The Man Test


Jan 14, 2002
The Man Test!

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Your Results:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"


Jan 14, 2002
Comon guys...

This was a joke posted in the joke bin. Everyone here on this board of course with the EXCEPTION of Tony_C who completely lives by this, took it as a joke.

My wife (whom I have have been separated from for more than 1 1/2 years) can attest to the fact that I just try to please. She was so convinced that I try to please that she didn't understand why I stopped contributing to her retirement account after we split up!

She still feels that I should improve the quality of her life and work like a dog till I am 110 years old. She has confidence that I will do this! Just ask her. LOL

Lets keep it light folks and not compare jokes to Generalizations.


Jan 14, 2002
jessica__78 said:
God I just cant imagine why you and your wife split up????:confused: ;) :D

well before all this stuff came out to grow your penis by 10000 percent that I get in email every day I had this wee willie... She wanted more and left me.

I stand before you humiliated because I cannot tell a lie.


New member
Apr 3, 2002
WOW! Your honesty has shocked me! I am also a wee bit intrigued!

But you know what the say curisoty killed the cat!

By the way no pun intended!


Jan 14, 2002
Well now that I take all this stuff that is available on the internet I am considered by all the women the "Great White Hope".

My confidence is way up and my penis is way down, down, down... What are you doing this weekend, we can become friendly if you are free!