The verb 'joder' is used a little too loosely in the DR.
Ex: jodon is often used in reference to a child. Loosely translated, they are calling them a "phucker". This is also often used in the dimunitive form, "jodoncito".
No me jodes is also often said to a child, and it is taken to mean "don't bother me", or better said in Spanish, "no me molestes".
When my son Angelo first came to Canada and we enrolled him in a Spanish/English bilingual school, I often received phonecalls from a distressed teacher, who was originally from Spain. "Sra Burgos, por favor, tell your child NOT to say "no me jodes" in school. This is a terrible phrase." The next week, I'd receive another call, "Sra Burgos, por favor, talk to your child. He keeps saying "vaina"." Another day I'd receive another call, "Sra Burgos, por favor, tell Angelo he can't say 'co?o' in school!!!" They were quite interesting times. Guess it should've told me a little about his father's character and who he'd been raised by.
I have rather limited exposure to Spanish, but I do have some Spanish-speaking friends and at times, we discuss phrases and which words mean different things in their respective countries. I am told that "joder" isn't used in Mexico, but as referenced above, it is used in Spain, and is considered very vulgar. "Vaina" is used by Mexicans to refer to the 'vagina', and in some other countries, it is a type of bean. I was told by the Spanish teacher that her colleague from Argentina said that it meant 'crap'.
This is a classic example of understanding grammar and there would be no confusion. I saw this thread last night and was wondering if anyone would comment on the noun vs. adjective difference.
Used as a noun "una jodida" it has a regional meaning as clarified by the 2LeftFeet in her post# 2 BUT as an adjective jodido/jodida that's where the Dominican or more common regional usage in other countries comes into play.
You mean to say "no me jodas" because it's a mandato (command). Yes, joder is considered vulgar or in grammatcial terms "soez".
Lest anyone think that the word joder and it's variations are not used in PR (Puerto Rico) let me say that it is indeed used, and used heavily; it is not a word used at church or in polite company. I suspect that that your friend from PR either was not very familiar with Puerto Rican spanish or was just trying to protect you from vulgarity.