Indigenous infirmities

[mkohn]

Monga: Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of indigenous origin.

Patat?: Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.

Sereno: Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the indigenous elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of contamination is certain.

Empache: Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large indigenous meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una buena criolla" better known as "cagar" or "tirarse un buen peo". (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective)

Coltao: Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology. Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining.

Mo?o Parao: Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.

Cocotazo: Also referred to as the "Fu?cata". A clenched /closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a child's head with a quick snap to the wrist (my grandfather's, GOD rest his soul, favorite).

Chich?n: Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patat?. Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a cocotazo.

 

[Chirimoya]

great list, MK

What about the effect of opening a fridge after ironing? There is a word for it, I believe!

 

[stewart]

What about the effect of opening a fridge after ironing? There is a word for it, I believe!

I believe it is called "epamaise". Or something like that.
And the other known cure for "empache" is to have an indigenous expert hallar los cueros. A treatment involving the tuggiing of excess skin on the stomach in just the right place to relieve the empache.

 

[Stodgord]

I believe it is called "epamaise". Or something like that.
And the other known cure for "empache" is to have an indigenous expert hallar los cueros. A treatment involving the tuggiing of excess skin on the stomach in just the right place to relieve the empache.

Pasmarse: According to Dominicans , it occurs when your body is becomes warm by the sun, running, ironing and even waking up and stepping on the cold floor barefooted. The result is the twitching of the facial muscles, especially the mouth area. People are said to have died of this as well.

When I went to DR last January, my mother in-law insisted on taking my two year old to have her 'emparche' relieved. She also had my one 8 months old 'santiguado'.

 

[Dragonfly32837]

Monga: Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of indigenous origin.

Patat?: Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.

Sereno: Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the indigenous elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of contamination is certain.

Empache: Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large indigenous meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una buena criolla" better known as "cagar" or "tirarse un buen peo". (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective)

Coltao: Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology. Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining.

Mo?o Parao: Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.

Cocotazo: Also referred to as the "Fu?cata". A clenched /closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a child's head with a quick snap to the wrist (my grandfather's, GOD rest his soul, favorite).

Chich?n: Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patat?. Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a cocotazo.

So the sereno is why they don't let the babies go out at night without covering their heads. I always heard about sereno but I thought it was just a little bit of rain at night.

I have heard patatu for ever as well. Ay dios mio, antes que me de un patatu.

Cocotazos are my mother's favorite. I got a few. No chichones as a result of the cocotazos though.

y cuando uno se pasma tambien. I don't know if this is true but I am sometimes afraid when I open the freezer and I have been cooking. It's one of those things where I don't know if it is true because I have never seen it but I take care just in case.