I disagree, I saw a girl getting a good kicking from a guy in Sosua once. Turned out she had pick pocketed him while standing at the bar, got caught in the act.
Deserves everything she got, IMO.
my car vs. your domestic violence
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I disagree, I saw a girl getting a good kicking from a guy in Sosua once. Turned out she had pick pocketed him while standing at the bar, got caught in the act.
Deserves everything she got, IMO.
There was a Youtube video(now erased)linked to one of my Dominican friend's Facebook post. In it, a Dominican woman on a beach was giving some Dominican guy a very erotic dance movement; while she leaned back to accentuate it, her boyfriend appeared and gave her what can only be described as a "sucker punch" to the side of her head. The blow sent her reeling backwards while the object of her "affection" walked away as if it had nothing to do with him. There was laughter in the background and no one around made a move to intervene. Not passing judgement, just pointing out that overt and public violence against women in the DR, sometimes doesn't even raise an eyebrow.:ermm:
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Oh, I get it. Your excuse for interfering in other people's business is that you have already deduced that the Man is in the wrong, even if he's acting in self defense. You also apparently operate under the inane assumption that Women are incapable of defending themselves. I know several well equipped and prepared Ladies who would take serious issue with that one and wouldn't mind inviting you to the dojo to prove your theory out.
You ain't John Wayne and you ain't in anybody's cavalry and you want to claim "honor" you'll need to post your DD-214 and if you don't have one please stop trying to compensate.
The fact of the matter is that in the original post we are given that there is a fight between a Man and a Woman (like in they are fighting one another). We don't know what it's about, we don't know how long it's been going on, we just know that there's a fight. We also know that the Man threw a punch at the Woman. Again we don't know why but it was evidenced by our poster and it wasn't reported as a "pummeling" (you're so drama filled, must be too many cowboy movies). Now we get to the squirrely part. There were others present who were also aware of this apparent domestic dispute who chose to mind their own business and stayed out of it (hint to the Gringo) and on top of all this our poster admits that he doesn't feel that his command of the language prepared him sufficiently to intervene.
I think he made the only sane decision. You see, this decision had nothing to do with honor or he'd have been wearing a cape and flying around when it happened. It had to do with deductive reasoning and appropriate response.
By the way, from a legal standpoint you don't need an "excuse" to mind your own business. You need an "excuse" to butt your nose into someone else's.
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"All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
Understood, 'dred: You'd stand by and let a girl get smashed. Deductive reasoning and all that.
The OP admits he's a coward. 'Nuff said. BTW, the OP said:
engineerfg said:
You can parse all you want but sounds like a "pummeling" to me.
At least we know where you stand on domestic violence: it's OK as long as you don't have ALL the facts, might get hurt and use deductive reasoning. And a bonus if she "deserved" it.
Out.
That was the best response so far.
Cops here and probably everywhere try not to get involved in a domestic or a fight between two brothers or friends. The same goes for a crazy person, a pregnant woman. Walk away. All will be sorted out. They will kiss and make up or the father or brother will kill the MF. You'll only attract major problems by getting involved.
There are ways to help in these situations without getting too personal. The situation the OP wrote about I would not have gotten involved. Is that morally roght? Not where I come from but in the DR it is. It would be too dangerous for an expat to intervene in such a crowd. We need to understand the culture differences and respect them even if we don't agree.
I was in a situation where I came upon a man beating the sh*t out of his partner. It was on the street in JD. I knew that I couldn't/shouldn't physically stop the man. What I did was to startle him by yelling loudly HEY! BASTA! Voy por las casa por eso! Diablo!
Ta mucho personas sobre la calle y ellos no quieres verte! The man was surprised that anyone would say anything to him. He was used to people letting it happen. He stopped what he was doing and she ran away. Who knows what happened later but it helped for that moment.
I was in a situation where I came upon a man beating the sh*t out of his partner. It was on the street in JD. I knew that I couldn't/shouldn't physically stop the man. What I did was to startle him by yelling loudly HEY! BASTA! Voy por las casa por eso! Diablo!
Ta mucho personas sobre la calle y ellos no quieres verte! The man was surprised that anyone would say anything to him. He was used to people letting it happen. He stopped what he was doing and she ran away. Who knows what happened later but it helped for that moment.
Scenario
OK.... an apparent domestic squabble.... remember the Cdn death...
Just suppose that this was a sex situation.... hooker w/ a Pimp behind the scene..
She signs on for a bit of money anticipating "benign" sex...
The new client has something different in mind.... a bit more "KINKY"..
She declines... and even argues.......
Pimp decides to set things straight... beats the shyte of her to complete the deal
Just a thought....... any Russians in the crowd ??
WW
OK.... an apparent domestic squabble.... remember the Cdn death...
Just suppose that this was a sex situation.... hooker w/ a Pimp behind the scene..
She signs on for a bit of money anticipating "benign" sex...
The new client has something different in mind.... a bit more "KINKY"..
She declines... and even argues.......
Pimp decides to set things straight... beats the shyte of her to complete the deal
Just a thought....... any Russians in the crowd ??
WW
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I was on a bus in Honduras and was a witness to something similar. A man was with what appeared to be his wife/partner and young child, all seated catty-corner to me. They were arguing and he started beating on her. She was screaming as was the child. I looked around and everyone ignored the situation.
I went to the bus driver, who apparently knew the aggressor, and asked him to intervene. He said something along the lines of "Calm down, save it for later." He stopped for about 5 minutes then started again. I felt helpless, but like i had to do something. So I stared at the man until i caught his eye. He told me to mind my own business. I said, "No, not until you stop." I didn't take my eye off him, and he stopped.
By pure chance, the bus was stopped at a police checkpoint. I went to the police officer and made a complaint, which the driver confirmed. They took the family off the bus. I have no idea what happened after that.
I can't imagine being in that poor woman's position- thankfully i've never been in a physically abusive relationship like that. But if i, god forbid, ever were, I imagine it would feel pretty darn lonely and terrifying. In my situation, I felt like I had to do something, even if it was just public shaming, or else I would really regret it and didn't think I could live with the guilt. I did think about my safety, which is why I just stared. I knew that as an American woman I could be relatively certain no one would try and mess with me.
I went to the bus driver, who apparently knew the aggressor, and asked him to intervene. He said something along the lines of "Calm down, save it for later." He stopped for about 5 minutes then started again. I felt helpless, but like i had to do something. So I stared at the man until i caught his eye. He told me to mind my own business. I said, "No, not until you stop." I didn't take my eye off him, and he stopped.
By pure chance, the bus was stopped at a police checkpoint. I went to the police officer and made a complaint, which the driver confirmed. They took the family off the bus. I have no idea what happened after that.
I can't imagine being in that poor woman's position- thankfully i've never been in a physically abusive relationship like that. But if i, god forbid, ever were, I imagine it would feel pretty darn lonely and terrifying. In my situation, I felt like I had to do something, even if it was just public shaming, or else I would really regret it and didn't think I could live with the guilt. I did think about my safety, which is why I just stared. I knew that as an American woman I could be relatively certain no one would try and mess with me.
Yea, but he was beat by 4 other Canadians. So the details dont match this somewhat. The OP was talking about some Dominican man handling his woman. We dont know the reasons and technically I dont care. This stuff sometimes is mutual. She incites him and prods him and WHAM!
Some people like to idolize women and say "No no, it's never right. It's dastardly to beat on a woman." I say "It depends. What da bitch do?" Seriously, one of my childhood friends was murdered in some sht like that like 4 years ago. He had this chick in Saratoga County, something went down(who knows?), she got upset(apparently beyond the pale), she stabbed him, he bled out in the ambulance. Now what? 37 years old, father of 3, dead. 27 year old woman, pled guilty to 2nd degree homicide, sentenced to 8.33 to 25 years. See? She could have used an ass-whooping. It would have changed her mind on things. And moreover, for him to die and not even have the opportunity to fight for his life because you held to the convention "You should never hit a woman." Fkc that!
I dont know what was going on when the OP had his situation. I know a Nissan Sentra is a piece of sht though. But the way I see if he put it on her in public she was probably so far out of line that he had to do it. Many women use the ass whooping and the intensity of the ass-whooping as an arbiter of how much he loves them. Is it sick and dysfunctional? I dont know, just dont pull no weapon on me and I wont have to show you.
I predict that this thread is going to go downhill and be closed very quickly after that post.
Nevertheless, let me add my two cents worth.
No one, male or female, deserves to be the victim of violence.
I, too, have seen women push men knowing full well that he is going to resort to violence, and I don't understand the dynamic at all.
As to the OP's situation, if I were in his shoes, before anything else, I would have discreetly asked the bystanders if they knew what was going on. From what I have seen, the best way to intervene in these situations is with a non-aggressive response with non-verbal cues. A "tsk tsk" and a judgemental shaking of the head lets the attacker know that his honor has been questioned because of his behavior.
Also, keep in mind that intervening publicly can actually make the situation worse for the victim. If the aggressor becomes enraged because he has been publicly embarrassed because someone bigger and stronger has intervened, he may very well blame his victim for his humiliation. The lesser of two evils is that he hit her a few times in public to prove his masculinity than to kill her privately to defend his honor.
If you see that the abuse has reached a point where the victim's life is in danger, the best way to defuse the situation is to appeal to the aggressor's sense of self-preservation. Ask him if he thinks she is worth going to prison for. Tell him that he has proven his point.
Please be aware that I do not condone this behavior and I believe the reasoning in the mind of many aggressors is convoluted. But the dynamics of domestic violence are complicated, especially in a semi-lawless machismo culture, and each situation is different. If one chooses to respond, please do so in a way that does not make the situation worse for the victim.
More than anything, that is often why Dominicans will not directly intervene in such situations, resulting in the OP's question.
Nevertheless, let me add my two cents worth.
No one, male or female, deserves to be the victim of violence.
I, too, have seen women push men knowing full well that he is going to resort to violence, and I don't understand the dynamic at all.
As to the OP's situation, if I were in his shoes, before anything else, I would have discreetly asked the bystanders if they knew what was going on. From what I have seen, the best way to intervene in these situations is with a non-aggressive response with non-verbal cues. A "tsk tsk" and a judgemental shaking of the head lets the attacker know that his honor has been questioned because of his behavior.
Also, keep in mind that intervening publicly can actually make the situation worse for the victim. If the aggressor becomes enraged because he has been publicly embarrassed because someone bigger and stronger has intervened, he may very well blame his victim for his humiliation. The lesser of two evils is that he hit her a few times in public to prove his masculinity than to kill her privately to defend his honor.
If you see that the abuse has reached a point where the victim's life is in danger, the best way to defuse the situation is to appeal to the aggressor's sense of self-preservation. Ask him if he thinks she is worth going to prison for. Tell him that he has proven his point.
Please be aware that I do not condone this behavior and I believe the reasoning in the mind of many aggressors is convoluted. But the dynamics of domestic violence are complicated, especially in a semi-lawless machismo culture, and each situation is different. If one chooses to respond, please do so in a way that does not make the situation worse for the victim.
More than anything, that is often why Dominicans will not directly intervene in such situations, resulting in the OP's question.
E
engineerfg
Guest
LOL @ The year of the Nissan. It's a throw-away 2001. I will be giving it away when I leave the country next year.
bronxboy offers this
Something like this happens in NY, that guy would have been minced meat!!!!!
Better yet, ROAD KILL!!!!!!
yes, if a guy ever decked his female partner in plain sight in a place like NYC, he would be dead meat before the cops got there to take him in for spousal abuse. in the DR, it is a spectator sport, like jugando gallo. people here love violence, and the resultant spectacle. gives them something to talk about when they are getting ossified on carta dorada.
Something like this happens in NY, that guy would have been minced meat!!!!!
Better yet, ROAD KILL!!!!!!
yes, if a guy ever decked his female partner in plain sight in a place like NYC, he would be dead meat before the cops got there to take him in for spousal abuse. in the DR, it is a spectator sport, like jugando gallo. people here love violence, and the resultant spectacle. gives them something to talk about when they are getting ossified on carta dorada.
Say what? This dude is putting it on some broad and a head nod and a mouth tic will make him stop. Save me a seat by the window on the Great Space Coaster will you?
This is why you mind your business.
Once again, more stupid advice. Didnt they already say the police dont care about these situations?
No, more useless John Wayne advice. JJ and Extreme told you why Dominicans dont get involved in that mess. Because it is a mess and you cannot get in it without getting messed up yourself.
ONE Superman died in a wheelchair, the other one commited suicide and the HULK got sick and died. You cannot fix every ones problems. And expect to be ingratiated at the least.
I doubt it. This happens in NY too, but being a more aggressive place when it happens it is more aggressively also. The beating on her is done. These dudes go straight for killing. Last week, some guy walked into a salon in Manhattan and shot his wife dead, BLAM BLAM! You and Bx get involved in that if you must. But be forewarned: Aint too many handguns that only carry one shell. You get involved in that and you will be lying on the floor with her.
Mas me quiere, mas me pega.
Sick, sick mentality!!!!
I witness, on a gridlock commute coming back from Orchard Beach, a man slap the **** out of a young lady. All of a sudden, two dudes from a nearby car who witness the beating, came out the car and told the guy who was abusing the lady to slap them instead. He refuse to get out the car but she did!!!!!
P***Y that is what I say.
Yea, but 3 weeks later she went back to f-ing him, didnt she? You didnt have to be there but you can bet she did. Besides what if he pulled out a 9 from under the seat and went "Blau Blau!" Even if he dont kill you he could severly incapacitate you. Nah man, F that, she could use the ass whoopin', I will sit here and play with my radio. You heard about that cop that got killed over the weekend because he ran into some domestic situation? OK, well, I dont have no union death benefits to take care of my family nor army to show up at my funeral. So, there it is...
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