I Think I Need a New Barber.....

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Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
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You like that story. :)
They don't get any better than the Bhagwan. He was the Rolls Royce of guru hustlers...



so to speak :D

Repetitive exposure to his teachings will lead to universal enlightenment... and a better handshake.
 

Auryn

Well-known member
Apr 22, 2012
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You seem like you are in a constant state of paranoia and hyper-analysis. Having lived in a culture much different from the one I grew up in, I've learned that the worst thing you can do is analyse too much. The exception is if you are a trained anthropologist, of course, but even then...well that's another topic. It could be the way you explain things, but I think you should follow the advice of those who tell you to relax.
 

frank12

Gold
Sep 6, 2011
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Dark Scorpian,

Dude, i've got to meet you! Seriously, man. I want to just give you one big bear hug and tell you that i love you, man! Seriously, I got to meet you...you got me very, very intrigued by some of the things you say. Let's have coffee together? I want to hear about your life, hear about where you grew up, what kind of jobs you've had? I want to hear your life story. Are you willing to share anything more about yourself here in this thread...you know...to demonstrate your integrity and honesty? I'm particularly interested about your upbringing and education. I will be happy to go first...to break the ice. Don't worry. I'm not shy. i will break the ice and shatter it into a thousand tiny pieces around your feet. You will instantly know that i am genuine and graphically honest.

Are you willing to share a little bit more about yourself, your education, where you grew up? I can't recall you saying much about yourself other than mentioning something about enjoying computer games. Unfortunately, I know nothing about computer games. I'm an idiot. I've never even played a computer game before. However, as a bartender, i know a little bit about lying, and consider myself an expert in the seven pantomimes in the art of lying. I might be willing to share some of them with you. I wrote the book on them.

Here are some general questions that i would like to know about you, but don't feel compelled to share them here if it will make you uncomfortable. Still, think them over if we ever get the opportunity to meet.

1. Have you ever had a long term relationship (more then 12 months)? If the answer is no, don't worry, it just means you saved a lot of headaches, heartaches, money, and condoms.

2. Have you lost your virginity? If so, at what age? If not, again...don't worry, it just means you've saved a lot of money on fighting crabs, venereal diseases, and other assorted diseases and genital warts. I'm full of them. trust me, they're not worth it.

3. Do you have a higher education? If so, in what field? If not, don't worry, it just means you've saved a whole lot of money on student loans and you haven't sold your soul to the devil and Uncle Sam.

4. Are you circumcised? If no, why not? if yes, ah, forget it, it's not important right now.

5. Do you part your hair? If yes, where? If no, why not? Do you have a fro, do you keep your hair very short? Why a mustache?

6. Do you eat the Beaver? If yes, what do the beaver taste like? And, do you like the taste of the Beaver? If not, consider yourself lucky...the meat can be hard, bitter, and some of the Beaver's bite really hard, and the bites leave some nasty, life-long scars. Very ugly!

7. Are you religious? I believed you said, "no." Ok, if this is true, can you, in one easy comprehensible sentence, describe why not? Doesn't need to be eloquent, just factual.

8. What is your ethnicity? black, brown, white, green, yellow? are you gifted in any areas--dancing, sports, hung like a horse? If not, why not?

9. What brought your here, to the DR? For the Yucca and plantains? Rum and Beer? Women and song? all of the above?

10. Ever served in the military? If yes, where and why? If no, why not?

11. Where do you think we go after we die? Heaven? Hell? Purgatory? the ground?the water shelf?

12. In one sentance, can you describe yourself? Extroverted? Introverted?

13. If you could do it all over again...you know...travel back to the future in a Delorean...would you be the same person? be more assertive? Be less aggressive? Be more aggressive? Be less uptight? Be more uptight? Change your height? hair color? Nails? your Johnson length?

14. How are you able to live in the DR and survive? Are you a computer geek? Inherited money? Running a pyramid scheme? Sold a piece of property? Gotten an insurance payout? Sold your soul to the devil? Living on credit cards? all of the above?

15. Are you homophobic? If yes, why? If no, why not?

16. Are you easily offended? If yes, Why? If no, answer the last 15 questions.

Remember, i like you, and i'm pulling for you, brother! Love Frank
 
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expatsooner

Bronze
Aug 7, 2004
712
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I shook hands with my
dentist; his handshake was firm and his service was good and prices are reasonable. I also shook hands with my landlord
and his service has been good and his handshake was firm as well. The handshake test never lies......a weak handshake =
a weak man.
Since the handshake itself is not normal in many cultures this is not necessarily true - I have known many fine men that would fail your test because of their culture. Don't limit yourself with the use of words like never in a culturally biased test - that is just asking to be made a fool.
 
Dec 26, 2011
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Since the handshake itself is not normal in many cultures this is not necessarily true - I have known many fine men that would fail your test because of their culture. Don't limit yourself with the use of words like never in a culturally biased test - that is just asking to be made a fool.
Dark Scorpion, expert on Asian culture, must surely know that.
 
May 12, 2005
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Maybe the OP is a spy. He seems very secretive. I guess if he tells us what books he is reading his cover will be blown. Again, earlier in this thread I offered a recommendation for a top quality barbershop that won't overcharge but that seems to have been ignored. Maybe if he asks for the name of that place everyone on DR1 will figure out where the Bat Cave is.
 

Aguaita29

Silver
Jul 27, 2011
2,411
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I went to the local barber yesterday to get my hair cut(and my mustache trimmed), and though the barber did a good job, I'm thinking of switching because I suspect he overcharges and he made several mistakes in dealing with me. When greeting him near his place of business he shook my hand and his grip was totally weak, I mean his handshake was a joke. A man with a weak handshake is a weak man that can't be trusted, and I have little respect for men who have soft handshakes.

The second mistake he made was in telling me that he is my "friend." This is only my second time using this guy's service and I don't even think he knows my first name. How on Earth can you call yourself someone's friend when you don't even know him? I'm also suspicious of people who emphasize friendship through words; if you're truly a friend you don't have to say it, you will show it. What do you guys pay for a haircut down in the DR? Letting me know the rates you pay will let me know whether I'm being overcharged, which I suspect that I am.
I can't believe he charged you $800; That's really high, even within overpricing rates. A good barber, in a regular Dominican place, will usually charge $150-$200, and he's still might be waiting for you to bargain.

As for him calling you friend, don't over think it! The use of "amigo" here is like the use of "my love".
Some foreign women get upset (and others get overly excited) when a Dominican guy they've just met calls them "mi amor"; What they don't know is that when two women who hate each other are arguing, they often call each other that: "Mira, mi amor.....", then they tell each other a couple of "truths" which then usuaully develops into hair pulling and a fight. Some people use "friend" in the same way they use "pal" or "dude" but that might be pretty much it.
 
Dec 26, 2011
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I can't believe he charged you $800; That's really high, even within overpricing rates. A good barber, in a regular Dominican place, will usually charge $150-$200, and he's still might be waiting for you to bargain.
But you've never seen this head of hair. It's special.
 

william webster

Platinum
Jan 16, 2009
24,534
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Sperry shoes, laCoste shirt w/ the collar up and pressed shorts.........

Should have charged you 1,000 pesos
 
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