Remembering Matilda/Lindsay de Feliz

AlterEgo

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I’ve had messages from some who wanted to reminisce about Lindsay or pay their respects. This thread is for those purposes only.

(The original thread will be reopened when the court case begins, or there are any new developments. None of that belongs here, this is for tributes only).
 

whirleybird

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Feb 27, 2006
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I’ve had messages from some who wanted to reminisce about Lindsay or pay their respects. This thread is for those purposes only.

(The original thread will be reopened when the court case begins, or there are any new developments. None of that belongs here, this is for tributes only).

I was about to start this thread too and entitle it "Missing Lindsay!" We used to speak every day... yes, including Christmas Day and New Year. You can see what came up on my Facebook memories today from 6 years ago when I was fortunate enough to spend the Christmas holiday with Lindsay and family at the Wasp House. I miss you, Linds, like you cannot imagine!! Will eat sprouts and sage and onion stuffing with my chicken a bit later in your honour! Oh, and bubble and squeak with the leftovers! RIP my beautiful friend.
 
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AlterEgo

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I’ll add my two cents. When I think of Lindsay and Christmas, Chivirico comes to mind. She made such a difference in that boy’s life, teaching him about unconditional love. And about Santa Claus. She found a website that offered personalized messages from Santa, and they sent a video from Santa to Chivi, who talked to the computer screen Santa and wanted to know why Santa wouldn’t shut up and listen to him. :) Many of Lindsay’s friends became vested in a positive outcome to this story, and money and gifts came in to make Chivi’s Christmas special. She covered it all in her blog. Every year, she made sure Christmas was celebrated with Chivirico, and I think it was last year that he said he didn’t want any presents for himself, he wanted gifts for some kids who have nothing. Proof of a job well done by Lindsay.
 

keepcoming

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I enjoyed the books she recommended. I actually ordered Highveld Ways by Valerie Poore after reading her recommendation on her blog.
 

Abuela

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May 13, 2006
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I too was thinking about Chivirico this week. He must be so sad and bewildered. Between his natural savvy skill set and and that which Lindsay gave him I trust he will be the exception to the rule and rise above his circumstances. The times I've been with him I sensed a wise old soul who's very bright. My favorite story from Lindsay's books was how as a little boy yearned for a passbook bank account and budgeted his homemade cookie sales income to achieve that lofty goal.
 

AlterEgo

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I enjoyed the books she recommended. I actually ordered Highveld Ways by Valerie Poore after reading her recommendation on her blog.

My very last message from her was a link to a Kindle book that she knew I’d like, and it was free for that day only. I downloaded it, and sent her a quick response saying thanks and telling her I got it. Kind of an ignominious end to thousands of messages. :(
 

whirleybird

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On that fateful Tuesday evening I sent messages knowing that she had a very full and busy day but saying I understood that she may be still busy or tired and not feeling up to replying - little did I know that, by that point in time, she was unable to reply so those messages go unanswered forever :(
 

laurajane

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May 23, 2005
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www.thecircusofdreams.com
I think before I moved to the DR in 2004 I had met Lindsay on DR1, if not certainly very early during my expat life. At first I purely benefited from her wealth of knowledge and friendliness until I visited her in Juan Dolió, the first of many visits as I was only a short distance away in Higuey. I learned of her previous attack and she told me her stories, she was no victim and her sense of humour towards the hard times was amazing to me and I admired her so much. We became good friends and were in contact nearly everyday. I was surprisingly acknowledged like many of her close friends and featured in her first book along with my circus (long story). Lindsay stayed with us in Higuey and we had a blast! She called me “Dork”, in fact I don’t ever think she called me Laura.

When she moved from Juan Dolió I bought her a box of 36 walnut whips as she loved them so much and put them away as I was intending to visit, a few weeks passed and I thought I had best send them to her only to find three walnut whips in the box, my step son had discovered them, he was curious apparently...33 times! We laughed about it for years

On my return to the UK 10 years later we stayed in contact and only recently was talking with Her about dealing with my divorce and the usual chit chat.

Quite simply I couldn’t have survived as long as I did in the DR without her, her positivity and humour were her shining lights. I loved her and have so much respect for her. I am sure if I could have a conversation with her now she would have some kind of hilarious inappropriate joke about what has happened.

In her book she said that as she didn’t have children she wanted to somehow make her mark and make a difference before she left this world, well she certainly did, in fact I would say she made it a much nicer world to live in.

Rest in peace Lindsay xxx
 

dulce

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Jan 1, 2002
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Thank you ladies for sharing your memories of Lindsay and Chivirico .
I have been thinking of them during the holidays also.
I have been honoring her memory by re-reading her blog. I have started from the oldest to the latest.
She has a nice blog about Christmas in her neighborhood. It is complete with a picture of a crude Christmas tree in street.
She sure was in love with the DR and the simple life from the beginning.
 

DR Solar

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With respect. Her love of animals has me wondering. Have they been taken care of? Do they need new homes?
 
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I first met Lindsay personally years ago at Ginnie Bush's memorial and again, later at Graham's house. I would like to think that she is up there with all the other original dr1'ers who gave us such great advice. They were such experts on so many things! Back then the DR was a bit more wild and wooly, we could not have lived without these trailblazers. I imagine they are continuing all their intellectual discussions that they first started here on this board......back when discussions were intellectual and polite.
 

johne

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I first met Lindsay personally years ago at Ginnie Bush's memorial and again, later at Graham's house. I would like to think that she is up there with all the other original dr1'ers who gave us such great advice. They were such experts on so many things! Back then the DR was a bit more wild and wooly, we could not have lived without these trailblazers. I imagine they are continuing all their intellectual discussions that they first started here on this board......back when discussions were intellectual and polite.

And civil. And sensitive to other's religion, personal beliefs, and cultural differences ,especially! in a country that they are a guest in. (PS; watch the reaction to a 20 word statement).
 

AlterEgo

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And civil. And sensitive to other's religion, personal beliefs, and cultural differences ,especially! in a country that they are a guest in. (PS; watch the reaction to a 20 word statement).

I agree with you, but please let’s keep this thread only about Lindsay.
 

Drro

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Mar 22, 2006
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Lindsay was one of my oldest and closest friends, one of the first people I met here about 14 years ago. After meeting in person, we were in a chat group every day/night online as she was writing her first book. I haven’t posted until now because it’s been too private for me. I have, however, gone over some of the fun times we had together in Juan Dolio and in Cocique on holidays or any ordinary (if there were such a thing where she lived) day. I spoke to Lindsay the Tuesday morning before. She was in the middle of one of the chapters in her new book and it was about me and our friend Catherine and trying to put a necktie on Danilo. The laughter, the fun, the comraderie, the good will, the love for one another was present through our conversation and in the reminiscing of it as well. I was having trouble that week with my teeth and she was teasing me, ‘oh oh sounds like another chapter’. She was one person who was so count-on-able to have my back and vice versa. For those of you who are familiar with Grey’s Anatomy, she was my go-to person and I was hers. I think she held this role for many people. Such a special woman, such a special friend, such a special relationship, such precious memories. I was always invited to visit her, no matter what, she would say ‘your room is always ready and waiting’. I felt part of her family. I miss her so very much and talk to her every day in my head. RIP my dear dear friend
 

bienamor

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Apr 23, 2004
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Never did meet Matilda but always appreciated her knowledge of the country, and the help/assistance to others in the forum. I did have the honor of helping one time when she was re-cataloging her files in preparation of getting her new laptop.
 

Meemselle

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In the weeks since her loss, I have been thinking of Lindsay almost constantly. I went back and re-read her books, as many others have done. I guess what comes through, in memories and in her own words, is Lindsay's fierce and unwavering commitment to living in the moment. Her focus on making the life she had as joyous and fully-lived as possible is my fondest memory of her. Her wry eye did not suffer fools gladly, and yet her kindness was instinctive and unconditional.

We first became acquainted when she put out a call for "interesting ex-pats" because she was writing a profile for an international living magazine. She asked for people to tell her in 300 words or less why one thought one was interesting. I said, "Hell, I can tell you in 30." So I did, and she agreed, and she profiled me, and that was the beginning. She was unstinting in her assistance as I took my blogger baby steps, and helped me understand the analytics part, which is not my strength.

She was a magnificent hostess, and I always looked forward to my visits to the Wasp House, staying in "Ro's Room." I can see her now, perched on the edge of a chair, legs perfectly crossed, back ramrod straight, glass of rum at hand, wreathed in cigarette smoke, as we sat up to the wee hours as she regaled me with tales of her life. She packed more in to her 64 years than many of us do in a lifetime.

In "Romeo and Juliet," Shakespeare gives Juliet an exquisite speech describing her love. With gender substitutions, I submit:

When she shall die,
Take her and cut her out in little stars,
And she will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.


How I shall miss her.
 

AlterEgo

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She loved sharing what she had with neighbors too. When her second book was published, there was a logistical problem getting a supply of both books to her in DR from her publisher. In the end, the publisher shipped them to me in NJ, in a bunch of smallish boxes. We repacked them into the large boxes that the mundanzas use. The last box was only half full, so I filled it with an assortment of things I thought she could use. Because the mundanza will also deliver a 50 pound bag of rice at no additional shipping cost, we added that. Not very long after everything was delivered, she mentioned going to buy rice for tea. Rice?? Yes, rice. Because that 50 pounds was repacked into plastic bags and shared with all her neighbors.

One year they grew an abundance of guandules. Neighbors got free sacks. Ditto avocados and whatever else grew. She loved her vegetable garden.