Living together - the social mores

[Vawner]

Hello all,
I have a question for those of you more intimately familiar with the social mores here... I think I have finally met the woman I've been hoping to find for a long time (yes, I know, you've heard that before), but no, I am not a complete DR neophyte - I have visited the country several times... Okay, so I am a semi-neophyte, but I like to think I have a bit more common sense than those who fall in love during their first visit here...
My question is this - what are the attitudes of senoritas from nice families with regard to living together? Am I going to insult her by suggesting it? I am working out a part-time residency arrangement here (with the notable assistance of the DR1 forum), including renting an apartment, with the expectation of a more full-time residency to follow.
We're talking a very decent mujer here (e.g., chaperoned dates in the beginning), so I may have already answered my own question, but I would like to tap the wisdom of the DR1 sages... Thanks to all.

 

[Rocky]

Hello all,
I have a question for those of you more intimately familiar with the social mores here... I think I have finally met the woman I've been hoping to find for a long time (yes, I know, you've heard that before), but no, I am not a complete DR neophyte - I have visited the country several times... Okay, so I am a semi-neophyte, but I like to think I have a bit more common sense than those who fall in love during their first visit here...
My question is this - what are the attitudes of senoritas from nice families with regard to living together? Am I going to insult her by suggesting it? I am working out a part-time residency arrangement here (with the notable assistance of the DR1 forum), including renting an apartment, with the expectation of a more full-time residency to follow.
We're talking a very decent mujer here (e.g., chaperoned dates in the beginning), so I may have already answered my own question, but I would like to tap the wisdom of the DR1 sages... Thanks to all.

There's no set answer, as there are so many variables.
We could make suggestions, while you filter through them and choose those that best suit you.
(Bear in mind that a girlfriend living with you can get the same rights to your money and possessions as a woman you marry)
For instance, you could go at it slowly and let her spend more and more time at your house, until you see how it's working out.
Then you can decide if you want to make it more permanent.

 

[Vawner]

Thanks Rocky,
Are you saying that community property rights exist in the DR, similar (for example) to some states in the US? This does not unduly concern me at this point (perhaps I am being naive), but it is a good point to consider. Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[Victor Laszlo]

Say What??!!

(Bear in mind that a girlfriend living with you can get the same rights to your money and possessions as a woman you marry)

Could you elaborate, please? Are we talking "palimony" in the DR?

 

[Rocky]

Thanks Rocky,
Are you saying that community property rights exist in the DR, similar (for example) to some states in the US? This does not unduly concern me at this point (perhaps I am being naive), but it is a good point to consider. Thanks for your thoughts!

Yessir.
Think prenupt.
Consult a good lawyer for specifics.
You don't want to make a mistake on a certain detail that lands up costing you everything you own.
I do know of certain gringos who have lost fortunes to their live in girlfriends after breaking up with them.

 

[Rocky]

Could you elaborate, please? Are we talking "palimony" in the DR?

I know that it happens, but I would prefer that you get your specifics from a good lawyer.
Guido Perdomo can answer all those questions, if you're in this area (Sosua).
This is way too important an issue, to accept my interpretation and beliefs of the "palimony" laws.

 

[Victor Laszlo]

Yessir.
Think prenupt.
Consult a good lawyer for specifics.
You don't want to make a mistake on a certain detail that lands up costing you everything you own.
I do know of certain gringos who have lost fortunes to their live in girlfriends after breaking up with them.

Any tips on explaining a prenup to your Dominicana SO? "It benefits both of us" is kind of hard to sell when she's a dirt-poor campesina and you're a fat-cat Gringo.

 

[DAKRA]

Tip

Don't Move-in Together!

Wait until the timing is right. If you are truly the fat-cat, then you have the most ($$$) to loose. Wait till everything is going in the good direction for both of you and then talk to her.

:cheeky:

 

[Rocky]

Any tips on explaining a prenup to your Dominicana SO? "It benefits both of us" is kind of hard to sell when she's a dirt-poor campesina and you're a fat-cat Gringo.

Take her to Harrison's Jewelery store, have her fall in love with an expensive piece of jewelery and promise to buy it for her if she signs the prenupt.
That's all that comes to mind at this point, while I'm still on my first cup of wake up Java. If you don't like that one, I think I could come up with other ideas, once my IQ has risen into the 3 digit class.

 

[Rocky]

Don't Move-in Together!

Wait until the timing is right. If you are truly the fat-cat, then you have the most ($$$) to loose. Wait till everything is going in the good direction for both of you and then talk to her.

:cheeky:

And open an offshore corporation, unbeknownst to her or anybody but your lawyer.
Always refer to your house as "my uncle's" house, or something similar.

 

[SKY]

A good pre-nup is this country is like iron. She can't get a dime here with one in hand.

If you don't believe me, just ask the owner of Plaza Bologna.

 

[Rocky]

A good pre-nup is this country is like iron. She can't get a dime here with one in hand.

If you don't believe me, just ask the owner of Plaza Bologna.

And if you go to the oppostie corner of that restaurant on the same block, and look at the huge property and building/restaurant there, you can ask the chica who owns it about how she took it all away from her American boyfriend, who dit NOT have a prenupt.

 

[dv8]

no chance a decent girl get to live in with a boyfriend before they get married. easy for a man to do so but a girl is perceived as a virgin and she cannot even live with her fiance.

are you guys saying i now have the right to half of what minovio owns since we have lived together for more than a year? hmmm....

i agree that prenup is a must, you never know what may happen...

 

[Rocky]

no chance a decent girl get to live in with a boyfriend before they get married. easy for a man to do so but a girl is perceived as a virgin and she cannot even live with her fiance.
...

I lived with a decent Dominican woman for four years without being officially married.
Comes from a good family, honest as the day is long, and to this day, my best Dominican friend.
Perhaps what you say is a good generalization, but there are many exceptions.

 

[AnnaC]

Here's what Mr Guzman has written about common law

It's an old thread but I can't find anything new on the subject so I assume
things haven't changed.

 

[Ricardo900]

Hello all,
We're talking a very decent mujer here (e.g., chaperoned dates in the beginning), so I may have already answered my own question, but I would like to tap the wisdom of the DR1 sages... Thanks to all.

No conservative family in the World wants or voluntarily allows their daughter/princess to shack-up with a man. They want their daughters respected and married-off properly. Since you mentioned chaperoned dates in the beginning, its possible they will not agree with the living situations. But each family is different so you have to fill it out. Have you taken her on any weekend vacation trips?

 

[miguel]

Cojelo con calma.....

All I have to say to the OP (for now) is:

What's your hurry?.


Ohhhh, and:

No prominent Dominican family would allow their daughter to "play house" with a man, any man!. Maybe there are cases, none that I know of.

 

[Charlielyn]

Make sure that all documents are in Spanish that she signs too. A friend of mine in Santo Domingo lost his business when his Dominican wife decided to end the marriage. He had to start all over to build a new business. It devistated him.

 

[Talldrink]

Like others have said, if she is a se?orita in her community's eyes it wont be OK to just live together w/o marryiage. If she is willing to move in with you the day you ask her to, and if everybody is ok with you 'taking' her - watch out - theres a reason for it.

I ask you also: whats the rush?

 

[Vawner]

Thanks for the thoughts. There is no rush - I'm just one of those who likes to look ahead and think about what to expect for the future.

For a while at least, I will have to maintain a dual existence - part time here and part time in the states with my work - until I can arrange the necessary changes to my work.

You've confirmed my suspicion that living together is probably not an option unless/until we are married, if that should be in our future...

Thanks all.