My vent thread for the first quarter of 2009

[Thandie]

As someone else who posted in another thread, and is married to a Dominican stated..."I don't get charged Gringo prices at either of the Colmados in Jarabacoa because they know they would hear it from my wife or mother-in-law, "

Of course being married to/dating a Dominican has its perks and offers some level of protection...anyone who does not think so is delusional.
Cobraboy,
It has nothing to do with not being 'a strong enough individual', give me a break!
The 3 armed men who broke into my moms house while my mom and my little sister were sleeping, who ended up running scared from us three women definately thought I was strong enough.

So if in 'certain' situations as a single woman here (which YOU are not) I feel I need to listen to my womans intuition and be dishonest and say I am not single here so be it.

The experiences of someone living here for over 15 years and someone being a new face on the block of only a few months would also be different in some regards.

 

[Sanation]

But then I get from men ....'oh I am not jealous its ok you have a husband' lol.

Ladies, I would suggest that you stand your ground and let them percieve you to be a force NOT to be reckoned with! Partner or not, it doesn't matter here. As a 'gringa' you are fair game.

You need to portray an air of confidence and a 'don't mess with me' attitude. I've given up being polite in difficult situations. I now stand my ground and will yell and scream when necessary. As a woman, I can get away with it (and it always makes me feel better! )

 

[Thandie]

Ladies, I would suggest that you stand your ground and let them percieve you to be a force NOT to be reckoned with! Partner or not, it doesn't matter here. As a 'gringa' you are fair game.

You need to portray an air of confidence and a 'don't mess with me' attitude. I've given up being polite in difficult situations. I now stand my ground and will yell and scream when necessary. As a woman, I can get away with it (and it always makes me feel better! )

I totally agree, and that was my point as a gringa here.
In certain difficult situations you cannot be polite, so to suggest that is how you should handle all situations here is incorrect!
And after I have 'handled' these situations I am applauded and shown respect and told I am Dominican or I am not easy. Problem solved and dont have to deal with them again.

I have travelled to/lived in MUCH more difficult and dangerous countries for a woman than the D.R....from backpacking in various countries in Africa and the Caribbean, etc., so I know how to stand my ground.

 

[A.Hidalgo]

All right all ready I'm satisfied that you are one tough gringa.....proximo capitulo. :cheeky:

 

[cobraboy]

Correct me if I am wrong but is this Alida your Dominican wife/novia?

Yes.

And not a pretend wife. However, until she opens her mouth you'd think she's a gringo.

But that's moot. In the states I didn't hang around folks who try taking advantage of me (except employees), so I wouldn't do it here. Besides, I'd never move to a place where a tool to live a happy existence is deception.

 

[Berzin]

I'd never move to a place where a tool to live a happy existence is deception.

Good point. I've heard many a times that "When in Rome", blah blah blah.

I never understood why you would have to waste time telling a story(lying, basically) just to get someone off your back in the DR, why just saying NO isn't good enough.

Almost as if the truth were so offensive you dare not insult their sensitivities with it.

 

[jrhartley]

sorry ....but the truth is not always the best option , ie oh yes I have six computers and a large screen television in my house and I keep loads of money there all the time in case of emergencies

 

[SKing]

I lie when I have to and sometimes it keeps you from getting hurt or robbed. Or even taken advantage of.
Case in point:
In the capital yesterday, I took the kids on a horse drawn buggy ride through the Zona Colonial. We spent one hour in the buggy. When the buggy returned to the hotel, the driver charged (or TRIED to charge me $120)....yes 1-2-0 DOLLARS. I looked stunned and I am sure a little taken aback. He told me that that was the price and sat there looking at me with a very serious look on his face.
So I tried something not even knowing if it would work or not. I told him to give me a minute to call my Marido who is Dominican so that YOU can tell him how much this costs. He dropped the price to $80. My phone had no charge so I was really acting I told him that I was getting the voice mail because I forgot that my Marido was in a meeting inside the hotel. I told him that my Marido is a policeman and there is a police officers meeting inside of the hotel and that I wanted him to accompany me INSIDE the hotel so that I could have my Marido pulled from the meeting so that they could figure out a fair price for the buggy ride..............
Long story short, he got paid 900RD.
You do what you gotta do when you gotta do it.
It has nothing to do with how strong you are. Some Dominicans only know power...and if that power comes in the form of a fake police officer marido, so be it.
Furthermore, Mr. Cobraboy, and I'm being polite, until you suddenly turn into a single female with children living in a male dominated society I don't care about your opinions on that subject.
Also I won't speak on the reason alot of gringo men move here and marry Domincian women...we'll leave that to everyone's own thoughts and imaginations.
SHALENA

 

[AnnaC]

SHALENA
you are now in the DR so to make things easier ask ask ask first what something costs. Saves a lot of hassle. If you don't ask they will assume money is no object especially in a tourist area like the Zona Colonial.

Negotiate first!!<!-- / message -->

 

[bob saunders]

Also I won't speak on the reason alot of gringo men move here and marry Domincian women...we'll leave that to everyone's own thoughts and imaginations.
SHALENA

If you think it's for the reasons I believe you are insinuating I can assure you in my case you are 100% wrong. My wife is a strong willed and well educated woman who was and is successful. She can't cook, doesn't do laundry unless she has to...etc, but she is all women.

 

[corsair74]

As far as deception goes, having a sister that I'm very close to has helped me to see that sometimes the rules are slightly different for women. Sometimes it is far simpler (and safer) for them to just avoid confrontation.

For example, guys used to hit on my sister a lot before she got married. Most of the time, she'd just tell them no if she wasn't interested. But not all men are gentlemen. And some were reluctant to take no for an answer. So in order to avoid an unnecessary confrontation, my sis would give them my phone number and tell them it was hers.

That usually got the offending jerk out of her face. And I had no problem telling those that called that I'd find them and rip out their jawbones if they further molested my sis in any form or fashion.

Fact is, unlike with us men, sometimes it's just a little safer for women to employ a little deception.

I am sure that guys still hit on my sis. But that's her six foot three inch, 250 lb husband's problem now.


Vince.

 

[SKing]

If you think it's for the reasons I believe you are insinuating I can assure you in my case you are 100% wrong. My wife is a strong willed and well educated woman who was and is successful. She can't cook, doesn't do laundry unless she has to...etc, but she is all women.

That's good to know...I also know Chip's wife and she is a tornado!! But also I would like to stress that I did not say everybody, I said alot
SHALENA

 

[M.A.R.]

You guys aren't strong enough as individuals, so you have to lie to control the behavior of others when dealing with them?

The culture is such that deception insulates you from reality?

Why are you here again?

i don't know but sometimes i feel like you see the world from a glass bubble.

I do this too and I live here in the states, why, because its easy to get out of explaining myself to others. Guys back off and respect you a little more when you say you have a boyfriend or husband.

 

[Chip]

I lie when I have to and sometimes it keeps you from getting hurt or robbed. Or even taken advantage of.
Case in point:
In the capital yesterday, I took the kids on a horse drawn buggy ride through the Zona Colonial. We spent one hour in the buggy. When the buggy returned to the hotel, the driver charged (or TRIED to charge me $120)....yes 1-2-0 DOLLARS. I looked stunned and I am sure a little taken aback. He told me that that was the price and sat there looking at me with a very serious look on his face.
So I tried something not even knowing if it would work or not. I told him to give me a minute to call my Marido who is Dominican so that YOU can tell him how much this costs. He dropped the price to $80. My phone had no charge so I was really acting I told him that I was getting the voice mail because I forgot that my Marido was in a meeting inside the hotel. I told him that my Marido is a policeman and there is a police officers meeting inside of the hotel and that I wanted him to accompany me INSIDE the hotel so that I could have my Marido pulled from the meeting so that they could figure out a fair price for the buggy ride..............
Long story short, he got paid 900RD.
You do what you gotta do when you gotta do it.
It has nothing to do with how strong you are. Some Dominicans only know power...and if that power comes in the form of a fake police officer marido, so be it.
Furthermore, Mr. Cobraboy, and I'm being polite, until you suddenly turn into a single female with children living in a male dominated society I don't care about your opinions on that subject.
Also I won't speak on the reason alot of gringo men move here and marry Domincian women...we'll leave that to everyone's own thoughts and imaginations.
SHALENA

Shalena, this is really funny. If you didn't know already, police are very, very low payed typically unless they are high ranked officials. No doubt knowing that you were a gringa this guy must have assumed your "marido" was a general or something and that must have scared him straight, haha.

It is best to negotiate the price beforehand, and know that Dominicans expect you to negotiate with them. Typicaly, if it is a tourist enterprise, offer them a third of what they tell you the price is.

 

[corsair74]

Fact is, unlike with us men, sometimes it's just a little safer for women to employ a little deception.

Of course, pepper spray works just as well. Or a nice 100,000 watt stun gun. LOL!!!

But I digress.....


Vince.