Making it work

[Eleutheria]

you do have a point. i have to agree with you there.

however, as i posted earlier, there was a time when i was still young, and could attract the ladies. i always found that there was a vibe i got with women from other nationalites that i could not find here. there was no spark, just strictly mechanics. then again, maybe they knew that i was here for two weeks, and did not bother to expend any emotional capital on me.

Maybe you are overthinking it? Sometimes people "click" with certain cultures more than others.
Maybe you need more intellectual stimulation? Hard to find here, IMO.
Don't waste your precious time wondering why you can't find love with a Dominican woman. This is a hard place to find sincere people, friendships, relationships. Even those "happy" Dominican couples you see on the malecon probably have their typical Dominican issues once you scratch the surface; cheating, lying, greed...
Are you sure you want into this club?
I know a lot of foreign men in relationships with Dominican women. Most are just buying the time of these women. Only one older gentleman seems to have a real, nice relationship. She is not young, and very well-educated. They seem pretty happy but the rest are just engaging in an economic exchange.

 

[the gorgon]

Maybe you are overthinking it? Sometimes people "click" with certain cultures more than others.
Maybe you need more intellectual stimulation? Hard to find here, IMO.
Don't waste your precious time wondering why you can't find love with a Dominican woman. This is a hard place to find sincere people, friendships, relationships. Even those "happy" Dominican couples you see on the malecon probably have their typical Dominican issues once you scratch the surface; cheating, lying, greed...
Are you sure you want into this club?
I know a lot of foreign men in relationships with Dominican women. Most are just buying the time of these women. Only one older gentleman seems to have a real, nice relationship. She is not young, and very well-educated. They seem pretty happy but the rest are just engaging in an economic exchange.

i am not thinking along the lines of anything as esoteric as LOVE. and i am aware of the culture clash thing. i am sure that the Orientals stick to themselves so much because they realize the importance of culture. however, i have been able to mesh with most of the other nationalities which i have encountered, in terms of a male female nexus. also, i have managed to deal with Dominican guys on a sincere basis. it is just the women that i cannot seem to get any grounding with. i have always said that if a woman cannot make me laugh, i do not need her. i have known many DR women, but i have never encountered any that had inspired something as spontaneous as laughter, and maybe that is why we do not mesh.

 

[Commander Ooh La La USN]

i am not thinking along the lines of anything as esoteric as LOVE. and i am aware of the culture clash thing. i am sure that the Orientals stick to themselves so much because they realize the importance of culture. however, i have been able to mesh with most of the other nationalities which i have encountered, in terms of a male female nexus. also, i have managed to deal with Dominican guys on a sincere basis. it is just the women that i cannot seem to get any grounding with. i have always said that if a woman cannot make me laugh, i do not need her. i have known many DR women, but i have never encountered any that had inspired something as spontaneous as laughter, and maybe that is why we do not mesh.

If I can guess it can be with a few Dominican women that you are experiencing "the quiet rush", "the impatient urgency", "the hasty scramble". The impending desire for you to improve her lifestyle posthaste and without regard to time invested in the relationship. In essence, "when your punk-ass gonna make it rain?" It is like the theme song to "The Jeffersons". They are zealously anxious about you inviting them(permanently????)...and their family...to that "deluxe apartment in the skyyyy" because they cant get past the doorman.

You may encounter that or not but tied into that is the same Sour Grapes you get from the guys when you win at dominoes. You have so much, we have so little, and you dont deserve it.
Remember these people think anything resembling the minimum of hard work in incredibly onerous and unworthy.
These women, in question, hear of all the great things you will do for them from other women, but always absent in these discourses is the effort required.from the them not only to get the goods but keep them. I dont know about you but I frequently have these weird exchanges where women with no physical investment in the budding relationship exhaust my sensibilities with what they think they "deserve".

His Royal Majesty, Lord Belly Button Kidney Bean, House of Donkey Kong

 

[the gorgon]

If I can guess it can be with a few Dominican women that you are experiencing "the quiet rush", "the impatient urgency", "the hasty scramble". The impending desire for you to improve her lifestyle posthaste and without regard to time invested in the relationship. In essence, "when your punk-ass gonna make it rain?" It is like the theme song to "The Jeffersons". They are zealously anxious about you inviting them(permanently????)...and their family...to that "deluxe apartment in the skyyyy" because they cant get past the doorman.

You may encounter that or not but tied into that is the same Sour Grapes you get from the guys when you win at dominoes. You have so much, we have so little, and you dont deserve it.
Remember these people think anything resembling the minimum of hard work in incredibly onerous and unworthy.
These women, in question, hear of all the great things you will do for them from other women, but always absent in these discourses is the effort required.from the them not only to get the goods but keep them. I dont know about you but I frequently have these weird exchanges where women with no physical investment in the budding relationship exhaust my sensibilities with what they think they "deserve".

His Royal Majesty, Lord Belly Button Kidney Bean, House of Donkey Kong

my sentiments exactly, only expressed in a more articulate manner than i am capable of.

an insightful and brilliant observation about hearing things from other women. my buddy is hooked up with a wonderful girl from humble beginnings, and she has the opportunity to further her studies, and expand her independence. most of her friends cannot understand why she would want to. you have your gringo now, they say. this is not the gringo stereotype of an old , weatherbeaten buzzard, who cannot walk 20 yards without keeling over. this guy has dated fashion models, and has all the swag in the world. so, it is not even the case of a Dominicana dating a Canadian, or a Jamaican, or whatever. it is a Dominicana dating a gringo.

 

[the gorgon]

Applying all of this to the original poster, Dominican men as well love gringas, at least physically. While we might look at a woman older than the man, and over weight and say that he is using her we need to remember that a lot of normal Dominican men would love to have a gringa girlfriend just for her looks. We also should not apply gringo standards of beauty and thinness to women as Dominican men are often more attracted to women with curves or a bit overweight than thin women.

i hope you wrote that with your tongue firmly planted in your cheek.

 

[SKY]

What I would like to know is why is thread still open? The OP is posting in China now looking for someone to encourage her, certainly not here anymore.

 

[the gorgon]

No, I am actually being serious. Some of the Dominican men that I know can't wait for their cita at the embassy so that they can travel to America and date gringas. Dating a gringa seems to be the crowing achievement in their lives. As far as appearances we need to remember that curves are celebrated in Latin culture (note I said curves, not obesity). Anyhow, very often on Facebook a Dominican will post a picture of 2 models 1 plus sized the other thin. Always the plus sized model gets the most of their votes.

puh..leez! Dominican women have curves, too. better curves. big, round, shapely ass. if you believe that some 22 year old guy is with a 55 year old gringa because he likes how she looks, then you and i see different things.

 

[the gorgon]

Not speaking about these huge age differences. I agree I think Dominican women are the best, I am just saying that many Dominican men think otherwise. If they are close in age and weight many Dominican will lust after the gringa rather than the Dominicana, just as the women will lust after the gringo in simular circumstances.

they lust after them because they think they have the resources to support them. they do not want them because they are better looking than their women.

 

[the gorgon]

No its physical. I wish I could go into more detail, but we are not supposed to discuss race here according to the powers that be. I am sure you know what I would say if not restricted.

i get your drift. no need to risk an infraction by explaining it.

it is not physical attraction, so much. it is the status they think it bestows upon them. look at which gringas they date.

 

[santiagodude]

I believe its tied to an inferiority complex which frequently shows itself throughout the DR culture......If you believe someone else is better than you (financially and socially), naturally your attraction towards them will increase......The opposite is also true in most cases.

 

[HUG]

Something I must interject here without sounding arrogant, a lot of Dominicanas are very attracted to gringos. I am not talking about ones with huge age differences, ugly gringos etc. When I go out at least one group of women will look at me when I am out with my wife or by myself both in America and in the DR and say "que lindo" or "que guapo" or "que rico". I am not a fashion model, I also am not old either. My wife still gets a bit angry, but has gotten used to it. These women are not trying to get with me, they are not giving me their numbers etc., they are just admiring, as many Dominican women are very attracted to gringos.

They can be sarcastic and like a good giggle between themselves as much as the next. That is really funny! More likely having a crack at your Mrs and mocking a little. Dominican women generally like the Dominican package, cheese and macho n all.

 

[the gorgon]

I believe its tied to an inferiority complex which frequently shows itself throughout the DR culture......If you believe someone else is better than you (financially and socially), naturally your attraction towards them will increase......The opposite is also true in most cases.

absolutely true. it has nothing to do with the person being a foreigner. it has to do with the age old belief that some people are better than they are, and if they are sleeping with them, then all is well with the world.

 

[HUG]

Not speaking about these huge age differences. I agree I think Dominican women are the best, I am just saying that many Dominican men think otherwise. If they are close in age and weight many Dominican will lust after the gringa rather than the Dominicana, just as the women will lust after the gringo in simular circumstances.

Utterly void. You say they are good stand up men, then they wouldn't pay as much sweeping statement. What you said contradicts itself in terms, entirely. Any man who says I love Dominican women because they are more beautiful is as ignorant as the men that say vice versa for gringas.
There are some beautiful Dominican women, but no more than anywhere else. Maybe they refer to under the skin and then I agree.

 

[HUG]

Men tend not to be as concerned about the economic aspects.

I disagree entirely. In DR no, men are pu55y obsessed (like teeneagers starting high school, it's really sad to watch), but put them back in their native territory and they would not be seen dead with Massier the Banca chic with no future and no education. But then it does explain alot about why so many marry Dominicanas, it's easy to take on a dumb ass chic with nothing an no future.
And lets face it, many many of the men who are marrying Dominicanas really do not even have the luxury of interest towards them at all back home, just a fact.

 

[HUG]

I am not speaking about beauty, when I explain why I prefer Dominican women it has to do will values. You are actually saying that Dominican women have worse values than gringas? I think we must have lived in different worlds.

I say Dominicans in general have worse values on so many levels. Don't try to manipulate the reality around who you are with in effort to convince us you didn't just pick up a scrag end and make it yours. Maybe you have a great woman we don't know, but that statement as a generalization is way out. If you're going to generalize then you have to go off the majority and the majority contradict your statement. Who you landed doesn't matter, the majority is significant to your idea.

 

[HUG]

I think we just disagree here. Generally speaking I would take the values of a poor humble dominicana over the secular liberal Oprah/ Dr. Phil values of a middle class gringa any day.

Her values or stupidity? But I'll not argue as that would make me a hypocrite. We all look for different things and hokd different things of value.

 

[HUG]

A few years before I got married I lost interest in American raised women as I knew that our values were incompatible. I completely lost interest in them, and this is when I had to start beating them off with a stick. The secret to attracting women anywhere is to be confident and somewhat disinterested. I could give you a seminar on this if I was still single.

Last thing I need is attention from women thanks. I'm on an open time out, and better for it, give me fish and chips and a night at the Greyhounds any day of the week.

 

[HUG]

Value for family, love and respect for her husband, general respect and modesty towards others. These are all values seen in most Dominicanas. Again I am speaking in general.

Yeh, we disagree massively. I get that elsewhere, but not in DR.

 

[santiagodude]

It seems the mongoose may have landed one of the three perfect Dominican female companions on the island and may be painting the remaining female population in a more favorable light, reflective of his marital bliss........

 

[Mm530]

I am Colombian born in the US and fell in love with a beautiful dominicana in SD. It was love at first sight. I was extremely aware of all the cautionary " western union" tales and was not gonna caught slipping out there ! We started as friends and I would come to visit every month or so. Spend a few days at an A1 and some days in the capital with her friends. It was great to just come to an island, grab a beer, relax in the weather ( I live in the Northeast US) and have this beautiful girl with me.

She is not from SD but from Vicente Noble and comes from very humble origins. I mean REALLY humble. She didn't even know name brands !

We talk literally everyday and I can't wait to see her again in 2 weeks when I go. She has no visa so I go to see her. She actually has no interest in coming to the US only to be with me she says. I can tell she really don't care for the US... she loves DR and has no intentions of leaving her family... which is what I love about her. No Chapi chapi !

Also I have never given her money , nor has she asked for any cash what so ever. The only money I give her is when she comes with me the SDQ and I giver her cab fare back to the bus stop.

Like someone said " Every DR relationship is questionable , until proven otherwise" ... its been almost a year and she has passed my test !

Our convesations include politics, current events, problems with the DR, her family, etc... never about money or things like that.

Her phone got stolen a few months back and I made it very clear she can use her old phone and does not need a new one from NY ! and she was OK with that and we moved from the subject. I feel like the average gold digger would dump her gringo for not giving her a new iphone or androy ! lol
Contrary to what most posters here write... there is true love out there. I understand that there are lots of chapiadoras but this girl aint one.

Don't generalize because everyone is different ! There are honest, hard working women in the DR... its all about your mentality and what you are looking for l.