I need to vent..Please tell me why!!!

keepcoming

Silver
May 25, 2011
2,790
51
48
Bare with me but I really need to vent. Why ( and yes I could probably answer this myself) is it when you explain to someone what the process is ( paperwork etc...) do they not listen and then come back and blame you because it did not work. Or ( and this is the good one) they will tell you "Juan/Juana" said that you do not need to do that because they did it like this. OMG spent my precious time helping someone do some legal paperwork. Told them exactly where and when it needed to be done. Told them exactly what papers they needed to take with them and what happens I get 50 da*m texts telling me when they went there they could not do the process because the paperwork they had was not the "legal" copy. OMG how times did I tell these people you have to take the originals NOT the fax copy. I know I have lived here a long time and should be used to this but it amazes me everytime. No matter how many times you tell someone or show someone how something should be done its like there is the correct way and then what I call the " Juan/Juana" way. And everytime the "Juan/Juana way wins over the correct way. And then it is my fault. I know why do I bother!!!!!!:tired: Unfortunately this was a member of spouses family can't change my number..lol!!!! Thanks for letting me vent..Have a great day!!!!!
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
234
0
Feel any better?

I think the TV needs to go out the window also, just to be sure you have it all off your chest!!!
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
410
83
I've run into this many times and have heard others say the same thing. They (I assume we are talking about Dominicans) will generally believe anyone but you!

That's as uncomplicated as I can put it ;)
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,946
501
113
Having lived through similar situations and tried to remedy the stupidest of mistakes made because "they told me to do it like this", I can certainly understand your vent. Just know that it is endemic to the culture and step back. Don't try to help. If they ask for it, tell them to get a lawyer, that you cannot do this sort of stuff, the "consul" told you not to,,,etc etc etc... It is the only way to avoid all this crappo...

HB
 

keepcoming

Silver
May 25, 2011
2,790
51
48
Thank you, I do not feel so alone :D. Honestly there were some things flying, my phone!!!! No problem I will get a new one. Spouse will be paying!! I know I really should know by now just to keep my mouth shut and not offer any type of help. Lord knows they never listen to me!!!! I mean this family is educated but all that education and common sense goes out the window. The only answer I could give them was " are you fr***ng serious... I know all Dominicans are not like this but da*n there is not 1 day that does not go by that I do not encounter this. Maybe for them common sense makes too much sense. Heck I showed the instructions/process to them in espanol and they still did not want to believe what was right in front of them.Ok I am done!!!!!!! I will move on.
 

HumbleHindu

New member
Jan 14, 2010
326
6
0
I live with this situation everyday. Especially it is a hell when coordinating the logistics. Even they repeat the same thing every time, they will not correct themselves and do the same mistake everyday. Many times I had involved myself to train them and now they started to think it is my duty. I understand your frustration.
 

mobrouser

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
2,250
26
48
Not to go off topic....

Bare with me but I really need to vent...
:nervous: please tell me that someone else other than me started to laugh when they read this.
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
376
0
Bare with me but I really need to vent. Why ( and yes I could probably answer this myself) is it when you explain to someone what the process is ( paperwork etc...) do they not listen and then come back and blame you because it did not work. Or ( and this is the good one) they will tell you "Juan/Juana" said that you do not need to do that because they did it like this. OMG spent my precious time helping someone do some legal paperwork. Told them exactly where and when it needed to be done. Told them exactly what papers they needed to take with them and what happens I get 50 da*m texts telling me when they went there they could not do the process because the paperwork they had was not the "legal" copy. OMG how times did I tell these people you have to take the originals NOT the fax copy. I know I have lived here a long time and should be used to this but it amazes me everytime. No matter how many times you tell someone or show someone how something should be done its like there is the correct way and then what I call the " Juan/Juana" way. And everytime the "Juan/Juana way wins over the correct way. And then it is my fault. I know why do I bother!!!!!!:tired: Unfortunately this was a member of spouses family can't change my number..lol!!!! Thanks for letting me vent..Have a great day!!!!!
If you paid attention you would learned when CC said "they know how to do everything, but nothing ever gets done." Juana's information was better than yours because everyone is looking for an easier way to accomplish a simple task. I dont know you man, but I KNOW you told them to bring the originals. But Juana told them a copy should be good enough. You told them to bring an official certified birth certificate but Juana told them their cedula should suffice. Bro, everyone here has been through that. You dont know how to do anything but you are the only person getting it done.

Everything in every event is exactly the same. They make decisions based on wacked out advice from the peanut gallery versus listening to the guy who is clearly exposed to the requirements. Its like someone telling you they want to blaze their own trail but blaming you when they dig themselves into a ditch. Even though you made it specifically clear that they were steering towards swampland. <--What an analogy.
 
Last edited:

CaptnGlenn

Silver
Mar 29, 2010
2,321
26
0
no good deed goes unpunished... including, and maybe even most of all, offering advice or information.
 

pelaut

Bronze
Aug 5, 2007
1,089
32
0
www.ThornlessPath.com
Sounds like it's Dominicans who eschew your good advice, then spurn you when they don't take it andf fail.
If you really want to rant (%#@&!), give a newbie expat your hard-won decades of experience, and see what happens.

Hillbilly's right. Blow them off to a Dominican lawyer. If they're going to screw themselves anyway, let a professional do it!
 

SKY

Gold
Apr 11, 2004
9,959
269
83
I have one rule that an oldtimer gave me many years ago. "Never recommend a Lawyer or a Doctor to anyone." If they are happy it is expected, if not it is your fault.
 

zoomzx11

Gold
Jan 21, 2006
7,464
136
63
Anyone ever tell the wife exactly what is wrong with the car and how much it will cost to fix it only to have her come back and tell you that Jose in the gas station said something completely different and she believes him. And, you have a long history with her of being correct when the subject is cars. Its the nature of the beast!!!
 

keepcoming

Silver
May 25, 2011
2,790
51
48
I learned way back at the beginning (with my in-laws) NEVER do it their way. Made that mistake 1 time and it cost me double. And to this day ( been about 15 years ago it happened) I still can not figure out how and why it did. Now when they try to do something I just sit back and watch the events unfold. Always ends up the same way, costing more than it should have and taking 3x the time. Gotta love them.
 
Bare with me but I really need to vent. Why ( and yes I could probably answer this myself) is it when you explain to someone what the process is ( paperwork etc...) do they not listen and then come back and blame you because it did not work. Or ( and this is the good one) they will tell you "Juan/Juana" said that you do not need to do that because they did it like this. OMG spent my precious time helping someone do some legal paperwork. Told them exactly where and when it needed to be done. Told them exactly what papers they needed to take with them and what happens I get 50 da*m texts telling me when they went there they could not do the process because the paperwork they had was not the "legal" copy. OMG how times did I tell these people you have to take the originals NOT the fax copy. I know I have lived here a long time and should be used to this but it amazes me everytime. No matter how many times you tell someone or show someone how something should be done its like there is the correct way and then what I call the " Juan/Juana" way. And everytime the "Juan/Juana way wins over the correct way. And then it is my fault. I know why do I bother!!!!!!:tired: Unfortunately this was a member of spouses family can't change my number..lol!!!! Thanks for letting me vent..Have a great day!!!!!
The reason they always do it the Juan/Juana way is because they think they are getting over and cutting corners, All Dominicans like to think they are beating the system. What you need to do is pull them aside and show them the correct way to do it and tell them this is a quicker way around the system and they will follow your directions verbatim because they believe that they are getting over.Dont ask me why but this is my experience in dealing with them for last 25+ years.
 

ExtremeR

Silver
Mar 22, 2006
3,078
320
0
My mother prefers to take advice from my aunts than from me on IT or electronic stuff (Area in which I make my living off). Of course she ends up buying an overpriced POS and then the only thing I have left is to say "I told you so". It irkes me till no tomorrow...
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
376
0
Or my ex-wife who would not only by the overpriced POS but with impressive name brand thing but the overpriced extended warranty that went with it. Why? If it cant last 5 years in its normal lifetime, what good is the extended warranty?