he had Cleaned her OUT financially . no Kids thank God .. they got divorced, finally
This stuff is as REAL as it gets , it happens every day , to Women and Men ..Some of us have had Front Row Seats to it .
and to us looking at it from the Outside its like " no you cant be doing this, for real ? " ,but to them it IS REAL ..
I'm in a Marriage with a Dom Woman I have known for like 12 years now, lets say much younger and leave it there , . married over 5, and never better . we do NOT support her Family , except on Holidays with some Gifts for the Kids etc . Even when we visit , we do NOT bring gifts for the extended family ..
.. there are exceptions , hopefully .
or maybe its all an Illusion.. and they are all just waiting for us to drop dead and leave them everything . , who knows.
Bottom line , there is NOTHING you can do to talk him out of it .. Its his Journey ,and he has to see it through ..
If he does not do it , he will hate himself even more because he will think he missed the opportunity of his Life .
If it goes bad , oh well, lesson learned .. Life goes on .. Next .
AE... my intent was not to disparage Dominican men... I am the last person to make judgments. Maybe I was premature about the comments and I do apologize. I was only passing along what I have heard from several women who live in that country including my GF. You obviously found a good one.
Listen I have listened to all the comments... some cynical others constructive. I understand what the party line is... the general consensus about how DR women are wired from birth. Most of them are looking for a way out... money. I get it... I have been around the world many times. These guys try to make fun of me but I have more wisdom than they are aware of.
The bottom line is that I am following my heart on this one and although the odds are stacked against me... I will take the risk. I am very intuitive and don't follow the road most travelled. If it doesn't work out I will have zero regrets because I did what I believed felt right to me
First of all, there is no way this is a real story. However, I'm certain it was crafted to be. How many fixer-upper gringos are still out there? I thought that went out with the argyle sweater. There is no fixer upper, we all know that. Hey, I even tried it years ago out of my own arrogance and ignorance. The gringos aren't gonna save "these poor Dominican people." Not with our clean the beaches, feed the beach dogs or fund a student programs. Imagine the arrogance we think our way is what they all want. If i was poor and destitute, i would want financial help, period. My ex (Dominican) years back said something to me one night while we were out dancing: "look at that gringo over there. He thinks she'll love him, how stupid". She was indicating a few things with that comment, and it really sank in for me. Foremost being the cultural differences. I know how to dance a bachata, but not like a Dominican guy, i know how to schmooze a gal, but not like how the dominican men do to their women. At the end of the day too much of age and cultural differences do not work. You have a sad gal or one that is always running a side scam. Poor old Roy VanTinteren found out the hard way. Same goes for older women and their sanky dreams, and we know too well those horror stories.
If your sort of thing is a younger insert identity, go for it. But you'll have better luck just paying for it and each go their own way. We all pay anyway. I can't imagine success unless you are in a relationship like AE describes. Similar age bracket, education level, etc. Interests will be more of a match and you'll have more support from a true partner than any fixer upper you think you're going to "rescue".
If your sort of thing is a younger insert identity, go for it. But you'll have better luck just paying for it and each go their own way. We all pay anyway. I can't imagine success unless you are in a relationship like AE describes. Similar age bracket, education level, etc. Interests will be more of a match and you'll have more support from a true partner than any fixer upper you think you're going to "rescue".
That is a great story.. thank you for sharing. I assume you live in the states?
Your last paragraph is very prophetic. It is my journey.. My life has been good to me and I am willing to help another soul and her family because this is a need that I have. I want to give love unconditionally. If it doesn't work out I will be fine with that. I know the risks.
The Dancer initiated the action in your cousin's situation. I initiated it in mine. My marriage is in turmoil and that is another personal problem I need to resolve before I complete my journey.
Thank you again for opening up
Real Story..not a schoozer...no scam...girl lonely...I don't buy that age and cultural differences can't be bridged with love.
my wife is 23 years younger...comes from a different culture which hates mine. We got along for 29 years.
Generalizations don't apply to everybody
"It's been a long while since Hillbilly's 3 Rules for getting serious with a Dominican have been posted, so for the benefit of all of you who've joined us the past couple/few years, here they are: (they apply equally for males or females)"
Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for getting serious with a Resort worker or any other Dominican for that matter:
1) He has a bank account equal to your own-in pesos, not dollars or pounds (You have 100 pounds, he has 100 pesos, that's all.). He has a Credit Card and can write a cheque.
2) He has a Visa to travel to the US or Canada
3) He is educated to the equivalent of your own level: High School, Tech School whatever.....
Respectfully,
Playacaribe2
That list is not quite Strict enough .
but thanks
Check, check and check .. I agree you have to EASILY qualify on that list , or exceed it .
there are many more we could add .
I would say
4)- she has a deep desire to WORK ( especially if she is young) , or at least takes an interest in your Business , and not just for the Money, but because she genuinely enjoys it and wants to help you go to the next level ..
5)- she wants to start a Family with YOU. ( if you are past this age, then ok, you get a pass)
6)- she does not Waste Money , EVER . although she enjoys nice things she does not waste your hard earned money
7)- she has not broken a Smart phone in YEARS , and you literally have to tell Her, Hey its time for a new phone.
8)- She is not crazy about Jewelry ,or that type of showing off.. this is a really good sign
and last but not least
9)- She LOVES to COOK for you . and is really really good at it .
feel free to add more.
That's a huge age difference. The bigger the age difference, the more likely the other person is in for a benefit. Men often can get away with a bigger age difference than women, but 40 years+?That's pushing it way too far.
Of course a Dominican can love a gringo. I am Dominican and my ex was a gringo that I loved very much. I actually had so much more in common with him than with my current bf, who is Dominican. We Liked the same music, the same type of food, enjoyed traveling, etc. But we were about the same age, I already had a visa, and no kids, so wasn´t looking for someone as child support. My mother had a business ,and my sibblings jobs, and supported themselves, so I wasn't looking to support my family either. They didn't even want me to be with a gringo.
Think about what she sees in you. Perhaps being with you is a sacrifice she's willing to make. She's going to take one for the team, and help her loved ones out of poverty. That doesn't men she's a bad person. God knows what she's been through. After all, she is a mother, and must be looking for stability, and a positive father figure for her kids. And hey, it´s not that you're being selfless etiher, you must be enjoying the fact that you can have someone younger and prettier than you wife, and they both want you. Dos mujeres, un camino! There is some vanity in there. I don't see you as a good samaritan or a victim either. If you want to "help her", you could do that as a friend.
Of course a Dominican can love a gringo. I am Dominican and my ex was a gringo that I loved very much. I actually had so much more in common with him than with my current bf, who is Dominican. We Liked the same music, the same type of food, enjoyed traveling, etc. But we were about the same age, I already had a visa, and no kids, so wasn´t looking for someone as child support. My mother had a business ,and my sibblings jobs, and supported themselves, so I wasn't looking to support my family either. They didn't even want me to be with a gringo.
Think about what she sees in you. Perhaps being with you is a sacrifice she's willing to make. She's going to take one for the team, and help her loved ones out of poverty. That doesn't men she's a bad person. God knows what she's been through. After all, she is a mother, and must be looking for stability, and a positive father figure for her kids. And hey, it´s not that you're being selfless etiher, you must be enjoying the fact that you can have someone younger and prettier than you wife, and they both want you. Dos mujeres, un camino! There is some vanity in there. I don't see you as a good samaritan or a victim either. If you want to "help her", you could do that as a friend.
Beautifully written. And I might add he can "help " from his own country, eliminating the need to come here and get educated in the ways of the culture in the DR. He can find that information here on DR1 and save himself the cost of air travel. Very expensive these days. All he needs to know from that point on, is she OK with last month's remittance, and how he may help are further.Easy peasy.
It's not about love in the North American/European sense. Love is a different beast when the person is of a lower socio-economic standard.
To a North American/European, love is compatibility, shared goals, shared values, and hobbies, etc. To someone from a lower socio-economic level, love is making sure there is food on the table, and a roof over head, and that the family can survive another day. You don't have time to think about compatibility/shared values/hobbies/goals when you're struggling to survive on a daily basis, and trying to find a way to make your life a little bit easier.
There are many kinds of love..... absolutely correct.
Just good company can suffice in some cases.
Just good company can suffice in some cases.
When we are registering children, if only the mother shows up, first things asked - who paying, where is the father of the child, do you work...etc. Lots of Dominican women have children out of wedlock and it isn't uncommon for them to have a child with each guy they shack up with. My wife's cousin has been married twice but he has children with half a dozen women. He at least pays for his kids and pays a lot of attention to them.
Why in Gods name do these women or guys not use protection. Especially If the woman knows that there is a good chance that the guy who gets her pregnant will in all likelihood not be around. Don't these women get jealous that the man that impregnates them is probably also sleeping with another woman somewhere else.
Your cousin must be well off... Not sure how much he would pay in total if he is paying for 6 children
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