A guy goes to a bar and announces to his fellow patrons: "I just got back from the doctor. He said I have to give up half my sex life."
To which the smart-ass barkeep replied: "Which half? Thinking about it or talking about it...?"
:rimshot:
- Thread starter Harleysrock
- Start date
Stupid Gringo Mistake #1
To which the smart-ass barkeep replied: "Which half? Thinking about it or talking about it...?"
:rimshot:
MA,
Have you considered dusting off those cobwebs once a year and taking a stroll through Gazgue for some fresh meat, you might wake up with a smile?
terrible tambo'
Very Sorry, MT. Annie!
I must have forgot that "Grandparents and Aunts" don't enjoy, or even have, sex anymore!
OH, Do you need any fresh batteries??????
As far as "Information" goes, "It's ALL GOOD"!
When we decline to imbibe from the "Fount of Information", we will soon shrivel and die!
In fact,I plan a trip to "Black Beard's Adult Resort" in Costambar next month!
Mine is starting to "Shrivel" right now!!!!!!!!
Can't allow THAT!
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I must have forgot that "Grandparents and Aunts" don't enjoy, or even have, sex anymore!
OH, Do you need any fresh batteries??????
As far as "Information" goes, "It's ALL GOOD"!
When we decline to imbibe from the "Fount of Information", we will soon shrivel and die!
In fact,I plan a trip to "Black Beard's Adult Resort" in Costambar next month!
Mine is starting to "Shrivel" right now!!!!!!!!
Can't allow THAT!
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Don't worry "Anna" handcuffs ARE available in Canada, if you have misplaced yours!
By the way, are you aware that all DR1 "Mods" must set foot in the DR once in every 5 year period, or lose you job????
When you coming "HOME"?
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By the way, are you aware that all DR1 "Mods" must set foot in the DR once in every 5 year period, or lose you job????
When you coming "HOME"?
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I know, I know. The weather has been so great here in Southern Ontario till today. Now I wish I had left weeks ago
It kind of is, because crude sexual discussions are not uncommon, and so we are back to choice of what we read. No one is hooking anyone up so I don't see the harm, I just don't read what I don't like and I know I won't like it before I click because I can see who is contributing.
For example I rarely click on a thread where I see Chips name coming up a lot, because I know what the thread is going to be about. If certain posters offend then maybe do the same?
yeah i know.. but CCCCC is the one that triggered me since I know FAR more about his personal sexual life than I ever needed or wanted to.. An occasional reference is fine..
but you men sometimes talk like you are alone in the locker room
that is all i am sayin.. not that I am a prude or have not been there and done a lot of that.. just..
well.. I am sure that you catch my drift.
and maybe that is fine if you know the poster.. you know that CCCC is gonna be crude and Chip is going to be religious.
But I spent a YEAR on DR1 before I even got here .. sometimes ALL day. So there are a lot of people who are ready these forums who are not posting. Lots of folks wondering if they can relocate here.
That is really what I treasure these forums for.. the information/.
maybe we need a lets talk dirty in hawaiin forum which is clearly designated for sex stuff
maybe that would help???????
But I spent a YEAR on DR1 before I even got here .. sometimes ALL day. So there are a lot of people who are ready these forums who are not posting. Lots of folks wondering if they can relocate here.
That is really what I treasure these forums for.. the information/.
maybe we need a lets talk dirty in hawaiin forum which is clearly designated for sex stuff
maybe that would help???????
i honestly can not express how personally offensive i find this post
if you were here i would kiick you right between your legs
Oh I get what you mean CCCCC can turn almost any discussion into sexual reference and he likes a reaction, obviously he is successful. I'd take most of it tongue in cheek though, I am sure much of it is taking the pi$$ out of his surroundings and sad realities of DR, but much goes over peoples heads. Or maybe I'm wrong and he truly is a filthy old monger
I think we can surmise that MTA is in a Depressive swing today????
I find that when I feel a downward Mood Swing coming on, I find it very helpful to seek out a young Dominicana,take her to a cheap "Cabana", and have her read "John 14" to me until I feel "Mucho Mejor"!
Then we have depraved sex until she can no longer stand it, and begs me to STOP!
Usually about 2 minutes!
"Dog", I'm semi-retired, but I still "MON-Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" when I feel "UP TO "IT"!
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"Viagra" is the "OLDE Monger's Friend!!!!
The "Ignore Button" can make me "Disappear", although no one has ever been able to use it.
Everyone likes watching a train wreck!
I find that when I feel a downward Mood Swing coming on, I find it very helpful to seek out a young Dominicana,take her to a cheap "Cabana", and have her read "John 14" to me until I feel "Mucho Mejor"!
Then we have depraved sex until she can no longer stand it, and begs me to STOP!
Usually about 2 minutes!
"Dog", I'm semi-retired, but I still "MON-Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" when I feel "UP TO "IT"!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
"Viagra" is the "OLDE Monger's Friend!!!!
The "Ignore Button" can make me "Disappear", although no one has ever been able to use it.
Everyone likes watching a train wreck!
Oh I get what you mean CCCCC can turn almost any discussion into sexual reference and he likes a reaction, obviously he is successful. I'd take most of it tongue in cheek though, I am sure much of it is taking the pi$$ out of his surroundings and sad realities of DR, but much goes over peoples heads. Or maybe I'm wrong and he truly is a filthy old monger
Careful, that's the sort of talk that appeals to him............
Can i first say that i was not expecting this to be the content of the discussion with that title. And second, its nice to hear that there is some kinky-ness on this site. Personally, it makes me feel more at home and even more comfortable with the idea of moving down. So Harlerysrock, thanks for the post and everyone else for your replies bc this kinky individual is happy to hear from ya'll
Pink
IF YOUR HANDCUFFS ARE PINK ANN FURRY, THEY LET YOU GO!
Remember that handcuffs are called esposas, use google translate if you are challenged.
Second mistake is being a stupid gringo.
If you use anal plugs say the are for the sink and bathtub, as plugs are often missing...... pendejo!
Any more questions ask Chris Colon cccccccc?
Well I almost got deported before I got through the POP Airport because i missed the part where you can't bring handcuffs in. I swear I looked at all the illigal items but obviously not. I was worried about the cats in the baggage area dying or paying for duty on the MANY household items my Wife INSISTED on bringing but nope, they asked "You Police?" I said no then they all got serious with the hancuffs in the suitcase (yes i know I'm an idiot!) Detained for 2 hours while calling Santo Domingo. Thought I would get a cavity seaqrch but i was lucky on that one! When they got me alone they asked "used for bedroom?" I replied yes and they seemed to like that :cheeky:
The whole time I was being asked questions the men let my Wife walk around get the rental car, get the animals water etc...They said I was done here in a serious Voice and I thoguht they meant the DR!! That I had to go back to Canada and they laughed and sent me on our way. The good thing is no Duty charges and all 4 animals LOVE IT IN THERE NEW HOME! So if you want to distract from duty charges bring in an illegal item to distract them ;-)
Loving it here on my second day with it seems to be our Housekeeper and her extended Family. Not really used to the housekeeper thing and feel really uncomfortable about them doing everything for us but I'm sure I will get used to it!
Easton
IF YOUR HANDCUFFS ARE PINK ANN FURRY, THEY LET YOU GO!
Remember that handcuffs are called esposas, use google translate if you are challenged.
Second mistake is being a stupid gringo.
If you use anal plugs say the are for the sink and bathtub, as plugs are often missing...... pendejo!
Any more questions ask Chris Colon cccccccc?
If you are looking for action visit Frank12 in Cabarete, research his "post" for directions!
Don't go to Sosua as it is "laid back" and family friendly, as Frank will attest!:classic:
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"Jekel", will the "Good Doctor" be joining you?
Or maybe just "Heckel"??????
They are both "Kinksters"!
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Or maybe just "Heckel"??????
They are both "Kinksters"!
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Well you're doing better than me, I'm nowhere near retirement and a semi is about as good as it gets.
The only dark hot thing that stimulates me comes from my coffee cup in the morning. If I carry on at this rate I think I'll have an inverter(d) by the time I'm your age, and I'm not talking lecy backup.