(long) story - need insight please!

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Suzie

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Jan 12, 2006
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Okay, I've read through most of this forum -it's very addictive - and I've debated posting my story, but I figure that you guys offer such diversified advice that it can only help me.

I don't think that my story is a Sankie story (yeah, I know, here we go again) but I can't be too sure, so here it is -

A few weeks ago, I was in POP with a friend on a vacation just to relax and unwind, not looking to hook up. I was fully educated by this sankie forum ( I prepared before hand). I had a great time, and resort workers were all fabulous, not a problem at all.

On day 6 of my 8 day trip, I took a renowned excursion. I caught the eyes of one of the tour guides and as the day wore on, he'd came over and we'd chat for a bit. By the end of the day, he said that he wanted us to keep in touch, and so he gave me his email address. I took it, we smiled, end of tour.

He called my room at the resort (got the number from the tour listing). He said that he just wanted to wish me a good flight back home, and to remind me to keep in touch. I said I was going to be at a certain club for my last night, if he was going to be in the area perhaps we could meet up again.

My friend and I and another couple of tourist guys from the resort went to the club together to save on exorbitant taxi costs. My tour guide was there by himself, nursing his presidente. I went up to greet him, he bought my friend and I a couple of drinks, and I went to dance. By this time, he was sitting at the bar, nursing his Red Bull and alternately watching me. I pulled him out to dance a few times, and he did, but he kept a respectable distance away from me at all times. An hour later, we all called it a night. Tour Guide shook hands with all of us, wished us well, and told me to keep in touch. I reached out for a hug, because it seemed more appropriate to me.

On the plane ride back home - I figured this was a fling that never was. Not even a kiss - but the lack of activity just fuelled the fantasy.

I emailed him when I got back to say Hi. Since then, emails have been exchanged daily. He's quite sweet, and I'm too cynical to be a true romantic, but what woman doesn't like to have a daily ego boost? His words are never over the top, and there are never assumptions. He just says things like he feels like I'm a "gift from God" and that he thinks about me all day long. I have to admit that he was on my mind an awful lot. I would go on dates and be wondering about what my tour guide would think of certain things. I know, not fair to my dates.

Well, we'd been emailing daily for just under 2 weeks when he suddenly says he wants to see me again, has to get to know me better, and he will pay for half of my trip. I tell him it's a crazy impulsive idea. He says that he thought about it and even his mom is happy about his decision. I tell him it'll be high season and it'll be really expensive. When he persists, I decide to call his bluff. Knowing what the chances of identity theft and other banking scams are, and trusting him enough not to be like that, I give him my banking information, thinking that it should reveal his true colours.

A few days later, to my astonishment, I have $1000 deposited into my account. I really don't know how much he makes, but as a working class POP boy who was raised in the country, it couldn't have been easy to part with that much money.

I have since booked my trip as I was encouraged by a friend (male, if it makes any difference) that I should stop overanalyzing, book it before the prices go up, and have fun. That raises a whole new set of concerns about travelling alone, but I'll deal with that later.

Background information, just so the details are clear: He's 23 and I'm 25 (and yes, I'm from Canada).

My concerns are the following:
1) Obviously I have moral issues with using this guys money - but he insisted that it's 100% his idea so I should feel no ways about it
2) I know that "not all resort workers are sankies"...but I never hear about tour guides. They are also frequently in contact with tourists every day...can someone enlighten me on this particular group of men?
3) I've covered all possible ulterior motives, but my ever protective older brother is worried that I may be roped into a slavery/prostition ring. For his sake, I must ask, what are the chances of this in DR?
4) Is my story a common one?
5) What am I overlooking?

Whew. Thanks for reading all of this. Does anyone have any insight for me?
 

RHM

Doctor of Diplomacy
Sep 23, 2002
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#1) The slavery-prostitution worry is non-sense. He wants a Visa and/or money.

#2) He is a Sankie. He just may not be a very good one because most would never send money up front. Unless, of course, he is an advanced "Jedi" Sankie and is trying to calm your nerves.

#3) See #2 again. He is a Sankie.

Scandall
 

sunnylivin

New member
Jan 4, 2006
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At all costs protect yourself and your credit. Very generous donation to your acct. However secure your accounts protect your assets change any and all access.
Credit reports in the USA can take an extremely long time to correct.
Enjoy your vacation. Be smart leave all information with family and have plan B ready to use if needed.
Life is short have fun and adventure while being alert aware of your safety at all times. DO NOT DRINK EXCESSIVELY
Do you have a friend that can join you?
It would b
 

stormer

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Apr 27, 2004
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I'm sorry Suzie, you say you gave your account info, are you nuts? He may have deposited money, but can he not now withdrawl or something like that, please correct me if I'm wrong.
 

Potato_Salad

On Vacation!
Oct 13, 2005
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stormer said:
I'm sorry Suzie, you say you gave your account info, are you nuts? He may have deposited money, but can he not now withdrawl or something like that, please correct me if I'm wrong.
I agree with stormer. It was not a good idea for Suzie to give this tour guide her banking information.

I do not think he can withdrawal money from Suzie's account. But giving personal information is dangerous.

Suzie, if I were you, I would just date the guys in your home country.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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Another one!

Suzie said:
Okay, I've read through most of this forum -it's very addictive - and I've debated posting my story, but I figure that you guys offer such diversified advice that it can only help me.

I don't think that my story is a Sankie story (yeah, I know, here we go again) but I can't be too sure, so here it is -

A few weeks ago, I was in POP with a friend on a vacation just to relax and unwind, not looking to hook up. I was fully educated by this sankie forum ( I prepared before hand). I had a great time, and resort workers were all fabulous, not a problem at all.

On day 6 of my 8 day trip, I took a renowned excursion. I caught the eyes of one of the tour guides and as the day wore on, he'd came over and we'd chat for a bit. By the end of the day, he said that he wanted us to keep in touch, and so he gave me his email address. I took it, we smiled, end of tour.

He called my room at the resort (got the number from the tour listing). He said that he just wanted to wish me a good flight back home, and to remind me to keep in touch. I said I was going to be at a certain club for my last night, if he was going to be in the area perhaps we could meet up again.

My friend and I and another couple of tourist guys from the resort went to the club together to save on exorbitant taxi costs. My tour guide was there by himself, nursing his presidente. I went up to greet him, he bought my friend and I a couple of drinks, and I went to dance. By this time, he was sitting at the bar, nursing his Red Bull and alternately watching me. I pulled him out to dance a few times, and he did, but he kept a respectable distance away from me at all times. An hour later, we all called it a night. Tour Guide shook hands with all of us, wished us well, and told me to keep in touch. I reached out for a hug, because it seemed more appropriate to me.

On the plane ride back home - I figured this was a fling that never was. Not even a kiss - but the lack of activity just fuelled the fantasy.

I emailed him when I got back to say Hi. Since then, emails have been exchanged daily. He's quite sweet, and I'm too cynical to be a true romantic, but what woman doesn't like to have a daily ego boost? His words are never over the top, and there are never assumptions. He just says things like he feels like I'm a "gift from God" and that he thinks about me all day long. I have to admit that he was on my mind an awful lot. I would go on dates and be wondering about what my tour guide would think of certain things. I know, not fair to my dates.

Well, we'd been emailing daily for just under 2 weeks when he suddenly says he wants to see me again, has to get to know me better, and he will pay for half of my trip. I tell him it's a crazy impulsive idea. He says that he thought about it and even his mom is happy about his decision. I tell him it'll be high season and it'll be really expensive. When he persists, I decide to call his bluff. Knowing what the chances of identity theft and other banking scams are, and trusting him enough not to be like that, I give him my banking information, thinking that it should reveal his true colours.

A few days later, to my astonishment, I have $1000 deposited into my account. I really don't know how much he makes, but as a working class POP boy who was raised in the country, it couldn't have been easy to part with that much money.

I have since booked my trip as I was encouraged by a friend (male, if it makes any difference) that I should stop overanalyzing, book it before the prices go up, and have fun. That raises a whole new set of concerns about travelling alone, but I'll deal with that later.

Background information, just so the details are clear: He's 23 and I'm 25 (and yes, I'm from Canada).

My concerns are the following:
1) Obviously I have moral issues with using this guys money - but he insisted that it's 100% his idea so I should feel no ways about it
2) I know that "not all resort workers are sankies"...but I never hear about tour guides. They are also frequently in contact with tourists every day...can someone enlighten me on this particular group of men?
3) I've covered all possible ulterior motives, but my ever protective older brother is worried that I may be roped into a slavery/prostition ring. For his sake, I must ask, what are the chances of this in DR?
4) Is my story a common one?
5) What am I overlooking?

Whew. Thanks for reading all of this. Does anyone have any insight for me?
Why don't you ask yourself some of these questions:

1- Do I usually go "gaga" over a guy so quickly in Canada?

2- Am I that easy that a stranger can just offer me some money to go visit him and I am considering it?

3- What makes me so special that all of a sudden "God" sent me to him as a gift?

4- Does he do the same with other tourists, why am I the "lucky" one?

5- Do I know enough about him for me to know for a fact that he is not a sick bastard?

6- Why am I so lucky that he had NOBODY (wife or g/f) when I came along?

7- Am I so naive not to think that this guy was just "planting a seed" the moment I allowed him to talk to me?

8- Am I so "smart" not to know that all he was doing was studying me at the club and I closed the deal when I asked him to dance a few times?

9- How do I know if he is expecting something back in return after paying my ticket?

10- Did I listened to my parents when they told me NOT to "get in a car with strangers".

11- Wasn't the old prophet, Miguel, who once said that "MOST men would do ANYTHYNG in order to "get" what they want, even if it means doing push-ups with their Johnsons"?.

12- Haven't I done my homework here on DR1 because if I did, I would know that SOME people would do anything, even pay for plane tickets, in order to take control of me and my heart?

13- Don't I know that even if he pays my ticket and spend some money on me, that his "rewards" would be much greater.

14- What will happen to me if after I am there, this guy become an axx hole and makes my life miserable and abuse me, didn't I read on one forum here that MANY tourists have been beaten and even killed by guys that they had met on a previous visit?

The list can go on forever but last but not least:

15- Wake up dummass, I know NOTHING about this guy and I am sure that he does the same to MANY tourists!!. Now it's my time to make him pay for all the money that he may had take from other suckers, therefore I will keep his 1,000 in the name of the "sisterhood". Adios sucker, hahahahaha.

DO NOT go to the DR by yourself and DO NOT let him pay for your ticket unless you are prepared to put up with everything he throws your way, including what he is looking for: "sex" and a way out. If you HAVE to go, go with friends or family members.

I gotta tell you that since we know that sankies are found in any type of jobs, he does have some sankie tendencies.

But, I must say, you let the "door open" for him. Starting with taking his email address to inviting him to go the club to making him dance with you to emailing him right away.

Since you gave him your personal information, I am sure that right about now, he is singing: "another one bites the dust....".

Listen to your brother and tell him that a prostitution ring would be a "slap on the wrist" compared to what can come your way.

Again, I am amazed how easy SOME of us(men) can "buy" SOME girls, my, oh my!. Before, courting was enough. Now, a few emails, a few phone call, a few "I miss you" would do just fine!!.
 
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Hipocrito Mejia

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Close out your bank account and change your email address, then take the thousand, have a nice weekend with some friends in Canada, and feel no guilt!
 

AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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I'm NOT saying this might be a sock puppet but considering all that's been posted lately about poor Dominicans and that sankies only take and not give and that sankies should contribute to a relationship I'm wondering if someone is testing the group here to see if everyone would also be against someone that gives money. ;)

Unless there's a new scam going on I don't buy that someone would deposit $1,000.00 ( was that American, Canadian or Dominican currency) without even having had a kiss.

Give me a break
 

stormer

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Apr 27, 2004
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Anna Coniglio said:
I'm NOT saying this might be a sock puppet but considering all that's been posted lately about poor Dominicans and that sankies only take and not give and that sankies should contribute to a relationship I'm wondering if someone is testing the group here to see if everyone would also be against someone that gives money. ;)

Unless there's a new scam going on I don't buy that someone would deposit $1,000.00 ( was that American, Canadian or Dominican currency) without even having had a kiss.

Give me a break
I agree Anna, this smells like bulls*** to me. :eek:
 

**princess

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Oct 31, 2005
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how does he have $1000?

Ok, I no how you feel, i too have been in your situation,
think about these things carefully...

1. Would you give him $1000 to come and visit you?
2. In canada would you accept a holiday from a bloke you met in a club? You'd think he was a weirdo..

I know that I conciously ignored any sense of common sense when I went to visit my man, but I was lucky that he only f*cked with my heart and nothing else.

All I can say lovely is be DARN careful, I would hate to see you get hurt. Maybe he is a dimond, but if you were sure you wouldnt consult a public forum.
Goodluck lovely

xxx **princess
 

johne

Well-known member
Jun 28, 2003
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I think

that most people are replying in the obvious manner and that the O.P. is part of a scam. Think about it- as we all know the guy doesnt have the money-she cant be stupid enough to give out her personal ID--so whats left?
I would bet if this whole thing would play out we would uncover a scam in play with the original poster involved, and "she" could be male or female.

Im sorry for the accusations to OP in advance if Im wrong, but Im just a suspious New Yorker that doesnt buy the concept that you could be THIS dumb.


JOHN
keepingmymoneyinmypockettoday!
 

La La Land

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Dec 19, 2005
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WAKE UP GIRL, Your bank info could now be costing you your credit, your hard earned money etc etc...MEN KNOW WHEN A WOMAN IS WEAK FOR THEM...This guy is not knew to dreaming Foriegn women I am sure..
I sure hope the poor girl does not end up with a broken heart or her WALLET empty just because they danced......WHY GIVE A TOTAL STRANGER YOUR BANK INFO??? Can she be that desperate for a Dominican man? Why not call his place of employment and inquire about him..Maybe some honest person will give you the low down on him if he does this alot etc...:) PAM
 

Conchman

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Jul 3, 2002
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Well if this a real post, he borrowed the $1,000 and when she arrives in the DR, there will be a 'sick relative' or a brother in jail who needs right around $1,000.

I dont know, but this just smells like a rat.
 

Suzie

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Jan 12, 2006
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I originally posted in this forum because I was fairly comfortable with my decision to book this trip, but I wanted to be as fully prepared for any scenario. Having read through this forum, I fully expected a full range of negative reactions - and man, you guys are on fire!!

Thank you all for your comments, it's enlightening and depressing at the same time, but in response, I'd like to clear a few things up:

1) I'm not a sock puppet. I realize that the longtime members of this site have a no tolerance take on anyone with any sankie potential, but I would not waste time to detail a fake story just to test you guys. The money really came in, and it was $1000 in Cdn Dollars. If it weren't for the money, this guy would not be an issue for discussion.

2) The account I gave him was an account that I had opened as a student and rarely used. There has been little activity in this account for the past 3 or 4 years. While there will always be repercussions to giving out personal information, as a former employee in the financial sector, I can tell you my risk is minimal - he can only deposit, he can't even withdraw the money he just put in, plus, if he chose to have a female aid pretend to be me with this account information, they are required to have further identification.

3) I have no illusions of love. I said he was on my mind, I didn't say I was falling in love with him and want to have his babies. I can't guarantee that I won't, but let's just say that I have no expecatations of this (relationship). My depression about my enlightenment is more due to the fact that I feel really stupid and naive for having overlooked anything though I spent a few hours reading this forum.

I thought I was being cautious and cynical, but it's nothing compared to the cynicism of the members of this board. I still like to believe that people are are the same no matter where they live - so why be so hard on this guy, simply because he's a dominican tour guide? Every man has an ulterior motive with a woman, why is everyone so positive that his is a such a bad one?

I know, Visa, and money. One of my main questions for this post was, is this situation common? Since some of you don't believe me, it must be very uncommon for a sankie to send this amount of money to a foreigner. Therefore, why wouldn't the conclusion be that he's not really a sankie?

I don't know where he got the money from - is it possible that he saved it? Or that he makes more than I think? He's not a resort worker after all, and I imagine that tour guides get much more tips than resort workers ever will. There is the possibly he got it from another woman, but that's not my issue.

Because I've been called a "dumbass", I feel compelled to respond to some questions --

How I went "gaga" over this tour guide is exactly how I would feel about any other guy if the situation were the same (if he lived in New York it would be the same situation, to me). And I'm not gaga over him - I'm just overwhelmed.

I didn't say I believed him when he said I was a gift from God. If that's how he wants to word it, than fine - it sounds nice anyway. Don't guys EVERYWHERE use these BS lines in the wooing stage?

He sent me money, and yes, I am going. How does that make me easy? I didn't promise him sex, unless you are suggesting that he is a rapist in the making. I debated the fact that he "bought" me my time makes it a form of prostitution, but I threw that argument out because I'd rather call it a form of "opportunism". Of course he expects something back - that's just common sense. What he's going to get is my part time company. Is that naive of me?

I don't know if he's a sick bastard, but I guess I will find out. My safety is not as big of an issue to me because unless gun violence is a huge issue in DR, my martial arts training should take him down. I know that I've read a lot of comments on his job performance on his work website and so far it's all very positive.

When you say he planted a seed, what seed is that? What door did I open? I am having a bit of trouble with these question because you make him sound so calculatingly evil...guys in North America do the exact same thing - check out a girl, give out their number...is he any different?

Miguel, at the end of your response (which is honestly appreciated) you say that you can't beleive how easy it is to "buy" these dumb girls because you don't have to court them anymore. When you wine and dine a woman, you spend money for their time, to get to know them. At some point, if everything goes well, you might get the goods. Isn't that exactly what my situation is?

From this board I always gathered that a sankie is a sankie because he cons women out of money and other things - I read that dominican guys are old school and if they're a good man, they should always want to pay. So here is a guy that pays...and he's still a sankie...but more than that, he's a Jedi Sankie. I don't get it.

Okay, and say that he does want the money back when I get there because his mother is near death. Aren't I in control? He can guilt trip me, but if I don't have it, than I don't have it.

I wonder how badly I'm going to get slammed for being naive...but please, bring it on.
 

Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
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Suzie: I also find it very hard to believe that he deposited $1000 CDN into your bank account for you to take a trip down there, but I'm not so worried about you giving him the account info...there is very little he can do with that other than deposit money, unless you gave him your SS# (I don't know if that exists in Canada) or a Driver's License # or something like that...

About him giving you the money to make the trip though...How much does a r/t ticket cost from Canada to DR???? I know if I got $1000 USD from Tony, it would pay for a whole week's vacation for both of us aside from my ticket! ;)

Let me tell you a story I heard from my fiance on my latest trip, and maybe that would give you some insight into this situation...

His godfather has 2 sons...one of them works at Playa Dorada (don't know which hotel)...He has a daughter by a Dominican girl he never married, plus a Canadian g/f and an English g/f...Apparently this English girl is loaded, has moved to POP to be with him, and is supporting him with her family's blessings...This guy's father is SOOO damn proud of him, because he says that this way he will be able to leave the country and go live either in Canada with g/f #1 or in England with g/f #2...and make a better life for himself and his daughter...Could you believe it??? This shocked me when I heard it, but apparently this is like a 'status' thing to them...

My point is, that he might have 'borrowed' the money from someone like another poster suggested...and no, maybe he won't ask for it back...maybe he DOES like you better, and wants to get to know you...

You'll never know unless you make the trip and spend some time with him....Who knows? Maybe you won't like him that much after something happens between you two...(Although I highly doubt it!) ;)

Just be careful when you make the trip...remember you are in a foreign land...try to stay close to your AI (if that's where you're going) and leave all your info with someone close to you...

I wonder though...What DID you do to this guy??? I think you're the first post I read where a GIRL gets to have a GUY send HER money, instead of the other way around??? Are you a sankiette and we don't know it??? ;)

Enjoy yourself but be careful!

MQ
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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You never even gave this guy a kiss and he sent you $1000 to go see him? Either you are lying or you are being set up. I think it is the former because I just do not see this guy sending you $1000. Why would he?

If he really did send it then he must think you are worth the risk of sending that much. By "worth the risk" I dont mean that YOU are worth the risk, I mean the potential to scam you out of much more money makes you worth the risk.

Someone suggested just keeping the money and having some fun. Normally, I would never agree with that but since there is no sincerity behind him sending it, I think that in this case it is not a bad idea.

Larry
 

rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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Suzie, a very well written, well thought out post. You made some good points.

My main comment is that if you go on this trip, there is no turning back. You may not fall in love on this trip, but you will be progressing towards marriage. You said, "every man has an ulterior motive with a woman"; his motive is to get to Canada.

You need to think of if he will fit in your world. Will he fit in with you family and friends? Will he be happy with you being the main breadwinner in the family? Also, you need to realize that it may take a year before you are able to get him to Canada. Can you deal with him being in the DR, in the tourist environment, while you are in Canada.

Before you go, you need to do some forward thinking. If it doesn't make sense, then don't go. You can always go at a later date. If it is meant to be he will still be available. If not....
 

Suzie

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Jan 12, 2006
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Musicqueen:
The return trip to Canada to DR at the AI turned out to be $1300, because of the single supplment, so I invested a bit of my own money as well.

Larry:
I wouldn't be posting if this was a lie, there would be no purpose to it. I'm posting so that I can have help making sense of this.

I had a fleeting thought to keep the money but it's a question of honour. I indulged him in allowing to send it, and since he held up his end of the bargain, the only choices I had were to hold up my end, or return it all to him and cut him off.
 

AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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Did you say he has a website of where he works? Post it maybe someone knows him ;)
 
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