Problems with my dominican girlfriend

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barker1964

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No not at all.. Besides if American guys mistreat Dominicanas I can only imagine the relationships between Dominicanos.. We were friends with benefits pretty much. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with the same girl when one goes on vacation.

You might have found one of the "GOOD" ones. It's a whole lot better than the kind that all they want is money and no commitment. I think at first it was fun on both parts but after a while someone fell in love FWB(Friends With Benifits) in the end never work out.........Next time tell the next one that no way you want to get married that you just want to have a vacation GF and if she agrees to that run like hell.
 

Bronxboy

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Jul 11, 2007
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How can you not read this thread with the title "Problems with my Dominican Girlfriend". The topic flooded me with sooo many memories, ahh.

As for the Mars/Venus forum, this is the post of the month in my opinion.
 

Alyonka

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You might have found one of the "GOOD" ones. It's a whole lot better than the kind that all they want is money and no commitment. I think at first it was fun on both parts but after a while someone fell in love FWB(Friends With Benifits) in the end never work out.........Next time tell the next one that no way you want to get married that you just want to have a vacation GF and if she agrees to that run like hell.

FBO (Friends With Benifits) usually means that a girl really likes a guy who is not ready for a serious relatioship. That is all. And it almost never works out. That is true.
 

Ken

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Jan 1, 2002
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But what do you people mean by "commitment" - marriage? engagement? If you never actually considered any of this - why even start dating? That is why Dominican girls call Americans "liars" - that is totally true. You are just using people for your own personal benefit and then get rid of them if they ask for a "commitment."

That is your view, but I have seen too many cases of the gringo being used by the girl to agree with you.

My first observation was while I was living on a sailboat in Samana harbor. Nearby was a retired Navy guy who had been stationed for many years in Puerto Rico. He took up with a Dominican girl and they were living together on his boat. He was very happy, caller her his "Princess" and spent a lot of money on her. But then he discovered that she was married and that the husband and other family members were caring for the kids while she was living with the ex-sailor on his boat. He told her to leave, she made a complaint to the fiscal. However, when the sailor went for the interview and explained that the girl was married, the matter was dropped by the fiscal after verifying this was true.

I could give other examples, but I think this is the rule rather than the exception. I am not saying it is always the case, as evidenced by the success stories reported by a few on this board, but I think with the type of girl tourists usually take up with, chances are pretty good that they are using each other and the anger of the girl is not because she has been deceived but because her payday is getting away from her.
 

Lobo Tropical

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Aug 21, 2010
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Fff

Hi. I had posted about a month ago about the problems I had been having with my dominican girlfriend. My trip there several weeks ago didn't go well at all... She pretty much said that drinks, trips, gifts etc weren't enough, that she needed a commitment. I can't give her that.

I've actually decided that I'm going to choose another spot to go to for awhile.. Dominican women are my weakness, my trips there are just so intense, I can't even describe it. Even on a friendship level I feel that some dominicans toy with extrajeros and play on to weaknesses. I just need to take a break from going there so often and focus on finding love in my own backyard.... :bored:

Yeah,
If it flies, floats or $***$ rent it, real love is hard to find.
If it makes you happy to donate do so, but don't expect appreciation.
No matter what you give it's never enough.
Good luck with love in the US, at least she'll be working.
 

Africaida

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Jun 19, 2009
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FBO (Friends With Benifits) usually means that a girl really likes a guy who is not ready for a serious relatioship. That is all. And it almost never works out. That is true.

Disagree, 2 adults having a good time.
On the other hand, I agree they rarely work, because one get attached, when the fun is too damn good (not always the girl :) )
 

MMensah

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Oct 30, 2010
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That FWB nonsense is an American phenomenon (as was aptly explained in the earlier thread). Part of the Kardashianization of the American Moral Culture. No decent woman, especially outside of America, is looking for the "BENEFIT" of sex without commitment. For women, having sex is not a benefit, because sex is cheaper than even water, you can ALWAYS find it. For men, sex usually comes at a cost/obligation, so finding some woman willing to give you a free ride is a benefit. A BENEFIT for a woman would be a man who is willing to pay all her bills without the obligation of sex. As preposterous as that sounds to men, that is how that FWB crap sounds to most women.
 

shawn27

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May 24, 2010
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That FWB nonsense is an American phenomenon (as was aptly explained in the earlier thread). Part of the Kardashianization of the American Moral Culture. No decent woman, especially outside of America, is looking for the "BENEFIT" of sex without commitment. For women, having sex is not a benefit, because sex is cheaper than even water, you can ALWAYS find it. For men, sex usually comes at a cost/obligation, so finding some woman willing to give you a free ride is a benefit. A BENEFIT for a woman would be a man who is willing to pay all her bills without the obligation of sex. As preposterous as that sounds to men, that is how that FWB crap sounds to most women.

I disagree, probably easier to find women outside of the US to be friends with benefits... Also depends on what your definition of "decent" is... :squareeye:squareeye;)
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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No not at all.. Besides if American guys mistreat Dominicanas I can only imagine the relationships between Dominicanos.. We were friends with benefits pretty much. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with the same girl when one goes on vacation.

Obviously not the case, FWB only works when both people are not interested in a relationship. You have to beable to separate yourself from the sankies everyone bitches about, you use the women you are only an Americanized sankie with principles not far from. Using the woman in the full knowledge she is expecting more, infact mongers are a cut above, at least they don't play the game according to their rules only, they pay to play, everyone know the game and the rules, no one loses.
You give your game away in your wordings of your posts on this thread.
So the hustler gets his calling card and the game ends, cool. Good luck in the USA buddy!:pirate:
 

bob saunders

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Jan 1, 2002
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But what do you people mean by "commitment" - marriage? engagement? If you never actually considered any of this - why even start dating? That is why Dominican girls call Americans "liars" - that is totally true. You are just using people for your own personal benefit and then get rid of them if they ask for a "commitment."

Using people, then complaining that they use you. That?s what this sounds like to me.
 

shawn27

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No this was only recently that she started asking for "more." I never did think I was using her at all. Now we get into that same dried up argument how Dominicans are stigmatized by foreigners. Not the case. Again, I can fly to DR really cheap from Ft. Laud so I go a lot. Have no shame in saying sex is usually part of my vacation. I don't see anything wrong with having a girl that I can go out to dinner, movies, drinks, trips around DR, and yes have sex with while I'm there no strings attached. She didn't have a problem with it the previous trips. Plus I know a few guys that go that have similar relationships with women there..
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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I have FWB....there are some of us that do NOT want to get married. And after I've done 6 surgeries in a row it delivered a few babies in a 12 hour shift, I wanna go home and relax and not have some man with his feet up on my coffee table asking me where's his dinner.

SHALENA
 

Yayow

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A BENEFIT for a woman would be a man who is willing to pay all her bills without the obligation of sex. As preposterous as that sounds to men, that is how that FWB crap sounds to most women.

I understand your problem with the traditonal thoughts of FWB's, but I always thought that was a two way street, both parties enjoying their friendship as that is understood, (hanging out, and basically enjoying each others company), as well as enjoying the sexual proponent of the relationship as well (I have always felt that sex with someone you truly like or better yet love was far superior to any other alternative). I never thought that women felt that sex was such a terrible "obligation". What a shame, to feel that way.

I for one would never want someone I cared for to feel an obligation because we are friendly to have sex. I would much prefer just to be friends in the traditional fashion. If we were friends and decided to be sexual partners, hopefully it is mutual, and enhanced because of our feelings towards each other.

But then again what do I know?
 

Acira

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I have FWB....there are some of us that do NOT want to get married. And after I've done 6 surgeries in a row it delivered a few babies in a 12 hour shift, I wanna go home and relax and not have some man with his feet up on my coffee table asking me where's his dinner.

SHALENA

I go the lucky shot then, my partner is the cook in the house.
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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FWB always ends in disaster for the F bit!

Not true. My best guy friend is a FWB. Met in DR in 2007, we went partying all over, he took me everywhere. Every trip I made I went to see him at least one day. He protects me when I'm right and will curse me out when I'm wrong. We had sex in 2008, it was good, and we've been doing ever since. Not all of the time of course, but when we feel like it and are in the mood. He's my best guy friend and I love him as a friend but I would NEVER date that fool and he knows it. We have the perfect friendship and I wouldn't change it for a thing!! Friends with Beneficios for 4 years now and even tighter than ever!

SHALENA
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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Not true. My best guy friend is a FWB. Met in DR in 2007, we went partying all over, he took me everywhere. Every trip I made I went to see him at least one day. He protects me when I'm right and will curse me out when I'm wrong. We had sex in 2008, it was good, and we've been doing ever since. Not all of the time of course, but when we feel like it and are in the mood. He's my best guy friend and I love him as a friend but I would NEVER date that fool and he knows it. We have the perfect friendship and I wouldn't change it for a thing!! Friends with Beneficios for 4 years now and even tighter than ever!

SHALENA

Talk to me when either one of you enters a relationship and have to be with each other withou the comfort of screwing on the cards, or when something changes in it. Like I said, always ENDS in disaster, this has not run its course yet as there is no change in the dynamic. Shawns changed because something needed change and it was not mutual!
 

RacerX

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Nov 22, 2009
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But what do you people mean by "commitment" - marriage? engagement? If you never actually considered any of this - why even start dating? That is why Dominican girls call Americans "liars" - that is totally true. You are just using people for your own personal benefit and then get rid of them if they ask for a "commitment."

You are drawing conclusions using erroneous concepts. You are making an arrangement that all Dominican women are virtuous and destined for greatness. And all foreigners are the equivalent of the wily sinister character in cartoons with the black cape, black hat and thin crooked moustache corrupting morals and deceiving people.

Dominican women will call you a liar if what YOU want to do doesnt jibe with what they think you should do or what they envisioned you would do in their head. You cannot call Shawn a liar because he didnt come here for 2 weeks meet some woman and decide off the cuff to marry her. What I would do is call the men who do that liars because you have set up a whole premise full of absurdities. Like AZB would say they come here meet the 1st woman who would give them the time of day and then marry her. They never come back to this site, some do occasionally, and give us progress in their relationship. The fruitful marriage to a stranger I call it.

YOU are a liar if you cannot OR are unwilling to fulfill a whole Cinderella fantasy. But no one ever questions how credible that fantasy was to begin with. This may not be your sole purpose in coming here BUT it is theirs. Love at 1st sight is something every hopes to get a foreigner to ascribe to. If you can sell yourself then I dont have to work that hard at hiding my defects.

In my mind will always be the guy, who sat behind me on the plane last year after the earthquake, who married a woman with 4 kids just because "she is so poor and didnt have much." He dont speak Spanish she doesnt speak English but everyone is at the reception laughing. This guy was a clod. This was last year. I really, really, really want to know the progress of their relationship 1.5 year later.

This woman should consider herself lucky to have met a man like Shawn. 1st of all, he can come whenever he wants to and stay for a while. Not one of those guys who can only come once a year for a week. So the latter guy has to cram the whole relationship into that one week. At least he can come and afford to take the woman places. Most of her companeros couldnt afford to do anything and probably wouldnt spend the money anyway. What she should be doing is finding a way to make MORE out of the relationship instead of giving him ultimatums and pushing him away. I dont know the guy so I wont say he is a baller but he puts more on the table than the average Dominican man, college educated or otherwise.
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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Talk to me when either one of you enters a relationship and have to be with each other withou the comfort of screwing on the cards, or when something changes in it. Like I said, always ENDS in disaster, this has not run its course yet as there is no change in the dynamic. Shawns changed because something needed change and it was not mutual!

He has a girlfriend that he has 2 kids with, we have no problems. We both love him, in different ways. By the way, I have a son that's 1....Ummmm, so that means that somewhere along the line I was in a relationship also. Although my son's father hated the fact that my friend and I spent a lot if time together when I lived in DR, he respected my relationship with him, as well as my friend's girlfriend. When I can't find him, I call her and she let's me know where he is. We are best friends, nothing will change that. We have slept together a million times (actually sleeping, I mean). Sometimes we just sleep together and sometimes we sleep together. Somos amigos de alma...

SHALENA

It's possible....
 
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