Need legal advice about dominican mother rights and migracion

[La Rubia]

She stated the child does not want to go.It's best that the child stays with the father,he will have a better life.

You don't know that, anymore than we know what the mother will do.

I'm wondering what was promised to the mother in order for her to give her consent. I find it suspicious that the op accuses her of abuse in another thread, but then would have agreed to send the child back to her for extended visits.

Sorry, OP, you really shouldn't be the one to put yourself between the mother/child relationship. She is going to be his mother forever, and there is no gurantee how long you'll be the step-mom. If you really have bonded with the child, call mom to thank her for letting him come. Flatter her, fake it, lie, just be nice. Don't ever let the child hear you bad mouth his mother, and don't allow him to either.

In the long run, the legal solution in the DR is never the practical one. Make nice with the mother. You're unsure of him staying, make it a family vacation of two weeks, get mom to meet you--get her out of her element and give her just enough access for bonding, not enough to take hiim. And if you do love the child, you wouldn't begrudge helping out momma--make sure she has enough to eat, etc. I know she'll use it for other things, but you will always be able to tell the child that you tried to help her.

So take precautions, as it seems prudent to do so, but find a way that doesn't cut him off completely from his mother.

And custody documents usually don't include a statement that says, "if the child wants". From personal experience, children are somewhat fickle on why they will or won't see another parent, sometimes very legitimate, other times based on who has more favorable rules (or lack thereof), better junk food, more cable channels, etc.

Sorry, OP for more "non-legal" advice. There are no gurantees, for sure, as to outcome. But I'd encourage you to search for a middle ground. That, more than the law, will help you in the long run.

Best of luck to you.

 

[JMB773]

Lets be clear, you do not have to give birth to a child to be considered a mother, that is a insult to many "mothers" out there. The love for a child is not defined by who gave birth to the child. It is the one who gives their unconditional love and support. Maybe hate is a stong word but we have no idea what prompted the OP to say that. If the mother was so willing to sign papers for the child to leave why cry about it now. Mom sees the child has a good life so now she wants a piece of the pie, period.

It is a lot of "red tape" to take a child out of a country that is NOT the biological mother. Do some of you think the mother needs to write a letter and show the people at the airport and all we be well. To legally take the child back to the DR it would be a international nightmare. The Dominican government will need to get involved and do you think the DR will lift a finger to get the child back in DR. What upside will it be for the DR to get into a legal battle with Canada because some woman signed her child over to the father. She could have talked to any family or immigration lawyer in Canada and they could have advise her according to the law. She knows the woman does not have any money so how was she going to fight for her son. Does pro bono even exist in DR?

This woman is not naive she knows a bit about immigration law because she has her husband in Canada, so she has an idea how the law works. She anwsered her own question " the woman signed over custody" so what is the problem. Anytime parents have issues with custody it is a chance one of the parents can disappear with the child and this happens all over the world not just with this woman, most of the children in the USA that are kidnapped are done so by a parent in a custody battle.

Telling this OP not to let the biological mother see her son until he is 18 or not to let her see the child at all is CRAZY. I know women that have commited MURDERS and they are allowed to see their children when someone takes them to the prison. This mother made a mistake and in some of your minds she should pay for that mistake by not seeing her son for 12 yrs or at all.

Keepcoming what is the 1st thing a child says to the parent that gave them up for adoptions? Why did you give me up?

The boy has been with them since Nov 2012 and already she is trying to find a reason to send him back, if I paid money and fought my ass off to have a child I LOVED so much do you think I would be on a public board asking a question like that. I can see if it has been 3 yrs and not 3 months that the child has been in CAN and the mother still wants money.

She does not hate this woman because of $$$ she hates this woman because her husband and the woman share a child together, that is the only reason why a woman would hate another woman.

BTW If my ex wife in Santo Domingo had a child with another man, I would take care of the baby and my daughter, and the reason why is because that would be my daughter's sibling END OF STORY.

 

[charlie&ziggy]

Wow...... I am not sure where to start, I went through something similar years ago but in Canada. I have my son, since he was 3 months old because his mother ( I'll be kind and say is unstable). After she signed him over there was no way I would let him go and he didn't want to as he got older. In your position (not knowing the whole story) I wouldn't send him either. There is some great advice here by very many knowledgable people. Take it and balance it out........ The posts show it. It goes both ways for mothers and fathers, And Hate is a strong word, I know Grew to feel it but I had my reasons, not to Air dirty laundry. Use your head and keep the child involved in your thinking and safe!!!!

 

[Winkeladvocat]

you should think about what s in the best interest of the child. Sending him over the summer to his mother and then taking him back at the end seems like emotional torture for this poor boy. You have to decide if the child is better off with his mother or with you and your husband in Canada. One side has to let go for the sake of the emotional stability of the kid. Besides, if the mother still wants money NOW (despite you assuming all the financial responsibilities that comes with such custody) the mother will certainly not let go of the kid at the end of the summer. She will keep the child and insist that your husband send her a monthly check.

 

[Africaida]

Why can't the father visit the mom with his son ? The OP could join as well.

We are talking about summer vacations after all.

 

[Givadogahome]

Does pro bono even exist in DR? Yes but they won't touch anything complicated, she wouldn't get far with this I feel.

We can't start writing this womans history, because we don't know it has to be taken at face value.
I see nothing at all wrong for a woman who wants the best for a child doing what she needs to with her man, the childs father to give him that. This is not as if two strangers have walked in taken a strangers child and fled,it's the childs dad.
There is no reason the boy needs to pay for mistakes made by adults, his parents, too often kids become unimportant in this kind of struggle, before you know where you are it just becomes a competition between the adults, the welfare of the child unimportant. So in this case the child is without a doubt better off in Canada, to return him to a life where his mother is poor, his options are terrible and he goes on the back burner while mom tries to find money for food.

I'm sure you'll do what feels right, but remember here, people can be desperate, the same moral order does not apply, try not to put your mind in the mothers mind, that will be impossible, there is a certain detachment they are able to turn on, something that is really tough, but they manage. You need to be thinking about the child, not the mother.

Good luck.

 

[keepcoming]

It is a lot of "red tape" to take a child out of a country that is NOT the biological mother.

No just "una poder" signed by all parties. The red tape you say is basically just the pain it is to run around and have it stamped by everyone and pay for it. I have done this. Not once, not twice, several times. Based on the OP's post this is about custody not adoption. You also need to remember there was alot of other things that needed to be done such as passport, etc..and the biological mother would have been included in that process and clearly she went along with it. Should the biological mother never see her child? No I am not saying that. As for the OP asking these questions on a public forum, well maybe she is trying to reassure herself she is doing the right thing. Just like you would take care of a ex-wife's child the OP wants to take care of her spouses child. The bigger picture here is what is best in the long run for the child. That is what the concern should be. Wherever that may be.

 

[Givadogahome]

Why can't the father visit the mom with his son ? The OP could join as well.

We are talking about summer vacations after all.

Once the mother gets a hand on him she will not let go. The Canadian lady is more likely to leave with stitches in her head than the boy, really, remember what we're talking about here, a poor Dominican woman and money, lethal to come between the two. The law will ALWAYS give the child back to the biological mother once here unless actual adoption (I'm not even sure on custody)has been signed over, ALWAYS. If she wants to keep him, she needs to keep him away from DR, far AWAY.

 

[La Rubia]

you should think about what s in the best interest of the child. Sending him over the summer to his mother and then taking him back at the end seems like emotional torture for this poor boy. You have to decide if the child is better off with his mother or with you and your husband in Canada. One side has to let go for the sake of the emotional stability of the kid. Besides, if the mother still wants money NOW (despite you assuming all the financial responsibilities that comes with such custody) the mother will certainly not let go of the kid at the end of the summer. She will keep the child and insist that your husband send her a monthly check.

Both of the child's biological grandparents (and one would assume cousins) are in the DR. Many, many children are sent in this way. They learn to navigate two cultures, over time, not by suddenly returning at 18. Kids need to have those shared memories with their long distance family. Blended families are common. While I agree precautions must be taken, I don't believe it needs to be set up as an either/or situation.

 

[bronzeallspice]

Both of the child's biological grandparents (and one would assume cousins) are in the DR. Many, many children are sent in this way. They learn to navigate two cultures, over time, not by suddenly returning at 18. Kids need to have those shared memories with their long distance family. Blended families are common. While I agree precautions must be taken, I don't believe it needs to be set up as an either/or situation.

Yes,they learn to navigate two cultures when the relationship between the two parties involved is
amicable.But in this case,it does not seem to be,so precautions must be taken.

 

[bdablack]

Send the mother $50 a month and tell that is money for her to keep in touch with her son using an internet cafe. Ask her what are the bettter times for her to communicate with her son. Decide on a time and see if she continues to communicate with the boy without her attaching further conditions. This should give you a stick by which to measure her sincerity. Give it three or tour month, or longer, then make a decision.

 

[charlie&ziggy]

That is a good Idea also, Same as we do with our kids, Prove yourself ....give enough rope to hang yourself as another view...

Send the mother $50 a month and tell that is money for her to keep in touch with her son using an internet cafe. Ask her what are the bettter times for her to communicate with her son. Decide on a time and see if she continues to communicate with the boy without her attaching further conditions. This should give you a stick by which to measure her sincerity. Give it three or tour month, or longer, then make a decision.

 

[puryear270]

Send the mother $50 a month and tell that is money for her to keep in touch with her son using an internet cafe. Ask her what are the bettter times for her to communicate with her son. Decide on a time and see if she continues to communicate with the boy without her attaching further conditions. This should give you a stick by which to measure her sincerity. Give it three or tour month, or longer, then make a decision.

This is not good advice: this is EXCELLENT advice!

Also, speak with an attorney in your area, preferably one who has some experience in international adoptions (as the attorney will be familiar with rules regarding custody and international agreements).

 

[MerengueDutchie]

Based upon the original premise that custody was assigned to the one parent in Canada, the mother lost her rights.

Unless otherwise agreed in the custody agreement there is no right for the mother to have her son over for the summer.

If you do send the boy over, the mother, given her behavior, might decide to keep him in the DR... this might not be legally viable, but by the time this gets legally sorted he might be staying there for over a year..

So, if you are afraid the son might no be allowed back, talk to your husband and then you can both decide to not send the kid to her.

As an alternative you can send the boy to his grandparents, where his mom can visit him. This way he can still be in contact with his mom and his DR family. Staying at his grandparents makes it a lot more certain the kid comes back to Canada at the end of the summer.. assuming there is some financial support; the grandparents will make sure of it..

 

[bronzeallspice]

Based upon the original premise that custody was assigned to the one parent in Canada, the mother lost her rights.

Unless otherwise agreed in the custody agreement there is no right for the mother to have her son over for the summer.

If you do send the boy over, the mother, given her behavior, might decide to keep him in the DR... this might not be legally viable, but by the time this gets legally sorted he might be staying there for over a year..

So, if you are afraid the son might no be allowed back, talk to your husband and then you can both decide to not send the kid to her.

As an alternative you can send the boy to his grandparents, where his mom can visit him. This way he can still be in contact with his mom and his DR family. Staying at his grandparents makes it a lot more certain the kid comes back to Canada at the end of the summer.. assuming there is some financial support; the grandparents will make sure of it..

That's assuming the daughter is not living with her parents,which is doubtful.Even if she doesn't
live with them,who's to stop her from taking the child? I don't think her parents would intervene.

 

[AlterEgo]

bronzie, I think they meant the father's parents....????? To send him to the mother's parents would be no different than sending him to her.

 

[bronzeallspice]

bronzie, I think they meant the father's parents....????? To send him to the mother's parents would be no different than sending him to her.

I see.But they must take precautions only allow her to see the child at their home.Under no
circumstances allow her to take the child anywhere without them.She could be very cunning.

 

[DOMINCAN JOE]

bronzie, I think they meant the father's parents....????? To send him to the mother's parents would be no different than sending him to her.

,

. So, I really want to respect my words and send the child to spend the summer over there with his mother.

.....

 

[MerengueDutchie]

That's assuming the daughter is not living with her parents,which is doubtful.Even if she doesn't
live with them,who's to stop her from taking the child? I don't think her parents would intervene.

Both sets of grandparents live in the DR no?

So send the boy to his paternal grandparents!!!!!! They will keep an eye on him.. and on the mother's dealings with him

I think that is the most reasonable alternative... to not sending the boy at all - which is against his best interest as well and deprives his mother of all contact..

 

[bronzeallspice]

Both sets of grandparents live in the DR no?

So send the boy to his paternal grandparents!!!!!! They will keep an eye on him.. and on the mother's dealings with him

I think that is the most reasonable alternative... to not sending the boy at all - which is against his best interest as well and deprives his mother of all contact..

It deprives the mother of all contacts? But didn't she lose that right when she signed over her rights to
the father by granting him full custody?Instead she should have requested a clause to have the
child with her during the summer months.