Miguel's "Golden Rules" If Looking For A Good Dominican Man

[alicious]

i guess there's a certain excitement about being mistreated that some people enjoy :ermm:

Maybe they don't enjoy it...but don't know how to get out of it once they are sucked into the situation...

Especially if they have made the move to go live with their sankie and given up whatever they had in their home country!

Yes it may be their fault for going into a situation so blindly...but once they get there it may not be so easy to get out, so maybe they are not sticking around for the "excitement of being treated bad"...but maybe they don't have such as easy way out of their situation as it was to get into it!

Unfortunately...if they had read a thread like this before hand, and were smart enough to listen to it...they wouldn't be stuck in that predicament!!:cheeky:

 

[miguel]

Toma esto......

Excellent, excellent post. What I find strange, a little weird and disheartening all at the same time is that these very same people complain about finding themselves in these situations yet for the life of them can't get off the merry-go-round of self flagellation.

Berzin, it's just a cycle MANY can't get out of.

See, A LOT of people KNOW what they are getting themselves into from the beginning. They see the red flags all over the place. BUTTTT:

One of the reasons (IN MY OPINION) why they just don't care to see "what's written on the wall" is because they are desperate and ANYBODY would do, good or bad!.

A LOT of people NEED to be loved RIGHT NOW, BY WHOMEVER, and when a person feels like that, they are an "accident waiting to happen" because chances are that said person will NOT take her/his time to get to know the other person!.

See, that's one of the reasons why I tell people here, when they come complaining about their "NOW axxhole" significant other (before a " dreamy different Dominican"), that they are the ones to blame for NOT seeing what was "staring at their faces".

Desperate people do desperate things.

One of those things is NOT seeing the red flags thrown at them from ALLLL directions!!.

 

[miguel]

No tan repido......

Yes it may be their fault for going into a situation so blindly...but once they get there it may not be so easy to get out, so maybe they are not sticking around for the "excitement of being treated bad"...but maybe they don't have such as easy way out of their situation as it was to get into it!

Unfortunately...if they had read a thread like this before hand, and were smart enough to listen to it...they wouldn't be stuck in that predicament!!:cheeky:

Welllllllll......

You know, life is not as hard as SOME people make it out to be.

Just like people say that there are hundreds of different answers for every question, there are hundreds of ways how to get out of a certain situation.

MANY make ALLLLL kind of excuses why they can NOT. But the fact of the matter is that if they REALLY wanted to get out, they WILL find a way.

If a person goes into a relationship thinking with his/her heart, chances are that he/she will have difficulties seen the obvious (what's in front).

Show me a person who decides to leave his/her confort zone (country) to go live at a third world country with someone he/she met a "few weeks ago" and I WILL show you someone who is desperate.

I am telling you, there's a BIIIIG difference between "love" and "lust" and it just happens that MOST of the people who decide to leave their lives behind to go live with someone who makes less money than a "limpiabotas" don't know the difference even if it bites them in the BUTTTTT!.

 

[Berzin]

Then you have these cutltural differences that will be impossible to hurdle.

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

 

[Potato_Salad]

Then you have these cutltural differences that will be impossible to hurdle.

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

You have brought up very good and important points.

For me, I just do not bother meeting the type of women who are late, see me as a walking ATM machine, or have their family over all the time. We do not deserve to meet with such people.

I remember Miguel (aka. "El Verdugo" aranoid saying something very important, "When I meet a girl, I like to be challenged."

And I like to be challenged as well. Sometimes I strike out and sometimes I hit into a double play. But I sometimes get a key hit (just like David Ortiz lol). :bunny:

For me, this is where I like to meet nice, polite, financially independent, smart, and beautiful Dominican women (in Santo Domingo).

• Acropolis Mall
• Bella Vista Mall
• College campuses (Especially PUCMM which is located next to Plaza Universitaria on Sarasota Ave.)
• Hard Rock Cafe (On a Friday or weekend but it gets very crowded)
• In the airplane (Especially during the summer months. Many cute college students visit their family and friends in the States)
• Metro bus (Santiago to Santo Domingo route or vice versa)
• McDonalds (One on Maximo Gomez and the other on Sarasota Ave. A lot of cute college girls hang out here. But the McDonalds in Santo Domingo do not sell milkshakes!!! :tired

These women are harder to get. But I do not mind. Because like Miguel has said, we like to be challenged.

Based on my experience, if you meet these women at the places that I have mentioned, they tend to be financially independent (some of them are born with silver spoons but that's okay lol), on time, polite, bi-lingual, have much less drama and baggage, and a positive attitude towards life (especially the spoiled rich ones, their attitudes seem to be too positive. lol)

Just my 2 pesos.

 

[Berzin]

You will never catch the average tourist in these places trying to strike up a conversation with a classy dominican. Some people want it easy, so this is where the barrio chicas come into play.

Barrio dwellers do not care what you look like, how you smell or whether you speak spanish or not.

Now if one were to frequent the places that Potato_Salad mentioned, you need to step it up and come correct. You can always dress casually but neat, making sure your personal grooming is up to the challenge.

Challenge yourself first and see how far you get. Hit the damn gym every once in a while and concern yourself with your appearance.

And maintain your dignity and self-respect by rejecting any drama the instant it comes your way.

If you do this you'll see a difference in the type of people you attract.

 

[Potato_Salad]

You will never catch the average tourist in these places trying to strike up a conversation with a classy dominican. Some people want it easy, so this is where the barrio chicas come into play.

Barrio dwellers do not care what you look like, how you smell or whether you speak spanish or not.

Now if one were to frequent the places that Potato_Salad mentioned, you need to step it up and come correct. You can always dress casually but neat, making sure your personal grooming is up to the challenge.

Challenge yourself first and see how far you get. Hit the damn gym every once in a while and concern yourself with your appearance.

And maintain your dignity and self-respect by rejecting any drama the instant it comes your way.

If you do this you'll see a difference in the type of people you attract.

Very good points Berzin and I agree with you!!! :classic:

And for all of you female readers who hookup with young and muscular sankies, there are so many places to meet nice, financially-independent, and polite Dominican men.

For example, I stay at the Hilton Hotel whenever I am in Santo Domingo. One of the managers there is polite, has a great job, tri-lingual (Spanish, English, and French), and a sharp guy.

Now do not get me wrong, if anyone wants to hook up with a cute girl from the barrio or a young and muscular sankie, that is fine with me (after all, its your time, money, and vacation). But do not be surprised or upset if the relationship did not meet/or excel your expectations.

 

[miguel]

Bueno.......

Then you have these cutltural differences that will be impossible to hurdle.

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

I gotta hand it to you, Berzin, these are GREEEEAT questions.

Questions that I WILL love to give MY OPINIONS on. BUUUUT:

I will let others tell you THEIR answers, before I give you mine.

More than likely we will NOT hear from "da ladies" but knowing that SOME of them are "reading" (and perhaps "learning") it's what matters.

One thing though, I can't wait to answer your questions, which I WILL in an hour or so.

Btw: the answers are VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY easy. At least easy for me!.

 

[Potato_Salad]

I gotta hand it to you, Berzin, these are GREEEEAT questions.

Questions that I WILL love to give MY OPINIONS on. BUUUUT:

I will let others tell you THEIR answers, before I give you mine.

More than likely we will NOT hear from "da ladies" but knowing that SOME of them are "reading" (and perhaps "learning") it's what matters.

One thing though, I can't wait to answer your questions, which I WILL in an hour or so.

Btw: the answers are VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY easy. At least easy for me!.

Hola "El Verdugo", como es tas?

Ahora por favor!!! lol

Tu Chinito Amigo,

Potato_Salad

 

[La Mariposa]

Then you have these cutltural differences that will be impossible to hurdle.

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

It's very simple, don't socialize with that kind of people.

The people that come to my place, come because I invite them and they eat and drink what I offer them. If someone appears without having been invited and it doesn't suit me i'll tell them: Escusame, no te podemos atender vamos a salir.

 

[dv8]

Then you have these cutltural differences that will be impossible to hurdle.

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

i second la mariposa. socialize with the right people. cultural difference is bad enough. why would i add language/education/financial differences to already tough relationship? get together with someone from your shelf.

how does one meet a good dominican who would fit all HB and miguel's rules? must be a fluke because i really do not see many foreigners among dominican upper crust, and those who are there all have individual stories on how they met their dominican partners.

 

[miguel]

No esta malo.....

Hey, lookie lookie, posts from 2 brave women.....LOL.

Let me give it a little more time in case other females want to put their 2 cents. (NOT likely).

Btw, La Mariposa, no need to lie to those who show up uninvited.

I'll tell you why in a bit.........

 

[Bronxboy]

I'll tell you why in a bit.........

Ohhhh the suspense!!!!

 

[miguel]

Como?.....

Ohhhh the suspense!!!!

Come on, stop pulling me by the "bolas" and write/say your 2 cents, "WOMAN", whahahaha!!. JK, or course!.

 

[Bronxboy]

Come on, stop pulling me by the "bolas" and write/say your 2 cents, "WOMAN", whahahaha!!. JK, or course!.

of course, I would not have taken it any other way (oh boy, that doesn't sound right, lol)

 

[miguel]

Lo sabia.....

How do you deal with someone who is always late because it is "culturally" accepted?

How do you deal with having family(their family, not yours) coming over all the time and eating and drinking you out of house, home and Presidente?

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

What I am about to write is MY OPINION and the way I have handled such situations:

First of all, Berzin, when you socialize with people you have 'things' in common, there would be NO need to ask the questions you asked.

Like that old Prophet, MiguelElOgro, once said:

"A person's network of friends is that person's reflection".

Berzin, being late is NOT culturally accepted because I have a few friends in the DR that are NEVER late and it really phiss the hell out of them when others are.

When SOME of my friends are late, I let them know that I don't like it but the end result is that there's just NOTHING one can do about it.

About uninvited guests, mark my words:

NOBODY is allowed to come to my house uninvited!!.

The only person who could is not with us anymore (my mom). This is something you tell people when you are getting to know them.

If you socialize with the right people, they WILL respect your wishes, just like you respect theirs.

From the get-go, I let people know that my home is my castle and that it's unacceptable to me if they took the liberty to show up without being invited.

You want to know how passionate I am about it?.

In my DOGGIES days, I had a girlfriend who decided to show up uninvited. She knocked on the door and I said "what are you doing here?", she answered "I wanted to surprise you", I said "you know how I feel about people just showing up", she said "well, let me in", I said "no", she said "why not, is there a woman with you?", I immediately grabbed her hand, gave her a tour of the apartment, took her back to the front door and told her "see, there's no one here, now go home", and closed the door behind her.

Maybe it was a little harsh but let me tell you, she NEVER took the liberty again!!.

I see nothing wrong with telling people NOT to show up uninvited.

Actually, when SOME have asked to be invited to my house or why they haven't been invited, my reply is always the same: "Don't invite yourself, let ME invite you when I am ready". Then I proceed to tell them how I don't like people inviting themselves to my house.

When it comes to my space, I don't sugar coate things!.

Ask around (AZB and Planner) and they will tell you that I am a no-nonsense type of guy.

I demand respect from my family and friends. The same respect I give them.

Bottom line: I can assure you that my family and friend would NEVER, EEEEEVER show up at my house uninvited!. I would NOT stand for it, and they know it.

Since this became a long post (what else is new) I will answer your other question in a bit.

 

[miguel]

Que importa......

How do you deal with knowing that these same family members think you are a walking ATM?

How are you supposed to live a life of dignity if you absolve yourself of your independance and self-respect to cater to someone who will not appreciate your efforts, will take you for granted and thinks nothing of putting you last all the time because "their" family comes first?

Someone please explain this to me.

Berzin, who cares if others think you are a walking ATM machine?.

I mean, even if they do, it's your job to make them stop thinking you are.

People WILL treat you the way you allow them to treat you. As simple as that!.

Tell them you are NOT and stick to your guns even when they come running to you with all kind of "emergencies".

I had an acquaintance in the DR who, MANY MOONS ago, asked me if I have brought him something from the US. My answer was simple and sweet:

"The US streets are NOT covered with money. Be happy to see me, don't be happy because you think I brought you something". As simple as that!.

MOST Dominicans WILL judge you by the way you act.

If they see you 'waving' your money around, they will think you have money to spare.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trust me Berzin, I would NEEEEEEEEEEVER, EVER date someone who doesn't appreciate my efforts.....

I would NEEEEEVER, EVER date someone who takes me for granted....

I would NEEEEEVER, EVER date someone who puts her family first and me last ALLL the time. (I must say that if they put their moms first, that will be ok with me).

Annnd, if by any chance she change for the worse AFTER we took the relationship to the next level, I WOULD DUMP her AXX without thinking about it twice!. Nothing new to me, as I posted before.

The reason you get to know a person first is to know if you and her have "hings" in common. If she has things you don't like, move on.

Yeah, it's that easy!.

 

[La Mariposa]

Hey, lookie lookie, posts from 2 brave women.....LOL.

Let me give it a little more time in case other females want to put their 2 cents. (NOT likely).

Btw, La Mariposa, no need to lie to those who show up uninvited.

I'll tell you why in a bit.........

I know, no need to lie but don't want to be rude either.

It happens that people tell me they will stop by my place a tomar una bien fria especially when we are at the colmado and the employee is loading una caja de grandes y una de pequenas into the vehicle. My answer?? Nadie viene a mi casa sin estar invitado asi que aguantate, te avisar?.

 

[Potato_Salad]

For those of you who live in New York City (or New Jersey), as you know, there is a large Dominican community in that city.

Which means that there are so many cute, pretty, smart, mature, cute (its worth mentioning again :bunny: ), polite, and cool Dominican women in New York City to meet and date.

I used to live in NYC from 2003 until 2006 and I have met many wonderful Dominican men and women. And dating Dominican women was a lot of fun!!!

The same goes for all you female readers out there. There are many great Dominican guys to date in NYC (or any other city). You just gotta find them.

So for those of you who want to date a Dominican man/woman, look for them in your city (e.g. NYC, Boston, Toronto, Montreal, Tokyo, Moscow, Paris, Pyoungyang, North Korea, etc.) because I think this is another great option that people tend to forget.

 

[miguel]

Dejame explicartelo....

I know, no need to lie but don't want to be rude either.

It happens that people tell me they will stop by my place a tomar una bien fria especially when we are at the colmado and the employee is loading una caja de grandes y una de pequenas into the vehicle. My answer?? Nadie viene a mi casa sin estar invitado asi que aguantate, te avisar?.

La Mariposa, I really don't know how old you are, and just thinking about it, it really doesnt matter because I am a true believer that a person's age has NOTHING to do with a person's wiseness (?). BUUUUT:

One thing I know, at times, when it comes to MANY Dominicans (especially those who invite themselves to your house), sometimes you have NO choice but to be a little rude for them to get the point.

When those "frescos" hear "ooh, I am sorry but we are going out now", ALLLLL you are saying to them is "sorry, come back again".

Trust me, they WILL keep showing up at your house, uninvited, unless you are STERN with them.

Don't believe me, ask DR1 member Cris Colon!.

See, that's one of the reason I am so picky when I select my friends. NONE of my friends would even dream of showing up in my house uninvited.

Actually, my old friends know me so well that when I was in the DR a few weeks ago, my friend Mayra (known her for 24 years) had to ask me if it was ok for a friend of hers to pick up something at the Villa.

Of course it was ok, but the fact that she asked made me aware that she does knows me well.

A friend of mine, a Long Island University's Brooklyn Campus graduate, once told me that uninvited guess lack education.

I don't think the same way.

I think that there are SOME people, from ALLLLL classes, that just like to take liberties and push "bottoms" to see how far they can get away with it.

It's OUR jobs to "educate" them. In VEEEEERY stern ways, if needs be.