Mom CB has passed RIP

[Onions/Carrots]

I have always enjoyed your posts here and have come to see you as an online friend. I am so sorry for your loss.

A remarkable woman indeed earning a PhD in a time when women were suppressed from attaining such titles much more than today.

I see know where you got your smarts.

Take care, a big hug from Onions and Carrots

 

[cobraboy]

A short follow-up:

Between bureaucracy and CV19, taking care of Mom CB's final wishes has been a challenge.

Despite proper PoA's, Wills, and specific instructions, cremation in the DR, not to mention the cremation of a foreigner, is fraught with issues.

According to DR law, as has been explained by Blandino (who are fine people to deal with), the living spouse has to approve, and if the spouse is deceased or incapacitated, ALL the children must accept. In our case, for numerous reasons, this is impossible, not to mention all legal matters are delegated to me.

At issue is cremation was not specified in either the PoA or the Will, although it is defined in a document outlining precisely what steps I, as executor, will take upon Mom CB's death. Many know Mom CB and know what a notorious OCD list and instruction-delegator she was, right down to what words are redacted when the instructions are given to certain parties.

So it has taken 12 days for Blandino and the US Embassy to finally sign off on the cremation and repatriation of the ashes to the U.S.

And now no church in Santiago will hold a mass because of CV19.

So my advice for those who want cremation in the DR: prepare a notarized document specifying your wishes to be cremated, so there is no doubt. This instruction can be a stand-alone document or in your will. It can even be placed in your PoA document to extend that power into your death (or so I am told.)

And keep in mind that all remains to be cremated will undergo a mandatory autopsy. I don't know if this is the case in the states.

 

[william webster]

What a debacle....

Yes, ALL foreigners are subject to autopsy....

The idea of a separate document for cremation is a good - clear, clean, simple


My experience in Canada w/ my mother was similar

Full power to me and her DNR instructions.... sounds simple, huh?

The hospital then asks a series of questions regarding that DNR -

Food?
Water?
Pain?

I answered...
Put it in front of her... if she eats fine.... if not remove it
Yes, hydrate her
Yes, no pain

There was more....
but my point is - no matter how well prepared you think you are.... there will be hurdles

That idea of the whole family agreeing jives with the inheritance laws here
Just the way it is... I guess

Best of luck CB.....
It will end.....

 

[Russell]

I am truly sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to loose a MomRIP Mom.
Russell

 

[Luperon]

So sorry

 

[AZB]

Sorry to hear about your loss CB. I do remember you had mention the illness of your mom when we recently in Santiago and from what i had gathered from our conversation, she was not well. May her soul rest in peace.

 

[PICHARDO]

Thanks for the kind words. Many here have lost a parent and understand the emotions.

She loved the DR and knew this country would be where she drew her last breath.

She had a tough go the last two months with pneumonia. She conquered the pneumonia, but at the end pneumonia took her life away. We were fortunate to be with constantly during this period.

She will be cremated with a short service in Santiago maybe Monday. That day is fungible because of the increased bureaucracy when a foreigner passes away and the ashes will be removed from the country. But so far Blandino has performed flawlessly.

I'll take her ashes to the family burial plot in Memphis in early April.

Eloise was a unique human, beginning with her name, a family name. Her father was the first All-American football player from the south, in 1911. She volunteered at a VA hospital in Memphis for amputees during WWII as a teen, visiting soldiers with good cheer. She and her siblings organized neighborhood metal and rubber drives for the war effort. She was in charge of the family vegetable garden and chickens during the lean war years.

She became a "Cotton Queen" finalist in Memphis, a local beauty pageant.

She earned a PhD in psychology and became a college professor. She was a first-generation feminist, and broke the "glass ceiling" in the mid-60's by becoming the first female dean an a nearly all-male state engineering university. She conquered her sexist colleagues with feminine guile, a smile, Southern charm...and wicked smarts.

She raised her kids to be independent from an early age. A prime example was a gift I received for my 10th birthday: my own iron and ironing board. After an hour's lesson, if I wanted my clothes to look good, I had to iron them myself. I learned how to accidently melt silk and polyester at an early age.

When I was 7, she taught me how to throw and kick a football, and a career was born.

She taught me how to make a souffle and a killer Caesar dressing. Through her, I learned to love cooking.

She loved living things and had a green thumb. Our home always had plants everywhere, inside and out, and dogs and cats running around. To this day.

Many here have met her.

She will be missed, but as she always preached, "Life is for the Living."

My deepest belated condolences to you and your extended family.

This is what you call a life well lived and a great example to those that ever knew her and future generations.

Her life is her monument, and her love was clearly shared by a many.

She knew she was loved and her memory persist in those she loved as well.

 

[Juan Bosch]

My condolences to CB and family...RIP

 

[drtampa]

From one to another, She deserves one more, "Hotty Toddy!"

 

[JimmyGibbon]

I am so very sorry for your loss, Cobraboy.