More Pointless Humor For The Weekend!

Musicqueen

Miami Nice!
Jan 31, 2002
2,252
4
0
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to playcards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mable answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
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When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice
in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."
Replied the widow," I nursed him night and day so of course I know He died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."
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An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They
were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the
boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 .. .please advise"
The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"

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AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
410
83
Funny and oh so true. I used to say I was forgetful because I was so busy but now I'm just forgetful. Please don't use the S word on me yet.
I was running around in my daughter's car. She later called and asked if I had seen her blue sunglasses. I said NO. It was a rainy day no need for them. She asked if anyone else had been in the car. I said NO. Well two days went by. I reached inside my purse and found blue sunglasses. I laughed so hard and still have no idea how they got there. I think I may have knocked them off the viser and when I got into her garage, it was dark and thinking they were mine, I just stuck them in my purse.

Ok ok I'm rambling here