Thankfully I payed him off and had him sign in December, so he could fix his house (or so he said), so it wasn't much this time. Paid again and made him sign. "No firma, no dinero!" Even got him to sign the paper admitting he stole, had the cash laying on the counter next to the papers. I used the 'money today' attitude against him.
- Thread starter drSix
- Start date
My Gardener/Handyman/Drinking Buddy/Gringo Tax Advisor...
Aye Aye, Commander
thanks for the edit
however, you catch my drift , huh snowflake ?
another old one..... familiarity breeds contempt.........
thanks for the edit
however, you catch my drift , huh snowflake ?
another old one..... familiarity breeds contempt.........
It's pretty simple to me, I don't mind spending money on drinks and food occasionally since they do a lot of things for me. We are pretty involved in our barrio though.
send them out for a party... don't attend
and remember - thats why you pay them -- for a job well done
I pay for children's health care - make loans... everything I can
but arm's length
Remember 'In the Heat of the Night'??
Sidney Poitier............... They call me Mr. Tibbs
and remember - thats why you pay them -- for a job well done
I pay for children's health care - make loans... everything I can
but arm's length
Remember 'In the Heat of the Night'??
Sidney Poitier............... They call me Mr. Tibbs
I disagree, this is not typical Dominican behavior. There are many, many honest Dominicans that would rather go hungry than compromise their integrety. Yes, alot of them have the menbtality that the "Gringo" has money and can afford it and will take a little ectra food for their families, but outright stealing your money is just a thief and that is what this guy was. You do not need friends like that. A true friend would have warned you about leaving the money laying around like that so that the help would not steal it.
Trust me, I feel bad about the situation. And, for the most part I was okay with the status quo. But, when is enough enough. Looking back it is possible he has taken anywhere from a few hundred pesos a month, to a few hundred dollars a month. Like I said, I don't know what is what. So, many lies...
I'll call him up for a beer in six months. I hope he does well, and can get another job.
I don't think he'll show up here looking for a fight. But, he does know everything about us.
It really depends on your own conduct in the DR.
If you are a gringo looking for friends and always nice to people - expect to be taken advantage of, as most Dominicans only respect mano dura. Then again one has to consider the wisdom of 'buying friends' in any circumstance not only in the DR.
Personally, I am a dour and serious guy and see no need to laugh or socialise with many Dominicans that try to befriend me. This results in less opportunities to be taken in.
Lastly if one thinks this happens only to gringo's think again. Any Dominican with money is aware of this and acts accordingly. Many gringos should do well to copy their behaviour.
If you are a gringo looking for friends and always nice to people - expect to be taken advantage of, as most Dominicans only respect mano dura. Then again one has to consider the wisdom of 'buying friends' in any circumstance not only in the DR.
Personally, I am a dour and serious guy and see no need to laugh or socialise with many Dominicans that try to befriend me. This results in less opportunities to be taken in.
Lastly if one thinks this happens only to gringo's think again. Any Dominican with money is aware of this and acts accordingly. Many gringos should do well to copy their behaviour.
What pray tell does one talk about over dinner and cocktails with a Dominican domestic. Pay them for their service and say good bye.
Would you invite joe the plumber In the U.S out for dinner and hors d'oeuvres after he worked on your toilet. Would you take your auto mechanic to meet business associates.
Would you invite joe the plumber In the U.S out for dinner and hors d'oeuvres after he worked on your toilet. Would you take your auto mechanic to meet business associates.
Even more accurate would be that the constraints on posts are that we align our statements closely with Robert's dogma. CC: please limit your free exchange of ideas.
Dominicans steal from other Dominicans also... I Have the pleasure of knowing a couple families and they have had to LET GO some some of their Help because they were stealing. and really petty Sh*t too .. nothing of great value.. Doms will even put locks on their refrigerators if they have Help coming and going through the house all day...
Fully agree with this.
I used to be nicer to people who worked in the house, my wife never. We have never had regular workers (maid etc.) in the house, but plumbers/handymans etc. of course, and they are never left unattended for one second (for theft etc.). My wife has always been responsible for price negotiations, and they know that. I used to go to this colmado, until once the owner tried to overcharge me for a 2L soda, I pointed that out to his face in front of other people, he stayed still for a bit, looked away and went back to the register and got the missing change. The ridiculous thing is, that in that particular colmado, every worker treats us with respect, it?s the owner who nobody likes and is unfortunately famous (among Dominicans in that neighborhood, no expats living there) for trying to charge extra for everything. .
My wife had to use the washroom at her mothers the other day and there was no toilet paper. She had to wait until her mother took the three locks off her closet to get a roll of toilet paper.
No, she doesn't have to do that, the toilet paper would be perfectly safe. It is just one of her peculiarities. She doesn't buy it anyways. She is the same way with coffee.
WW has it right, don't ever, ever, befriend a worker in your house here. There have to be boundaries. Strict ones.
You'd never see a Dominican out with their maid or gardener in a restaurant - unless it's the ninera there to mind the kids, and even that isn't common. Our gardener and our maid have been in our car exactly one time - when my suegra died, they came to the funeral with us because they knew her so many years. Many years ago she "tested" both of them - leaving small amounts of cash around several times. They both passed.
I know it's not easy drSix, I understand; coming from the US where we never had daily help, I sometimes feel guilty about sitting and reading while they are working and sweating. I'm still working on that.
You'd never see a Dominican out with their maid or gardener in a restaurant - unless it's the ninera there to mind the kids, and even that isn't common. Our gardener and our maid have been in our car exactly one time - when my suegra died, they came to the funeral with us because they knew her so many years. Many years ago she "tested" both of them - leaving small amounts of cash around several times. They both passed.
I know it's not easy drSix, I understand; coming from the US where we never had daily help, I sometimes feel guilty about sitting and reading while they are working and sweating. I'm still working on that.
Great responses from LTSteve and CCCCCCCCCCCCCC, it is what it is. Although, I have to disagree with the comment "The only thing you can do..."
You can also just leave and not choose to live in such a place. You actually say that you tried to pawn him off to others which is not a very principled thing to do. Be careful, you may become what you hate.
Sorry but this is just not true about the US and help there. Maybe old money generational wealth people will treat their help like crap, but they tend to treat everyone like crap.
I lived out West and would often times get someone to clean my place, because I just don't possess that skill set.
Almost always these were Mexican workers, and sometimes didn't speak english. Almost always they did a great job, or at least were trying to, and I would compensate them accordingly, usually giving twice what they asked for. I always found them extremely appreciative. One woman, from Mexico that barely spoke English would stay through lunch so I would bring her a sub, and I noticed she was not eating it. I'm quite sure she was saving it to take home and share, so I started bringing 2 subs back. What I got in return was her trying to make sure everything was perfect - I begged her not to do my laundry, but at times she would still try, ruining some things, but I knew it was out of effort.
When I had my move out cleaning she stayed there to make sure they couldn't charge me, and I'm sure I was the first one they never charged for something. Right there she saved me several hundred dollars.
Same language difference, from a supposed "similar" culture/country, but totally different response. I never felt that the worker felt they could take more from me because I was being "nice". It's not even nice, just providing a fair exchange.
This stuff is unique to the DR on the scale you see it and with the mentality of lose-lose in every case.
Now that I am back working in the real world and people want to hear about the DR, when I tell them stories, they'll make suggestions as to how I should have tried to motivate. The response is always, tried that, but then they will choose to screw you in this way. I then get that look in the eyes with them realizing not all people are the same in what we thought were universal truths.